Chapter 1
Sirius was going to die. His heart was going to give out, and he'd be found dead in the shower, killed from shame. He could imagine the coroner's report: 29-year-old male, COD not locking the bathroom door. Merlin's fuming balls. He tried to do one nice thing for himself, and this is how the universe treated him.
"I'll... I'll... uh..." Remus stammered and then red faced turned around and left, slamming the door behind him. His footsteps could be heard thudding through the flat, followed by the distinct slam of his bedroom door. If only he'd bothered being as noisy entering the flat. Or knocked on the bathroom door. Hell, Sirius would even have accepted a couple seconds notice to turn around. But no, instead Remus had to enter when Sirius was impaled on the 9-inch purple dildo. Which of course was stuck to the glass shower wall. Which faced the bathroom door. On reflection, he probably should have locked the door; but he was meant to be home alone for at least another day. Grunting he pulled himself off the evil toy which up until 15 seconds ago he'd really rather liked. His cheeks were hot with shame still and his cock had wilted; he definitely wasn't going to get any joy from continuing riding the thing.
He focused on cleaning himself up, rinsing the blasted thing, and then turned off the water. The silence in the flat was now deafening. Drying himself off, he steeled himself for leaving the bathroom. Holding his head high, he opened the door and then promptly dashed down the hallway clutching the dildo in one hand, whilst his other held up his towel. He absolutely did not squeak in fear as he almost dropped the toy whilst opening his door. He would admit to promptly throwing himself into bed though, covering himself in the mound of scrunched up blankets that permanently lived there. Fuck. How was he meant to face Remus after this? Doing what he always did in times of crisis, he reached an arm out of the nest he'd buried himself under to find his phone. James would know what to do.
Idiots in arms*
Siriusly mad: help I fked up
Lost the Potter: Need me to bail you out of jail fucked up or stained your favourite shirt fucked up? Siriusly mad: Somewhere in the middle? Thnk I need a new place to stay
Lost the Potter: Did you have a fight with Moony?
Siriusly mad: No.
Lost the Potter: Okay... did you block the toilet again and flood the house?
Siriusly mad: Omg! U promised not to talk abt that!
Lost the Potter: Hahaha okay. You're gonna need to give me more context so I can help mate Siriusly mad: He just.. saw something he shouldnt have. Thnk he knows im bent
Lost the Potter: Oh mate, I'm sure he doesn't care
Lost the Potter: Wait
Lost the Potter: Did he say something?
Lost the Potter: I'm going to fucking kill him
Siriusly mad: No! Calm down he didnt say anything. Its just gonna b weird now Lost the Potter: I'm sure he won't care
Siriusly mad: U just thought he said something!!
Lost the Potter: Hang on...
Brains and brawn*
Not the brains: Would you care if I'm gay? Not the brawn: Of course not
Not the brains: Cool, thanks
Not the brawn: ??
Not the brawn: Prongs do you have something to tell me? Not the brawn: Uh Prongs??????
Idiots in arms*
Lost the Potter: He wouldn't care
Lost the Potter: *screenshot attached*
Siriusly mad: Thnks
Lost the Potter: No problem. You know none of our friends are going to treat you any differently if you tell them you're bi right? They're good people or I wouldn't let them hang out
Siriusly mad: Just not ready yet
Lost the Potter: Hey, no pressure from me to do so. I just want you to know you're surrounded by
good people
Sirius let his phone drop beside him. He knew his friends wouldn't hate him for this. Well, he was mostly sure they wouldn't. But it was hard to say 'oh hey I figured out I like cock' after knowing everyone for so long. It's not like Dorcus who told them when she was 12, or even Marlene who had a big realisation at 15. How was he meant to tell them that despite always laughing when anyone even came close to suggesting he was anything but straight... he, well, he wasn't.
At first, he couldn't tell anyone for fear of what his mum would do. Then he'd had a girlfriend, so it seemed pointless to say anything. And then he just didn't want to be treated differently. He'd
made so many jokes about being an awful straight cis man, it was practically his brand. He was the guy all the other men happily hugged, shared a blanket with on movie nights, or crashed in bed next to him after a party. Okay, they also did those things with James, but the difference was he actually was straight.
All he could think of was how everyone would feel like he'd tricked them or be concerned he liked them. It had been James' first question when he'd told him. The idiot should know Sirius thought of him like a brother, but he'd still asked if he was telling him he liked him. It wasn't as if he wanted all his friends just because he was bi. No, he only wanted Remus, which was even worse. What if Remus asked him that same question? How was he meant to lie to his friend of 18 years? Or worse, how was he meant to tell him the truth? 'Oh yeah, I've been in love with you since we were 21' because that would go down oh so well.
Chapter 2
Several hours later a knock sounded on Sirius' door. "Pads can I come in?"
Sirius froze beneath his mountain of blankets. Fuck. Now Remus wanted to talk, and he hadn't even put clothes on yet after the shower; instead spending hours hiding and thinking of how he'd got himself into this mess. What was worse, to say no and potentially annoy Remus further or have a conversation that might end up with him moving out, whilst in the buff? While Sirius pondered this Remus clearly got impatient because the next thing he heard was a huff and the door opening.
"Learnt to knock now did we?" Sirius said petulantly "It doesn't count if you still walk in anyway."
"Uh, yeah sorry about that... I didn't think you were home."
"And I didn't think you'd be back until tomorrow."
"Got through the research quicker than anticipated. Listen, I'm really sorry. I only saw-"
"It's fine!" Sirius quickly cut him off. He really didn't want to hear Remus keep talking about it. He could feel a familiar blush taking over his face and spreading down his chest.
"It's clearly not fine" Remus said gently, walking over and sitting down on the edge of the bed. "If it was fine you wouldn't be in here hiding."
"'M not hiding" Sirius grumbled into his pillow. He should have said no to Remus coming in, because he was now hyper aware he was naked with Remus on his bed.
"You've got all nine of your blankets on top of you and you only do that when sulking or having a panic attack." His soft voice was accompanied by a hand gently stroking Sirius' back through the mountain of blankets. Merlin, how was Sirius supposed to handle this. "You don't need to freak out. I'm not going to tell anyone, and I'm sure loads of straight blokes um... experiment with what they like when wankin-"
Blimey Remus was pants at this and he didn't seem to be shutting up anytime soon. Sirius took a deep breath and cut in "I'm not".
"Oh um, right, sorry. So, you know what you like. Again, I'm not going to tell anyone, and it doesn't make you any less straight."
Sirius squawked out a laugh at that and couldn't resist poking his head out of the blankets. Looking at Remus incredulously he asked "Liking a cock up your arse doesn't make you any less straight? Merlin I don't know what world you live in but even I'm not far enough in the closet to think that! I know I like men you twat."
Remus laughed at that, the tension leaving his shoulders "Okay, so you're not having a sexual identity crisis?"
"No, more of a I'm not out and my roommate just caught me... wait you thought the best way to deal with a crisis was to convince me I'm straight?!"
"Oi! It's not exactly like they make a guide for this, and it helped me not freak out as badly when I was figuring out I was pan."
Sirius froze, eyes rounding. "You're pan?"
"How do you not know this? I literally went to pride with Dorcus and Marlene last year in a pan pride jumper."
"The ugly colour blocked 90s jumper?!" He supposed it was pan colours but it was so hideous he could surely be excused for not picking up on that. Besides... "You've only had girlfriends."
Remus' smile dropped. "And you've only had girlfriends. Doesn't make you any less..." He floundered for a moment.
"Bisexual." Sirius supplied "I'm bi".
"Well, there you go. Just because I've had girlfriends doesn't mean shit. It doesn't mean I'm not attracted to men, or nonbinary people, or haven't slept with anyone else. And even if I hadn't it wouldn't make me any less pan. Past behaviour doesn't dictate your attraction" It seemed like a well-rehearsed speech, but Sirius was still stuck on the fact Remus had slept with men. "Right well I'm going to go order us some curry and you can stop freaking out and join me on the couch."
As Remus got up and left, Sirius could help glancing at his arse. Fuck he was hard again.
Chapter 3
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Remus sank down into the couch with a sigh. This was not how he'd imagined his night going. The image of Sirius' arched back flittered through his thoughts and he shook his head, trying to dislodge the thought. He'd been lying when he'd tried to comfort Sirius by saying he hadn't seen much. He'd seen enough. Those thighs. That perfect ass. The way the toy had stretched him so perfectly. The redness of Sirius' lip when he'd looked over his shoulder; as if he'd just been biting it. The way his silver eyes has been blown with lust before they turned to horror. Fuck, he thought, rubbing a hand over his face. Sirius hadn't meant for Remus to see any of that, and the sooner he forgot it the better.
He wasn't proud of how hard it'd made him, it felt dirty to have enjoyed seeing something that clearly upset his friend. He'd rushed from the bathroom to his room, shoving a hand down his pants. It'd only taken a couple of strokes before he had cum, and guilt had flooded through him. He'd then spent the next couple of hours trying to figure out how to fix the whole situation, eventually realising Sirius still hadn't emerged from his room and wasn't going to. Sirius was obviously having a panic attack about the whole thing and if he was any kind of friend, he'd need to sort this mess out. So, he'd awkwardly made his way to Sirius' room, and then had that mortifying conversation.
As he ordered paneer tikka masala on his phone, he comforted himself with the thought it was only a natural reaction. Anyone would've been turned on by that sight. Sirius was an attractive man and what he'd been doing might as well have been straight out of a porno. Except, not everyone had wanted to snog Sirius since they were 17. Okay, a lot of people wanted to snog Sirius. The difference was none of those people were his best friend, or roommate. Remus groaned. He was completely and utterly fucked. Guilt washed through him again. Sirius hadn't meant for him to see that, he didn't like Remus like that, and he hadn't even wanted Remus to know he liked men.
Superheroes*
Wolfboy: Please tell me you're having a worse day than me
Flowergirl: I ran out of milk today and only realised after I'd poured out my cereal. Top that!
Wolfboy: Whilst that is truly tragic I think mine might be worse
Flowergirl: Ooooh! Spill the horrors then
Wolfboy: I really can't without betraying other people but let's just say I apparently need a lesson in how to deal with other people's crisis's
Flowergirl: Well we already knew that But you do try your best and I love you for it Wolfboy: Unrelated note but do people still think I'm straight?
Flowergirl: I guess strangers might? But who gives a toss what they think right!
Flowergirl: Did something happen?
Wolfboy: I just thought I'd made it pretty obvious without having to do the whole verbally stating
my identity part but a friend seemed surprised today
Wolfboy: Heteronormativity is a bitch
Flowergirl: Ooooh talk nerdy to me baby!
Wolfboy: I don't think queer theory counts as nerdy to be honest Flowergirl: A PHD IN IT DOES!!
Wolfboy: Ah yes my thesis is now known as heteronormativity is a bitch
Flowergirl: Haha I'd read it
Wolfboy: Talk later my deliveroo is here
Flowergirl: Okay! Don't forget movie night tomorrow!! We need to do at yours because Marls has a date
Idiots in arms*
Siriusly mad: I told him im bi
Lost the Potter: Wow, way to go mate! I know that can't have been easy but I'm proud of you
Siriusly mad: Mm he seemed ok
Siriusly mad: Still dont want to tell everyone
Lost the Potter: That's your decision to make. You know if you need me there as support when you decide to, I will be
Siriusly mad: Want to come stay and be a buffer?
Lost the Potter: Currently at mums, remember? I can leave first thing though and be there midday Siriusly mad: Shit I forgot! U dont have to come back im fine
Lost the Potter: Nah, I miss you anyway. I don't know what your plans are for tomorrow but mine involve a lot of beer with my brother Make sure your sheets are clean because I'll be crashing at yours
Siriusly mad: They were dirty ONE time!! Chapter End Notes
Thanks for reading! As always feedback is welcome.
Chapter 4
Sirius moaned, pushing back against the muscled body behind him. He was achingly hard and wanted to be filled. The man's hand came up to stroke his cheek and jaw, sliding down his neck and coming to rest around his throat. The slight pressure was perfect, and he couldn't stop himself from begging to be fucked.
"Please, Remus. I'm ready. Please." He panted, knowing instinctively who the man behind him was.
Remus responded by leaning in close to his ear, opening his mouth and emitting a BRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNGH.
Sirius shot upwards, the pile of blankets falling to the floor. Fuck, where was his phone and why did his alarm have to go off during the most perfect dream. Why had he even set an alarm? He'd stayed up late watching The Office and eating curry and awkwardly trying to pretend things were normal with Remus. Locating his phone, he saw a text from James announcing he was almost there. Right, that was why. After yesterday's experience, he'd thought it was best to ensure he was up and dressed before James got there. A decision he was now regretting as his bed continued to call to him. Begrudgingly Sirius got up and found a clean shirt to wear and slipped into the grey sweats he found on the floor. Just because he had to be up didn't mean he couldn't be comfy.
"Ah, sleeping beauty finally awakes" Remus chuckled from the dining table as Sirius stumbled into their kitchen. He was bent over his laptop, presumably working on his thesis. Merlin, how did Remus manage to look so good even hunched over their table? His strong hands typing away, as the light coming through the window highlighted his soft tawny curls.
"I think you'll find she had the pleasure of waking to a kiss and unless there's someone exceptionally good at hiding in my room, I don't think that's on the agenda for today. Nice to know you finally recognise the beauty that I am though."
"Given how messy the pigsty you call a room is, I wouldn't be surprised if there was someone hiding in there." Remus easily quipped back, ignoring any reference to Sirius' looks as per usual.
Sirius sighed and started making a coffee. It wasn't as though he minded Remus poking fun, but it was just serving to highlight how unlikely it would ever be that Remus would go for someone like him. Where Sirius was messy, loud, and chaotic, Remus was quiet, organised and clever. Remus was like some sort of organisational angel sent from heaven to help Sirius be a functioning adult. He was always noting when they ran out of milk, adding things to the grocery list on their fridge, reminding Sirius when their rent was due, even reminding Sirius when he'd forgotten he'd hung washing out. In short, Remus was a perfectly capable adult whilst Sirius was a disaster. A click of the door opening reminded Sirius of James' visit.
"Oh by the way James is coming to stay for a – oof" Sirius was cut off by James tackling him with a hug, which quickly devolved into a cross between a wrestling match and attack on his personal grooming. James pinching at Sirius' sweats, commenting he'd let himself go, followed by ruffling his hair and saying he needed a haircut. All comments delivered with James' characteristic grin, showing he didn't really mean it. A friendly hello aimed at Remus whilst Sirius was caught in a headlock.
"Right, where's your fruit bowl?" James finally asked, stepping back from Sirius to pick up a large canvas bag from the floor. Sirius wasn't surprised. Honestly it wouldn't be a visit from James if he
didn't bring a bunch of random healthy food. It'd only gotten worse since he'd moved out of the city.
"Oh good, we won't get scurvy this year." Remus wryly commented, still focused on his laptop, causing James to snort.
"Wouldn't be surprised if you did, given how your pantry looked last time I was here. You lot are worse than a couple of preteens left alone for a weekend. I mean honestly, sweets for breakfast?"
"Mmm. Speaking of sweets" Remus noted, finally looking up from his laptop "Mary and Lily are coming over tonight to watch a movie. You two are welcome to join if you want."
James' eyes lit up. He'd been hung up on Lily since school. "Right. Well, we might as well invite Wormy over too in that case."
Sirius shot him a look. The man was meant to be here acting as a buffer and it was already clear he was instead going to be focused on Lily, and it was common knowledge Peter was into Mary. Sighing he drained his coffee and mumbled he was off for a shower. Turning around he didn't even notice Remus' blush at this comment.
Chapter 5
"No one wants your cucumber and humus" Sirius muttered as he waited for the popcorn to finish popping. James was as usual making completely unappetising snacks in Sirius' opinion. The two were getting food and drinks ready in the kitchen whilst the others selected a movie to watch.
"It's baba ghanoush and it's bloody delicious you knob" James easily replied, arranging the cucumber alongside the carrot sticks on the platter.
"Takes one to know one" Sirius replied, transferring the popcorn to a bowl and making his way to the lounge.
Walking in he saw Lily, Remus, and Mary lounging on their three-seater, deep in a debate about which movie was better, Ratatouille or Stewart Little. Peter watched amused from the bean bag, having clearly staked his claim earlier. Remus glanced up at the gentle thump of the popcorn being placed on the table and decidedly said "Fine, go with Ratatouille you philistines, I'm grabbing the blankets" getting up and making his way down the hallway.
At that moment James came in balancing a tray of healthy snacks, a tower of cups, and a jug of juice. Spotting the empty spot between Lily and Mary, he quickly placed them on the table and flopped down. Lily rolled her eyes and shuffled further over towards the armrest, before reaching forward and taking a carrot stick. Great, so it'd be him and Remus on the two-seater. Some buffer James was, Sirius thought, making a mental note to tell him what a useless potato he was later.
As this was happening Sirius was vaguely aware of Mary and Peter exchanging a quick whispered conversation and giggling.
Returning to the lounge Remus looked over at James and raised his eyebrows, before throwing the large woolen blanket at him. He gave Peter one covered in a mouse print, keeping a small red one as he settled in next to Sirius. Looking up at the screen a devious smile passed over his face.
"Decided on a movie then guys? You sure you're not too scared to watch this one Prongs?"
Peter sniggered and looked over at James who finally looked at the screen. Blanching, he glanced back at Lily before saying "Uhh, nope. You know me, I love horrors."
Peter's snigger turned into a full-on giggle which he hastily turned into a coughing fit at James' pointed look. Sirius smiled, maybe having James sit next to Lily wasn't the worst thing after all. He always did enjoy watching James absolutely shit himself over these paranormal horrors. He quickly added another mental note to high five Peter later for the stroke of genius.
Sure enough, as the film progressed James got progressively jumpier, eventually squeaking as his whole body jumped as the blanket on screen lifted by itself. Lily, evidently annoyed with almost being elbowed in the face during this, took his arm and pulled it towards her, causing James to fall sideways into her shoulder, his arm effectively trapped between them. James' reaction was comical, with his fear morphing into a look of shock, staring first at Lily and then forward eyes unfocused. The physical contact with his crush clearly causing James exec. to stop functioning.
Sirius quickly covered his mouth to stop himself laughing and looking over to Remus saw the other man was clearly having the same trouble. Remus glanced at Sirius, their eyes meeting and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, before leaning forward and grabbing more popcorn.
As Remus returned to the couch, he shifted and leaned his head against Sirius' shoulder, wriggling
to get comfy. Sirius tensed for a moment before relaxing, a sense of relief flooding through him. Remus clearly didn't think differently of him and was just as happy to snuggle up as before the incident. He still had his best friend. Smiling down at Remus' head, Sirius carefully moved his arm to drape over the man's shoulders. Remus made a pleased sound in the back of his throat that sent jolts of arousal to Sirius' dick.
If anyone was to ask Sirius what happened in the movie from that point on, he honestly wouldn't have been able to tell them.
Chapter 6
Lying in bed, Remus considered the events of the evening. He could have sworn James had come out to him over text the other day but given the way he'd been looking at Lily it looked like he was still as gone on her as he had been in school. Bringing up his messages he looked through their conversation. No, that definitely looked like he was saying something. Did it really matter? Actually, yeah it did. Lily was one of his best friends and she'd looked pretty happy with James snuggled up on her.
Superheroes*
Wolfboy: You and James looked awfully cosy tonight
Flowergirl: Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you and Sirius
Wolfboy: Yes but I have been regularly cuddling my FRIEND Sirius for years. I distinctly remember you telling me you wouldn't touch James if your life depended on it. Something changed?
Flowergirl: I guess he's just grown up a lot?? I don't know. He's cute but he lives in Glasgow so it's not like anything will happen
Wolfboy: That's fair
Flowergirl: He makes a great baba ganoush though
Wolfboy: I should have known. All it takes to win you over after all this time is a mashed eggplant
Flowergirl: I'll accept any decent eggplant
Flowergirl: And don't think I don't notice you checking out your *friends* bum. I think you want that eggplant
Wolfboy: I am not having this conversation
Brains and brawn*
Not the brawn: I apologise in advance if this is idiotic
Not the brains: Noooo Moony! You were meant to be the smart one in this friendship! I can't carry
the mental load along with the physical one of being the hunk in this duo
Not the brawn: Just because you're the fittest doesn't mean you're the fittest in that sense
Not the brains: Oh merlin, it's already happening. You've become dumb enough not to realise I am the best looking of all of us!
Not the brawn: You aren't even the hottest one in your family Prongs
Not the brains: ... are you after my mum or my dad? Because either way the answer is they're taken and yes that was a dumb question
Not the brawn: Your dad is pretty cute but no
Not the brawn: I wanted to know if you're gay
Not the brains: Hang on I need to stop laughing
Not the brawn: I can hear you through the wall asshole. It's not that funny Not the brains: Yes, it is, and I'm about as gay as you are
Not the brawn: James. I'm literally pansexual. I also just called your dad cute
Not the brains: Okay, less gay than you are apparently. Sorry, didn't realise
Not the brawn: I'm starting to get offended by how many people think I'm straight
Not the brawn: And you texted me asking if I'd care if you were gay! So don't think about making a comment about me assuming your sexuality
Not the brains: Oh right, yeah that was more of a hypothetical Not the brawn: For Pads?
Not the brains: There's the brains I love you for
Chapter 7
Over the next few days Peter popped in regularly between his shifts at the hospital, and with all four of them hanging out it often felt like they were back in school. Sirius had missed this. The dynamic of the four of them was one he hadn't experienced with any other group, and he thought he was unlikely to in the future. Peters' kindness, sprinkled with moments of pure innocence and/or stupidity. James' caring and bossiness interspersed with random bouts of wrestling. Remus' quiet quips and moments of pure deviousness. All three compliments Sirius' personality in a way he couldn't quite put his finger on. When the four were together everything felt easy and right. It was because of this he'd started thinking he should tell Peter too.
"I've been thinking of coming out to Wormy" Sirius said quietly, as James lowered himself down onto the bed for the night.
"Yeah?" James yawned. "He'll be all good. Not one to judge our Wormtail. Got a plan?"
"I don't know, I was thinking of just texting him to be honest. I can't imagine telling him with you and Remus there, and he'll probably get the wrong idea if I invite him out for coffee and then tell him."
James snorted and nodded his head. Reaching over to the bedside table he grabbed Sirius' phone and passed it over, giving an encouraging smile. Right, of course James had taken that as him wanting to do it right this second. He supposed he might as well, it's not like it'd be any less awkward later.
Unexpected cat lovers*
Star: Cheers again for the cookies tonight. I think Prongs is trying to kill us with healthfood
Petros: No problem mate. You know you can always count on me for baked goods
Star: One of the many reasons you're a great friend
Star: I wanted to talk to you about something but feels weird saying it whilst we're all hanging
Petros: Oh no. Don't tell me the cookies were actually shit! I spent ages perfecting that recipe and I just sent it to gran
Star: No, they were great
Star: I'm bi
Petros: Makes sense
Star: What do you mean by that?
Petros: Oh nothing bad. Just I'm 90% sure James is the only straight one of our friends now Petros: Makes sense all of us would have flocked together you know
Star: I'm sorry but WHAT
Petros: Oh yeah I'm demi
Petros: You know Remus is pan his profile picture literally has the pan flag as the border
Petros: Marls and Dorcus are gay
Petros: And I can't really speak on anyone else's labels but given their dating history I assume they're part of the alphabet mafia
Petros: Are you there?
Star: Yeah sorry just processing
Putting his phone down on his chest, Sirius stared at the ceiling. How unobservant was he? Did James know about everyone? Looking to the side he could see James was already asleep and he probably shouldn't wake him just to ask. Given how he'd feel about people talking about his sexuality he probably shouldn't anyway.
Sirius tried to settle down to sleep but his thoughts were too loud. With so many of his friends being queer surely no one would care about him. He'd already told all of the men who were closest to him and held the biggest risk of changing their behaviour. The women who snuggled up to him or shared his bed after a night out already knew he liked women if they thought he was straight, so presumably they wouldn't act any differently either. No one had thought he'd been lying or been upset with him. Was he paranoid for nothing? Was this yet another fucked up response to the abuse from his family? It was so hard to differentiate between what were genuine risks for losing people and what weren't. He hated that about himself, and he hated how it shaped his life.
A quiet thought that kept returning throughout the night was that maybe he was wrong about Remus too. Maybe he wouldn't hate him if he found out Sirius wanted him. Maybe he'd just let him down gently or maybe... just maybe he'd want him back.
At 3am Sirius finally managed to sleep, after promising himself he'd find a way to gauge what Remus' reaction would be.
Chapter 8
Two days later Sirius was silently regretting his plan. It was 6am and he was willingly up and getting ready to go on a run with James. As he pulled on the shortest pair of shorts he owned, he sent a silent thanks that he was doing this on James' last day there; at least he wouldn't have to this again.
Merlin how did James willingly do this every day. Sirius could feel his pulse in his teeth it was that strong. And the bastard had the audacity to try and hold a conversation with Sirius whilst they ran! James was clearly a mad man, and someone really ought to break the news to their parents. At this point the only thing keeping him going was the anticipation of Remus' reaction. Sirius knew he looked good after working out. Like he'd just had sex.
As they entered the apartment Sirius took a moment to check himself out in the entryway mirror and decided to let his hair down from the ponytail. Walking into the kitchen running his hand through his hair, Sirius grinned at Remus "Oh, so sleeping beauty has finally woken" he quipped, throwing Remus' words back at him.
"Considering I'm the one always up first making breakfast I'd say I'm more of a Cinderell-" Remus trailed off, mouth slightly open as his eyes took in Sirius' appearance.
"If we're picking which princesses we are, I bags Jasmine" James declared, drawing Remus' gaze to where he was stretching.
Impulsively Sirius took his shirt off, balling it up and throwing it at James' face as he replied "Obviously you're Ariel. Saw Lily once and became obsessed with her. I'm surprised you haven't moved back to be closer!"
James looked up offended "You know when I move back it'll be to start my own publishing company you arse. I'm going to go shower."
"Think I struck a nerve" Sirius mused, flopping down into the chair opposite Remus. He noted Remus' eyes hadn't left Sirius' chest. He stretched his arms, tensing his stomach lightly and watched as Remus' focus shifted downwards to his abs. Smiling to himself, he mentally noted the experiment as a success, Remus definitely had at least some interest in Sirius' body. Now he just needed to ensure Remus associated this image with sex.
"Don't think I'll keep up this running business. I feel like I've been fucked five ways to Sunday without any of the fun release."
Remus made a choked sound and looked back down at his coffee, his cheeks turning red.
"No need to be embarrassed Moony. As one of the only people to see me get fucked by something, you're part of a special club who don't get to be shy when I say these things." It was a risk bringing up the shower incident, but Sirius knew it was one he needed to make.
"Oh, so there's a club?" Remus asked looking up and finally making eye contact with Sirius.
"Don't worry Moonbeam, it's very exclusive" Sirius allowed himself to smile at Remus for a couple of seconds before getting up and leaving for his bedroom, trusting the small shorts to allow him a memorable exit.
Chapter 9
Sirius allowed himself to relive their conversation as he showered. He ran a hand over his chest as he remembered the way Remus had looked at his body, his amber eyes devouring him. Sliding his hand lower as he thought about the hunger he could swear he'd seen.
Merlin, what would Remus have done if Sirius had pushed it further. If he'd stood and dropped his shorts too, walking over to him and running his hands through those curls. He bit his lip as his cock twitched at the mental image. He would have pulled Remus' face closer to him and told him he was allowed to touch, allowed to taste. How would he look with those perfect plump lips wrapped around Sirius? He was stroking himself now, his other hand toying with a nipple. Would Remus be as quiet as he was during the rest of his life, or would he finally let go. He could imagine Remus pulling back and begging Sirius to fuck his face. His hand left his chest, now bracing him against the wall as he fucked into his fist in earnest. Remus would look so good on his knees, taking everything Sirius gave. Another image flashed before his eyes, Remus' face covered in his cum, marked up and his. He couldn't stop the loud groan that escaped him as he came.
Resting his head against the shower wall as he came back down to earth, Sirius couldn't help but smile. He was so gone on Remus, and he was going to pursue this, he really was mental. He needed to smart about this though. He needed to ensure that Remus not only wanted him physically but wanted to take this further than friendship.
Getting dressed, Sirius decided on his plan of attack. He needed to ensure he reminded Remus of just what he was missing physically, whilst showing what a great boyfriend he'd be. He was going to be so sexy and sweet Remus wouldn't be able to resist. The former coming easily, the latter though he could use some tips probably, and he knew just who to ask.
Marley and Me*
Marley the dog: I'm calling in that favour
Marls: I just painted my toenails I am not helping you bury a body
Marley the dog: Good thing I just want tips on wooing someone
Marls: I'm sorry I must have misunderstood
Marls: Because it sounded like the biggest slut I know just asked for help on seducing someone Marley the dog: Wooing not seducing. I can get laid by myself thank you very much
Marls: Who's the lucky lady?
Marley the dog: Who says it's a lady
Marls: So you're asking your lesbian friend how to woo a man?
Marley the dog: Is it really that different?
Marls: I don't know tbh
Marls: Show them you care about their opinions, make them laugh, same flirting as with someone you want to sleep with (play with your hair, touch them), buy them a present, bring them flowers, ask them out?
Marley the dog: You just give flowers to people you have crushes on?
Marls: Well get to know them first and maybe take them out to dinner
Marley the dog: Okay I'm not sure this counts as the favour. You're shit at this Marls: Better than you are apparently
Sirius sighed. He guessed he could work with those examples. He already was close to Remus and regularly made him laugh. He'd just have to show he cared about his opinion, flirt with him, and buy him something. That couldn't be too hard to do, right?
Chapter 10
Seeing James off later that day was bittersweet. He missed his brother and the past week had been a reprieve from the world, but he knew he had much better chances of success with Remus without him constantly interrupting.
"I'm covering a shift for Marlene tomorrow morning but should be done by midday, if you'd like to grab lunch?" Sirius asked, trying for nonchalance.
"I thought the whole idea of buying the café was that you didn't work anymore?" Remus smirked "Or has the life of the bourgeois stopped being fun?"
"The idea was I don't have to get up every day at six, Moon-pie. And trust me when I say I have plenty of fun". Teasing Remus back was second nature, and he loved these conversations usually, but he couldn't help the squirm of unease in his stomach as he waited for Remus to confirm if he wanted to get lunch. His plan relied on it.
"My treat" he added, hoping it was an enticing enough offer. "Sure, why not. Anywhere specific in mind?"
"It's a surprise, just meet me at the café."
Sirius spent a lot longer than normal getting ready for his shift the next morning. He needed to look good enough for Remus, but not out of place at the café, and he really didn't want to overdress and make Remus feel awkward. Eventually after trying on what felt like half his wardrobe, he settled on a pair of dark tight jeans and a black and silver flannel, open over a tight black v-neck. It was casual but he knew his body looked good.
His shift passed quickly and before he knew it midday had arrived, and he looked up to see Remus walking into the café looking gorgeous in ripped jeans and a forest green sweater that made his eyes look even brighter.
"Right, Stephanie that's me for the day" Sirius called out, taking off his apron "This gorgeous young man is here to steal me away."
Remus blushed and ducked his head. "Idiot" he muttered as Sirius joined him "She'll think we're dating."
"Now Moons, why would I ever be upset if someone made that mistake?" Looking at Remus he pulled his best shocked face "Unless you're suggesting I should be embarrassed people would think I like men!"
A small frown appeared on Remus' face before he shook his head and changed the subject, asking where they were going, and following Sirius down the street.
"Okay, so it only opened last week but I've heard good things about it online..." Sirius cautiously said as he came to a stop a few blocks away. He looked on nervously as Remus took it in, looking at the window with the name 'Dykes and Dragons' proudly displayed. The multitude of different pride flags visible inside the board game café.
"Looking to lose at Wingspan again?" Remus finally said, looking at Sirius with a smile.
"Or we could play something we don't have at home" Sirius laughed, walking through the door.
"All I'm hearing is that you're scared of losing again"
Oh, it was definitely on! He was going to wipe the floor with Remus.
After ordering some sandwiches and coffees, Sirius joined Remus who was setting up a game of Codenames. "I thought this game was for larger groups?"
"Mm.. they've got a two-player version" Remus replied, shuffling the cards before laying them down in a grid. "I thought it might be fun to play something we're trying to win together."
"Mutual satisfaction always was my favourite" Sirius offered, biting his lip as Remus met his eyes.
Chapter 11
Remus and Sirius had just started playing when a waiter came over and placed their food down, the napkin under Sirius' coffee having a name and number scrawled in red ink. Sirius noticing it and taking a double look at the waiter, started furrowing his brows.
"No need to act surprised" Remus commented as he took a sip of his Mocha.
"It's a bit rude though, isn't it?" Sirius didn't know whether Remus' blasé attitude should be taken as a hint he didn't care if Sirius went out with the man (and thus wasn't interested in him) or if it was just an extension of his quiet laid-back approach to most things in life. He knew he'd be miffed if someone hit on Remus in front of him.
"Just be quiet and enjoy the chocolate it scored you" Remus nodded at Sirius' drink. Sure enough, there was a chocolate in the shape of a heart next to it. Sirius had been so focused on the audacity of the number he hadn't even paid attention to it. Decidedly he picked up the chocolate and held it out for Remus, who smiled and took it.
"Alright, I think you've made your point. He'll leave you alone." Remus looked smug as he ate the treat, and then licked the melted chocolate of his thumb. Sirius' pants felt awfully tight watching that. It ought to be illegal to look like that in public.
Moving his legs to adjust himself he felt his foot hit against Remus'. Watching Remus' face for a hint of discomfort he made a snap decision and hooked his other foot behind Remus', tangling his feet around his. Remus paused and looked at Sirius, quirking an eyebrow before looking back at the game and giving a clue.
The next hour sped by, with both men wrapped up in the game. It came as a surprise when the same waiter came over, looking awkward and asked if they wanted to purchase another hour. Deciding they'd played long enough for the day the two packed up, Remus flashing the waiter a friendly smile as they left.
"Do you think I was too harsh?" Sirius questioned, noticing the friendly gesture from Remus.
"You certainly sent the message you were taken" Remus laughed "I'd loath to be the man approaching you."
Noticing Sirius' frown, Remus nudged him with his shoulder "Don't worry, pretending you're with someone else isn't the worst way to let someone down".
Sirius thought on that as they walked down the street. Remus didn't see the lunch as anything. He needed to up his game.
"Want to go see that new horror this weekend?"
Idiots in arms*
Siriusly mad: Am I too mean?
Lost the Potter: I leave for one day, and you're already worried people don't like you?
Siriusly mad: No, you idiot. I'm always worried people don't like me
Siriusly mad: But am I too mean to strangers
Lost the Potter: You're a bitch but you're my bitch. Why?
Siriusly mad: I was out with Remus and someone hit on me. Made it clear I was with Remus and he said he'd hate to be the one approaching me?
Lost the Potter: Clear you were with Remus? With Remus? Or With with Remus? Siriusly mad: Does it matter?
Lost the Potter: OMG ASDFGHJKL
Lost the Potter: DOES IT MATTER HE ASKS!!!
Incoming call: Lost the Potter*
"Hey it's not-"
"OH MY FUCKING GOD! TELL ME EVERYTHING!!"
"Stop screaming! There's nothing to tell"
"Sorry... hang on, I'm just... DID YOU KISS?"
"No. We aren't dating and you're being weird. I'm hanging up now."
Idiots in arms*
Lost the Potter: Sorry, I just got excited at the idea
Siriusly mad: It's fine. I know you're just trying to be supportive
Chapter 12
Chapter Notes
As promised, an insight into what Remus is thinking.
During the rest of the week Remus regularly questioned whether he was awake. Sirius seemed to be more flirtatious than ever, like something out of a dream... a very good dream, but still.
It wasn't like Sirius had said he liked Remus or even given any indication he was attracted to him; it was just his general Sirius-ness was on full blast. Sirius had always been a bit of a flirt with everyone, and their comradery was built on playful teasing, so he shouldn't be that surprised. It just hurt a little when he'd like nothing more than for it to be real.
It had started with the games café which made sense. Sirius had not been keen on the waiter and wanted to signal that. But it seemed like Sirius had taken Remus' acceptance of the weird footsie situation and run with it. The next morning their legs had ended up tangled up under the dining table during breakfast, and then again, the next evening during dinner. Sirius had always been tactile though, so really, he wasn't even that surprised. It was a special kind of torture though.
That wasn't nearly as bad as the things Sirius was saying though. Sweet merciful Merlin, the things that came out of Sirius' mouth were enough to drive anyone mad. It felt like every other minute he was making an innuendo. And, okay that was normal it was just the frequency and how graphic the innuendo had gotten was certainly new. Hell, when Peter had joined them out for dinner the other night and offered them a ride home, Sirius had turned around and said he was dying for a ride that'd he'd feel for days. Poor Peter had nearly choked on his ice cream.
None of these things scratched the surface of the unique torture that was Sirius' pet names for him though. He'd rolled his eyes at them and groaned whenever Sirius came out with a particularly sweet one because he knew it was expected, but Circe's tits did they make his knees weak. He found himself frequently having to tell himself Sirius gave everyone nicknames and it was not okay to get butterflies at 29 years old.
In short, Remus was an absolute mess. His crush seemed to have only gotten worse since he found out Sirius was bi, and he hated himself for it. What kind of friend was he if he couldn't even support Sirius coming out without making it about himself?
All of this meant that by the time Saturday came, he had well and truly wound himself up in knots. A feeling that wasn't helped when Sirius came out of his room wearing tight black jeans and a button up which was only half done up, showing off the tattoos on his chest.
"Do I look okay?" Sirius spun in a circle, arm spread, pulling the shirt more open. "You tell me, you're the one who says I have no fashion taste and insults my jumpers"
"You know I care about what you think Moonshine." Sirius pouted. It was unfair how attractive he looked whilst pouting.
"You look good" Remus conceded whilst rolling his eyes "If we leave now, we can grab a drink
beforehand, and I really fucking need one after this week."
Sirius' eye lit up and the corner of his mouth lifted. Remus could already tell where this was going and sure enough... "Feeling tense Moony-bum? Need to find a bit of a release to help you unwind?"
"Yes, copious amounts of alcohol. Come on, we're leaving now." He turned, missing the disappointed look on Sirius' face.
Chapter 13
Sirius was starting to think Marlene had no idea how to woo men, or at least how to woo Remus. He should have asked Mary, she'd at least managed to kiss Remus in school, which was more than he'd managed so far.
He'd taken Remus out, he'd asked his opinion on things he cared about like his clothes, he'd even insisted on buying Remus' drink, and yet...
"That bloke in the corner keeps checking you out" Moony nodded his head to the far corner of the bar.
"That's because I dressed up for you Moon-flower, and I look fantastic" Sirius smirked, gesturing to his outfit. He really had made an effort to look hot tonight.
"And as humble as ever" Remus laughed and finished the rest of his beer. "Is he not your type?"
"Hmm." Sirius considered the man. He was tall and lanky, with slicked back black hair, a sharp jawline and was wearing a football shirt, laughing loudly with his friends. "Nice body but look at what he's wearing, look at his hair, it'd never work. Not my type."
Remus raised his eyebrow and asked "What is your type then if not attractive tall men? Short ugly ones?"
Sirius couldn't help laughing at that. "Attractive tall men who are nerdy obviously." He looked at Remus through his lashes, knowing he looked good like this. Marline had called it his 'let's fuck look' when he'd aimed it at her sister (before promptly hitting him with a cushion for daring to).
Remus blushed and looked down, playing with his watch. His eyes went wide as he saw the time and quickly reminded Sirius to finish his beer so they could make the movie.
As they settled into their seats at the back of the theatre, Sirius couldn't help smiling to himself. He'd picked the seats and suggested this movie with a plan in mind.
As soon as the first scare happened, he gave a little jump, almost so small it wouldn't be noticeable except he knew one of Remus' favourite part of horrors was watching people freak out; something he would usually be joining him in. Sure enough, Remus snorted a little and nudged Sirius, raising an eyebrow. Sirius huffed and rolled his eyes, conveying silently 'no, obviously I wasn't scared'. He'd have to make this believable at first, which meant he needed to look scared, and when Sirius was scared, he always denied it.
When the second scare happened, he jumped a bit more, cowering towards Remus. Remus was looking over with a small smile on his face now, clearly finding his friends reactions amusing. The plan was working.
By the third scare Sirius committed to the plan, his hand grabbing just above Remus' knee and letting out a small squeak. Remus let out a small laugh and to Sirius' surprise put an arm over his shoulders pulling him in protectively. Oh, Sirius thought to himself, well this was unexpected but helped his next step.
With he fourth scare in the movie, Sirius jumped again slightly, moving his hand up Remus' thigh ever so slightly as he buried his face in Remus' side. Remus froze for a moment and then started rubbing Sirius' arm soothingly. Sirius grinned into the side of Remus. Oh yep, this was definitely
working based on the slow tenting of Remus' pants. He squeezed his thigh slightly as he murmured thanks, turning his head to face the screen again.
The next scare brought his hand within an inch of his target, and he may have made his scared noise a bit more sexual than was believable for fear. This was working perfectly, why hadn't he just taken Remus to the cinema earlier? This was great. This was his best idea yet. This was... not going to plan apparently, as Remus suddenly pushed Sirius' hand away and got up muttering about drinking too much coke. What the fuck.
Sirius pulled his knees up to his chest and sulked, watching the grand reveal of the evil mother having been dead all along by himself. A flushed Remus reappearing ten minutes later, just before the film finished.
"Mums huh?" Remus commented as the credits ran "Scariest things out there.".
Chapter 14
Sirius was miserable. Nothing seemed to be working with Remus. The man clearly was attracted to Sirius on some level, but he showed no intention of taking things beyond friendship. Did Remus just not feel that way about him or did he like to take things slower?
Sirius pulled out a notebook and started writing.
Flirt blushes
Take out – café movies
Buy something bought dinner and drinks. complains when I try buy anything else Flowers ??
Marlene's advice had been shit obviously, so it was time to call in an expert. He hated to do it, but he was desperate.
Gossip Girl*
Chuck Bass: I need insight and I need a promise of secrecy
Blair Waldorf: I am at your service and secrecy goes without saying. What do you take me for a gossip?
Chuck Bass: This chat is literally Gossip Girl themed
Blair Waldorf: Point taken. I swear on my hair I won't tell anyone
Chuck Bass: Taking that as permission to shave your head if you tell anyone Blair Waldorf: You wouldn't!
Chuck Bass: I would if you tell anyone this
Blair Waldorf: Ooo so it's juicy...
Chuck Bass: I like Remus
Blair Waldorf: Oh, I thought you had something new
Chuck Bass: Excuse you! This is very new tyvm
Blair Waldorf: I pegged that you were in love with him in school. This is not new.
Chuck Bass: Lol pegged
Blair Waldorf: And as you've just proven not much has changed since school
Chuck Bass: Well speaking of school, you were very close to him...
Blair Waldorf: Would have been weird to date him if I wasn't
Chuck Bass: Yes you lucky bitch how did you achieve that
Blair Waldorf: You don't get to be jealous of me for dating him when we were 15
Chuck Bass: I do and I actually want to know how
Blair Waldorf: Oh babes he asked me out. But he was constantly doing romantic things for me so I'd suggest doing something sweet
Chuck Bass: Like what
Blair Waldorf: If you want romance advice I'd ask Dor. I'm not above admitting I don't have a
romantic bone in body. Probably why me and him never worked out Chuck Bass: Mm nothing to do with you being 15
No milk thanks*
Coffee: Heya
Tea: Hey
Coffee: I've been told you're the go to for this but first I guess I have to do this Coffee: I'm bi
Tea: Welcome to the queer club we have snacks Tea: Wait this means!!
Tea updated the name of the chat to LGBT supremacy*
*Tea updated Coffees nickname to Bee*
Bee: Lol that's my favourite reaction so far
Tea: Had some bad ones? I'm here if you want to talk about it
Bee: Thanks but what I actually need is advice on romantic gestures
