He's My Lover
Remus didn't think anyone was ever going to notice him or fall in love with him, so when Heloise, a Hufflepuff student from their year, had asked him out, he hadn't even known how to react. He had simply stood there, too shocked to say anything. She hadn't taken it too badly, she had only chuckled, and said she'd check back later with him for an answer.
The first thing Remus had done, was tell his friends about what had happened. Because surely they could give him advice on what to say to her. But when they had started giving advice on what to do for a first date, he had quickly stopped them. Because that's not what he had meant. He wanted to know how he could let her down gently. Because the last thing he was interested in, was going out with Heloise, lovely as she was.
He had followed his friends' advice, and he had told her how flattered he was, but that he thought they'd be better off as friends. Not that they had spoken a word to each other before that day. But he figured it would be the right thing to say.
Heloise didn't seem to take the hint that Remus had no interest in her whatsoever, because she kept coming over to him to talk, he would catch her staring at him in the Great Hall, and as soon as he got up, she would follow him out. He could hear her, always a few steps behind him, but he had tried his best to ignore her, hoping she would get bored and move on.
But it didn't look like she was going to give up any time soon, so one day James had suggested Remus would start dating someone else, just to get rid of her. It had only been a joke, because they all knew that Remus would never do such a thing. He would sooner date Heloise than use someone just to hurt her feelings.
But Sirius had come up with – what he thought – would be the perfect solution.
"Wait, so you want me to pretend…," Remus laughs, not even able to say the rest of his words.
"I'm not sure whether I should be offended at your reaction or not," Sirius says, nudging him in the leg. "I'm not a bad boyfriend, you know?!"
"Tell him that his idea is absolutely ridiculous," Remus laughs, but when he looks over to James and Lily, he can tell that they are actually considering his idea. "I am not… come on!"
"It's not a bad idea." Lily shrugs. "Maybe it'll get Heloise to back off, and this is Sirius we're talking about… there will be no feelings involved, no one will get hurt…"
"I'll even hold your hand." Sirius grins, before crashing into Remus, and wrapping his arms around. "And if you're good, there might even be a kiss in it for you."
"Fuck off, Pads," Remus laughs, but he lets himself be pulled into his friend's chest, and when he feels him kissing the top of his head, he can't suppress a chuckle.
"See!" James motions with his hands at the two of them. "Perfectly believable already."
"This is ridiculous." Remus rolls his eyes, when Sirius tries to grab his hand the next morning, as they make their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. "No one is going to believe that we're…"
"Lovers?" Sirius grins, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Use that word one more time, and I swear…" Remus begins, but Sirius ignores him, and he grabs his hand, a big grin on his face. "So stupid… She's going to know that we're faking it."
"Somehow I very much doubt that." Lily smiles, sharing a knowing look with her boyfriend. "It wouldn't be the weirdest thing, would it? If you two ended up…"
"Lovers," Sirius purrs into Remus' ear, resulting in him getting punched in the arm. "Damn, Moony! That's abuse. You all saw that, didn't you?"
"Yeah… I think I might take up Heloise's offer of a date after all." Remus rolls his eyes, but when he sees the big, mischievous grin on his friend's face, he can't help but laugh. "You're an idiot."
"Love you, too."
"Ugh, just get a room already," James laughs. "Ready to have everyone know about your new relationship status?"
"Of course." Sirius grins. "I'm ready for the whole world to know that me and Remus here are…"
"Don't. Fucking. Say it."
Remus had been too nervous to eat a thing, because he could feel Heloise's eyes burning a hole into the back of his head. Sirius' teasing, his friend' jokes, and his fellow-Gryffindors peeking glances at him and Sirius didn't help the matter either.
"Remus?" Heloise asks, just as he is about to leave the Great Hall. "Do you have a minute?"
They step outside, where its quieter, but Remus doesn't have anything to tell her, so he just stares at her, waiting for her to start talking.
"I ehm…," she begins, fumbling nervously with the sleeve of her jumper. "I noticed that you and Sirius were holding hands when you came in."
"We were." Remus nods, his cheeks flushing pink, still not convinced this was the right thing to do.
"Are you ehm…"
"I have to go," he says, but she grabs his arm, a nervous look on her face. All Remus wants to do is walk away from this conversation and avoid having to explain things to her, but he knows he owes her some kind of explanation, even if what he is about to tell her is a lie.
"Is he your boyfriend?" Heloise asks, keeping her voice down.
"He is." Remus nods, a nervous fluttering in his stomach as he says the words.
"Gosh," Heloise chuckles. "I wish I'd had seen it sooner. I can't believe I…"
"I'm sorry."
"No, I am sorry. When you said you wanted to be friends… I thought that if I…," she tries, but then she sighs. "I'm sorry, Remus. Gosh, you must think I'm a right idiot for following you around like that!"
"Not at all!" Remus quickly says, feeling terrible for lying to her. "I'm just… with Sirius."
"Lucky him," Heloise chuckles, an embarrassed look on her face. "I hope it all works out for you. And I'm sorry… about the whole…"
"Don't!" Remus quickly says, flashing an uncomfortable smile. "It's fine. We're all good. But I should go now," he adds, feeling smaller with every second longer that this conversation lasts.
"What did you tell her?" Sirius asks, when he sits down at the table next to Remus. "Did you tell her about our little…" He wiggles his eyebrows, but when he sees the look on his friend's face, he quickly turns serious. "What did she say?"
"I hate that I lied to her," Remus sighs. "I shouldn't have done that."
"Maybe if she had taken no for an answer, you wouldn't have had to lie to her." Sirius shrugs. "Maybe this will work."
"And if it doesn't?"
"We could always add James to the mix," Sirius teases, a small smile forming on Remus' lips. "It'll work, okay? She'll leave you alone, and you can… well, go on not dating anyone."
"Technically he is now dating you," James adds, leaning into their tables. "You can't stop pretending now, or she's going to know you were lying. You'll have to keep pretending for at least…"
"The rest of the year?" Lily suggests, a mischievous smile on her face.
"Exactly," James laughs. "The rest of the year, to make it believable."
"No way," Remus says. "I'm not going to hold your hand for the rest of the year. That's just…"
Before Remus can finish his sentence, Sirius has wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and pulled him close.
"Looks like we're in for the long run, then."
"This was a terrible idea."
"The worst," Sirius agrees, a big grin on his face.
At first when Sirius had grabbed Remus' hand in the hallways, Remus had instinctually pulled away. He had been uncomfortable and self-conscious. But within days, everyone seemed to know about their relationship, and they had stopped staring. At some point Remus didn't even notice it anymore, when Sirius was holding his hand, or when he was gently caressing the back of his neck as they were making homework.
He hadn't even noticed the fact that every time they were on the Common Room couches, Sirius would pull him into his arms, and they'd sit there, snuggled up together. Just like James and Lily.
Somewhere along the line, there had been a subtle change, but neither of them had noticed exactly when it had happened, or how it had happened. But the change had happened, and they had both gone along with it.
They hadn't mentioned it though, this new development in their friendship. But when one night, Sirius climbs into bed with Remus, and they cuddle up together, it's James who finally says something about it.
"You know Heloise won't see you here, right?" he asks, a knowing grin on his face. "I mean… this is still about Heloise, isn't it?"
"Of course," Sirius quickly says, his arm hung loosely around Remus' waist.
"So you're now sharing a bed, because…?" James asks, raising an eyebrow. "Are you hoping someone is going to tell her about this, or…?"
"Shut up, James," Remus sighs.
"Fine, I'm not saying anything." James grins, holding up his hands in defeat. "But you know what this looks like, right?"
"James?" Sirius asks.
"What?"
"Fuck off."
"Should we talk about it?" Remus mumbles, when everyone else is gone the next morning, and he and Sirius are still cuddled up in bed.
"Talk about what?"
"You know what, Pads," Remus sighs, but when Sirius brushes a hand through his hair, before resting their heads together, he can feel the smile forming on his face.
Sirius presses a quick kiss to Remus' lips, before whispering, "We're lovers, aren't we?"
"Are we?"
"How is it going with Heloise?" Lily asks one morning. "Is she still trying to get your attention, or did this whole… thing, work?"
"It seemed to have worked," Remus says. "I haven't really spoken to her anymore. She says hello when we pass each other in the hallway, but…" He shrugs. "I think it worked."
"Are you still going to go through with it?" Lily asks. "Especially with the dance coming up… are you two going together?"
"Of course they are," James laughs. "Look at them."
Sirius quickly takes his hand off Remus' leg, but Remus is already blushing.
"Leave them alone," Lily quickly says. "You know why they're doing this."
"Sure. Because of Heloise… who is… where exactly?" James asks, but when his girlfriend hits him in the arm, an irritated look on her face, he keeps quiet.
"We haven't really talked about the dance yet," Remus admits. "But you're right. Heloise knows I'm not interested, so we might as well stop now. Right?" he asks, still blushing. And when he sees the hurt look on Sirius' face, his face goes even redder.
"Or we could…," Sirius tentatively begins, before continuing, "go together anyway?"
Lily bites her lip, trying to hide the smile that is fighting to take over her face, but when Remus looks at her, he can tell what she is thinking anyway. He knows that she has seen the change happen too, and that she knows that Remus has started to fall for Sirius. That this stopped being an act to him weeks ago.
"As…?"
"Lovers?" Sirius purrs into Remus' ear, making him chuckle. "What do you say?"
"I swear, if you say no to him…," James warns him, but there is no way that Remus is going to say no to going to the dance with Sirius.
"On one condition," he laughs, and Sirius raises an eyebrow, a curious look on his face. "Stop calling me your lover."
"Boyfriend? Partner? Future husband?" Sirius wiggles his eyebrows, but when he sees the embarrassed look on Remus' face, he pulls him against his chest, a big grin on his face. "Don't worry, Moony. I'll call you whatever you want me to call you."
"Anything but lover."
"My beau? Hubby?"
"Go on like that, and you're going to the dance by yourself."
"Have you told him?" Lily asks, when Remus is trying on his suit for the dance next week.
"Told who what?"
"Told Sirius that you're in love with him?"
Remus' face goes bright red, and when he tries to open his mouth to explain, not a sound comes out.
"Oh, come on. I know you, Remus. You're head over heels in love with him."
"Is it that obvious?" Remus sighs, "Does everyone know?"
"Well… I suppose they do. You are dating, after all," Lily chuckles. "So it's not that odd if people think you're in love with… your boyfriend?"
"When did this become such a mess?"
"I don't know. You tell me."
"Do you think I should tell him?" Remus asks, but Lily just shrugs. "Or does he know too?"
"Sweetheart, you're dating the boy," Lily laughs. "Tell him."
"We're not…"
"Lovers?" Lily teases. "Aren't you though?"
Remus looks down at his feet, an uncomfortable look on his face. He had asked Sirius the same question, but Sirius hadn't given an answer. Instead, he had kissed him, and they had gone on kissing for the next weeks, not mentioning the conversation again.
Remus had been planning on talking to Sirius about his feelings, but when they were finally on their own, Sirius had started kissing him, and before he knew it, he was on his back on Sirius' bed, Sirius kissing his neck with such a fiery passion, that he was starting to see stars.
"What are we doing?" he finally manages to ask, just as Sirius begins to unbutton his shirt.
"I know what I was about to do," Sirius mumbles, unable to hide his irritation. But then he sighs, and he sits up, his legs still straddling Remus' sides. "Are we really going to do this now?"
"We'll have to talk about it sometime."
"Why?"
"Because…," Remus begins, but he doesn't know how to answer that question. Why do they have to talk about it? Why can't they just go on as they are?
"We're already…"
"Don't use that fucking word right now, Sirius," Remus warns him.
"I was going to say, 'here', so why make this… you know… why make it more complicated?"
"Because I need to know if we're still doing this because of Heloise," Remus mumbles. "I need to know if all of this is making you feel…" He sighs, knowing fully well that his next words could change everything. "I need to know if you're in love with me too."
Sirius stares down at him, and slowly but surely a smile forms on his face.
"Did you seriously need to ask me that?" he asks, chuckling nervously. "You know I am, Remus."
Remus breathes a sigh of relief, and Sirius slides a hand into his shirt, before gently starting to caress his chest.
"Did you really think I was doing this because of Heloise?" he whispers.
"Maybe," Remus admits, still not sure if he can truly believe that anyone would fall in love with him. Especially Sirius.
"I love you, Moony," Sirius purrs, as he leans down to kiss him. "I don't care about Heloise, or… whoever else there is. I. Fucking. Love you."
"Don't," Remus chuckles, when Sirius kisses his neck. "Does this mean that we're really…"
"Babe," Sirius laughs. "Look at me. We're definitely dating, okay? Now shut up and let me kiss you."
"So…," James begins, when they're at the dance, "Are we still pretending this whole… dating thing is an act, or…?" He shrugs. "Can we stop pretending?"
"Didn't you hear what I said to you?" Lily rolls her eyes. "What did I say to you, right before we came here?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. "I told you to leave it, didn't I?"
"Yeah, I heard."
"It's fine," Remus chuckles, as Sirius pulls him into his chest. "We've talked about it."
"And?" Lily asks, an excited smile on her face. "Does this mean what I think it means?"
"We don't have to pretend anymore?" James asks, Lily hitting him in the arm. "What? We all knew that this was happening, didn't we?"
"Ignore him. So? Are you two now officially dating?" Lily asks, before adding, "For real, this time?"
"We are," Sirius says, a proud grin on his face, as he tightens the grip on Remus' waist. "Right, babe?"
"We are." Remus nods. "He's now officially my…"
"You know he's going to say it, don't you?" James laughs, Sirius wiggling his eyebrows at the suggestion.
"No, he's not. He knows what's going to happen if he uses that word again," Remus laughs.
"Do we want to know?" Lily asks, but when she sees the look on Sirius' face, she rolls her eyes, laughing to herself. "Never mind."
"Some things are better left unsaid."
