Strawberry Sweetness
"You're new here, aren't you?"
Remus had been hoping to go unnoticed for at least a week or two at his new school so he could get used to the place and settle in. But when he hears the girl's question, he jumps up, almost bumping his head into his locker.
He turns around, and he finds a beautiful girl standing there, a friendly smile on her face.
"I'm Lily."
"Remus."
"Want me to show you around?" she asks, before checking her watch. "It'll have to be a quick tour though."
"Oh, I ehm…," Remus mumbles, almost dropping a book. He manages to catch it just in time, but he can feel the blush creeping up on him, embarrassed at how nervous he is.
"Don't worry, I don't bite," Lily laughs. "Come on."
Remus closes his locker, and he follows her as she shows him around the building, before leading him outside.
"Who's your new boyfriend, then?" a guy asks as he comes up to them.
"Go take a walk, James." Lily rolls her eyes, the teenager flashing a toothy grin, before leaning in and giving her a kiss. "This is Remus. He's new."
"Nice to meet you, Remus. I'm James."
"Where is…," Lily begins, but before she can finish her question, a motorcycle can be heard, and they all turn to look.
The motorcycle stops, and Remus watches as the young man steps off, before taking his helmet off and brushing a hand through his dark hair.
Remus can feel his heart skip a beat as he watches him standing there in his jeans, white t-shirt, a leather jacket. It makes him feel like a little boy, wearing the new tweed suit his mother had bought for him. Yet he can't take his eyes off the other teenager, something about him feeling dangerous, like he would be the kind of person his parents would warn him to stay away from. Yet something in him is dying to get to know who this young man is.
"Who…," he begins to ask, but James runs off towards the guy, and he gives him a hug.
"Is he a friend of yours?"
"That's Sirius," Lily explains, finally turning back to look at Remus. "They're…," she begins, but when she sees the blush on Remus' face, she can't help but laugh. "Don't worry, he has that effect on most people."
"What effect?" Remus asks, but even he can hear that his voice is coming out all wrong.
"The blushing… the…"
Remus shushes her, because there are people all around them, but Lily just shakes her head, smiling to herself, before grabbing his hand and dragging him over to James and Sirius.
"This is…"
"Remus," Sirius interrupts her, a big smile on his face. "James was just telling me about you."
"Really?" Remus asks, all too aware of the fact that his voice still doesn't sound right. He can feel himself growing hot, even a little sweaty, and he almost considers running off and avoiding these people for the rest of his time here. But he takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself, and he somehow manages to flash a smile.
"We'll see you at lunch." Lily smiles, and before Remus can say anything, she and James have disappeared into the rest of the crowd, leaving him alone with Sirius.
"That's ehm… a nice … motorcycle," Remus stutters, the smile on Sirius' face growing bigger.
"Thanks," he laughs. "Maybe we can go for a ride sometime?"
Remus is still staring at him, thinking he must have imagined his suggestion by the time the bell rings.
"I'll see you later," Sirius laughs, clapping him on the shoulder, before walking off, leaving him standing there, still not sure whether he imagined it or not.
Remus was expecting his first day at school to just be like any other day. He would have to sit through a full day of classes, there would be a lunch where he would have to eat some very questionable food, and after a long, boring day, he'd go home again. But somehow he had managed to show up on the day where his year was going on a fieldtrip to the planetarium. So after just two classes, he was already leaving school again.
He has just sat down on the bus, when he hears Lily's voice.
"There you are! I was looking for you." She smiles, as she pushes through a group of girls, before sitting down next to him. "So… how do you like it here so far? It's not too bad, is it?"
"It's… nice." Remus shrugs, unable to form a full opinion on his new school after only a few hours.
"Nice?" Lily asks, raising an eyebrow. "The people are nice?"
"Sure."
"Especially a certain boy with a motorcycle?" Lily asks, a knowing smile on her face.
"Keep it down, will you?" Remus shushes. "If someone hears you… you know what happens to people like me… like that, I mean. You can't say those things."
"What? You think they'll lock you up because you…"
"Don't!" Remus warns her, keeping his voice down. "Don't even say it."
"Is that why you moved here? Did someone find out and give you trouble for it?"
"What? No. My father had to move for his work."
"Well… it doesn't matter to me or James." Lily shrugs. "Sirius is…," she says, but then she keeps her voice down. "Like that too."
Remus knows that she is telling him to earn his trust, to show him that he can be honest with her without her telling on him. So he nods, before staring out of the window again.
"It won't always be like this, you know?" Lily says, but when Remus doesn't reply, she continues. "Trust me. In a few years you won't have to hide anymore."
"It's illegal," Remus mumbles, before looking up, only to find Lily staring at him with an irritated look on her face. "What? It is."
"The law can change, and it will."
"Not in our lifetime."
"Goodness, aren't you just full of positivity?" Lily laughs, before playfully nudging him in the arm.
Remus is trying his best to focus on the presentation, but he is fully aware of Sirius sitting next to him, of his hand nervously playing with the zipper of his jacket.
He can feel his eyes getting drawn to him, over and over again, but he tries his best not to make it too obvious that he is watching him from the corner of his eye. But when Sirius gets up and sneaks out, he can't pretend he hasn't noticed.
He knows he should stay here and watch the presentation, seeing as it's his first day and everything, but he is too drawn to the other teenager. So he follows him outside, where he finds him sitting on the steps, smoking a cigarette.
"Want one?"
"No, thanks." Remus smiles. "May I?"
"Of course," Sirius says, moving to the side so Remus can sit down next to him. "That place is just too…" He makes an explosion-motion with his hand, before shaking his head and taking another drag of his cigarette.
"Overwhelming?"
"I guess," Sirius sighs. "Why are you here?"
"I followed you," Remus admits, and Sirius looks at him with a curious look on his face. "I just wanted to see if you were alright."
"Better now."
Remus stares down at his feet, not exactly having thought this through, because here he is, sitting next to this virtual stranger, with nothing to talk about. Well, he could think of a hundred things to tell him, but he doubts this guy, who rides a motorcycle and wears a leather jacket, is interested in anything he has to say.
"The offer stands, you know?" Sirius says, as he throws away his cigarette.
"The offer?"
"To go for a ride."
"Oh… okay… sure."
"Sweet." Sirius smiles, Remus' heart skipping a beat. "We should probably go back in though… make sure you don't get into trouble on your first day."
Remus nods, and when they go in, Sirius holds open the door for him, something about the way he is still smiling at him, making him wonder if maybe he is feeling the attraction he had felt as soon as he had watched Sirius step off that motorcycle too. But he quickly brushes off the thought, because how could someone like Sirius ever be interested in someone like him?
"Where did you two sneak off to?" Lily asks after the presentation, dragging Remus outside and away from their schoolmates. "Did you…"
"I thought maybe he wasn't feeling well, so I went to check on him," Remus quickly says, but when she raises an eyebrow, he can't help but laugh. "That's all."
"Go on, ask him out."
"Lily! I don't even know him!" Remus laughs, his face turning a dark shade of red as he sees James and Sirius already coming their way.
"That's why you need to get to know each other."
"Just because we're both… just look at him!"
"Just look at you." Lily smiles. "Ask him."
"No!" Remus laughs. "We don't even…," he begins, but when the two friends join them, he quickly keeps quiet.
"I was thinking… how about we go for a milkshake?" Sirius asks, Lily subtly nudging Remus in the arm in a 'see, I told you!' kind of way.
"Lily and I…"
"Can't make it," Lily quickly says, her boyfriend looking confused. "We have this thing… a school thing… homework… a project."
"Right…," Sirius laughs. "Remus?"
Remus considers declining the offer, because as much as Lily's enthusiasm has gotten him excited, he isn't sure whether this whole thing is a good idea. But he finds himself nodding, the smile on Sirius' face growing bigger immediately.
"Sweet."
They say goodbye to Lily and James, before going over to Sirius' motorcycle, which is parked on the other side of the building.
"Why didn't you take the bus?"
"Why didn't I take the bus, when I have this?" Sirius asks, before handing the spare helmet to Remus. "This, it's… you'll see."
"I'm a little nervous."
"Don't worry, I'll take care of you," Sirius says, the words making Remus feel all warm and fuzzy. But he tries his best to hide it by putting on the helmet, now feeling even stupider. But when Sirius gets on, he quickly climbs on with him.
"Hold on tight," Sirius says, and Remus nervously grabs a hold onto his sides. Well, onto the fabric of his jacket, too nervous to actually grab a hold of the other teenager. "You'll fall off," Sirius laughs. "Come on, put your arms around my waist."
This time Remus does as he is told, and as they drive off, he holds tightly onto the other teenager's waist. His insides feel like they are doing cartwheels, and even though Sirius is being careful and driving slower than he would if he was on his own, Remus is glad when his feet touch the ground again.
"Are you okay?" Sirius laughs, putting his hand on Remus' arm. "Was that your first time?"
"Mhm," Remus mumbles, as he takes the helmet off, and he hands it over to Sirius. "Sorry, I'm a little…"
"Don't worry. Next time you'll know what to expect."
"Next time?" Remus thinks to himself, but all he can do is flash a smile.
Sirius leads him into the diner, where they sit down at a table and order a milkshake.
"So, Remus… tell me…"
"Tell you what?" Remus chuckles nervously.
"About yourself. Who are you?"
"I don't know." Remus shrugs. "We moved here for my dad's work… I'm seventeen…"
"That's it? You're seventeen? That's all there is to know about you?" Sirius asks, a confident grin on his face. "What is your deepest, darkest secret?"
"I can't tell you that!" Remus quickly says, and he can feel his cheeks growing hot. But when he sees the grin on Sirius' face growing bigger, he realises that he was only teasing him and trying to get him to open up a little.
"Relax," Sirius laughs. "I'm sure those skeletons in your closet aren't half as bad as you think they are."
Remus gives a small nod, before staring down at his milkshake, not sure what to say. But then he takes a deep breath, and he speaks the question on his mind. Or rather, he tries to, but he stumbles over the words, not sure how to put it without saying the words.
"Lily said that you ehm… she said that we… that we're both…"
"That I don't like girls?" Sirius asks, keeping his voice down, but his words are still enough to make Remus look over his shoulder to check and see if anyone has heard him. "True."
"Oh…"
"Is that your secret?" Sirius asks, but Remus just shrugs. "It shouldn't have to be."
Remus plays with the straw in his milkshake, not sure what to say to that. But when he feels Sirius nudging his foot against his, he looks up, only to see the teasing smile on his face.
"I've never met anyone who is… you know…"
"Like you?"
"Like me," Remus admits, and he can tell by the look on Sirius' face that he knows just how much it took for him to say those words.
"There are a few other guys at school, a couple of girls too." Sirius shrugs.
"Oh…," Remus says, trying his best to hide his disappointment. Because surely if Sirius knows other guys like them, there is an even smaller chance that he would ever be interested in him. "Are any of these guys your ehm…"
"Friends? Not really. It's just James and Lily. I'm not exactly… popular, let's say."
"Why not?"
"Bad reputation?" Sirius shrugs, but Remus can tell that there is more to it.
"Did something happen?"
"It's my family," Sirius explains. "They have a reputation around town. So when people hear my name…"
"Should I be worried?" Remus asks, and he means it as a joke, but he can see the hurt in Sirius' eyes, so he quickly adds, "I'm not. Worried, I mean. I don't even know your family, so… and I don't care."
"Yet."
"I won't. I'm friends with you, right? Not your family."
"Right." Sirius smiles, a sparkle in his eyes. "With a chance of us becoming more than friends, I hope?"
Remus is so shocked at his words, having convinced himself that Sirius couldn't possibly be interested in him, that he almost knocks over his milkshake.
"I've never met anyone like you," Sirius admits, and for a moment Remus thinks he means someone as nervous, clumsy and socially awkward. But when Sirius touches his foot again, something in his eyes growing more nervous, he realises that he isn't teasing him.
"You felt it too, didn't you? When we met," Remus asks, and Sirius nods, the smile on his face growing bigger.
"How about we go for a walk?" Sirius suggests, and after they have paid the bill, for which Sirius insists paying, they make their way out of the diner.
They go over to the park, which is empty for the most part at this time of the day, and after walking in silence for a while, they sit down in the grass.
"Are you ashamed of it?" Sirius asks. "Of who you are, I mean. You keep looking over your shoulder, like someone is going to come out and jump you."
Remus nods, too afraid that if he were to speak right now, his voice would betray just how close to tears he truly is.
"Why? There is nothing wrong with us."
"Not according to the law."
"The law is wrong," Sirius says, before grabbing a hold of Remus' hand. But Remus quickly pulls away, too scared to be caught. "There is nothing wrong with you, Remus. Whoever has made you believe this… they are the ones who are wrong, okay? Not you."
"I've never even told anyone," Remus admits, and Sirius sighs. "I'm not as brave as you are."
"Brave?" Sirius scoffs. "I'm not brave. I am too much of a coward to stand up to my parents when they are drunk and it gets physical, instead, I run away and I stay at James'. I stand by and watch as my family falls apart, Remus. I am not brave."
"But you're not scared to be… you know…"
"What other choice do I have?" Sirius asks. "Lie to myself, pretend that I'm attracted to girls? Get married and have a family? Is that what you're going to do?" he asks, and Remus shrugs, a sick feeling in his stomach. Because for the longest time he had thought that that was his only option. Sometimes he still does.
"I don't want that," Remus sighs. "I want this," he admits, the words having left his mouth before he has even thought them through.
"Me too." Sirius smiles, and he extends his hand. This time Remus looks over his shoulder, and when he is certain that they are still alone, he takes his hand. "This is who we are, and there is no shame in that."
"And if people find out?"
"There is no one here." Sirius shrugs. But then he sighs, and he looks down at their hands. "I like you, Remus. I know we've only just met, but…"
"I like you, too," Remus blurts out, his hand getting clammy in Sirius'.
"Yeah?" Sirius smiles. "So if I were to suggest we'd go on a second date…"
"This was a date?"
Sirius nods, the smile on his face growing bigger.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Oh… I'm not sure," Remus says, freeing his hand from Sirius'. "I've never kissed anyone."
"Okay. Maybe next time."
Remus gives a small nod, and he stares out at the lake, the image of Sirius kissing him flashing before his eyes. It fills him with excitement, and nerves, but mostly excitement, and he finds himself smiling, not even realising that the other teenager is watching him.
"What are you thinking?"
"I want to kiss you," Remus admits.
"But you just said…"
"I changed my mind," Remus says, "I think. I'm a little nervous…"
"Me too," Sirius whispers, before leaning in and pressing his lips against Remus'.
Remus can taste the sweetness of the strawberry milkshake on his lips, and although he had often wondered what his first kiss would be like, he couldn't have imagined how sweet it would actually be.
"Was that okay?" Sirius whispers, as he gently caresses the back of Remus' neck.
Remus can't even answer, the pure happiness and joy almost bursting out of him, and when he sees the knowing smile on the other teenager's face, a giggle escapes from his mouth.
"That's a yes, then?" Sirius laughs, his hand still lingering on Remus' neck.
"Yes. And yes to that ehm… to a second date," Remus quickly adds, taking advantage of the excitement of the moment.
"Sweet."
"How was your first day, sweetheart?" Hope asks, as soon as Remus is through the door. "Did you make friends?"
"Yes, mum," Remus laughs. "I made friends."
"See? I told you, didn't I?" Hope smiles, before patting the space next to her on the couch. "Sit down."
"What's wrong?"
The last time his parents had sat him down, they had told him that they were moving, and Remus can't bear the thought of moving again. Not now he has just made new friends. Now he has met Sirius. He doesn't want to have to leave them again.
"Who was that who brought you home? The boy on the motorcycle?"
"Oh…," Remus says. "That's Sirius."
"A friend?"
"Yes. A friend."
"Is he a good boy?" Hope asks, and there is something about the smile on her face that makes Remus feel nervous. Like he has been caught out somehow.
"Yes, mum. He's a good boy."
"You'll be careful, won't you?"
At first Remus assumes she is talking about Sirius' motorcycle, but then it hits him what she is telling him.
"How long have you known?"
Hope just flashes a smile, as she grabs his hand and squeezes it tight.
"I'm sorry, mum…"
"You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. But be careful, please," she says, keeping her voice down, even though it's just the two of them.
"I'll be careful."
"Good. And invite him over for dinner, will you? Your father and I will have to meet this boy."
"Mum! We've only just met!" Remus laughs, but his mother is adamant, and in the end he gives in. "Fine, yes, I will ask him."
He gets up to go to his room, but just as he is about to leave the room, his mother calls his name, making him turn back around.
"I'm happy for you."
Remus flashes a grateful smile, before running up the stairs and going to his room, where he crashes down onto his bed.
Just this morning he was hoping to go unnoticed, that no one would even speak to him. Now here he is, with three new friends, one of which could possibly even become, dare he say it? His boyfriend? Even the thought makes his heart skip a beat, and he can feel himself blushing, the memory of the sweetness of their kiss still on his mind.
He had been dreading to start at his new school, but after today, he can't wait to see what the rest of the year will bring.
