"Ben, I have a lead on a therapist for Alex," Wolf said the second Ben picked up the phone. Ben took a deep, slow breath, his gaze sliding over to the blonde-haired teen who was currently eating breakfast and drawing in his sketchbook. The older man subtly moved into the hallway. It had been a week since the soccer game incident and the whole unit had been racking their brains about how to help Alex.
"Who are they? When can they meet him?" His mind floated to his therapist friend who had been giving him advice. Ben had, of course, asked if he could see Alex but he was already full up with patients.
"Today. She's a friend of Sadie's who specializes in trauma therapy. She works with a lot of domestic abuse victims. Her name is Caroline." Ben's brain timed out at the information.
"Today?" He asked when it started working again. "When today? Where? He hasn't left the house since we got him back. I tried to take him to the grocery store with me a little while back. He took three steps out the front door and had a panic attack at the first person that got too close."
"She said she could come to the flat," Wolf soothed. "I already made the appointment. She'll be there at 3pm." Ben nodded, forgetting that Wolf couldn't see him through the phone.
"Thanks Wolf. I'll let you know how it goes." Wolf gave a grunt of acknowledgement and hung up.
As promised, the doorbell rang at 3pm exactly. Ben went to open the door, leaving Alex in his usual spot, a bar stool by the counter. His sketchbook was in front of him but he wasn't drawing in it now. He was watching Ben nervously.
"Hi! Come on in, you must be Caroline," Ben greeted the young woman standing in the doorway. She was short with mousy brown hair and bright, happy, blue eyes. She beamed at him with dazzlingly white teeth.
"And you must be Ben," she replied, shaking his hand as she stepped through.
"Thanks for coming. That's Alex." He gestured to the teen sitting on the stool. The blonde shifted uncomfortably, not meeting either pair of eyes. "Alex, this is Caroline. We talked about her this morning?" Alex nodded his acknowledgement and Ben sighed internally. This was going to be an uphill battle.
"Hi Alex," Caroline greeted gently. "Why don't you come sit on the couch and we can get started." Ben smiled encouragingly as Alex picked his way over and perched on the edge of the couch as if he might bolt any second. The teen hugged a pillow tightly for reassurance.
"Al, I'm gonna be in my office down the hall okay?" Alex's head whipped up, eyes wide in panic at the thought of Ben leaving him.
"It's okay buddy. I'll leave the door open. You just call if you need anything." The blonde shook his head, looking almost on the verge of tears.
"Alex, she's safe. We talked about this, remember? James made sure she's safe. I made sure she's safe. No one's gonna do anything you don't want. And I'm going to be right in the next room just in case." The boy nodded but hugged the pillow even tighter.
"Don't worry," Caroline murmured. "We'll sort him out. It just takes time." Ben nodded gratefully and wandered down the hallway to his small little office room, knowing full well he wasn't going to be getting anything done.
"Hey Alex. I'm Caroline," the woman greeted again, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch. "I want you to know this is a safe space and no one is going to make you do anything you don't want okay?" The teen nodded slowly. Alex studied her from the corner of his eye, unwilling to look at her directly. Her clear blue eyes seemed to see everything as she watched him intently.
"You notice everything don't you Alex?" He shrugged and she nodded knowingly. "You like to wait and see how a situation pans out. It's common in abuse victims. You aren't alone." Alex nodded again because it seemed like she wanted a response and he didn't know what else to give. The woman considered him for a long time before speaking again.
"James told me you like to draw. What do you like to draw?"
"Everything," he mumbled, his voice so soft it was barely audible. But she smiled encouragingly at him.
"Everything is a broad category. Do you sketch or color your creations?"
"Sketch." Caroline nodded like it told her something about him that seemed to make sense. "Does everything include people or just objects?" The image of the drawing he had made the other night flashed through his head. The man with the reaching arms. And then him, illuminated, unable to escape or hide. He blinked it away. He didn't want to think about that. But Caroline noticed.
"What were you thinking of? A person you want to draw?" Alex shook his head quickly. Too quickly. "Someone who hurt you?" She asked softly. Alex felt dizzy all of a sudden, his hands slick with sweat.
"Our trauma is always hard to think about. And talk about. Let's talk about techniques for when those feelings pop up ok?" Caroline was the picture of calm but Alex couldn't seem to catch his breath. His head felt of static and everything had a far off quality, like he was underwater.
"It's called a panic attack. I hear you have them a lot. Let's focus on breathing first. Breathe in for ten seconds… Hold for five seconds… Breathe out for ten seconds…. Hold for five seconds… repeat." Alex did as he was told. He was trained well to do as he was told. It helped a little.
"Good. Feel better?" The teen nodded. "Great. I'm going to teach you one more exercise you can do when you feel like that ok? It's called grounding. You're gonna call out things I tell you to. Alex, give me five things you can see right now."
"A table… umm… a-a chair…"
"Quicker. Don't think about it. It doesn't matter what you choose. There are no right or wrong choices."
"A-a glass, the tv, and you?"
"Good. Great. Now give me four things you can touch."
"The couch, the pillow, my skin, the… umm… the table again." Caroline nodded her approval.
"Three things you can hear."
"Someone mowing their lawn, music from another apartment, Ben moving around his office." With each new sense, Alex felt better and more confident. He found he wasn't shying away from Caroline's gaze. He could look her in the eyes. At least a little bit.
"Two things you can smell."
"The freshly cut grass. Bacon from breakfast still."
"One thing you can taste. That one's a little harder. You can choose something you tasted earlier today if you want."
"Bacon from breakfast," Alex said with a ghost of a smile. Caroline beamed back at him, her perfect white teeth nearly blinding.
"I love bacon too," she giggled. "How do you feel now?"
"Better." Alex blushed and looked down.
"It's okay to feel good. You don't have to be embarrassed about it. Your friends and family want you to be happy. And I'm including myself in that group. We're only here to help Alex. But it's hard when you won't talk." The smile slid off the blonde's face.
"I'm not supposed to…" he mumbled after a long moment of silence.
"Who told you that?" The woman asked gently.
"Listen here brat!" His master spit at him. "I own you! You don't whine or complain or speak unless I tell you to. You don't even shit without my permission, got it?"
"Alex, 5 things you can see…"
A/N:Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this so far! I've finally given Alex a therapist. The poor boy needed it. As always, please show your love with likes and comments! 3
