*Content Warning: Graphic depictions of torture and non-consensual sexual violence*
Chapter Twenty-Four: The Darkness Inside
Forest Near the Cullen Residence - February 1st
Alice wasn't keeping track of their direction actively, just moving along a random path until she was sure they were outside of Edward's ability to hear her thoughts. Then she collapsed to the ground, letting out a small desperate laugh.
"Bree." She muttered to herself dreamily, overwhelmed and utterly excited by the prospect of having a daughter. Maybe two if Isabella wanted her as a partner and lover and Eliza accepted her. Either way she was committed to a fuller life, and it filled her once broken heart with a bright hope for the future. Until she opened her eyes and found Isabella staring down at her with a strange intensity.
"Our daughter?" The words were soft and clearly bewildered, a sharp change from Isabella's usually cold and detached voice. They were also a boon, a coupling of words that gave Alice more joy than she could even begin to process.
"Yes, it's her. I'm absolutely sure of it. It was different circumstances, but around this point in time. There was something going on with the vampire world and we were staying out of it, maybe it was the same thing that's happening now. Then we stumbled across her at the point of death, starving in an alleyway in Seattle. We took her in and got her healthy, but her body was too ravaged so we asked if she wanted to join us. Then she was ours, unexpected for sure, but she was an aspect of our lives that gave us endless joy. Just like I imagine Eliza has been for you." Alice said happily, crossing her hands behind her head as she looked up into the dense cloud cover that was turning slightly pink indicating an approaching snowstorm.
"Eliza, yes. I wouldn't exist with her. But how do you know all of that?" Isabella was still clearly confused and a touch panicked, her eyes wide. Alice frowned, and stood up with unnatural grace. She reached out hesitantly, then withdrew her arm when Isabella glared at her hand.
"Um… well it's hard to explain. I've never been fully transparent about my visions because it has never been just a single flash and done. That's what happens first, then as that reality fills out it grows in detail until that future solidifies." Alice's explanation made Isabella nod, then frown as she finished the thought.
"Or disappears." Isabella sounded a bit bitter, a version of reality where she was normal and happy, which sounded so much better than her living nightmare.
"Well yes, but in this case it was so real and full because it was my own future. That particular vision was so rich and vibrant I was lost in it, until Edward set his sights on you and it instantly crumbled away. In this case I remember her very clearly, and this girl is absolutely our Bree… Brianna, damn Eliza just changed her name." Alice smirked, and looked off in the distance towards the direction of the house.
"She does that. Bre..Anna must've been found by someone else, a victim taken to be canon fodder in this timeline." Isabella reasoned, and Alice nodded in confirmation.
"I think you must be right, but perhaps she was always supposed to be with us, I know we need to take care of her. Or, I don't mean to put that on you. I will take care of her. I already feel this incredible love for her, she's my daughter." Alice winced, realizing she sounded a bit loony. It was so hard to separate out her feelings from the ones she felt in her visions. At times they were totally interchangeable.
"And here I thought my mind was twisted." Isabella smirked.
"My mind works in mysterious ways, what's your excuse?" Alice tried humor, but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. Then she realized she was probing again, and started to apologize but Isabella just held up a hand.
"It's complicated. Alice, you may not be entirely safe around me alone." Isabella tried to warn her, but she wasn't sure it would work with Alice. So she started to mentally prepare herself for the next step, her story.
Alice tilted her head, but she kept her voice mild, "what do you mean?"
Bella tensed, clenching her fists, "you saw what just happened. I'm dangerous. I nearly lost control with Edward. It's really not safe for you to be around me. Not when I'm like this."
Alice slowly shook her head, "He's hurt you, and I'm not going anywhere."
Isabella's entire body tensed again and she clenched her fists for several long moments. Her voice was deceptively soft. "You don't understand…"
Alice's voice was gentle, she didn't demand or even try and coax, just voiced her request plainly. "So help me understand."
Isabella hunched forward slightly, she was of two minds about Alice's request. Part of her didn't want to reveal any side of herself. Something about exposing herself, laying her soul bare, made her very hesitant. For some strange reason she found herself fearing rejection, and a further loss of control by letting someone else into her life. Alice had to be made to understand.
"Edward was always fond of saying, 'I am damned, soulless and doomed to walk alone for all eternity.' He had no fucking clue what being damned truly means." Isabella started, and Alice immediately shook her head.
"I don't believe you're damned. You're here, that's all that matters." Her words felt hollow to Isabella, and she took a step forward aggressively.
"You don't get it, me back there, almost killing him. That lack of mercy or restraint, if you two hadn't stopped me I would've taken his head. I wanted to do it. What does that make me?" Her voice was far from cold, she was showing her anger without restraint and it was a bit terrifying even through Alice's resolve.
But Alice wasn't about to give up, so she stepped forward and met Isabella's glare, "you are someone who has been wronged, someone who almost gave into revenge. It is a tale as old as civilization, maybe longer. You have nothing to be ashamed of."
"So you would abide me killing him? What if I can't stop, what if in my fury I take down Emmett or Rose or god forbid Esme?" Isabella tossed that out, because she had already been close once to wiping out the entire family. Who was to say she wouldn't give into those impulses?
"Do you really think you could just kill wantonly, without thought or regret? I… I don't believe it." Alice tried to sound confident in her disbelief, but a bit of doubt crept into her voice.
"I never said anything about not regretting, you don't understand. When I'm like that I could kill you! You need to go and stay as far away from me as possible." Isabella tried, as she felt her beast start to pace, thirsting for violence.
"I don't think you get the fact that I'm not going anywhere. I was absolutely serious when I said I would never leave you again, do you think a little warning is going to scare me off?" Alice countered, closing the distance between them.
"Fine, then let me show you." Isabella said letting a bit of her anger out.
"Wha…" Alice started, but Isabella moved before Alice could react, taking her by the arms and slamming her into a nearby tree. The world darkened, along with her eyes and suddenly Alice felt a deep despair and unrelenting cold whip at her senses. The cold quickly grew painful, and a primal fear started to overwhelm her reason. She wanted to retreat, to run, to get away from the darkness… and yet a spark of something else fought against the onslaught. It was just enough to hold her ground.
"I won't leave you." Alice managed to whisper out, despite her chin quivering and her voice unsteady. Her resolve was foundational, absolute, poured like concrete by her love for Isabella. "I love you."
This broke Isabella who pushed away and the shadows pulled back inside of her. She shut her eyes in pain and collapsed to her knees, lowering her head to the ground and letting loose the sobs that had been threatening to boil over for days. Alice knelt down and pulled Isabella into her arms, expecting to be pushed away. Instead, Isabella wrapped herself around Alice and buried her face in between her shoulder and neck. Alice felt cold tears running down her chest, and just leaned her cheek against Isabella's head and held her.
It took awhile, but eventually Isabella calmed down and started to talk, softly at first but clear and nervous. "I meant what I said, I'm not the girl you once knew. So much has happened, good and bad. I've done so, so much. I should hate you for what happened, but I can't seem to force myself to hate you. It should be easy, but it's so hard. You doomed me, you cast me into hell. Yet all I want is to keep you right here."
"Tell me what happened to you." Alice said, the words more of a plea than a demand.
Isabella hesitated for a moment that seemed to last far too long before she looked up and met Alice's eyes once again. "Are you sure?" Isabella's voice was trying to impart a warning.
"Only if you want to tell me." Alice said softly, almost reaching out to caress Isabella's cheek.
"If you love me like you say, this will be impossible to hear." Isabella warned again, this time genuinely afraid of Alice's reaction.
"I don't matter." Alice whispered, letting out some of her self loathing.
"Alice… no you do matter. That's the whole problem." Alice gave her a confused look. Isabella untangled herself from Alice and stood, straightening her outfit and then folding herself down to sit opposite from Alice, meeting her eyes completely. "It started right after you left. Something… something inside me broke. I missed you so much. I didn't even care about myself at that point. You were gone. It was like my entire soul was excised, and all that was left was a shell. I was already dead, I was just waiting for the rest of my body to die."
Alice nodded, not denying any of it. "I'm so sorry we left-"
Isabella shook her head slowly, her brow furrowing in anger. "Not them… You! I missed your family of course, and I thought I missed Edward the most at first, but god. I couldn't stop thinking about YOU."
Alice was stunned, as Isabella just stared at her before continuing. "I sent a message to your email address every day. Every goddamn fucking day. I know you deactivated it. Believe me, I got plenty of 'address does not exist' error messages back. But I hoped and prayed that you'd see the messages because I made the decision to send them. You have no fucking clue how much I missed you. That was the hardest part of Edward telling me goodbye. You were my best friend, my sister, my confidant… my…" Isabella faltered momentarily before continuing. "My everything, all rolled into one! Then I'm told that I'm not good enough for your family, for you. That you don't even want to bother saying goodbye?"
Alice shut her eyes in pain and nodded, "if I had known I would've never been able to leave."
"I get that. But at the time there was only pain. But that doesn't matter anymore, in this case the past is prologue, and you asked for my story." Isabella said forcefully, and Alice bowed her head slightly to acquiesce. "So I tried to continue my friendships, when I was functional enough to not just stare out my bedroom window. Eventually I reconnected with Jacob Black and convinced him to help me build motorcycles because I found out that if I did stupid things I could see all of your family. Rosalie snapping at me for being reckless or Emmett rooting me on. Then there was Carlisle, who looked at me in disappointment when I was giving into my darker impulses and Esme when I was hurt or frustrated giving me a sense of warmth and compassion. I never saw Edward much, maybe a few times at first. All of them were eventually replaced with you, just watching me. No words, just letting me know with your eyes what you thought of me. But you know what? Karma must have seriously fucking had it in for me, because I come to find out, my new best friend is a freaking werewolf. His entire pack was trying to keep a vampire at bay, not realizing she was after me. When they found out, they all tried to keep me safe only to fail in the end." Isabella was not detached, there was no way to tell this story as a dispassionate storyteller. So for once she let out her real emotions, and she could see them starting to affect Alice already.
"We thought that because we were gone you would be safe." Alice tried to apologize, but Isabella shrugged.
"I can see that reasoning, but no. I was fair game to vampires, having taken a step in your world exposed me to them." Isabella said with a small shake of her head, her lips pursed into a frown.
"Laurent…" Alice said with a grimace… "and I assume Victoria as well."
"We don't speak her name very often." Isabella admitted, managing to hold in the shudder at the mention of the woman who ruined her.
"I can't figure out why though, we guessed as much. Perhaps because we killed James?" Alice sounded a little confused, but also sad and guilty and angry all at once.
"A mate for a mate." Isabella confirmed with a bitter laugh and Alice flinched. "I ended up practically living down with Jacob in La Push. My dad was just happy that I was no longer borderline catatonic so he never complained. I was surrounded by wolves twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. She kept trying, but Jacob wouldn't abandon me. They protected me like a member of their pack, until they were tricked."
"Tricked?" Echoed Alice, her voice cold with dread.
Isabella nodded. "Victoria created a newborn and set it loose on one part of the reservation, no one realized it was a distraction. He sent poor Colin to watch me, and then Victoria took Colin's hand and she got to me. I was awake for the first part of it, but eventually she knocked me out. I woke up in a cabin in the middle of nowhere." Isabella glanced up for a moment, this is where she usually whitewashed things. But something inside her made her want Alice to have the full impact.
"You see in movies and television how the hero protagonist suffers stoically while getting tortured? They might scream in pain, maybe even relent to the mechniations of their torturer, but they always win in the end." Alice nodded slightly, and Isabella gave her a rueful smile. "I didn't suffer in silence. I screamed, and called for anyone to help me. I spent my entire time in that cabin fantasizing that you would come for me, but there was no last minute save."
"You don't have to relive that if…" Alice started but Isabella just shook her head with wide eyes alit with the intensity of the moment she was forcing herself to rehash.
"No, this is happening. I'll tell it to you and that's it. I will never be able to say this again. So it's now or never." Isabella warned one last time.
"Okay. I'm not going anywhere." Alice said, kneeling back and meeting Isabella's intense gaze unflinchingly.
"When I first woke up I was terrified, but she wasn't there so I thought maybe she had just abandoned me to die of starvation or something. No such luck I'm afraid. It didn't even occur to me to run, until she showed up opening the unlatched door and laughing. She pulled up a chair and sat in front of me, I was on a bare mattress on that dirty floor.
"'You know, now that I have you I'm not sure where I want to start when there are so many options to choose from!' Victoria said with an almost maniacal glee, then she actually slapped her hands together and smiled at me with excitement. I begged her not to hurt me, and pleaded with her to just kill me. She just moved over and leaned down, 'Shall we start with sharp, cold, blunt, hot or loud? Hmmm, let's start with my favorite!'
"She picked me up by the throat then threw me onto that chair. She didn't even bother strapping me down. Then she pulled out this tiny knife and started to cut. Shallow, barely causing blood to flow. She started at my feet and worked her way up, slowly shredding my clothes in the process. She did one leg that first day, and left me in so much agony I passed out from the pain.
"The next day she did the other leg, then my belly and chest. Followed by my arms and fingers, and then she took her time to turn my vagina and anus into loose meat. That's how she left me for two days, not bleeding enough to die but in so much pain that I couldn't think of anything else.
"Cold was next, after she let me heal up a bit. She stripped off the tatters of my clothes and doused me in frigid water again and again, bringing me to the point of hypothermia before stopping and wrapping me in a dry blanket for the night next to an ancient stove. I could barely move at that point, my mind lost to the pain, it had become my whole world along with my fantasy of rescue. That's when she started with hot. Various metal tools turned red from that fire. She was just as methodical, starting with my feet and legs and ending between my legs. At that point I was so brutalized I was barely human.
"That's when she turned to blunt trauma, breaking my little bones first before moving on to my bigger bones one by one until I was nothing more than a lump of flesh. Yet she never once touched my neck or face. The last part of the torture was maybe the hardest to enture; loud. She blinded me first and then laid next to me, cradling my broken body in her arms. Whispering; 'If they cared they'd be here.' and 'I deserve this for what I did to James' I finally broke down one day and told her exactly why you left. I wasn't good enough. I'll never forget her laughter in response, she just let loose for like an hour growing incredibly loud towards the end. Then she said that I was pitiful, and wasn't surprised, and that you were absolutely right. I wasn't good enough. This was all I was good for now. She continued with how worthless I was, and how my vampire family no longer cared about me. Said it again and again until it was ingrained like a mantra in my head. That's when she started singing. Using that powerful vampire voice, she sang so loudly that it was physically painful. To the point where it was just endless white noise.
"All of this was spread over the course of weeks? Months? I don't know. I lost track. She was very skilled at hurting me while keeping me alive while making me think I deserved it all." Isabella's voice was full of hurt and anger, dropping to a hoarse whisper near the end. Alice was perfectly still as she listened to Isabella relate the story. Her expression was blank and numb because to even attempt to move or think during the story was to risk madness.
"I thought that at least I would eventually wear out. She could only hurt me so much. I tried to hurry the process along, not eat or drink only to have her alternate between force feeding me or promising a few hours respite. Show's how much I knew at the time. She had me within an inch of my life when the tortures stopped. I was past the point of wanting to die, in so many ways I was already dead. My body was beyond saving by human means, I had maybe a few days left at that point, if that long. I expected to just be gone, to wither away from my injuries. But she wasn't done." Isabella looked to Alice for the first time, only to find her staring into space. Her face was hard and her body was shaking so hard that she appeared to be vibrating.
"What was left?" Alice mumbled out, her voice barely audible.
"The worst part." Isabella said with raised eyebrows.
"How?" Was all Alice could think to say.
"Torture is momentary, painful yes but at a certain point I was no longer suffering because my senses were utterly overwhelmed. I lost all sense of self and self worth, I had nothing left. She was very careful in crafting that part of my psyche. So when she vanished for most of a day, all I could do really was hope to die while she was gone. When she finally did return there was a lot of noise outside. I had no idea what was going on but when she came into the cabin she seemed so pleased with herself. Then she picked me up, and carried me outside. I assumed it was for some final indignity. I wasn't far wrong. She held my face up and asked if I could feel the sun on my skin, because it would be the last time I would ever feel its warmth. In that moment of respite, feeling the heat I knew I was about to die.
"Then I felt movement, and a second later we were in free fall. We landed somewhere soft, and I just knew it was my grave. Then she leaned in to whisper one final thing; 'I'm going to give you an eternity of hell. While you're there I want you to know. I'm going to kill everyone you've ever cared about. Your friends. Your parents. Everyone. Each one will die slowly and die knowing it's your fault. If you had let my James kill you, well they'd all live normal happy lives. Now they'll all die hating you.' Then she wrapped me in barbed chains and then stuck me in a metal box and bit my neck, injecting me with her venom before she attached the lid and welded it closed.
"I won't bore you with the pain of transition. I had thought I was used to pain at that point, but it was nothing next to the fires venom can create. I could feel every single injury heal itself, my body made whole as I became something else. She left a small hole at the top and didn't fill in my grave until I had fully transitioned into a vampire. When I did she used that hole to fill my box with cement and then surrounded my new coffin with enough that it was completely encased by at least a foot. I heard thumping later, where she must've filled in the hole with dirt. It must've been a good job because Jacob said there was no real sign of a grave.
"When I awoke, all that was there was my endless hunger and perfect darkness. I couldn't move at all, I was completely trapped even with my newborn strength. I had nothing but the memories of that cabin and an unquenchable thirst for blood. The prison was perfect, it was complete and total solitary confinement and sensory deprivation. It was malicious, because even human prisoners in solitary are allowed to move around a little, and have an hour of yard time a day. I read somewhere that they've done experiments locking people in dark rooms without sound. All of them experience hallucinations within forty-eight hours. I later found out that I was down there for nearly a decade. During that time, my hatred for you and the rest of your family and for Victoria festered. Yet it was centered around my audacious need to rise above my place. For being so selfish as to cause the deaths of my family and friends. Then there was the pain of my hunger, which consumed me. The only hope I had was the fact I was immortal, and a faint hope of one day finding freedom and seeking my revenge. I thought of the warmth of the sky, because I wasn't even sure if I was still blind. I had thousands of violent fantasies, and some not so violent. I couldn't even dream, and my mind began to slip. I went insane. I won't deny it." Isabella's voice was getting more and more desolate and her pacing getting more frenetic.
Alice forced herself to listen, not wanting to interrupt and not wanting to stop her as she talked through it. If Isabella experienced it, the least she could do was listen to it. Then her eyes widened once again as she finally understood, her visions never stopped, there was just nothing to see. Isabella wasn't dead, she was... in darkness. In Hell.
"Eventually in my madness I embraced the pain, and the rage and the darkness. Somehow I began to feel comfort in that endless abyss. It seemed to open up my world and for a time that strange darkness seemed tentative around me. Then one random day something changed, as I completely gave in and suddenly I was filled with something cold and powerful. A darkness deeper than the tomb she had buried me in. That's when I felt something snap, and in a flash my world exploded around me. I was free. It took me a while to realize that I was really free and that it wasn't just another hallucination. Until my thirst took over. I killed and drank everything in my path. Animals at first, it didn't matter what it was. Deer, squirrells, rabbits, moose, bear. I drank and drank… until I found people. A family. Parents. Children. I don't know how many. That's when I sort of woke up. The whole campsite was destroyed. A whole family slaughtered like cattle." The depth of Isabella's self hatred was obvious.
"She hadn't just treated me like a thing, she turned me into a monster. I sat in that campsite for hours, staring into the lifeless eyes of an eleven year old boy. I vowed never to hurt the innocent again, but I was very very broken at that point. Not just inhuman, I was barely conscious of my own thoughts and actions. I eventually realized that I had to go somewhere. Perhaps to find a way to end my existence. That's when I remembered the Volturi, one time when Edward pretended that I was so important to him that he would kill himself if anything happened to me.
"So I found a ship heading across the sea, made my way on foot through as many desolate and unpopulated areas I could find. I kept my word most of the time, when I was hungry I tried to kill the old or dying. Once I found a rapist and saved a woman, she still ran in terror from me. When I was brought before the council Aro refused to kill me because he couldn't read my thoughts, then he tried to inflict Jane's pain on me but it didn't work. After that they offered me a place in their guard."
"Did you accept?" Alice managed, still reeling from the story. Her mind already slipping back into that dark place of insanity she had so desperately tried to escape from.
"I jumped at the chance to learn to fight. Felix trained me first, and became my partner for a time. They didn't understand me, and I wasn't talking. I just threw myself into training, and before too long I was sent on missions. It was the best and worst thing they could have done. I would never be weak and helpless again. But they were helping make a better murderer. When I was ready, they allowed me to do what I do best. Inflict pain for all sorts of transgressions. A council mandated assassin in every way but the name.
"Then on one of those missions I found Eliza near the point of death. I had just been injured and thought nothing of taking her blood and showing her mercy by giving her a swift painless death. That's not what happened, and honestly I still don't really understand it. While I was drinking from her, she tried to stop me in the only way she could, she bit me back. My venom and her venom seemed to cause some sort of merging and when it was over we were both different.
"Now we work together. I still wonder if Aro should have destroyed me all those years ago when I brought her home, but he didn't. He was too curious about what we were. He even stopped others from executing us both, as if they could. He saw too much value in us, and he was right. We are the two most effective agents he has. Not just strong, we showed restraint when needed and mercy where required. Yet when we needed to kill, well I think tonight's work speaks for itself. We made his coven more powerful, but it wasn't Aro that ultimately made us family. It was Marcus. He adopted me, and eventually Eliza as his first children. It was both an honor and a privilege to be a member of his family. It is why we have stayed as long as we have." Isabella's voice became more calm as the story got easier. Finally she slumped her shoulders and looked down at the ground. Alice took a deep breath, looking at Isabella's forlorn form. Isabella's constant anger made so much sense.
"I think I'm beyond angry now, I felt my mind snap a few minutes ago. I can't process what happened to you, what I've done to you. Kill me. I deserve it." Isabella's eyes widened. It was the last thing she expected from Alice, and meeting her eyes she knew it was more than a request. She could see her own pain reflected, as if Alice felt every cut and hit, felt every second of darkness in that hole. Alice had lost her mind with grief, her face awash in the kind of sorrow and numbness that was all too familiar. Isabella was going to reach out or something, she could bear her own pain but seeing it so raw in Alice was almost worse.
Then Alice began to speak, her voice robotic or so overwhelmed that she could no longer express emotions; "I imagined you as a vampire so many times. Lost in a fantasy when I knew it was safe to think without him listening in. I dreamt of your time in transition, sitting by your side holding your hand. Then hunting with you during your months as a newborn, helping you choose whether to give into your new instincts or pick our way of life. I imagined kissing you, holding you… making love to you. But never once did I imagine you in pain. I hoped you let go, moved on with your life like Edward wanted. A part of me knew that wasn't likely, but I had to believe it. Now, that's all gone. It isn't just guilt, or anger or sorrow. I feel ill, wracked with the kind of pain you endured but condensed into a millisecond of a scream suspended for all eternity. Your pain is like a splinter in my mind, that will never go away. I can't hear anything but your screams now. I have nothing left… please just kill me."
Isabella stared at her. It was what she had wanted all this time, to make Alice suffer. To make them all suffer. But actually hearing the words, knowing that Alice wanted death forced her to realize she was wrong. Alice loved her so completely that she had been hollowed out by her story. She knew that the only thing that could work, the only thing left between them was the unrequited feelings she once felt so strongly. She looked into herself again, and thought about those feelings. Let herself feel them again, and found it didn't take much. They came rushing back full force, and it was so clear what they were. It wasn't platonic, or familial. It was romantic.
"I had feelings for you once." Isabella said, admitting for the first time out loud what she had always known. Alice's eyes met Isabella's with a panicked intensity. "Those feelings haven't faded or gone away. But I'm not sure I'm capable of expressing those feelings anymore. Can I just say the words, not just as a friend or a sister, but as something more?"
"Say it, just once. That's all I ask." Alice begged, and then far faster than Alice could react, Isabella flashed forward.
She felt a grip around her waist and back and then the impact as her body was slammed into a tree. Her eyes widened in surprise as she found herself staring into the pure blackness of Isabella's eyes, only inches from her own.
Isabella held her tightly, keeping her pinned to the tree, her voice was a snarl, "I'm dangerous. I'm faster. Stronger. More dexterous than any vampire except my daughter, whose physical abilities equal my own. I've got a monster inside me screaming to get loose. You just saw what happens if I lose control, and I could kill you right now, with no effort. "
"Okay. Kill me or love me. I'm yours." Alice's reply was utterly vulnerable, relenting to Isabella completely. Giving into whatever impulse ruled Isabella in the moment.
Isabella reached up and squeezed Alice's neck slightly with her hand for emphasis. "The only thing that keeps you and the world safe is my nominal self-control, and my daughter. I could lose control at any time for only a second and it would be over. If I fly off the handle, there's no telling what it would take to stop me. It's not safe for you to be around me. You should be terrified, akin to sitting in the chair under the Sword of Damocles. At any time I could snap and take your head." Isabella squeezed Alice's neck briefly once more for emphasis. Her black eyes locked on Alice's only a scant few inches from hers.
Alice answered with her heart, eyes had never left Isabella's. "I don't care. I'm not going to leave you. Not again."
Isabella's face contorted into a sneer as a snarl of rage escaped her throat. Alice didn't understand. Why didn't she understand? She stared into the beautiful face in front of her and between one moment and the next slammed her lips against Alice's.
Alice's eyes went wide and she had a giant intake of breath through her nose as fireworks went off in her brain as if someone had jammed a live wire into her body the instant she felt Isabella's lips on hers. All of her nerves jumped alive and exploded with sensation. The smell of Isabella filled her senses. The feel of Isabella's hand on her neck, the rest of her body so close all making Alice's body feel alive. There was nothing gentle or sweet or romantic about the kiss. This wasn't a light, exploring kiss, nor was it tentative in the least. The few times that Alice had allowed herself a brief fantasy their first kiss had been nothing like this. This wasn't worshiping and tender. This was a rough and almost punishing, and it was also the hottest fucking thing she'd ever felt. Isabella was alive. Isabella was kissing her.
It took an inhuman amount of will but Isabella pulled back with a gasp, turning away and inhaling deeply, desperately trying to get away from the scent of cinnamon and lilacs. She didn't dare look at Alice for her reaction. But when she tried to pull away to get more distance between them she felt a grip on her wrist. Isabella braced herself, turning around to stare at Alice, finding her unflinching and desperate gaze was almost humbling.
Isabella sighed, and then whispered; "Just once, for now." Alice held her breath, not sure what to expect. "I love you Alice, now and forever." Isabella's eyes slowly faded from black to red as she waited for Alice's response. It was slow, but the manic desperation in Alice's eyes began to fade and a warm smile curled at her lips. Alice slipped her hand behind Isabella's neck and she lazily pulled her close, crushing their bodies together. The kiss that followed was different, it had all the passion but none of the violence. Isabella was hesitant at first, but within seconds she melted into the embrace. When they eventually pulled away, they knew there was no going back. Dangerous and foolhardy for sure, but they were now together. Alice moved her hand to Isabella's and intertwined their fingers.
Alice gave her a small grin, kissing the back of her hand, "we'd better get back before Eliza finishes the job you started earlier."
Author's Note: Well this is both the same and different from the original. I always though the torture was off, so I changed it. It might be worse now, I'm honestly not sure I write pretty dark shit and don't always realize how dark it is. This is one of two chapters that will have a content warning. The next one is pretty soon, and those of you original readers will probably know what I'm talking about. This also came together very very quickly. I finished the bulk of it in a single sitting. I doubt the rest will flow this easily, but here you go. Two within like a week. Not sure if it is an enjoyable chapter, but I hope you like. Please let me know if things are too heavy.
