Disclaimer: Just as every action has an equal and opposite reaction, so to does every social club have an unequal and opposite counterpart. That counterpart will not play any part in this story.
The Drones Club
Hedwig swooped into the room to land on Fred's head and, after taking a moment to make herself comfortable, proudly presented her leg to George.
"It's a letter from Harry," George announced.
"What'd he say?" Fred asked being careful not to dislodge the bird from her perch. He well remembered what had happened the one and only time he had. On the plus side, the school healer had been able to reattach his scalp in such a way that it wasn't visibly evident that it had ever been torn off and they'd been able to find all of George's fingers so she'd been able to reattach them without any scarring as well. Neither twin would have been happy to be marked in a way that made it easy for the lay public to easily distinguish them from each other.
"Says he has a potential customer for us, friend of Hermione's father," George replied. "Set up a meeting for us and everything."
"Smashing, good sport, and all that rot," Fred laughed, he'd known something would pop up to save them. "And you said we were in trouble."
"We are," George said firmly. "Demand isn't quite what we'd hoped it would be."
"It's increasing."
"But not fast enough," George sighed, they should have started out with at least double the amount of funds they had. "Who knew starting a business would be so bloody hard?"
"We should have. Percy certainly told us enough times," Fred admitted.
"Bah, who ever listens to a word that windbag says?"
IIIIIIIIII
Harry awoke to the sensation of someone sitting on his chest and opened his eyes to find Hermione staring down at him with an odd expression on her face along with Luna who was staring intently at the left side of his face.
"What?" he groaned. "Why did you decide to wake me up at . . ." He glanced at the clock. "Four in the morning?"
"When were you going to tell us that you enslaved Tonks?!" Hermione demanded, bouncing a bit for emphasis. "We dislike having to find these things out from other people, Harry."
"Did she tell you that?" Harry mumbled, trying to drag himself awake.
"No, Daddy did," Hermione replied. Several hours before. They'd figured Harry would be easier to take advantage of when he was severely sleep deprived.
"It's all a joke," Harry explained. "Happy?"
"We know that," Luna spoke up. "I believe you will find that any annoyance on our part stems from the fact that you did not offer to carry either or both of us around which was quite thoughtless of you since it sound like it would be quite fun."
Hermione's blush confirmed Luna's statement.
"Fine," Harry sighed. "I'll give both of you rides around the house. Happy?"
"I believe that I speak for Hermione when I say that I'm going to have to insist on adding a large penalty, since you did not do this for us earlier and due to the fact that you did not immediately tell us about this new source of recreation," Luna replied. "If anyone should be riding you it should be us! Am I correct in my speculation, Hermione?"
"Yes, Luna," the blushing girl agreed. Her eyes widened, a deep blush colored her features, and she was both vexed and relieved that the innuendo seemed to go straight over Harry and, surprisingly after the talk they'd endured with the Lady of the Granger house, Luna's head as well. Or perhaps not, the amended after seeing a hint of a smirk forming on her best female friend's mouth. She wasn't sure either way. It was always hard to tell what was going on in Luna's mind.
"Fine," Harry said, pulling the pillow over his face to block out the light. "Now will you let me get back to sleep?"
IIIIIIIIII
The doorman looked down at the two gingers with a frown. It wasn't just his job to keep the riff raff out of the club, his job was also to act as the first line of security, and it was his job on the line if he made a mistake. He made a quick evaluation of the two and quickly decided that there was no way in hell either of the pair was getting though.
"Is there something you gentlemen need?" he demanded in a decidedly unfriendly tone that usually worked to clear off all but the most determined solicitor.
"We're supposed to meet with someone named, um," he glanced down a piece of paper in his hand. "Charles Peel at the Diogenes Club," the left ginger replied uncertainty.
"Are you sure it wasn't the Drones Club, sirs?" the doorman asked, eyeing them doubtfully. The two specimens in front of him seemed like exactly the sort that would seek membership in the other club and the membership of the other club was exactly the sort which would confuse the names and locations.
"We're sure it was the Diogenes Club," the left Ginger stated.
"Might be a couple hours early," the right ginger added. "We wanted to be sure we wouldn't be late if we had trouble finding the place."
"What are your names?" the doorman demanded, thinking it unlikely that either of the pair actually had an appointment and a bit vexed they knew the name of the club's most prominent, and secretive, member.
"Weasley," the left ginger said. "I'm Fred-"
"-and I'm George."
"And you're sure this is the club that you're supposed to go to?" the doorman persisted, stalling for time as the plain clothes security guards began to converge.
"This is the club, isn't it, George?" Fred demanded.
"It's the one Harry told us to go to," George agreed.
"That wouldn't be Harry Potter, would it?" the doorman asked intently.
"It would be," Fred agreed. "Does that make a difference?"
"A very big one," the doorman agreed, suddenly very accommodating, and signaling for the rest of the security force to break off. "In the future, be sure to state from the beginning that you're here on behalf of Mr. Potter to avoid any possibility of there being a misunderstanding. Wait one moment, I'll have someone escort you to your meeting." He tapped a hidden button and the trio was soon joined by a large serious looking man in a dark suit.
"What is it?" the large humorless man growled, seeing the two and figuring he was being called in too scare off some undesirables, having seen the alert signal and the all clear that meant the potential security threat had been downgraded.
"They say they have a meeting here in a couple hours," the doorman replied.
"What's in the case?" the large man demanded, glaring down at the twins.
"Product samples," Fred said helpfully.
"They say that Mr. Potter sent them," the doorman said helpfully.
"Then they won't mind if I call Mr. Potter to confirm this," the humorless man stated firmly. "Will they?"
"Not at all," George said quickly, more than intimidated by the reception they'd gotten so far.
"In fact, we insist on it," Fred agreed, similar thoughts dancing through his head. Just who in the hell was Harry involved with and just what in the hell had he gotten them into?
"Wait here," the large man ordered.
IIIIIIIIII
Harry was just sitting down to breakfast when the butler arrived with an antique looking telephone on a silver tray.
"Phone for you, sir."
"Thanks," Harry said. Trying to pin down who had both the technical ability and the desire that wasn't already in the house. "Harry, here." He listened for a few moments. "Yes, but the meeting I arranged isn't for a couple hours." He paused to think. "Put them in a waiting room and tell Charlie that I would suggest sending for one of my sort to make sure that they twins are not impostors." He listened to the phone for a bit. "Actually, a quick way you can do it is to ask them where they got the money to start their shop. My Triwizard winnings is the answer." Harry listened to the reply. "No problem, happy to help, bye."
IIIIIIIIII
Fred and George jumped when the large humorless man placed a ham sized hand on each of their shoulders.
"Mr. Potter says that you two are early," the man announced. "Why don't you two tell me how you got the money to start your business?"
"Harry gave it to us," Fred said quickly.
"It's the money he got from being forced to compete in a tournament," George added. "One thousand . . . uh . . . total."
"Name of the tournament?" the man persisted.
The twins shared a glance. "Triwizard."
"Come with me," the man ordered. "I'll show you to a room you can wait in until your meeting. There is a connected lavatory. Pull the cord if you need anything or if you get hungry. Do not leave the room under any circumstances without an escort. Is that understood?"
"Seems clear enough," Fred replied.
"Simple enough," George agreed. Privately, both boys were still wondering what in the hell Harry had gotten them into though much more optimistic than they had been just a few short minutes before after seeing how rich the waiting room was.
IIIIIIIIII
The twins hadn't been waiting for long when the door swung open to admit a white haired man with a slightly unkempt handlebar mustache and a face marked by years of stress.
"Harry sent you?" the man asked.
"He did," George agreed.
"Great. I'm Charlie, your potential customer."
"Pleased to meet you, Charlie," Fred said, holding out his hand to be shaken. "I'm Fred and this is my twin-"
"-George."
"To start with, how do you two know Harry?" Charlie asked with a grin.
"From school," Fred replied.
"He's also our business partner," George added.
"Business partner?" Charlie burst into laughter. "He charges me ten thousand pounds and a ten percent finders fee for everything we get from you and he's your business partner? Boy's spending way too much time around Phil."
"If it helps-" Fred began.
"-we may have neglected to mention the fact that he owns a third of the company to him," George finished.
"Even better," Charlie laughed. "The fact that you two are Harry's partners changes things considerably."
"Is that good or bad?" Fred asked cautiously.
"Very good. Now, I understand that you two are inventors?"
"We are," George agreed.
"I've had a chance to go over several of your inventions and I like them. What's more, I like the idea of modifying them to better suit my purposes. What I'd like to do is license your designs for my company's use and maybe to have you do a bit of manufacturing for us." He scratched his chin. "Possibly a bit of product development as well. Depending on how well you get on with my tech people."
The twins shared a look. "I think we might be able to do business," they offered.
"Great, when can we start?"
"After we have a chance to speak with Harry," Fred said quickly but firmly. Hoping to stall for time to figure things out.
"We'd be happy to leave our samples here or give a product demonstration if you like," George said quickly. "We came prepared to give a demonstration, we did not come prepared to work out a deal right here and right now."
"Harry's the brains when it comes to that stuff," Fred sighed, realizing that it was true and that he and his brother were in way over their head.
"We're just the inventors," George agreed cheerfully, deliriously happy at the prospect of dumping the hard boring stuff into someone else's lap.
"He's the brains behind your business and you didn't tell him that either?" Charlie chuckled. "How bout you two come back here with him later?"
"Deal!" Fred said quickly.
"Would you like us to demonstrate our samples first?" George said quickly.
"Why don't we save that till Harry gets here," Charlie suggested. "It will also give me a chance to wrestle my tech people away from whatever they're doing."
"We'll have Harry set something up," Fred agreed. "Thank you, Charlie."
"Anything for Harry's business partners," Charlie said. He opened the door and stuck his head out. "Get them a car to wherever they want to go. I suspect that where they'll want to go is the Granger family's country house."
"Sir!" the twins heard the guards agreed.
"You two have breakfast yet?" Charlie asked.
"Not-"
"-yet."
"See if you can get them something to eat too," Charlie ordered. "Now if you two will excuse me, I really must get back to work."
"We'll be back-"
"-as soon as we can," Fred promised.
"Whenever works for Harry works for me," Charlie replied, appearing to be supremely unconcerned by the whole thing. "Thank you for stopping by, I look forward to your next visit." Hopefully it would at least be half as amusing as this one had been.
The twins exchanged a glance, looked like things weren't looking quite so bad after all. They'd thought partnering with Harry would lead them to good things. Nice to have themselves proven correct so quickly.
IIIIIIIIII
Phil watched in shock as a much put upon Harry walked past his office with Luna in his arms being trailed by his daughter.
"Faster!" Luna demanded.
"It's my turn on Harry in another four minutes," Hermione reminded the two, sounding imperious. "Don't tire him out too much."
"Let's find another stair case!" Luna giggled.
He carefully closed the door and turned to his wife, hoping by all that was holy that she could shed some light on the situation.
"The surprised him in the middle of the night and told him that they were the only ones that were allowed to ride him," Anne giggled.
"What?" he asked dumbly.
"They heard about his little joke with Ms. Tonks and got jealous," Anne explained. "Then, they woke him from a sound sleep and made him promise to give them rides. I heard it from one of the maids that heard it from the footman that was outside the door listening in to make sure that Hermione's virtue was safe." The man had nearly kicked down the door when he'd heard the subject that was being discussed.
"They're still doing that?" Phil chuckled. "From the sounds of things, it's Harry's that's in the most danger."
"True. But that's not what kept him from bursting in. He couldn't believe that our little Hermione could be so vulgar and was sure that there had to be an innocent explanation for what was being discussed," Anne agreed.
IIIIIIIIII
Harry staggered into the main entrance way with Hermione on his shoulders, demanding that he go faster and threatening to flog him if he didn't. Well, he thought to himself, at least they were enjoying themselves. Though he did wish that they weren't quite so enthusiastic about getting into the spirit of things.
"Fetch me my riding crop!" Hermione ordered imperiously. "Please, Mr. Johnson," she added addressing the man who'd treated her first skinned knee, with a smile.
"I think the three of you are a bit young to take things that far," the valet said with a poorly concealed grin.
"Urk." Hermione blushed a deep red as she remembered some of the more unusual questions Luna had asked her mother and the answers they'd received. "I . . . that wasn't . . . um . . . I didn't . . . that is to say . . ." the girl sputtered.
"My turn again!" Luna cheered.
"Visitors for Mr. Harry," the butler announced, drawing attention to the two gaping Weasley twins who'd seen and heard just enough to get the wrong, or perhaps right, conclusion.
"Cor, he makes it look so easy," Fred said, eyes shining with envy.
"We know the secret now," George assured his twin. "That'll be us soon."
"Soon," Fred agreed, eyes shining.
"What do you two need?" Harry asked.
"Your help," Fred said bluntly.
"We may have given you a third of our company," George admitted. "We also might be a bit out of our league when it comes to this business stuff."
"That's why we decided to make that your responsibility," Fred added. "We'll invent things, test things, and build things. You deal with the business."
"Right." Harry carefully lifted Hermione off his shoulders and put her on the ground. "Hermione, could you tell your father what's happening and that I'd like his advice if he has a moment."
"Alright, Harry," the girl agreed. "Coming, Luna?"
"Right behind you, Hermione," Luna agreed.
Harry turned to the butler. "Is there some place nearby that we can use to have a quick business meeting?"
"Right this way, Mr. Harry," the butler agreed.
"Thank you," Harry replied. He gestured for the twins to follow him.
"How'd you arrange to stay in such a big house, Harry?" Fred asked, awed by the size of the place. It was absolutely massive.
"It belongs to Hermione's parents, they're letting me stay with them over the winter holidays," Harry replied.
The butler opened a large ornately carved oak door and motioned for them to enter the richly furnished room.
"Do you gentlemen require any refreshments?" the butler asked.
"Not at this time, thank you," Harry said after a quick confirming glance at the twins.
"Ring the bell if you need anything," the butler instructed as he closed the door.
"So what's this about?" Harry asked.
The twins spent a few minutes telling their business partner about their meeting and the fact that it had made them realize that they were over their heads.
"We'll talk to Hermione's father about it, he'll know what to do," Harry decided. "Was there anything else you needed?"
"You know that Ron's started a custom broom shop?" Fred asked.
"I know that he was thinking about it," Harry replied.
"He's been contracted to supply brooms for the Harpies, beater bats too," George said.
"Good for him," Harry commented with a smile. "I knew he could do it."
"He can't," Fred said softly. "At least, we don't think he can."
"Why not?"
"He's got a bit more business sense than we do, but that's not saying a whole lot," George admitted cheerfully.
"He doesn't have a good source of seasoned wood, he doesn't have professional tools," Fred listed a couple more things.
"He also needs a bit of ready cash to get started," Fred said slowly.
"We'd like to set him up with our backer," George agreed.
"Who's your . . . oh." Harry blinked. "Tell him to send his business proposal to Hermione. When she thinks it looks good, I'll meet with Ron."
"We'd also like to toss in a few galleons," Fred added. "We can't spare much, well, unless this contract you set up goes through, but-"
"We really think our little brother is on to something," George explained.
"Hermione thinks the proposal looks good, I'll sit down with him. After I sit down with him, I'll make a decision."
"No problem," Fred agreed. "Harpies adore him so they're willing to wait. Other customers don't and won't."
"Tell him to stall for now," Harry ordered. "Have him mention that he's got a big custom order for the Harpies and that the best he can do is put them on a waiting list."
"Right-"
"-thanks, Harry," George said in relief, glad that the boy at least gave the appearance of knowing what he was doing.
The door opened and Phil strolled in with the girls closely on his heels. "I understand you had a business problem?"
"We do," Harry agreed. "I was hoping you'd let me pick your brain on ways to screw Charlie out of more money."
"Something I'm always happy to see happen and even happier to help make happen," Phil agreed, grinning at the three boys. "Have a seat, Darling," he said, stopping Hermione from sneaking out of the room.
"But daddy, business is boring."
"True, but it allows me to make enough money to buy you those books you like so much so I expect you to know enough to do it yourself after I'm gone," he retorted. "You can stay or leave as the mood takes you, Luna."
"I'll stay." Luna grabbed Hermione by the wrist and dragged the other girl to Harry's chair and pushed the older girl onto the boy's lap before squeezing in beside them.
Fred and George watched as the girls made themselves comfortable. Voldemort was so screwed and they were going to be so rich.
IIIIIIIIII
Amelia looked up when the door flung open and someone wearing her face burst into the room, turned, and began layering dozens of security charms on the door after closing it and carefully engaging every one of the locks.
"What's this about, Auror Tonks?" Amelia demanded, fingering her wand and wondering if she wasn't about to go down in some sort of heroic last stand.
"Wards at your place tripped. Susan's fine with the Grangers," Tonks replied. "Get into the panic room!"
"I'm sure I'm . . ." her jaw dropped in astonishment when Tonks bodily lifted her from her chair. The Auror then peeled back the carpet with her foot to reveal a trap door.
"Boss, you're either going to go in on your own or I can throw you in. I believe that someone is testing your security, I don't know that. I do know that if they're gonna get you, then they're going to have to work at it and they're going to have to go through me first. I refuse to make it easy for them." Tonks was breathing hard. "Now are you going to go in willingly or am I going to have to throw you in? I don't care which."
"You may have fifteen minutes, Auror Tonks," Amelia said coldly. "Then, the two of us are going to have words. Very hard words about your conduct today."
"I don't mind you yelling at me, boss, so long as you're not a ghost that is. Now get in!" She carefully dragged the carpet back over the concealed trap door and replaced the chair. A slow count to ten brought her heart beat under control. Time to see what she could see.
IIIIIIIIII
The meeting was just winding down when the door opened to admit one of the Granger family's burly drivers.
"Susan Bones just arrived with her security detail, sir, they say the wards got tripped by something," the driver reported.
"How are ours doing?" Phil asked.
"They say they're doing alright," the driver replied.
"If I may," Harry interjected.
"Please," Phil agreed.
"Have Susan and the detail checked by your magical people to make sure that they're them and that they're free of compulsions," Harry ordered. "If they are, Have Susan brought to the green room and have the guards sent back to the Ministry if they'll go. Send someone to tell Madame Bones that her niece is safe if they aren't."
"Right," the driver agreed. "Anything else?"
"Not from you," Harry stated.
The driver's eyes flicked to his boss.
"Nothing I can think of," Phil replied. "Anyone else?" he glanced around the room. "Thank you, Thomas."
"No problem, sir," the driver replied.
"Must be trying to make up for what happened with the Harpies," George murmured, thinking aloud as he tried to process what was happening.
"What happened with the Harpies?" Hermione prompted.
"Death Eaters surprised them in the locker room and were going to kill all the muggleborn and half-blood players. Purebloods wouldn't leave their teammates so the Death Eaters decided to kill them all," Fred began.
"Then our baby brother showed up to save the day," George finished proudly. "Walked up right behind them when they weren't looking and provided a big enough distraction for the Harpies to close the distance and take out the rest."
"Is Ron okay?" Hermione gasped.
"Fine," Fred agreed.
"Better than fine," George laughed. "Harpies were very thankful for the save. He came home covered in lip marks. "
"Why wasn't this in the Prophet?" Hermione demanded.
"Either the Ministry is leaning on them to keep it quiet-" Fred said.
"-or it's because it just happened last night and they haven't had time to print it," George mused.
"May I use your floo, please?" Luna asked. "I'm sure this is something Father would like to add to tomorrow's edition of the Quibbler."
"Go ahead," Phil replied. "I'm going to go meet with Madame Bones."
"I'll go with you," Harry said. "If nothing else, fame is useful for getting past secretaries." He turned to Hermione. "Would you mind sitting with Susan while we're gone? I can't imagine that this is easy for her."
"Of course," Hermione agreed. "Care to join me after you're finished speaking with your father, Luna?"
"I'd be delighted to," the little blonde agreed.
"What do you want us to do-"
"-Harry?"
"Wait here if you can," Harry asked. "We'll all go extort money from Charlie later today if we have enough time and his schedule is open."
"Right!" George agreed.
"We've got some things Ron told us that your father might want to include in his article, Luna," Fred added.
"Come along then," the little blonde commanded.
IIIIIIIIII
Hannah was in the middle of a nasty potions essay when her mother burst into the room and grabbed her by the arm.
"What's wrong, mum?" Hannah asked.
"Grab your bug-out bag," the woman commanded.
"Mum?"
"Something happened at Susan's house, we need to leave and we don't have a lot of time to talk about it first," the woman explained.
"Right." Hannah felt sick as she grabbed the pack she'd prepared for the occasion and followed her mother out of the room. "Where are we going, mum?"
"You're going some place safe. I'm going to St. Mungos," the woman replied.
"Mum?"
"They're going to need healers if something's happened," she explained. The woman threw a handful of floo into the fireplace. "Safe house!" She didn't know where it went, just that Amelia had assured her it was a secure place. "Go, I'll join you later."
"Goodbye, mum," Hannah said, hugging the woman and hoping desperately that it wouldn't be for the last time.
"I'll see you later, Hannah," she promised. "Now go!"
Hannah flew out of the floo and into the arms of a very surprised Luna Lovegood.
"What are you doing here, Hannah?" Luna demanded.
Neither girl paid the slightest amount of notice to the dozen or so security people in the room as the conversed.
"Susan's house got attacked and mum made me come here to be safe," Hannah said in a rush. "I didn't know I'd be coming to your house."
"You didn't, you're in Hermione's," Luna replied. "Could you please get off me? I was just finishing a conversation with father. I'll take you to Susan when I'm finished."
"Alright," Hannah agreed, letting her heart slow down. "Do you know what happened?"
"Just that Susan is okay and that Harry is going to rescue her aunt," Luna said, tossing a pinch of dust into the fire. "Lovegood shack!"
"Luna?" Her father's head appeared. "What happened?"
"Someone arrived through the floo and cut us off," the little blonde replied. "I did not wish to end out conversation without saying farewell."
"Farewell, Luna. Be sure to read the Quibbler tomorrow, your story about the Harpies will be on the front page."
"Thank you, father," Luna replied as the connection cut. "Come this way, Hannah."
Hannah followed the other girl out of the room and down what seemed like a dozen halls and staircases.
"This is Hermione's house?" Hannah gasped.
"She says it's only her weekend and holiday house," Luna replied. "I understand that she has another in London."
"Two houses?" Hannah squeaked. "How rich is she?"
"Rich enough to buy and sell the Malfoy family a dozen times without noticing it I suspect," Luna said, scratching her chin. "I wouldn't advise asking her."
"She wouldn't like it?"
"She wouldn't know. Ask her father if you want something accurate. Hermione has absolutely no interest in business."
"Oh."
Luna came to a stop in front of a large door and took a deep breath. "This is Hermione's room. Harry's is the one next to it."
"Okay?"
"Have you calmed down?" Luna asked softly.
"What?"
"Susan was quite distraught when she arrived here earlier, I dare say that Hermione will not have changed that in the short time they were alone together. If you are calm and I am calm and Hermione is calm, it will be much easier to calm Susan than if you were not calm. Panic is very contagious, calm is also, but less so. Do you understand?" Luna stared a the other girl for a few seconds, waiting patiently for an answer.
"Yeah," Hannah agreed, letting out a breath. "I'll be okay. I was mostly worried about Susan. She's okay so I am too."
"Good." Luna threw open the door to reveal Hermione doing her best to console a sobbing Susan Bones.
"Sue," Hannah cried, rushing to the other girl's side. "I'm so glad you're okay."
"What about Aunt Amelia?" Susan sobbed.
"Your aunt will be fine," Luna assured the older girl. "Harry's there to look after her and Harry Potter always comes through. Who else can say they defeated Vol-Voldemort?" she winced slightly at the way she stuttered the name.
"Yeah," Susan agreed softly. "Too bad he couldn't save Cedric."
"That was after he'd won a deadly tournament and got ambushed," Luna replied. "He went expecting trouble this time, Harry can't lose." The girl's eyes were shining, it was clear that she believed every word she was saying. "He doesn't know how to."
"He's also got your Aunt Amelia to help him," Hermione added, doing her best to hide her nervousness.
"And all your Aunt's Aurors," Luna giggled. "Not even Volde-" she gulped "-him is stupid enough to tangle with all that."
"I guess so," Susan said despondently.
"They're right, Sue," Hannah assured her friend. "Everything will be fine. Your aunt will be here before you know it."
AN: Another reference in Charlie's family name, this one historical and dating to the first professional police force. Couple other references as well. Also included another cross with the other club. I keep looking for a place to have Hermione's father lament that he'd always wished he could have gotten membership in the Drones Club. It'd have been much quieter in some ways and he was sure he could learn to tolerate company of idiots.
