The bell rings loudly to her ears signaling the whole school that they are free to go and grab lunch, hang with friends, or jump out the school gates and run. Students rushing through the hallways eager to satisfy their hungry stomachs are an everyday scene here.
A girl trudged lazily on her way to the library- dragging her feet that seemed to weigh twice than normal. Grumbling under her breath how hungry she is, her stomach is protesting, rumbling, and practically begging for some food, but her coin purse is hungry too… damn those school projects! Her weekly allowance that her old neighbor kindly gave to her in exchange for help cleaning the dishes at his ramen stand, are all gone. Gone just like that. Thanks to that, now she's hungry like a bear who just came out of its cave after hibernating.
"I feel like I'm going crazy," maybe she is crazy now talking to herself and thinking about hungry bears in the middle of school hallways of all places. Other students are eying her, giggling like she cannot hear and see them. Damn them, damn this school, damn this life.
She started walking faster ignoring all the prying eyes that drilled holes behind her. It has always been like this. She's treated like an entertainment, they are waiting for her to burst and launch at them, they are waiting for her to fail, they are waiting for her to crumble, and they will laugh at her. Just look straight and don't mind them. It will do her no good if she jumps at them right now. Yes, not now. Sighing, her eyes landed on the library's sign and a feeling of relief filled her. A good nap and a good book will solve her hunger.
Or so she thought.
She rolled her eyes, scoffing at the three figures who stopped in front of her. They are all around her age, but she's taller than most of them. They look at her with a smug grin, their black hair joining the direction of the wind. An eerie silence enveloped them since this part of the school grounds are mostly empty, because children like her tend to spend time at the playground, cafeteria, or the school garden. While she, unlike all the students, will spend her free time reading or taking a nap at the library. Sometimes, she'll spend her time at a school's fire exit, eating her lunch away from everyone's eyes.
Looking at the three boys she couldn't help but blow a frustrated sigh. She needs to get away from them quickly, her hungry mind and stomach aren't helping her at all.
"What do you want?" she directed her question at the boy in the middle who's acting like he's some kind of a leader. She wants nothing but to punch his cocky grin off of his face.
"Oh, is Kaito-chan gonna fight again?" she visibly cringed to the added honorific to her name like they were close friends and fond of each other. "You know you can't fight us, right?" he continued with a condescending tone. That's right, she couldn't fight them. One more offense then she's going to pack her bag and leave this damn school.
Like she cares about that? Everyone is always looking for a fight with her because they know that she's all alone. No one's going to rush here demanding for their beloved daughter's bullies. No one will make a fuss when they see her bruised face at the end of the day, no one will care if the school kicks her out, no one. Maybe except for the old man with a ramen stand, he seemed to be dedicated to wanting her to go to school. But she won't ask him to come here, ever. He wasn't even her guardian, hell, she doesn't even have a surname. The teachers just write her name as Kaito Kaito in school records.
These. These are all the reasons why these bullies are not leaving her alone. They feel like they are above her, maybe they are. And the teachers won't listen to her complaints, the bullies will twist the story to fit their narratives. And to be honest, Kaito doesn't care. Feeling their skin against her knuckles was enough for her. She got into a total of 10 fights now, the recorded ones. She can't help it.
She's all alone in this big and cold cold world.
The only reason why she's still staying in this school is that old man. He's the one who gave her name, he's also the one who feeds her every night after washing the dishes. That's why he told her, told her that in order for her to leave this miserable life she was thrust into, she needed to finish school.
"But old man, what if this school is the reason why I'm living in hell?" The old man gave a hearty chuckle at the small girl's question. She's eating her bowl of ramen sadly, which is unusual. That's why he asked how her day in school went. He looks fondly at the girl with tear streaked cheeks. How bad must her day really went, he knew that this girl doesn't like to cry 'I'm a big girl now!' she'd always say.
Sighing, he sat beside her and gave her a warm smile. This small girl deserves all the love and happiness in this big world. He can still remember when he saw a 3 year old Kaito sleeping beside the busy highway. What has this cruel world done to this child? He thought while looking at her. Her jet black hair has gotten longer now. She looked at him with wide blue eyes, the bluest eyes he's ever seen. He wondered for a moment which of her parents had blue eyes.
"Well, you need to overcome those obstacles, remember that there is no easy way out of this horrible life." He answered while ruffling her hair affectionately. "And it will be worth it, trust me" the old man smiled at her before standing up to continue his work.
Kaito shakes her head hard, erasing the distant memory. She focused on the three idiots in front of her, as much as she wants to punch the living daylights out of this asshole's smug face, she can't risk getting expelled. Maybe she will just wait after school. Sounds like a great plan.
A small smile graced Kaito's face and she walked towards them until she's inches away from the boy in the middle. "I know that, no need to remind me" she whispered to him.. The boy falters with Kaito's close proximity, she watched him gulp and the urge to laugh at him is strong. He lifted his chin higher attempting to intimidate her, but to no avail, she stood her ground.
"But once we are out of this school I will fight you there, idiot" she hissed.
She knows that she won, now that the boy is silent and Kaito walked past him. I still have time to visit the library to sleep or read.
The human anatomy sure is amazing, she can't believe that under this endless skin and flesh lies a machine-like organs to keep our body working. Kaito closed the book she was reading with a loud thud then she released another deep sigh. She likes reading these kinds of books, she was always fascinated on how the body works, who wouldn't anyway? These books were keeping her warring mind at ease. And as for her stomach who's in the middle of a war, she placed a hand on her stomach and as if on cue it started producing a rumbling sound.
Another sigh escaped her lips for a - hundredth time this day -, Kaito walked to the tall shelves and started putting away the books she's been reading. It sure is quiet around here, she thought while walking leisurely between the bookshelves. A few students are here, studying or giggling at each other's gossip, some are older than them, maybe they are in 7th grade, she wondered.
After finishing her tasks, the bell rings reminding them that their lunch break is over.
Time to head back and- before this thought could even finish processing on her mind, a movement in her peripherals caught her attention and stopped her in her tracks.
She slowly turned her head to the right, afraid of the possibility that someone or something might jump on her, but instead an empty corner's what greeted her. And so, she dismissed it with a shrug. Kaito was about to continue on her way again when she saw it again. This time she's sure of it, something or someone is moving. She turned her whole body abruptly then what she saw in the corner made her jaw slacken from its rightful place.
She can't believe what she's seeing.
For a moment she thought that this was just a hallucination, her stomach is empty after all. Without noticing it, her small and careful pace is carrying her towards it. And now that she has a clear view of it she noticed that it was like a black hole.
Slowly, Kaito approached the circular wonders. The sound of her heart beating wildly is the only thing she could hear. It drowned everything around her.
Kaito's big azure eyes are in awe, it was the size of a wall clock. What is this thing? She stopped just a foot before it and what she saw made everything magical and terrifying at the same time.
Everything around her became silent and a blur, even her own heartbeat.
A clear endless blue sky, green grass, and very tall and thick trees greeted her curious eyes. This wonderful scenery adorned inside the black hole looks like a painting. Her curious mind is running with different scenarios on what will happen if she tries to squeeze her small frame inside it. Will she die?
"I would never know if I wouldn't try," she whispered to herself. She lifts her arm slowly, very slow to her own liking. The drumming of her heart inside her chest is present again, it was loud and it was asking her to stop moving.. but she can't.
Her hand was just inches away from the black hole-like thing, a cold wind touches Kaito's skin, enveloping her and lulling her to come forth to it. Her wide azure windows are devoid of emotions. It sucked her in, she was aware of that but somehow a feeling of calmness fills her empty being. It calls her, and she needs it. She needs this calmness and peace, she needs it in order to feel whole for once, she needs something to cling onto this life.
Just a few more and she will let it suck her in, a small smile formed on her lips, ah… then suddenly the picturesque scenery vanished just like that.
Kaito blinked as if waking up from a short nap, her arm still hanging in the air, reaching for something that wasn't there. The sound of the school's bell ringing woke her senses and she's suddenly aware of her surroundings. Some students were looking at her weirdly but she ignored them. Her brows are furrowed, still confused. What the heck was that?. The school bell is ringing loudly in her ears. It was as if everything that she saw and felt didn't happen at all.
It feels like hours have already passed though.
She released the breath she's been holding and groaned loudly. "Right, it was just a child's mind playing tricks on me" Kaito slapped both of her hands on her cheeks hard in an attempt to wake herself from this hallucination. The wonderful scenery will be forever engraved on her mind.
It must be nice to live a peaceful life in that place.
Amidst all the students who were walking back to class, there was an old man in a janitor's uniform watching the girl quietly.
The school finally ended. Kaito was itching to get out of this place and feel some fresh air, also, to eat something. This day was unbelievably long, every minute that has passed is making her on edge. The warm weather refreshed her exhausted mind. Nothing eventful happened today, except for that hallucination she experienced in the library. It lingers in the back of her mind reminding her that peace is possible. The painting that feels real emits peace.
When was the last time she genuinely felt at peace? When the old man gave her hot ramen? When the old man gave her a home? Though, it wasn't a normal home you'd expect to see. It was an old abandoned shed, he helped her make it look a little like home. Maybe that was the only peace she has felt in her entire life.
The old man tried to leave her in an orphanage when he first saw her, but that really didn't work for her as everyone annoys her and well, her temper is kinda thin. She only lasted a week in an orphanage and the old man said the reason why they kicked her out and planned to transfer her to another orphanage is that she bit and punched everyone who would lay a hand on her. Kaito cringed at the thought. But hey, at least she's living her life rather peacefully right now . Or not.
All in all, she is content that she has her old man. A little normalcy wouldn't hurt, right?
She started her long way home thinking about asking the old man for a bowl of ramen. The old man who gave her a name is unbelievably kind to her, he gave her a reason to look forward to in a day and he's helping her forget how lonely this life is. And of course she still longs for the warmth of a mother and a father but what can she do about that? Finding them renders useless at her age. Despite all this, she was still thankful that she has her old man, the only precious person in her life.
The street is mostly empty which is really odd. It's after school hours, students should be walking home too. Kaito just continued walking, she ignored the drumming in her chest and acted like there's nothing bugging on her mind.
This day just keeps on getting weirder she shudders. With her heart in her throat she continued on walking, paranoid about the possibility that something will come out lashing on her and she will be so shocked it will make her heart stop beating. She will lie in the middle of an empty road, dead. And worst, hungry. Okay, that was overly dramatic.. Seriously, Kaito? You want to be a novelist this bad? This is not the time to daydream about hideous and yet possible things to happen.
This road seems to go on forever. She's been walking for 20 minutes now but the sight of her lovely little home is nowhere. Did I just turn the wrong way? It usually would only take her 15 minutes or so of walking to get home.
She stopped in her tracks and looked around, that was where she noticed. The realization finally dawned in her. The sound of her heartbeat is too much in her ears. Her azure eyes look frantically around. Birds, familiar houses, walls, street lights, and cloudless sky.
This can't be happening.
…She has been walking in the same street all this time.
Looking towards her destination, her ocular windows are glued at the end of the street where she is supposed to turn right. With a newfound determination, Kaito ran. She ran so fast without blinking, afraid that it would vanish if she did so. When it feels like she didn't move at all in her place she groaned inwardly thinking it was all because of her small frame. She hates this feeling, the feeling of being powerless to achieve something.
Why can't I reach the end? Her forehead is covered with an angry perspiration. Chest heaving with the lack of oxygen. Her legs are still moving and in each step she takes, the feeling of drowning in a scary sea meets her.
This is a nightmare.
Is the only thing she can think of.
Someone please wake me up.
Kaito's legs gave up and she fell on her knees. Both of her hands clutched her chest tightly. Barely feeling anything, even the fabric of her school uniform that she hates. A grimace pasted on her face as a choke of sobs escaped from her lips.
Why?
Just why?
This nightmare feels so real…
A hand on her back made her look to her left, and there she saw him. Her old man is here with a look of complete horror on his wrinkled face. He looked worried and it made her heart soft.
Tears are still streaming down on her cheeks. Her face was red with exhaustion and her lungs wanted to give up. Kaito looked at her old man with question filled eyes.
I'm scared.
Every breath that she takes feels like a chore. She is scared. Funny, how can she be scared if the concept of dying wasn't new to her. She couldn't care less if she dies. But seeing the look of her old man scares her. It was a look of grief and sadness.
She tried smiling at him but it turned out in an ugly sneer. Tears started forming in the corner of his eyes. She can see him shaking her and she can see his mouth moving, calling out for her with inaudible screams.
"Old man" she tries to coax him but to no avail it sounded hoarse and that little act made her gasp as her lungs constricts. Fuck, do I have like an undiagnosed heart disease?
Her old man cradled her in his arms, he's holding her like she's made of sand. A warmth on her cheek made her smile weakly. He held her face dearly. Kaito could not help but notice that her old man is wearing a janitor's uniform. She wanted to voice out her confusion but a series of coughs stopped her.
"Let's get you to a hospital, little one" he voiced out. A reassuring smile is directed at her.
Everything is fine, she will be fine, the old man will take care of her and they will continue living on like normal. She promised that after this she will be a good student and child to him. She will fulfill his dreams of her getting out of this horrible life. As annoying as this thing sounds in her mind it gave her something to hold on to.
But before she could even nod her head to him, a sword-like thing suddenly sticks out to his chest. Blood comes spurring out from his chest, coating his dark gray uniform with an angry red liquid. Panic came and shook her whole being. She momentarily forgot about her air deprived lungs and instead she focused on her old man. There was blood in the corners of his mouth, his bloodshot obsidian eyes stared into her soul. Grayish brows are furrowed in confusion. Her bloodied hand reached out to his face.
No.
"O-old man?" she managed to call out with a small voice. Uncertainty and regret clouded her vision.
"No!" in her mind she's screaming at him but her voice lets out a throaty whisper. Forcing her voice out drained her last remaining energy. She wanted to move and help him. Why can't I move? Move! Old man is dying, why can't I move!?
Her old man gave her a familiar smile. That reassuring smile that she'd come to love, now that she thinks about it. He gave her a pat on her short black hair, ruffling it affectionately.
This nightmare is so cruel.
She cried.
Will this be the last time she'll see this smile?
But he's the only one I got.
"Live" he whispered before life snuffed out of his being.
She feels numb. Kaito doesn't know how long she was staring at her old man's lifeless body. Her chest feels heavy and it was hard to figure out if it was because of her earlier mishaps or if it was because of her old man's death.
Live? She scoffed. What is there to live for?
This feeling of loss and pool of red blood seems like a déjà vu and an image of a moonlit room flashed through her mind. It quickly vanished away when her old man's murderer materializes in front of her.
The woman is clad in odd looking clothes and she looks like she's from another ethnicity she was unfamiliar with. The blowing wind; silent in its journey, hugged and gave Kaito a shiver.
"I have come here to take you home"