CHAPTER 1 - Perseverance
"You take a look. I'm too scared for this."
Temari shove the pregnancy test on Shikamaru's hands. She's shivering with fear and trembling.
"Ok. Come here, sit beside me."
She collapses onto the couch beside him. As his hand reaches out to her back, she burrows into him. Her fingers tangle in his hair and her other hand clutches at his shirt. He wraps an arm around her and pulls her close, running a hand up and down her spine. She sighs as she presses herself closer to him.
This three minutes feels like the longest three minutes in the Tessen Wielder's life now. Temari is running out of patience, but she's too scared to know the results.
"Is it done yet?" She's fidgeting.
"It's positive."
"Oh, shit," she breathes as he holds tighter to him.
The weight lifts off her shoulders slightly, but it doesn't make her feel any better about the situation.
"We'll do whatever you want." Shikamaru hold her hand gently. They made eye contact and Shikamaru realized those green eyes are glistening.
She looks ready to cry. This isn't like Temari at all. He wants to comfort her, but doesn't have the heart for it. This isn't something they can solve with words. All they have are their actions. The Nara heir has seen many things, but nothing like this before. If anything, he feels useless for not doing more.
"First thing first, let's go to the hospital tomorrow morning. We should make sure you... and the baby, are healthy."
He squeezes her hand gently, trying his best to hide his own emotions.
Temari nods, burying her face in his chest as he hugs her tightly. A tear drips from her chin, landing softly against his shirt. She doesn't realize where she is when it falls or that it's still warm.
That night, both of the Suna Ambassador and Hokage Advisor fell asleep on each other arms.
--‐--
Temari woke up with a headache. Crying all night long is really out of character for her, but Shikamaru didn't say anything about that. She got up to sit on the futon and starting to pinch her temples.
"What's wrong?"
Shikamaru walked into the room. He got up early, and it's very unusual of him.
"My head hurts. It's like someone poured concrete inside my brain." She sighed.
Shikamaru looked at her with worry.
"Are you sure everything is ok? You've never gotten migraines before."
"Yeah, I just have a killer headache. Is it normal to have two migraines in one day?"
"No idea. Maybe you'l get one every hour for awhile. At least we're getting some food in your stomach right now. It will help ease the pain."
He set the tray full of breakfast foods in front of her.
"Thank you". Temari's hand reaching for a glass of water.
"Our appointment is at 9. I talked to Sakura early in the morning and she got us in" he said sitting next to her.
Temari drink in silence for a while before talking again.
"I can't" Temari sighed again and put back the glass to the table.
"What.."
"I can't be pregnant, nor i can't raise a baby. It wouldn't work anyways. You, belong here in Konoha and I'm in Suna. It's practically impossible. What about my career as a kunoichi? What about you, about us..." she said.
Her voice cracked at the end and tears started welling up. Shikamaru wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.
"I've said it before. We'll do what you want. Take your time and think about it carefully."
"Thank you. I won't burden you with this" Temari said wiping away the tears.
Shikamaru opened his mouth, but hesitated at last. He closed his mouth again and hug Temari tighter.
"I love you", He mumbled.
"I love you too."
--
Every last cell on Temari's body feels like shrinking when they arrived at the hospital.Her knees are shaking so much that it takes Shikamaru to steady them.
Once they enter the doctor's office, there's no need to pretend to be calm. The sight alone makes her want to run away.
A young nurse leads them to the doctor, who happened to be a middle-aged kunoichi with small, slanted eyes. She smiled and motioned them to two chairs in front of her table.
"Hello, I'm Doctor Koji. What can i do to help you today?" She asks.
Temari is very tense. She tried to answer her question briefly, but words won't coming out from her mouth.
Looking at her uncomfortable girlfriend, who wasn't herself since the moment they found about the pregnancy, Shikamaru rubs her back and answer the question for her.
"Her period is late and we noticed some pregnancy symptoms. Yesterday night she took a home pregnancy test and it came out positive," he replied.
"Well then, we should check it with the ultrasound. To get to know how far along you are is essential. You could also schedule a monthly appointment..."
"It's not necessary," Temari finally could blurt out her words this time.
Shikamaru and the doctor are startled hearing her very first word since they arrived at the hospital.
"It's unplanned. I want to have an abortion." The Sunagakure princess' fist clenched.
"... yes, of course you have options. But it's necessary to check the baby's condition first,"
"Can i just get an operation?"
"No... when is your last period?"
"Do i really have to answer?"
Doctor Koji sighs tiredly. She knows the princess will say something stupid if given the chance.
She decides to ignore the comment and asks Shikamaru.
"May I take a look on her?"
Shikamaru nods.
The doctor wave her hand and the young nurse open up the curtains to an examination bed and a huge machine.
"Alright..." She mumbled and got up from her chair.
Shikamaru holds her hand and lead her to the exam bed. But he didn't say a word and keeps quiet.
The doctor pressed a few buttons and a screen appeared in front of them. The screen is filled with different colors showing how the baby is moving.
"I'd say about 16 weeks along... you're quite far" She commented.
As she spoke, Temari squeezed Shikamaru hand even tighter. He can feel her nails digging his skin. He gently pulls her hand away from him and puts it down on the exam table.
She doesn't say anything. She looks at the screen and stares into space.
He knew that she's scared as hell seeing a child growing inside her stomach.
"We could take a look at the gender too, since it's already clear enough," dr. Koji didn't take off her focus from the screen.
"Well..."
"Is it a girl or a boy?" Shikamaru finally said a word.
"It's a boy," dr. Koji answered with a smile. A loud noise suddenly coming out from the machine. It sounds like sound of thousand horses galloping.
"What is this?" Temari looks flustered.
"It's your baby's heartbeat." Dr. Koji explains.
Temari couldn't believe what she's heard. She wanted to cry, scream, or just do something but all she can do was sit still and listen to the beats on the monitor. It sounded way louder than normal human heart. Even the air around her feels heavy. She then turns to her boyfriend.
Shikamaru is keeping his usual poker face. He looked calm like always, but he has a bit of concern in his eyes.
Doctor Koji wraps up the examination. Temari rushes to sit down and pull back her shirt over. She climbed down the bed, looking very anxious.
"The baby looks healthy..." Doctor Koji smiled.
"I don't wanna think about it. I really don't want to think about it at all. I want it to go away!" Temari's voice breaks. Her eyes are full of tears.
"So... since you're quite far and wants an abortion, it should be done soon."
"I..."
Temari couldn't finish her sentence since Shikamaru grab her shoulder suddenly.
"Sorry, we will be back soon." Shikamaru says to the doctor. He take Temari, a little bit pushy, to the door.
"What's wrong with you? Shika?" Temari tries to let go his tightening grip to her shoulder.
Shikamaru didn't answer and move his hand to Temari's waist. He reap her knees and now picking up Temari - bridal style. The boy take Temari running outside the hospital, leaping, and jumping. It makes them center of attention of people in the way.
"What? Let me go!" Temari cried.
"Sorry," He mumbled and keep running.
--
After nearly an half of hour running like crazy, Shikamaru finally let Temari off his hand.
They were already in a lushy meadow, outskirts of Konoha. Shikamaru sat down on a fallen log, and looked at the sky trying to catch his breath.
"Your usual cloud-watching spot," Temari then realized where they are now.
"I want to ask you something," he stared at her intently, waiting for her reply.
The sun is shining brightly and it hurts her eyes. Temari look at him, confused.
"Okay..."
She waited for Shikamaru to continue, but he didn't say a word. He just continued staring straight into her eyes.
"I know it will sound so selfish of me," He whispered.
Temari slowly walk closer to Shikamaru and stand beside him. He turned to her and grab her shoulder again. This time, very firmly.
"I want you to give birth to my child."
There's nothing but silence after his request. The birds chirp their songs, filling up the atmosphere surrounding them. A breeze blow gently through the flowers and trees. A soft breeze blew over them making Temari shiver lightly.
He pull her close and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"I can't... you having an abortion and get rid of the baby" Shikamaru looked like he really want to cry.
His lips trembled, but not tears fell. His jaw clenched tight.
"If you really doesn't want him, I'll raise him by myself here. In Konoha... You can leave and return to your life in the Sand." His voice was filled with sadness and hurt.
Tears started forming in his eyes. He tried hard to hold back his tears. He closed his eyes tightly as he feel his heart breaking.
"What are you saying? Do you mean you doesn't need me anymore?" She pulled away from him a little bit, looking him in the eye.
"No... Of course I can't imagine my life without you"
"Then... What do you want?" Her face has turn sad and angry. She can't believe what he just said.
Shikamaru look at the ground and try to calm himself down. When he look at Temari she was still looking at him with cold eyes.
""I really don't want you to get an abortion. Please give birth. I beg you."
Temari pulled away from his grasp.
"Shika... I can't do this. I'm not ready for this yet. My life... our life will fall apart. Please... don't force me to do this. Don't push me. I can't do this."
"Are you scared?" Shikamaru asked softly and look at her. Temari looked at him and nodded slowly. She felt weak and drained of all energy. Her vision start turning blurry and tears began to form in her eye sockets.
Shikamaru leaned forward.
"I just can't... abandon my own child like that. Not after hearing his steady heartbeat. Knowing he is healthy and alive," say Shikamaru.
"You can always go back to being a kunoichi. Your life is not ruined, I promise. I know you're always belong to Suna, and will always be. I'm just asking you this one time, please give birth to my child." He continued.
"I saw my own mother dead after giving birth to Gaara years ago. It's still fresh in my memories" Temari whisper weakly.
She finally admits that she's scared of giving birth because of her traumatic past with her late mother. Temari look at her boyfriend. They're both a mess.
"What if i..."
"I won't let anything happens to you" Shikamaru cut her off immediately. His eyes were filled with determination and care. She didn't notice when she cried out loud. She sobbed while crying. She bury her head between his chest and he rub circles on her back. He hugged her tight. She sob harder.
"I'm scared Shika... I'm scared" She said between her sobs.
He kissed her forehead.
"It will be alright. You'll be okay." He reassure her.
A few minutes passed. Her crying subsided. She pulled away a bit. She wipe her tears and sniffed .
"I also think abortion in your current state of pregnancy is very dangerous. I know it's your body, your choice, but because i care about you so fucking much..."
Shikamaru stopped himself mid sentence. He looked at Temari who had tear stains on her cheeks. She looked exhausted and vulnerable.
He caress her cheek, "I love you..."
Tears fall again on Temari's cheek. Her usual composure-self, is gone. She nodded at last.
"II love you too, Shikamaru," She muttered and leaned to his chest.
They stood side by side, holding each other tightly, until the sun reached it's peak and disappeared behind the clouds.
Temari doesn't remember how the day after their emotional talk in the meadow went. Everything is blurry, and all she remembers is Shikamaru never let go of her hands until they reached his apartment.
Tired, she decided to take a quick nap. When Temari wakes up a couple hours later, she doesn't feel any pain nor headache anymore. She looks around and saw Shikamaru standing in front of the window.
Shikamaru turned around to look at Temari when he heard her movements.
He walks towards her and sit down beside her.
"Are you okay?"
"Couldn't be better."
"That's a relief." He said and wrap his arms around her pulling her closer.
Temari wraps his arms around her as well.
They sit there, holding eachother for what seems like forever.
They stay like that for minutes, enjoying the feeling of each other. Then, Shikamaru slowly breaks the hug. He stares directly in her eyes.
"Can I tell you something?" His voice reaches her ear.
Temari nods and leans forward, listening to every word she says.
"When we first found out you were pregnant... I was happy" He smiles at her and takes a deep breath, "But I didn't expect that the happiness and hope would disappear when you told me you wanted to abort the baby."
"I don't know if I can handle the responsibilities... you know, the baby and everything..." Temari feel bad for her boyfriend.
"That doesn't mean you have to carry it alone. You have me, and I am going to help you every step of the way. We will figure this out together." Shikamaru then tighten his embrace.
"I won't leave you alone. I'll take care of you two... you and our baby,"
And then it hit her.
This child, wasn't just Temari's. Or Shikamaru's. It's theirs.
"Wait... did you say 'our'?"
Shikamaru smiled softly, "Yes. Our baby."
Temari smiled, "Our baby."
A comfortable silence fell upon them. They both looking out the window, the sun has set and night was approaching.
Temari lean her head on his shoulder. Their baby inside her tummy. A warm fuzzy feeling inside her.