Disclaimer: I don't own Lobotomy Corporation as it is owned by Project Moon. I also don't own the Touhou Project which is owned by ZUN.
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'Thoughts'
"Speaking"
"YELLING"
"Spell Cards/Moves"
-Time-
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-Hakurei Shrine-
Reimu Hakurei was reading the newspaper right now, sent to her by Aya Shameimaru.
"What lies has she put on paper, this time?" Reimu asked as she began to read the articles about weird sightings. "It's not even real. She's probably doing that to get more coverage."
The Shrine Maiden threw the newspaper away and walked outside and saw a small bird with a red belly sitting on the top of the torii gate leading to the stairs of the Hakurei Shrine.
"I've never seen you before," Reimu said. The small bird was none other than Punishing Bird, and he tilted his head at the Miko. "Are you hungry?"
Punishing Bird flew at Reimu and began pecking at her.
"Ow ow ow ow ow ow!" Reimu shouted in pain. The reason for this was because Punishing Bird did not like her laziness and greed. "Hey stop ow ow ow ow that!"
She was annoyed at this. Birds are usually not that aggressive with her.
Reimu was confused and didn't like this. She was about to grab her purification rod.
"LEAVE REIMU ALONE!" A voice shouted, revealed to be Cirno who showed up in front of Reimu. The ice fairy tried to freeze the bird, but that bird was more resistant to cold than she fought. So she just tried to hit him with an ice hammer.
But all that did was piss Punishing Bird off, and he ate her with his massive red maws, which was his second set of jaws located on his belly under the disguise of a red spot, right in front of Reimu.
'That could've been me had that fairy not been there...' Reimu thought.
Punishing Bird saw Cirno as guilty of being an idiot and decided to focus on her rather than Reimu. As a result, the Hakurei Shrine Maiden was not eaten, though the girl knew Cirno would come back.
"I'm not hitting that bird...ever... Maybe I should just bring Flandre? Nah. Not worth it," Reimu said as she saw Punishing Bird leave, so she decided to leave the small bird alone.
"You're lucky that she was faster on the proverbial trigger than you, Reimu," a voice said right beside Reimu, who turned her head to see it was Aya. "You should've kept reading. There's even a picture of that little bird in the process of eating three fairies all at once."
"Yeah, thanks for telling me right there…" Reimu said as she took the newspaper back once again to check. What she saw was a darkly humorous photo of the Three Fairies about to be eaten by that small bird who just ate Cirno. She was a bit amused. The look on their faces is what truly sells it in the picture.
"I know, right?" Aya said.
"Yep. Speaking of which, what other of these weird creatures are out there?" Reimu said.
"Keep reading, Reimu. You have your answer in your hands, right now," Aya said as Reimu read it and saw that there was a group of four entities killing fairies. It was none other than the Warm-Hearted Woodsman, the Scarecrow Searching for Wisdom, the Road Home, and Scaredy Cat.
"What the-," Reimu said as she was wondering who they were. "What is that?"
"I know, right? They're like these protagonists from that old fairy tale. And they're not the only ones. Keep reading," Aya said. Reimu also read about a sentient apple and a big wolf creature as well as a mercenary dressed in red, who looked like Little Red Riding Hood.
"Well, I do hope that Kagerou doesn't encounter her…" Reimu said as she turned the paper to see a limbless plague doctor with black wings. The article talked about blessing people. "Guess that Eirin now officially has competition."
There was also a floating skull forgiving those of their sins showing it with a cross in it.
"And Byakuren," Reimu said. "Okay then…"
She turned the page and saw a magical girl protecting humans. The one in the picture shown was the Queen of Hatred.
"Why was I not told about this attack? And what is she protecting them from?" Reimu said as she looked to the other side of the picture to see it was the King of Greed in her monstrous form. "What the hell is that?"
The shrine maiden was wondering what that even is.
"Well, I took a picture of what that thing looked like just before attacking. On the next page," Aya said as Reimu turned the page to see a picture of a girl in a yellow crystal that appeared to be a magical girl.
"And according to what I heard the other one say, they used to be friends," Aya said. "Also there's four of them."
"Four?" Reimu said.
"Yep. There's four," Aya said.
"Where have they last been seen?" Reimu asked.
"Check the newspaper for more," Aya said as the Hakurei Shrine Maiden kept reading another page of the newspaper which talked about a girl who cried a lot & a girl who was wrathful, and an evil forest hermit, who the wrathful girl hated.
"Looks like Seiga is going to have some competition," Reimu said.
"So it would seem," Aya said as Reimu turned the page, and it then talked about Former Hell experiencing a train down there suddenly showing up.
"And it's not just Yukari? You've seen her train, right?" Reimu asked.
"It did not come out of a gap," Aya said. "It came out of something else…"
"Not a gap, huh?" Reimu said.
"Nope," Aya said.
Reimu turned the page as a result of hearing this and read it right now.
"What's that?" The Hakurei asked as she was looking at a picture that interested her.
"Oh, this?" Aya said as she was pointing at a thing with many legs with a heart in the middle. Seemingly being worshiped by a group of people.
"More competition for faith?" Reimu said as she looked annoyed.
"And then there's what that thing does to its followers…" Reimu said as the picture showed people being sucked into the heart. "Those eyes...that thing is brainwashing them into eating them AND not donating to my shrine?! That does it! I'm exterminating it to DEATH!"
She looked mad. Aya was sweat-dropping at seeing angry Reimu. For such a petty reason. Instead of, you know, getting angry that this thing is assimilating humans.
"That's it I'm going after that thing! It's going to die!" Reimu shouted.
'Well, at least she's gonna do her job, for once.' Aya thought as she was still sweat-dropping.
A/n: So the Lobotomy Corporation and Touhou are both under-appreciated these days so I wish to promote both in this story. Plus with the release of Touhou 17.5 and the upcoming game Limbus Corporation I missed a lot in my long-due absence.
Also yes Touhou characters vs abnormalities are not what you expected now, did you? I was inspired to do this off of the Walfas versions of some of the abnormalities on DeviantArt like the Black Forest trio in Walfas form + their combined form.