Hello! I must say, my English is not 101% perfect, as it is still not my native language. Anyway, enjoy! I hope you'll like it.
I.
Johnny thinks, he's going crazy. Slowly, but too sharply. It was like someone poisoned him and this poison affects his whole body making Johnny just silently watch and be incapable of doing something.
There are very dim feelings, his boys' advice, old movies shots of the 50s in his head: this is not how this should be, not painful, that's not right. This relationship. This toxic relationship… Lola.
He is so in love with her, which turns into a major, fatal mistake. Only Lola is on his mind.
Lola.
Lola.
Lola.
Only Lola.
That name is the most frequent thing running in his thoughts. Inside, everything is in pain, his head hurts. He wants to break something just because she is not around. Or not next to him. With this prep Gord. Or his buddy Chad, or worse, that rich kid Tad.
Johnny, hey, you're the leader. You can take down Bif Taylor! What the hell is going on with you?!
You're in love, Johnny.
This impossible love only poisons him, drives the subconscious into the darkest corner. His hands are shaking with the desire to smash Gord's face. Or they are shaking because there is nothing he can do. He simply can't work on a car in the Auto Shop, he literally gives up. He can't think straight, movements are mechanical, and only somewhere deep inside the subconscious is trying to reach him: this is wrong, Johnny, drop it, you are killing yourself.
Last year he was one of the strongest and toughest students at Bullworth Academy. People should never cross paths with Johnny Vincent and his boys; maybe only a football team can stand up to the challenge; he is the king, and now? This is all a lie. Yes, he still can fight with one of the footballers, but only one name on his mind — Lola. And that's it. The guy is gone. Completely lost. There is not enough menthol cigarettes to calm him down.
Johnny is not the king of Bullworth Academy. He looks like a wuss.
He is the one.
"Johnny, man, you okay?" Norton pulls his shoulder as the cigarette in his hand is nearly burnt out.
Johnny doesn't get hurt, he shakes his head, bringing himself back to reality, catching his own reflection in the Auto Shop window in the school yards. Black leather jacket, white shirt, blue sweater, brown hair, the shadows under his eyes.
It's not him.
It's someone else. Broken. Losing himself somewhere there, in the darkness of his own past, without the ability to return everything to its place. Deep down, he feels in his gut that there must be someone who warned him repeatedly and who will get him out of there. Who said she was a bitch. She's killing you, Johnny. She's not who you should be with. The brain frantically searches for an answer, an escape route, control over the situation, but it's too late. His heart starts beating fiercely when he thinks about it.
Heck.
It's an obsession.
Lola is everything he thinks about.
All he can do is aggressively silently watch her leave him, how she repeatedly betrays him, how she manipulates him, leaving a red mark of her lipstick on his neck.
Johnny Vincent looks like an abandoned puppy next to her.
/ \
/ \
/ \
"Out of the way, peasant," someone pushes him roughly. Judging by the foppish accent, it was another preppy bastard.
Last year they wouldn't have dared to act like this. Last year they would go around for a mile away without any desire to provoke him and then they would apologize endlessly.
Contrary to expectations, even to the expectations of the damn prefects, Johnny doesn't respond. Swallows a deaf fit of rage obediently.
A plaid Aquaberry sweater disappears in the crowd of students, and Larry instantly appears next to him, touching his friend's shoulder three times before getting Johnny's glance. Hazel eyes are looking with extreme misunderstanding.
Johnny froze on the second floor of the school, amidst a buzzing flow of students who are trying to get past him, without controlling slanderous gossips. But Johnny doesn't notice their looks, doesn't even hear this nasty whisper from everywhere.
"Hey, did you hear? Looks like Lola is playing Johnny again!"
"What else can you expect from her? From this girl?
"Johnny's crazy about her!"
He doesn't understand it and doesn't feel it. He isn't going crazy. He isn't getting mad anymore. He blindly trusts the one who doesn't need his care, love, or even the desire to help. She took possession of his soul and crushed his heart a long time ago. All she needs is just him running after her and solving all her problems. The broken life of another guy.
Larry has been trying to convince his friend for a week.
"Johnny, listen. We've talked about this before, but take a look at yourself! You don't go to class, you don't hang out with your friends. Norton said you don't even pay attention to that freak Bif Taylor! You said yourself that Lola's a slut, and you know that she's poisoning you, man."
Lola.
It's all about her now.
At the mention of only one name, Johnny frowns, clenching his jaw. His face becomes flushed and the muscle is flexing in his cheek. But Peanut sees it and continues anyway. He knows that Johnny can hit him. Being in such state, being so lost, hitting someone who speaks the pure truth that infects him would be the most logical outcome.
"You're losing your status, Johnny, because you're thinking about her only! You know it's time to move on, you should forget about this relationship. Wake up before it's too late! Until something worse than the fight in New Coventry happens!"
Larry pauses and automatically runs a hand through his lacquered hair. His pupils are dilated, his brows are furrowed, his hand is squeezing his friend's shoulder, and doesn't want to let go until Johnny comes to his senses.
"Is it all right? You are a tough guy and our leader. You're talented, even Harrington won't mess with you! But now take a look at yourself? What happened to you when you started dating her?"
Larry frowns, but Johnny doesn't see it. All his thoughts are out there somewhere. In an unknown place. In the same place where his broken, torn to shreds pride is.
"Relax for a while. Get out of this relationship. Look at other girls, try them. It is not necessary to follow the one who doesn't appreciate it like a loyal dog!"
He almost breaks out screaming, causing Bucky to flinch at the loud voice as he passes by. But Larry's face changes in an instant when he sees her — thin hands touch Johnny's tense shoulders, wrap around his neck, as if dragging him again, luring him to her and not letting him get out of these poisonous threads. Larry bites his tongue as he glares at the girl in the black leather jacket. A lot of swearing and bad insults melt on the tip of his tongue as Lola looks up at him.
"Boys, are you talking about me?" her high voice sounds lusciously sweet and friendly. She kisses Johnny's cheek and, as if by chance, runs her fingers through his unruly hair, feeling the rapid beating of his heart.
Tamed him.
That's what everyone in Bullworth Academy thinks.
The corridor becomes quieter, the eyes of passing students are focused on the scandalous couple, and Johnny, closing his eyes for a moment, exhales sharply. Lola takes his hand gently and catches Larry's glance, only with one slight half-smile showing her whole essence, which everyone in Bullworth sees, except for Johnny himself.
Look, he's mine.
See how I can control him?
No one can do it, but I can.
Listening to her sly, flirtatious laugh, Johnny takes Lola away in a completely opposite direction from their class.
Only Larry's words continue to echo in his head with a dull pain.
Johnny, this relationship is way too wrong.
/ \
/ \
/ \
"Of course I love you Johnny," she whispers, running her slender fingers up and down his neck. "More than anyone…"
Alone with him, she is so compliant, so gentle, so faithful. He wants to walk with her along the beach of Old Bullworth Vale, hold her hand and protect from anyone who dares to look in their direction.
But only one glance at her now, he meets her eyes for a little longer than three seconds and all the trembling disappears somewhere inside, shatters.
No tenderness. Fuck it.
He wants to take her right here in this empty class. Roughly, so that she would be unable to walk for several days, would moan so loudly that everyone in the academy could hear.
She shamelessly frees him from his leather jacket. Lips pressed against his.
He doesn't want to kiss her, his own brain screams that kissing this girl is like a slow death.
Push her away.
Or fuck her harder.
There are only two ways, Johnny.
Don't show that you still love her.
But his arms wrap around her thin body. The heart beats treacherously as he responds to her kiss.
"Johnny…" her weak exhalation, and without any lengthy preludes, she unfastens the belt of his trousers, causing him to almost break into a growl.
He holds on to the last of his strength, but it all collapses. He can't control his own feelings and emotions in front of her. He never could.
"Lola," is all he says, putting her on one of the desks.
His body trembles, his hands don't obey, almost tearing her white blouse. Her leather jacket flies somewhere aside.
"Johnny… the door."
"Closed."
Mr. Hattrick would not be pleased if he knew what they were doing here. But the math class is good. There are comfortable wide desks, large windows are covered with curtains, not allowing sunlight to penetrate — it helps not to look into her eyes, not to see her poisonous smile.
She moans so long, so loud. Johnny grips her thin waist until it hurts, speeding up like a hungry animal, and breathes sharply.
"Lola, you… are so beautiful," he whispers, losing himself completely in her long moan.
But you're such a bitch.
Leaving the school building, he thinks that she has a meeting with Gord tomorrow at the cinema in Vale.