This is a rewrite of a story I did many, many years ago. I apologize for how long this story may take to finish. I'm balancing a lot at the moment, but I promised a reader I would start on this when I got the chance, so I'm posting it now. Updates are not set right now due to work, an upcoming surgery, and college.

Maybe a fifth time will be the lucky rewrite? Who knows?

Warnings: Shonen ai. Kurama/Hiei Hiei/Kurama

Notes: (X) is pov of change and or time jump

' ' will be mind speech

Italics are thoughts.

Entry 1

Kurama smiled, the fresh cool air meeting him as he stepped out of the school and into the bright light of what was officially the first day of summer. The school yard filled with students, most of them in groups of four or more, laughing, smiling, and planning out their summer vacation. Their biggest worries would be making sure to finish their summer homework before the holiday ended. If only his life were that simple.

He started past a group of girls.

"I got the tickets for the concert next week!"

"I can't believe it!"

"We can stay the night at my place the day before."

"Good idea, your apartment is closest."

"Look, it's Minamino-san," one girl whispered. "Think he'd go with us to the concert?"

"Yeah, right," one of the other girls laughed.

I can't wait to be away from all these people. He'd been waiting for this day for so long he could hardly believe that it was finally here. No more having to pretend to study, no more dodging questions about his whereabouts, no more tutoring students and pretending to be nice. No more listening to pointless conversations or coming up with excuses to avoid dates with girls, though that had become one of the easier issues to handle. All he had to say was that he was studying for his college entrance exams, and they'd apologize before running off. Now he was free to be himself.

Probably not the best thing to be right now, but he planned on using his free time to make things bearable again.

He closed his eyes, breathing in the air. The sun graced his face, its warmth feeling like an embrace. The scents of flowers, trees, and summer in general drifted past his nose, making everything seem right for now. The sky was bright and blue, not a cloud daring to show its face, and as far as Kurama was concerned, he was going to make the most of it. Sure, he didn't have many friends to spend it with, though Yusuke had been at his house at all hours of the day for the last two weeks between studying, if you could call it that, or trying to keep his mind off darker thoughts. Sometimes Kuwabara joined them. Thank Enma he actually understood the concepts Kurama explained to him. It turned out Kuwabara wasn't an idiot, he just didn't know how to study properly.

Movement from the corner of his eye and a sudden energy signature registering in his mind had him shifting into a ready stance. His eyes narrowed, his hand going to his hair as if he were merely tousling it, but really grabbing a seed and allowing his own aura to spike. Usually, that was all it took to send a lesser demon running for cover, but just in case, he was ready for anything. Until he noticed that it was Hiei standing in from him looking at him with a raised eyebrow, resulting in his confidence crashing down around him. How foolish he must look to the other demon.

At least I didn't throw a seed first and then recognize him. He already had a bit of a bad reputation when it came to his partners, and he didn't want to make it worse. Kurama dropped his hand, letting out a breath. Of course, it was Hiei. Who else with that much power would approach him, besides Yusuke? He allowed his energy to fall, no need to scare Hiei off more than usual with his sudden jump into fight mode.

"Kurama?" Hiei asked when he said nothing.

The red head just shook his head, pushing a smile onto his lips. How foolish he'd been to jump to such conclusions, yet there was nothing he could do about that. He no longer felt safe even in the human world, not since the dark tournament.

"Summer break is finally here," he said, more to himself than to Hiei. He didn't exactly know where to start with the fire demon. He hadn't seen Hiei in a little over a month. The last thing he'd heard was that Hiei would be going to Genkai's temple to watch over his sister and to heal.

Well, that's what happens when you're not worth his time, Kurama thought with a snicker. That wasn't entirely fair, though, and he knew it. All of them had left the dark tournament in horrible shape, both physically and mentally. He was pretty sure he'd gotten the worst of it, though Genkai would probably argue that since she'd not only died and come back, but she'd also had to deal with Hiei staying at her home and 'defending' Yukina from Kuwabara afterwards. Not that he'd visited or seen anything firsthand, but from the stories Yusuke had told him, the old woman had his sympathy.

"Hn," came Hiei's usual greeting after he seemed sure Kurama wasn't going to strike him.

Kurama admitted he deserved that. Annoyed as he was with the fire demon, it wasn't right to try to intimate him as a means of greeting. I've been around humans for too long. Not that he was going to admit it that to Hiei, or anyone else. He'd grown fond of the way humans interacted with one another. Not that humans said hello by flexing their muscles. Well, some did, but Kurama wasn't trying to be like them.

No, he enjoyed their clumsy attempts at showing their love for one another, the displays of friendship and loyalty. Yusuke was a perfect example of all those things. Kurama had tried to emulate those same traits, but it had felt awkward and somehow wrong. He could be 'nice' in the sense that he could drop everything and help others study, like he had a few weeks ago, to make sure Yusuke and Kuwabara didn't end up in remedial courses for their entire summer. And of course, anything his mother asked, he would obediently do.

Loyalty was another one he had mastered, at least to his closest friends and, again, his mother. More than once, he'd willingly offered up his life to keep them safe and yet, none of this seemed like enough. He wanted that emotional connection with others, had desperately needed it during the tournament and especially after. And he'd gotten support from Yusuke and Kuwabara, both promising him he wasn't the monster he knew he was. He'd smiled and thanked them, knowing there was only so much truth in their words. He was a fox demon, after all.

Still, he was grateful to them for the lie, but he was who he was. A broken and selfish fox demon and human chimera who wanted a certain fire demon's attention more than anyone else's. Funny, before, he wouldn't have cared about any of this. He'd always had partners, but rarely had he been around others that he could consider friends, and only one demon could ever claim the title of being his mate. A partner who'd lost his life thanks to Kurama's stupidity. I should have tried to save him. Any attempts to free Kuronue would have resulted in one ending, though, both of their deaths.

I need to get over this. He walked past Hiei into his backyard, the sight of all the flowers blooming bringing him back to the present. None of these plants would be here without him. His mother wouldn't be here if he'd died back in Makai. The human world may have very well destroyed by demons if he hadn't made the choices he had. But now?

Hiei stopped at the gate, looking around the yard. If he wanted to talk, he could follow. Kurama had things to get done, such as figuring out how to regain his sanity.

Kurama dropped his bag onto the ground and walked over to the roses planted beneath his window. They were already in full bloom, most of the other flowers in the yard showing the same signs of life, their buds nearly all opened. At least they were happy to see him. He'd always been fond of plants, particularly the more vicious ones and a simple transfer of his power could transform the most docile flower into a living weapon. After the dark tournament, he'd hidden some plants from Makai in his private garden. They remained dormant for now, but should an unwelcome visitor try to make its way into his territory…. He chuckled.

He took one of the rose blooms in his hand and stroked the flower petals gently. The flower instantly stood up straighter as the fox demon released some of his energy into it. As he moved to repeat the action with the next flower, he noticed Hiei coming into the yard. A few of his hidden treasures gave off warning that there was an intruder. He assured the plants, like he had when Yusuke had first visited, that this person was of no threat and therefore not a food source. They seemed disappointed but didn't explode from the ground and eat him.

When he finished tending to each one, both with energy and water, he was surprised to see Hiei still in his yard, sitting, his back against the trunk of the tree he'd planted near his house for the fire demon and showing no signs of budging. The tree was large enough so the branches would hold Hiei should he decide to 'sleep over', and intentionally made access to Kurama's bedroom a breeze. Not that Hiei had ever slept in the tree, and he never used it to get into his bedroom, not for the reasons he wanted, anyway.

Well, if it had been anything bad, Hiei would have dragged him off already or Yusuke would have shown up by now or Botan. For some reason, just thinking about all the others made his head hurt. It was the first day of his vacation; he didn't want a mission with the others right now, even if it meant spending the next few hours to weeks with his favorite person. If only the feeling was mutual.

He waited for Hiei to respond, but the fire demon didn't seem to be in a sharing mood. Sighing, he walked over to him. "Alright, I'm finished," he said, trying to get whatever this was over with. As much as he loved seeing Hiei, breathing in his scent, looking into those ruby orbs, he couldn't deny the pain he had at not being able to claim those things for himself, not to mention he felt slightly hurt that Hiei could go so long without needing to see him. And then there was what had happened during the tournament.

"Hn."

And it was such a perfect day. Or as perfect as one of his days could go, all things considered. He'd managed to get enough sleep to make it through the last day of his classes and had woken up on time, so he wasn't running like a madman to get to class before the bell went off. No one had given him any strange looks or bothered him, which meant his classmates were finally being considerate of his feelings or he had looked particularly unapproachable that day. He had a feeling it was the latter.

Just once… he shook his head. It would be great if Hiei had shown up just to see him, but he knew better. Hiei only visited him out of necessity and always for one of three reasons: mission orders, sparring requests, and his favorite, 'it's raining.' Well, it wasn't raining, and Hiei looked too tired to spar, which left the dreaded mission.

"What are we getting dragged into now?" He tried to keep his voice friendly and failed to keep the edge out of his voice. Hiei wasn't the only one still trying to recover from the Dark Tournament. They'd all gone through hell and despite the time that had passed, he just couldn't get himself to care if the world was ending again. Let someone else handle it for once. Send Koenma. The baby god needed to learn how to do things for himself, anyway.

A hint of a blush crossed his cheeks as Koenma's teen form flashed through his mind. No one could deny how good looking he was in that form, but Botan would beat him to death with her oar if she caught him flirting with the young god again. He looked around for a distraction, his eyes falling on a group of spider lilies. They could use a little more tending to. He rushed towards them, hoping Hiei hadn't noticed the red tint to his face and taken it the wrong way. If he suspected Kurama still had feelings for him, he'd never come back.

Where was Yusuke when you needed him, anyway? By now, the Spirit Detective had usually barged into his yard. He'd even take Kuwabara at this point, anyone, so the awkwardness between them wouldn't be so bad. A month and a half. Hardly anything to a demon. Both of them had lived longer than most humans would for their entire lives and yet here he was, annoyed at being ignored for a blink of an eye. How warped living as a human had made him, and stupid. You couldn't hold a demon to human time standards.

"What makes you think I'm not just here to talk?" he asked, sounding slightly offended.

Kurama rolled his eyes. He might be desperate for companionship, but he hadn't lost his mind. Hiei never came to his house just to talk or any other mundane reason, as much as he wished for it.

"You expect me to believe that?" he asked, looking up at him from one of the flowers. Why beat around the bush? Actually, since when did Hiei do such a thing? He couldn't recall a time when the fire demon had spoken with him just to avoid something. Hiei tended to be more direct in his avoidances and would simply run. "Well?" For Hiei to stay until he finished tending to his garden meant it had to be important, but Kurama wanted him gone. Every second his -were they even still partners? - was there, the longer it would take for him to gather himself after he left.

Hiei shrugged. "Yusuke wanted me to tell you something."

Here it is, he mentally sighed. Hiei was the designated messenger of the group, most likely because of his speed, but Yusuke could have been nice enough to come instead of sending the fire demon. I'm going to kill Yusuke. The teen knew Hiei, and he wasn't on the best terms right now.

Besides, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to be a part of their missions right now. While his body had completely recovered from the dark tournament, save for a few scars that would probably never heal, his mind was still mending. It'd taken him weeks to just be able to walk properly again and with everything he'd gone through with Karasu…. He shuddered.

No. He gave his head a firm shake, trying to banish the images from his mind as quickly as they'd come. He'd been doing so well at forgetting, mostly thanks to exhaustion after tending to side missions, but now that Hiei had come with the mention of a real mission, it was almost like the dark tournament had only ended a day ago. Hiei seemed to notice this as well, because he was standing next to him, looking at him with as much concern as an emotionless face could.

"Kur—"

"Spit it out," he growled, the fire demon taking a step back. When he managed to get the memories shoved deep down enough, he opened his eyes again.

Hiei was still standing there, this time a frown clearly on his face. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm just tired," he lied as he tried to get everything back in check. His energy had shot up again and as a result, his plants, both demonic and human, were leaning towards Hiei, awaiting his orders. No doubt the reason Hiei seemed so worried. Kurama lifted one hand, the plants relaxing instantly. He motioned to the back door that would lead into his house. There was no sense in allowing Hiei to be eaten by one of his plants just because he couldn't keep his emotions under control.

He shut the door behind Hiei and pulled a chair out for the demon to sit in while taking note of the clock. His mother wouldn't be back for another hour or so, enough time for him to figure out what in the world Hiei wanted and to throw him out.

"It's not a mission," Hiei said, ignoring the chair.

That got Kurama's attention. Hiei didn't come over for visits; Hiei came to tell the other Spirit Detectives when something was going on or to…

"Hiei, I can't spar right now," Kurama groaned. He hadn't meant to, but he had, and the fire demon was again giving him an odd look, no doubt thinking him crazy. Well, he wasn't too far off the mark.

"Are you sick?" he asked when Kurama offered no explanation.

"No," he said, mentally cursing when he realized that would have been a wonderful explanation for his strange behavior. "My mother leaves today to finish her studies. She'll be gone for three months," he explained, choosing a different lie. Everyone knew how close he was to his mother, and he doubted Hiei would question him, no matter how odd he acted, with that in mind.

Hiei's shoulders relaxed. One bullet dodged. "Why not go with her?"

"She's staying with an American family."

"And they won't let her bring her son?"

"That's not how the program works." He could have easily manipulated some humans and gotten his way, but doing so seemed wrong. When has Hiei ever been interested in my personal life? Perhaps him being around Yukina had changed him, of course, at the worst possible time for Kurama. "She'll be home within the hour before she leaves. So, if this is important, you need to explain now."

"Kitsune no baka," he said, as he had so many other times. His tone was playful and Kurama couldn't help offering a slight smile at that. Maybe Hiei wanted to put everything that had happened at the tournament behind them and pretend like it had never happened. If only he could. "Yusuke is having a party to celebrate the start of his vacation."

"You're delivering party invitations now?" Kurama asked, raising his own eyebrow this time, and trying hard not to laugh. He wondered how Yusuke could have possibly tricked Hiei into doing such a nonsense task, but decided some things were better left unknown. There was always the chance that if Hiei found out what Yusuke was really using him for, he would kill the spirit detective. Given that Yusuke was one of two people keeping Kurama from hanging himself with his plants, he couldn't allow that to happen.

"He needs to know who can attend," Hiei snapped.

Kurama blinked. Hiei was taking this task a little too seriously. "Who's attending?" It was better to know now if this was a human gathering or a spirit detective one, and he wasn't agreeing to anything until he had an answer.

"Everyone."

Kurama waited for Hiei to define who everyone was, but when the demon started to fidget in place, he knew Hiei was reaching his limit. He never did like to stay in one place long unless he was asleep or watching his sister.

Everything is about his sister, he thought angrily.

"I'll try to make it," Kurama said after giving it a moment's thought. He could use the distractions and truth be told, he didn't exactly like the idea of being alone right now. The last time he'd been alone… He managed to stop his emotions from surging seconds before it happened. At least he was getting better at that. "What time does it start?"

"Seven," Hiei instructed and was gone.

Kurama looked to where the fire demon had been standing. In his dash to get away, he'd left the door open. Scowling, he slammed it shut before going from door to door, window to window, making sure everything was shut tight and locked. He would no doubt be adding stronger wards once his mother left.

(X)

"Do you have everything you're going to need, mother?" Kurama asked. He'd just handed her last bag to the bus driver. It was strange to see his mother standing outside the bus and knowing she wouldn't be back for months. Didn't she understand how much he needed her right now? Stop it. He couldn't let his spiraling emotions stop his mother from going overseas. She'd been so happy when her letter had arrived with news that her university had chosen her to go to America. He was selfish, but not enough to ask her to stay. Not when she'd sacrificed so much for him already. If only she could sense his inner turmoil and cancel everything.

"Shuichi, stop worrying. I have everything," his mother promised him. Of course, she did. Kurama had made her a list of everything she could possibly need and helped her pack it all, had even gone through the bags and the list a second time the night before just to make sure. That didn't make him worry any less.

"Your mother will be fine," Kazuya said. "I'm not entirely sure we will though," he laughed.

You have no idea. Despite it all, he nodded, and she smiled, giving him a kiss on the forehead. He hated goodbyes, especially when it concerned his mother. The problem wasn't so much about being separated, as it was her being so far away and possibly in danger because of demons. The last thing he ever needed to happen was for his mother to be kidnapped or worse, murdered, because of some demon he'd angered before taking on a human form.

The only thing that did bring him some comfort was the ward he'd managed to sneak into her belongings, just in case something went wrong. It would work well enough to keep her safe should her life ever truly be in danger.

"And Shuichi, please don't overwork yourself while I'm gone. Your studies are important, but don't be afraid to take a small break," she begged him. He knew she was referring to two months back when he had claimed to be trying so hard to balance schoolwork with "other things", being a spirit detective, that he had gotten himself bed ridden. The truth was, he'd been trying to recover from the dark tournament.

"I promise," he assured her, giving her a tight hug. "I will take breaks. Yusuke is having a party this evening, so I'll be enjoying myself tonight. There's nothing you need to worry about." He hugged her again.

"Aw, I thought we'd watch some videos," Shuuichi pouted.

"I need to start my summer homework and I signed up for summer cram school courses," he said, giving Shuuichi an apologetic look. "As soon as I find out my schedule, we can figure out a day to hang out." Which he hoped wouldn't be anytime soon. Considering he hadn't really signed up for cram school, he should be able to avoid the get together for a short while.

"You don't need cram school," Shuuichi said.

"Why didn't you tell me you signed up for cram school?" Shiori asked. "How did you pay for it?"

"My part-time job." Not exactly a lie.

"You have a part-time job? Why didn't you ask for a job at my company?" Kazuya asked.

I hate this. At least he knew his mother would be fine if he ever didn't make it back from a mission. "I've had this job long before mother met you. They don't mind if I only work when it doesn't interfere with my studies." Other people began boarding the bus. "Please stay safe and if you have any questions about the language, call me."

"Shuichi, you're worse than I am," she laughed, returning the hug. "Go have fun with your friends. I can take care of myself."

"Call me tomorrow after you've gotten situated." He'd taken on a very minor mission two weeks ago for Koenma. Basically, he'd delivered some important documents, forced the receiver to sign them, and brought them back to Koenma in exchange for some human money. Most of it he'd given to his mother so she could afford to call him from America.

"Don't forget to call me too," Kazuya said, hugging her. Shuuichi joined in at the last second.

Shiori started laughing again. "Of course. Well, I should be going." She gave everyone another round of hugs and kissed Kurama on the cheek. "If you need anything, call Kazuya," she whispered.

"I will." Though he very much doubted Kazuya could handle the kind of problems he had or could run into.

With a nod, she turned and climbed onto the bus. The three watched her go. The bus door shut and drove off moments later.

"Shuichi, my offer still stands."

"I appreciate it, but everything I need to study is at home." Kazuya had offered to let him stay at his home for the entire time his mother would be in America. Touching, but hardly something he could risk right now. "I'll be sure to stop by."

"You better," the younger Shuuichi said.

"I should get back home. I don't want to be late for the party."

(X)

Now with two hours left until Yusuke's party, Kurama decided his first order of business was to take a shower. Second on his list was to find something to wear. He had a feeling if he showed up in his school uniform Yusuke would rip it off him in defiance of summer or something weird like that.

Both tasks were quite simple. No one could fail taking a shower and he was a pro when it came to picking out clothes. His closet was full of things he never got to wear because he was always in uniform during the school year. I'll pick out the clothes first.

He leafed through a few outfits, frowning when nothing jumped out at him like it usually did. The harder he tried, the more he realized he really didn't care.

I don't want to go. He sat down on the edge of his bed; eyes still glued to his closet. He didn't want to be alone, but going to Yusuke's for a party wasn't exactly on his list of fun things to do, though it definitely beat having to sit through a movie marathon of Super Sentai with Shuuichi. Watch pointless TV or watch Yusuke get drunk?

"Ugh." He flopped back onto his bed. This had to be some kind of punishment for his heinous deeds. Shouldn't saving the world multiple times make his punishments less severe?

Go shower first. Clear your head. Sighing, he forced himself off his bed.

He entered the bathroom, leaving the lights in the hallway on and the door open, as had become his routine since he'd returned. He would shower before his mother returned from work in order to avoid getting caught. If this turned out impossible for the day, he would take a shower as fast as possible before pulling his pants on and darting to the door and opening it. Enclosed spaces were just not one of his favorite things anymore, at least not ones with doors. Yet another thing he needed to fix before his mother's return.

I am one of the most feared demons alive. He slammed the door and glared at it, daring it to open. Okay, wishing it would. This is pathetic. He pulled a seed out of his hair, at the same time giving it some of his energy. A small plant with a large bud sat in his hand. When it was the size of a cat, he set it down next to the bathroom door. "If anyone tries to get in, eat them."

(X)

He looked over at his clock as he walked into his bedroom, still drying his hair with one towel, another one around his waist, and the flesh-eating plant's roots wrapped around his arm. His plan had been to return it to its seed state, but it looked so cute standing next to the door, not that it could go anywhere, that he hadn't had the heart to do it. Perhaps he'd plant it in the backyard before he left. For now, he had a bigger problem. What in the Makai to wear to a party he had no interest in going to?

"Okay, you can't go wrong with jeans." He opened his bottom drawer and removed a pair of jeans, socks, and some underwear. He threw all three items onto his bed before heading over to his closest, stroking the flesh-eating plant's bud. "What do you think?"

"That you need to pay more attention to your surroundings!"

Kurama jerked around, eyes wide, the flesh-eating plant hissing and baring its teeth. Hiei was on his bed, covered in the clothes he'd just thrown, looking rather annoyed. "What are you doing here!?"

"Urameshi made me come back to find out if you were actually coming!" He pulled the pants off his head in one harsh movement, one of Kurama's socks falling from his shoulder.

Oh, no… This had to be one of the worst moments of his life. His underwear was lying in Hiei's hair. It was a clean pair, but that was beside the point. "L, let me," he stumbled towards the bed, leaning forward to grab the underwear at the exact same time that Hiei pulled it off his head and stared at it. "Umm…"

Hiei's face slowly began turning red. "WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING THESE!?" He chucked the undergarment at Kurama while jumping off the bed and backing away until his back hit the window.

This is not happening. "I just got out of the shower," he said, using every ounce of self-control he had to force himself to remain calm.

"YOU'RE ALWAYS—" He stopped without warning, Kurama's fear growing.

What could have made Hiei go silent in the middle of one of his outbursts? He glanced at the door. No one was there. He checked his towel, thank Enma and all of Makai, it was still securely fastened around his waist. "What?"

"Nothing. Put your clothes on," he muttered, turning towards the window.

Kurama grabbed his underwear and pulled it on in record time, followed fast by his jeans. Not wanting to push his luck, he pulled out the first shirt he found that wasn't a school uniform, which ended up being a white long sleeve shirt that buttoned up the front. He moved the flesh-eating plant into his hair, pulled the shirt on quickly, and fumbled a moment with the buttons. When he'd managed to get himself dressed, he sighed in relief, slumping to the floor, his back resting against the wall. He really will be the death of me one day. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"I told you, Urameshi said he needed to know exactly how many people were coming."

"Well, if I don't die from a heart attack, I'll be there." Or embarrassment, for that matter. After a few more controlled breaths, he managed to calm himself down. "Aren't you going to go tell Yusuke?"

"I don't think that's an option," he said, obviously not pleased. He motioned to the window.

"You can't unlock my window?"

Hiei glared at him. "Look!"

Kurama climbed to his feet with a sigh and walked over to the window. Outside, his backyard had turned into a warzone, demonic plants dancing dangerously, looking for a target and snapping at the air. Kuso…

"Kurama—"

"You caught me off guard!" The plants should have calmed down when his energy spike passed. That's what had happened all the other times. You can do this. Looking weak in front of Hiei was not an option. Focusing, he withdrew his energy from the plants. For a second, he thought he'd somehow failed, but the plants shuddered and soon disguised themselves as their human flower counterparts again. "There," he said, doing his best to hide a slight gasp.

Hiei studied him for a moment. Kurama averted his eyes and walked over to his desk. How could he explain any of this? And did he really even want to try? What was the point of telling him anything? Hiei had shown him exactly what he'd do if Kurama dared to show any weakness. Telling him might get him to leave. He glanced at the window to make sure the plants were still docile. They were. He sat down.

"They won't attack now. You can run." He placed his elbow onto his desk and dropped his forehead into his hand. The flesh-eating plant's bud started nipping at him, trying to get his attention.

"Kurama… what is going on with you?" Slowly, Hiei approached him. "Why haven't you healed?"

(TBC)