01—Recollection
Fitfully, yet somehow held in place, Taiasu struggles motionlessly against his restless sleep.
Like a picture book from hell, every worst moment of his life flips past his mind's eye. Only in this book, the pictures move and breathe and live. Worse, his eyes and ears are pried open, and his head is anchored in place so he can't even look away as each image burns itself into his eyes and his mind, again and again and again.
A broad-nosed, pale-skinned woman with silver hair, dressed in purple chain-mail and a short purple skirt. Barely able to stand, she stumbles forward toward a beam of light projected from his hand. Reaching out with hers, she touches the beam, and is reduced to little more than light, infusing it with power at the cost of her own life.
'Breyda…!
Despite his protests, or perhaps urged on by them, the page turns.
On the ground, a shattered shield. The hole it bears glows with an aetherial light. Laying beside it, a young man, garbed in chain armor and leggings, with long, elfin-like ears and rough, silver hair. Crimson pours from his mouth, out around his lips. In his stomach persists a similar, shining light.
Haurchefant!
Another page, another face.
Descending from the sky, a woman dressed in a deep blue tunic and half-dress, with long, elfin-like ears, skin like snow and hair like frost, enveloped in a vortex of swirling blue light. Her eyes close as she breathes her last, then shatters into fragments like ice.
Izel—!
And another.
A young man dressed in dark, reflective arcane robes, trimmed white about the shoulder and neck with yellow gloves. Messy light hair and long sideburns, and just a smidge taller than Taiasu, he holds aloft the head of a shattered staff, heavy with power, wearing a confident smile, with blue eyes filled with confidence as his diminutive form is enveloped in a consuming, blinding white light.
Papalymo!
Yet still, another.
What could pass for a human woman from this world. Long, blonde hair down past her shoulders, held back from her eyes with a white headband. Widening, pain-filled brown eyes as a sword radiating light rends from her back, spilling what should be far too little blood for such a grievous wound.
It runs down, staining her long, dark gray dress.
Tesleen…
Each face, each image, is of their last moments. His failures. And all of it brings with it a violent, wrenching twist to his chest. In his heart. A heavy ache in his head. Right behind his eyes. The sort which can only be relieved by shedding copious amounts of tears. If only he could, but before he's finished reeling from the last, again the page turns.
On this one, another beautiful, human-like woman with a complexion as fair and soft as moonbeams, and hair just as long as the last, but white as the fullest of moons, looking at him through eyes that lose their light with each passing moment. Laying on the ground, garbed in an opulent dress, white on the right side, deep purple on the left.
Stop… this…!
Impotently and in futility, he protests what he knows is next coming.
Her eyes close gently as she breathes her last words through a peaceful smile. A question meaningless to anyone but her, and the one to whom she'd direct it, were they there to hear it.
They're not.
As the light and the life leave her eyes, another more literal light leaves her body, floating up and vanishing in a vibrant display which gouges and twists at his heart.
Why are you making me… see this…!
He looks back down, and the woman's hair is white no longer, but silken black, as is the dress she wears, as whatever having empowered her has fully left her body, expiring along with her life.
Damn… it—!
Before whatever nefarious fingers thumbing through his memories can flip to the next page, Taiasu's mind forces itself awake with a violent whole-body jerk. Along with it, his eyes snap fully open, revealing him to be enveloped in a stuffy, smothering darkness. One against which he has to blink his eyes for a moment, causing the tears welled in their corners to run down the sides of his head.
It's another moment before he's sure he's actually awake, but feeling himself lying on his back, and his dry mouth and aching head, pounding with each strained heartbeat, helps.
Ah… Okay?
After confirming that he is in fact awake, he draws in a deep breath. With that breath comes an unfamiliar yet pleasant scent that he can't quite place. But it's comforting, and it lessens the pain in his head and eases the sharp, knife-like twisting in his chest as it knocks away most of the already fading trappings of his unpleasant dream.
Struggling some, he recalls the events of the past day. A long, strange day. But the last thing he recalls is making an idiot of himself, then giving up trying to recover his dignity and collapsing on the ground, trying to sleep.
Right… I was on the floor in Sakura's room. But it wasn't this dark, was—!
As he works to puzzle it out, the stuffy darkness vanishes. Someone yanks away a blanket covering them both. Dim light reaches his eyes and gives context to his circumstances. He blinks again as his eyes adjust, and he looks up into the upside-down face that peers down at him.
"Ah—"
Surprised at who he sees, the name falling from his mouth does not belong to the actual face he sees when his eyes have fully adjusted.
Sakura blinks down at him, tilting her head for a moment at the name. Then, quickly setting that particular peculiarity aside, her eyes widen. As Taiasu realizes the situation, he also gapes, and his mouth again falls open. He can only take the moment to thank every god she's in her flowing, light-pink night dress before he springs back the full length of the bed, pinning himself to the wall.
Ah—! Ah! That's impossible! I was definitely on the floor! What in every hell is—!
Finally, the silence is shattered as they speak in unison.
"T-Taruko-kun/S-Sakura! Why/W-Why are you/am I in your/my bed?!"
Given how thoroughly their words mix as they both ask the same question, it comes out making about this much sense, and only adds to their addled confusion. Perplexed, they can only exchange befuddled blinks, as clearly no one speaking for the moment has an answer to their quandary.
"Master… er, Sakura…?" Finally, Rider speaks out, materializing as she does. "Do you not recall?"
"R-Rider…? Recall?" Sakura looks over near her study where Rider sits in the chair, with it turned halfway between the bed and the door. "Recall what—!"
Prompted by Rider's question, the fog lifts from Sakura's mind, which works to reveal the answer.
The events which transpired late that evening, perhaps even into the early morning hours.
Sakura stirs from her sleep and pulls her blanket to one side. Her tongue sticks to the roof of her mouth, and she smacks her lips lightly as she swings around, lowering her feet to the floor. She rubs her eyes to clear away some of the blurriness as she walks toward the door.
She's not gone long. Just long enough to get a glass of water from the bathroom to quench her parched mouth and throat. When she returns, she's still half asleep. But not the half that would forget what happens next, as her sleepy stare drops to the diminutive, red-clad form.
"Mm…"
The sound passes through her tired, smiling lips as she reaches down, gripping Taiasu's arm and lifting his limp, comatose form from the floor. In her sleep-addled state, she cuddles him closely as she falls into bed, pulling the blanket over herself.
"Hee-hee… Teddy…"
The more Sakura recalls, the more her face burns crimson. Not the same sort of crimson it burns in the presence of Shirou. The sort of crimson that a face burns when it belongs to a person who would like nothing more than to crawl into a hole and vanish from existence. She doesn't even have the presence of mind to wonder how it could have happened, or how he didn't wake up.
I… What… Did I…
She can't even complete the thought.
"Rider… Please tell me I didn't—"
"I do not fully understand why, but when you returned from your time out of the room, you lifted—"
As she speaks calmly, Rider's expression reveals little. A simple, neutral line for her mouth, and of course, as her eyes are hidden by her mask, there's nothing to tell from that.
"Stop! Stop!" Sakura waves with one hand as she presses the other uselessly against one ear. "I remember, please don't say anymore!"
She slumps forward, red from her ears to her toes, burying her face in her palms.
"Okay, but… I don't—"
Still in the dark, and still pinning himself to the wall, Taiasu makes to raise the question again, but with a single, swift, deft throw, Sakura beans him with her pillow to silence him.
"It doesn't matter! Nothing happened! It's fine! Just forget it!"
She draws her legs toward her body, then buries her face into them.
I can't believe I did that!
Fortunately for everyone, the sun has yet to rise, giving Sakura enough time to recover from her mortified state, gather her day clothes, and leave with them to get changed. Taiasu no longer has his back pinned to the wall, but remains near it. It would be difficult not to, with him banging his head against it rhythmically, muttering inwardly with each separate thump.
What… in every… hell… did I do…
The answer doesn't come. Instead, the door to the bedroom clicks open just as he's about to ask the wall one more time. His forehead stops a paper-slip's distance away, and he turns around to find Sakura standing at the door, dressed in her student's uniform. Her face and ears are no longer red, but the more casual color of her common complexion. Seeing her less fraught makes it easier for him to relax his furrowed brow, and his hand naturally presses into his chest as he breathes out a deeply relieved sigh for her recovery.
Oh thank every god…
For Sakura, seeing his relieved state impels her to clear the air. At least somewhat. She's still far too embarrassed to give specifics. It's so ridiculous she can't wrap her head around it. That it happened, but also why it happened. Maybe if she hadn't had to part with her own stuffed toys when she'd been forced into this house, her half-sleeping brain would have been less inclined to see Taiasu as one.
But dwelling on that will accomplish nothing.
Softly, she clears her throat to build momentum.
"It's alright, Taruko-kun. I was just surprised. Nothing happened, and you didn't do anything wrong."
Sincere, reassuring words, which help to ease his pressed frown some. But it still persists as he hops down from the bed, hanging his head forward.
"Maybe, but still. And how did I even end up there, anyw—"
"Well, no sense worrying about that!"
Sakura's tone is stiff and awkward as she forces a change in subject.
All that's missing is the unconvincing laugh.
"We should get going now!"
Immaterial, Rider moves quickly through the house, making certain the coast is clear before communicating it to Sakura. She and Taiasu stand at the door to her bedroom, waiting for the signal. On receiving it, she looks down at him, catching his eye, and gives a single, firm nod.
"Nii-san's not up. As for Grandfather, Rider's not sure where he is. Looks like we're good to go. Just stay close and tread lightly."
Taiasu mirrors her nod.
Then they're moving through the halls, down the stairs, and out the front door with little worry or concern. For what yesterday had been, feeling like escaping from a prison, this time feels much more like what she thinks it should.
Just a simple trip outside, leaving the house.
It must be because I'm not alone…
Outside the door, as it clicks closed, Sakura ponders briefly.
Rider's still with them, though invisible for being in spirit form, which helps to set her mind and nerves at ease. As she looks down at Taiasu, she glimpses briefly a look similar to when they'd both met eyes during that intensely surreal, awkward moment, just before he'd affixed himself to the wall like a cat.
And with the look, she recalls something else.
"Say, Taruko-kun…" He looks up at her, arching his brow, waiting for the implied question. "Who's Yotsuyu?"
At hearing the name, Taiasu's steps gradually slow to a complete stop. Everything that morning pushed the first few waking moments of his day from his mind. The woman's name, and her face. Both have taken up residence there frequently, ever since the incident in the dojo the other day.
He draws in a steadying breath before, slowly, hesitantly, letting his lips part.
"Where did you hear that name?"
His tone is fragile, and the words are barely audible.
"This morning. I think you were still half-asleep, but you called me Yotsuyu."
Immediately, he's torn.
The person asking reminds him so much of the person being asked about. Less their tendencies and personalities, and more to what they've both been subjected. It's hard for him not to see one in the other. Much of him wants not to speak about it. It's certain to be a trying discussion. But despite that, the rest of him, even the parts of him which are hesitant, still desire to give voice to her story.
After all… A person's only really gone when nobody talks about them anymore…
Before his mind had violently jerked his body awake that morning, hers had been the last face he'd seen. The woman smiling peacefully in her last moments. It was also her face he'd seen when he looked up at Sakura that morning, blinking up into the dim light. Just hearing her name, the face comes roaring back into his mind.
"It's… kind of a long story. We should walk while we talk." He suffers down a deep, stinging breath. Already, he can feel that deep ache in his head, trying to force itself out through his eyes. "Or else we might be late, you know?"
The malaise radiating from him doesn't escape Sakura's notice. Like him, part of her wants not to discuss it, since it's obvious to her it must be something upsetting.
"I-if it's a bother, we don't—"
Taiasu shakes his head, then looks up, wearing a sad, heavy smile.
"No… I mean, it's difficult… But I still want to."
The sun has yet to crest the horizon as they walk from Sakura's place, to the street, and toward Shirou's house. Mostly, Taiasu's stare remains fixed on the ground. Yet his eyes see someplace far off, and some time long passed.
Though time has passed, he's still not been afforded that which is needed for coming to terms with what happened to the woman, Yotsuyu. Rest and respite are luxuries seldom proffered to those who live as adventurers. And when seldom they are, it feels like such a waste to spend them moping and coping.
"So… is she a friend?" As Taiasu gathers his thoughts, which scatter like feathers in a windstorm, Sakura probes a bit, looking down at him from the side as they walk together. "Or… something else?"
Her small frown curls up in an expectant smile. The name has a feminine ring to it, and given all she's observed of his tendencies toward the fairer sex, him having someone waiting for his adoring declaration back in his world feels not far-fetched.
"N-no…" Taiasu shakes his head lightly, still hammering the ground with his hard stare. "Not a friend. Not… really, anyroad."
He draws in another long, painful breath, preparing himself.
Preparing to recount her life.
The smile he shows as he looks up from the ground is one which looks and feels forced and hollow. There's no shine in his eyes, but something deep and empty, like a bottomless chasm, threatening to draw everyone seeing it inside.
"She's… Yotsuyu… She's the one I mentioned. Whose brother I said yours reminds me of."
It's still early enough that there's nobody around to worry about overhearing, so he's able to talk as freely as his mind permits.
But that's the major hurdle.
Recalling and recounting painful memories, and it's made harder still, doing so while holding one's composure.
"What I know of her, heard about her, I learned from her. Just before…"
His voice trails as he lets his head turn back, redirecting his long looking gaze forward. Something deep and painful remains unspoken.
"Her parents were awful…"
Saying that is an understatement. Sakura's eyes widen in the dark, and her mouth falls open as Taiasu tells of their neglect.
"That was when they were at their kindest… Treating her no better than a mindless beast of burden, there just to serve at their every whim, beck and call."
At his sides, his hands repeatedly clench and relax. Sakura listens without speaking, while Rider remains vigilant, yet continues to offer her own unseen ear to the woman's story.
"And all that was before they'd sold her off. Married her off to some rich, abusive drunk excuse for a nobleman."
Sakura's steps slow. Her eyes grow wide and she draws in a sharp breath at the twinge in her chest.
Sold her off…? That sounds like what happened to me. Not exactly, but certainly close enough…
Taiasu naturally slows his pace to match hers as he continues.
"The nobleman died, of course. I don't know how, but he died in debt. They didn't care that the debt wasn't hers, so she was sold off again."
What he says next, to where, slows Sakura's pace even more. It's the sort of thing you hear about in historical dramas. The widow, left destitute by her husband's death, is sold to a house of ill repute to work off the debt that's not even hers.
A place like that… Surely, she'd have been passed around… Violated…
She shudders, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to fend off the images and sounds evoked from her mind by the word.
Violated.
Of her time in that basement, unclothed, crying, being subjected to the cruel touch of creatures immune to her impotent whimpers and pleas for mercy. The grotesque feeling returns all over her body. Disgusting slime trails passing over her skin. Her stomach, back, face and chest.
And all she could do was mourn in the dark.
Just recalling it, her skin tries to recoil inward.
But recalling it this time, something feels different. In the place's dark in her memory, something feels new. And, paradoxically, comforting. But before it comes into clear focus…
"Sakura?"
Hesitantly, Taiasu speaks out low with concern in his voice, and unspoken in his damp eyes.
"Huh?" Sakura shakes her head, and the memory, and whatever was just beyond her reach, vanishes. "S-Sorry. You were saying something about what happened next?"
"Um… If it's hard for you, I can—"
Forcing an unconvincing smile, she shakes her head.
"No, it's fine."
"I-if you're sure…" There's still an edge of hesitation in his tone, but he nods, then looks forward again. "What happened next, I've only heard second-hand…"
Much of Yotsuyu's story came directly from her. There were some blank spaces, but they were filled in later. While they continue walking, at a less slow pace now, Sakura continues to listen in relative silence as Taiasu talks about Yotsuyu's fall.
"This high-ranking military official from the Garlean Empire—er, Garlemald. We're not exactly on friendly terms. They're at war with everyone, pretty much all the time—named Zenos yae Galvus visited her. Never heard the particulars on that, but she tried to seduce state secrets from the guy…"
His father, the ruler of the Garlean Empire, had plans to crush the City State of Doma—"It's a place in the far east, back in my world. A lot of the aesthetic here reminds me of it."—and she had tried to coax the details of that plan from the man.
Summarily, he'd rebuffed her attempts.
"That's when everything changed…" Taiasu slows his pace some, trying to keep his eyes fixed straight ahead. "Instead, he turned it on her. Got her to open up about what she'd been suffering through. About how she hated Doma. And her people, for what they'd done. How they hadn't…"
Justly or not, she resented them for her suffering. Resented how they'd turned a blind eye and a deaf ear, out of ignorance, complacency, or both, to her situation. Ignored her completely as she was mistreated, abused, and sold off like cattle, again and again.
Sakura's pace slows further as she holds herself between her arms, Taiasu's words echoing in her mind.
Sold off… No one caring or coming to save her… She's sounding more and more like…
Taiasu's steps gradually come to a complete stop.
"She told us all of this, just before…"
He looks up, catching Sakura's small, self-concerned frown. She notices his noticing and quickly shakes her head, trying to force another small smile.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
Taiasu stares up at her, prodding his chin. Having to bear this himself is one thing. But if hearing it causes discomfort for the listener, he'd just as soon stop.
"Y-yes, I'm fine, Taruko-kun. Just thinking… She seems to have had a difficult life."
Taiasu responds with a deep, dejected sigh. "Yeah… It doesn't excuse what she did, though…"
They resume walking as he goes on, talking about how she'd sold out her people and her homeland.
"Varis zos Galvus, er, that's Zenos's father. He used what she told Zenos to crush Doma. It wasn't even a battle. Then he, er, Zenos, established her as a viceroy. Basically reduced the entire country to little more than a puppet state."
He squints, frowning, and sticking his tongue out in disgust.
"I hate politics."
Despite her unpleasant memories, and how quickly she identifies with this 'Yotsuyu' person, which itself gnaws at her heart, his expression still brings from her a soft chuckle.
"It was some time later when we arrived. Yugiri Mistwalker…" He looks up, catching Sakura's arched brow, and he nods. "She's another friend of mine. She's really pretty. Even Tataru said so. Er, she's a friend of mine, too." After ascribing identities to the names, he goes on. "Yugiri came seeking our aid to break the Garlean yoke. To set Doma free."
In brief, as they continue their small journey, just crossing that common intersection, Taiasu speaks of his own journey. How he and his friends had braved the sea, arriving and setting up a sort of base of operations in Kugane.
"Parts of this city really remind me of Kugane. Especially Shirou's house. Once we were there, we started gathering information. It wasn't long before we met. She was stunningly beautiful, too, but her eyes were cold and cruel."
Their pace slows again as they walk along the terrace wall.
"She had this shining, silken dark hair, and was always dressed in this elegant, dark robe over her black dress. Her skin was fair, too, and she always had this pipe. I don't know if she liked it, or just the way it made her look. We first saw her at this fishing village, and she was…"
She'd been harassing some locals from a nearby fishing village when Gosetsu—"Another friend. Haven't seen him in a while. Larger than life, both in body and spirit. He's a good guy."—stepped in to stop her. For his efforts, she had him subdued, captured, and imprisoned.
"We worked pretty hard to undermine her authority while we were there. Gathering information, securing the help of allies… I even learned to breathe underwater—" At this part, Sakura stops mid-step, turning her dubious frown down at Taiasu's back as he keeps walking, not noticing. "—all so we could free Doma. Then we made our move."
Having heard him so lackadaisically describe 'learning to breathe underwater' has, ironically, drowned out all of Sakura's unsettling recollections. Enthralled, she now listens raptly as he describes their siege on Castle Doma. The soldiers on patrol, their heads and faces concealed by dark masks which matched their dark utilitarian armor. War machines, some standing as tall as men, which walked like dogs, and some standing as tall as buildings, which walked like a men.
"I wish they'd all been machines…" Taiasu mutters, staring at the ground. "Nothing's lost if you destroy a machine…"
Some floated, hovering with wings, and some flew with twin sets of propellers.
"I wonder sometimes why they piloted them so close to the ground."
Then there were the magitek tanks.
"The first looked like a man… I mean, as much as a machine made like that can look like a man. Had arms without hands or fingers, but just an endless torrent of explosives. Missiles, bombs… It was nuts. Never would have made it alone…"
At length, he talks about the tall man, one of the Sultansworn Elites, also known as Paladins, who stood at their side with blade and shield, drawing the enemy focus, tirelessly weathering even the most savage of blows, and the other two with them.
Both Lalafell, like him.
Taiasu chuckles through his wide, toothy grin.
"The tall man complained the whole time, muttering how much he hated being relegated to babysitting duty. I can't remember their names, but I remember their faces."
One of his kinsfolk was skilled with the staff, and able to mend even the most grievous of injuries. The other wielded the bow and harp.
"That's actually what got me interested in the bow myself. We pushed our way through to the last obstacle… Someone we'd faced before, but now the guy'd become some sort of monstrosity. Some sort of mix between man and machine. Had this imposing sword, with blades that whirred like a saw made from chains. It wasn't an easy fight. Hien, Yugiri and Gosetsu ran on ahead of us—!" He stops mid-step, realizing. "Oh, right… Uh… Hien, he's the heir apparent to the Doman throne. He and Yugiri found Gosetsu while we were making a right mess of the place. Anyroad, they left us to deal with the mechanized nightmare."
He lifts his head and resumes walking, though slowly and more deliberate.
"When we'd finished with that guy, those who fought at my side left. Other business to tend to…" He goes quiet for a moment, swallowing hard as his breath is cut short. "But it wasn't over… I followed the way Hien and the rest had gone. Yotsuyu was there. Hien…" Taiasu frowns sharply, shaking his head, clenching his hands at his sides again. "He had her at the edge of his sword. Asked her right as I'd arrived…"
Eyes sliding closed, he recalls the words.
"Asked her if she had any remorse for her actions. For what she'd done to his… To hers… To their people. That's when she basically told us everything I told you before. Her whole life's story." He sighs dejectedly, hanging his head. "All I knew before was that she was a tyrant. I felt little sympathy for her. She didn't have a shred of remorse, but the more she spoke…" Taiasu looks up at Sakura, showing a sad, understanding smile. "The more I sympathized. If half of what she said was true."
Again, he lets his head drop forward.
"I could understand. I didn't agree with her, of course. Or with what she did. But I could see why she did those things." He then laughs bitterly. "But she was as cunning and ruthless as she was clever. It wasn't to garner sympathy from us, that she'd kept our ears bent for as long as she did. Just when she'd finished speaking, the castle started shaking around us."
By now, they've ceased walking, and the sun's rays peek over the horizon. Sakura's eyes are fully wide as she stares hard at the ground, wondering.
If I hadn't found Senpai… I mean, I can't see myself subjugating people, but could I have turned out like that? Hateful and twisted?
She's hesitant to dwell on it further, fearful of the answer she might find. And because she already sees it peaking out. After all, no one had come to rescue her from her horrific nightmare, either.
Taiasu goes on, speaking of how the castle went from shaking to imploding all around them.
"Yotsuyu used it as her opening. She leaped for this pistol she had and fired a shot right at Hien. He split the bullet in half with his blade. And that got me interested in the sword." His face holds a long-looking smile as he recalls. "Then he turned that blade on her. Slashed her with it. She fell right there… That's when the ceiling collapsed…"
Voice trailing, he recalls the next few moments, and what comes after them.
"That big lug, Gosetsu, caught it on his back. He stood there, telling us to run. Yugiri wasn't having it, but he said he'd manage by himself, somehow…" Taiasu looks up, showing a wistful smile. "Turns out he was right. Even after Yotsuyu used what little life she had left trying to stop him. She shot him with that gods damned gun. Quite a few times, but somehow he held up that miserable ceiling…"
"She doesn't sound very sympathetic…" Sakura mutters, her arms folded behind her back, leaning up against something and shaking her head.
Taiasu looks up, seeing her frowning, and he nods.
"No… Not this version of her. She was quite the evil piece of work. We fled while Gosetsu held up that damned ceiling somehow. Even after Yugiri and Hien said their final piece. I still don't know how he did it. We thought he and Yotsuyu were finished, but we found out later they'd turned up on some island somehow." Taiasu folds his arms, shaking his head and deeply furrowing his brow. "I'll never understand how that happened, either."
Sakura lets out a soft giggle at his words and face, then resumes listening quietly.
"Gosetsu told us, though. When he came around, both he and Yotsuyu were stranded on that island, and she'd been tending to his injuries."
"The ones she inflicted?" Sakura's eyes widen at that. "When she shot him?"
Taiasu nods. "Not without reason. Turns out, she'd lost her memories. Without them, she was… completely different. Loving, sweet… Timid… Demure, even. A lot like you, actually." He sighs, shaking his head again. "Nothing like the woman I first saw, or the one we saw in that castle."
Specifically recalling this gives him a moment to recover, and his form relaxes some. The tension eases out of his brow and face, and his hands hang loosely at his sides.
"Gosetsu changed her name to Tsuyu. He loved her like a daughter after that. Showed her all the affection she never knew during her youth. I forget when, but I learned at some point that he'd lost an actual daughter… So Yotsuyu served as a sort of surrogate for him. That's why, when she changed, he was so drawn to her."
Tired but unfinished, Taiasu flops down on the ground and rests his back against something.
"But it didn't matter. People didn't care that the Yotsuyu who brought them all that misery was dead and gone. She wasn't even dressed the same anymore. That dress was gone, and she was wearing this modest, greenish-grey robe instead. And fully closed, even. But they didn't care. They wanted this one dead, too. Regardless of what she was wearing. Or how she acted. At least, they felt that way for a while. But she was so different they were convinced, and they let her and Gosetsu live in peace…"
He goes quiet again, forcing back burning tears threatened by that damned dull, pounding ache in the front of his head. Like tiny vices, his hands clench so hard they shake as he folds his arms, slamming the ground with his glare as he heaves a shuddering sigh.
"Then her brother showed up."
Sakura slides toward the ground, resting her back against whatever now, too, and listening even more closely than before.
Her brother… The one he says Nii-san reminds him of.
"That's when everything went wrong. He was playing us from the start. Came to Doma, feigning some nonsense about an exchange of prisoners between us and Garlemald. All he cared about was tormenting Yotsuyu. Using her, abusing her… Again. His parents were there, too. When she saw them, her memories returned, and she tried to…"
Despite his hard swallow, the rage-filled, painfully burning lump in his throat persists.
"She tried to take her own life."
Sakura swallows against her own lump, those words reminding her of her own darkest moments. How she, too, had found herself driven to that extreme, though obviously she'd never followed through with anything.
"She was living as two people, then. Sweet and innocent, and torn by guilt over what she'd done. Mostly to Gosetsu, since he'd been treating her so kindly."
Taiasu hadn't seen it himself, her attempt on her life. It was something the Echo had shown him later.
"Just before… She had the blade turned to her throat. Was a short thing… Maybe the length of a hand-span. Wood handle, nothing fancy about it. But her parents showed up. Started mocking her, taunting her…" His voice trails, but his teeth grind so hard Sakura can hear them. His brow fissures again, so deeply it forces his eyes closed. "Saying they were going to sell her off again."
He laughs scornfully.
"She killed them. Good riddance, I'd say."
The silence following that statement could be cut with a knife. It's a very unsettling side of himself that he's shown to Sakura now. Regardless of how human it is. It cements within her a strong understanding that there's so little she actually knows about the small man who can speak with such callousness over something so heinous.
"I won't say that about many people…" He goes on. "But they definitely got what was coming to them. But the damage was done." Again, his eyes pinch closed as he recounts what happens next. "Her gods damned brother came to her, there and then. Planned the whole cursed thing. Didn't care she'd killed his parents. Oh, they weren't her parents. Just her stepparents."
This comes simply as an afterthought, but it helps to reduce the terrible act's severity in Sakura's mind.
"She left with her brother. He passed off to her some sacred Kojin relic."
He looks up again, sensing some motion from Sakura.
"Turtle people." He answers the unasked question. For a moment, grateful for the diversion, he shows another wide grin. "They're the ones who taught me to breathe underwater. Anyroad, we didn't know this happened. So we went to meet for this fake prisoner exchange."
He slows down some, taking in another deep and uneasy breath.
"We arrived where he told us. Yotsuyu was there, too. She wasn't Tsuyu anymore, and she was talking madness. Ranting about punishing Doma's people. That she planned to carry out Zenos's last order. To purge everyone who resisted the empire." He shakes his head, then drops it into his hands. "It got worse. She pulled out that relic, and then her brother… Asahi…" His hands clench again into fists that he presses against his head. "He revealed he'd been hiding all these crystals he brought with him. Countless numbers of the damned things."
It's at this point in his story, he's fully withdrawn into that moment. He can't see where they are anymore. Not the tip of the sun cresting over the horizon. Not Sakura, who sits listening in uncomfortable silence. Just that room, and Yotsuyu with madness in her eyes, that mirror in her hands, as her rage and will draw in the aether from that vast quantity of crystals, enveloping her.
Changing her.
"She… transformed. Her will, that relic, and those crystals. With them, she transformed into a primal…" He sighs again, shaking his head. "Those… Primals… They're like gods, but not actually gods. They're summoned by the will of many, or in cases like this, just one. It takes enormous amounts of aether. Usually, crystals are used for that. And as long as they're around, they drain the land, upsetting the aetherial balance in the process."
Sakura's eyes widen with surprise at this revelation. Some new, slight similarity between their worlds. Particularly, as it sounds like something which has already taken place several times in this city. Even for her, just a few days ago.
What he's saying… There are differences, obviously. But it almost sounds like he's describing a Servant being summoned…
Taiasu groans, letting his hands drop, kneading his knees and rocking back and forth on the ground.
"It was all a setup from the start! Her damned brother! He used all of it as a gods damned pretense to break off negotiations with Doma! When she…" He stares down at his hands, trembling. "After she did that… took that last step… We had to… We had to…"
His teeth grind again. Tears burning with rage and grief stream from his eyes, blurring his vision as he glares down at his hands, cursing them silently. Tears not just for her, but for someone else.
"G… Gosetsu…"
Forcefully, he wipes at his face, then shakes his head. Across from him, Sakura sits silently, watching, listening, her heart hammering in her chest.
Taiasu doesn't go into the particulars.
"When… When it was over… She was lying on her stomach… Then…" Suddenly, his eyes are murderous with rage. "Her brother shot her!"
He lets out a fierce, guttural growl, glaring forward, watching the moment in his mind. Remembering it, seeing it happen as if he was there.
"She rolled over from the first but he… HE SHOT HER AGAIN!"
Sakura startles as Taiasu slams the ground with both fists.
"Then he just saunters up to her…" His gloves groan, protesting the vice of his tightly clenched hands as he leans forward, slamming the ground again. "Used his position to taunt me! Said I wouldn't kill him because—" He turns his head and spits dryly at the ground. "—politics. He rambled and rambled. Madness about his lot as her second in Zenos' eyes. Called her names—!"
Again, he slams the ground, creating small divots.
"T-Taruko-kun…"
Speaking softly, Sakura can only watch, unable even to imagine what he's seeing. For her, it's a well-told story, but they're just faceless names she's never seen, known, nor heard of.
Beyond what she sees of herself in this 'Yotsuyu' person.
"Said she was a harlot! Called her useless! Worthless! A—" Again, the ground suffers as he drives his fists into it. "—whore! That BASTARD! She was lying there, dying, helpless, but he kicked her! Over and over! Stomped on her!"
The ground is a moment away from suffering further abuse, but he stops just before striking at what he imagines to be there. Deep and labored, his breath comes out. Through his nose, between his teeth, which grind so tightly they might shatter. In his chest, his heart is ready to burst.
But his face finally relaxes. His teeth recede as his lips slide closed, and his eyes drift shut, halting his furious flurry of tears.
"Then it was over… With the last of her power, she ran him through. Two swords, right through his chest and out his back. He never saw it coming. She didn't even have her hands on them. She just raised her hand up, lifting him into the air, stuck on those swords. The whole time, the madness never left his miserable eyes. He just glared at her, even as his teeth were clicking before she ripped them from him, letting him fall to the ground, limp and dying. Like she was."
Taiasu smiles bitterly at the ground.
"She found her peace with that. In her last moments… She breathed her last with a serene smile… I still remember her last words…"
He looks up from the ground, burning tears in his eyes, the world blurry around him, with those words ringing in his ears.
Words he keeps for himself.
A question no one could answer.
One no one would even understand the meaning of.
Were they…? Gosetsu…? Were they as sweet as you remembered?
It's a few moments more before Taiasu recovers from being so deep in his memory. Still glaring down, he wipes the stinging tears from his eyes.
She didn't… She didn't deserve that. Any of it! She was wrong, but she still deserved better than she got! That bastard, Asahi…!
He chokes out a shuddering sob, then wipes at his face again, gasping, trying to compose himself. It takes a full minute. A full minute of silence while Sakura looks across the way at him as he kneels forward, burying his face in his hands, his trembling periodically escalating to violent tremors.
Finally, he looks up, seeing Sakura's pressed brow and deep frown. But fuzzy, as if through a screen, and he's forced to wipe at his eyes again.
"You remind me of the best parts of her. What she was, unburdened by her past."
The way he's told this story, Sakura can only believe it's true. How he spoke, the way he relived the worst parts of it. Any lingering shred of doubt within her, this has quickly done away with. Not just the way it's been told, but the content as well.
If this isn't proof of his claim of origin, then such proof does not exist.
"T-Taruko… kun…"
Her words can't convey her thoughts, which themselves fail to form. If this is just one experience, one trial, then who or what can say just how much his diminutive frame has had to endure during his time?
"I'm sorry…"
It's all she can muster.
Taiasu shakes his head, then breathes out a heavy sigh.
"No… It's nothing to apologize for. She was a monster… But only because they made her a monster. Remembering the best parts of her… As Tsuyu… Doing that, at least she's gained some redemption. But your circumstances and hers…" He looks down, again grinding his teeth. "Her brother and yours…"
Finally, understanding blossoms forth, and Sakura's eyes widen fully.
The woman he's just described, the way her brother, this Asahi person, had treated her, and the way her own brother treated her in front of him. Not just at the archery range, but even in their own home.
I see… I was thinking of her in terms of myself. But Taruko-kun doesn't know any of that! He doesn't know just how… similar… this person and I are. He's only seen the worst of Nii-san. No wonder he'd draw that conclusion.
She shakes her head, then moves over to sit next to him. He trembles for a moment as she rests her hand on his shoulder.
"He's not always like you saw, you know. My brother…"
Reflexively, Taiasu scoffs, then bites his lip for it.
"S-sorry… I shouldn't have laughed. It's like I said yesterday. I can't comment…?" Finally, he looks around, then tilts his head. "Huh…? When did…?"
The sun hasn't yet reached halfway over the horizon, but Taiasu finally realizes where they are, and why they've stopped walking.
"When did we get to Shirou's house?"
Sakura blinks down at him, then lets out a light chuckle.
"Taruko-kun, we've been here for about ten minutes now. I just—"
Before she can finish, a loud crash comes from inside the house, startling them both and putting Rider on her guard.