Prologue
Skyrim is in the grip of a brutal winter, and Noxaura, High Priestess of Skyrim, Guardian Defender of Cyrodiil, and Knight of the Nine, must navigate the snow shrouded landscape without her most trusted friends and allies. Aric is away, searching for the absent twin Companions Vilkas and Farkas. Runa remains in Bruma, still reacquainting herself with the Fair-Shield clan, and her family heritage. Lucia and Lydia are in the Imperial Capital visiting Lucia's birth father (also known as Emperor Titus Mead II).
But Noxaura soon learns that something else also has Skyrim in it's grip, something terrible that will only release the frozen country through bloody constraint. Noxaura must find new allies if she is to have any hope of emerging victorious from the impending struggle that will push the Daughter of Kyne to her limit.
Acknowledgements
A Modder named FalmerBane wrote a small follower mod Noxaura – The Wolf Queen Priestess which introduced Noxaura to the Skyrim universe. She came equipped with a diary. It was during my most recent play through that I became acquainted with Nox and, after reading her diary, I thought it would be interesting to continue to add to it. Little remains of that original diary. What started out as a fun little idea grew into what you are about to read and, I hope, enjoy.
Cover image by Dallas Williams, used with permission - Thank you Dallas!
The Elder Scrolls® or Skyrim® names, logos, branding elements, artwork, etc. are the intellectual property of Bethesda Softworks.
This is a work of non-commercial fan fiction and not intended for, or to be used for, commercial purposes.
A separate, and well deserved, thank you to the Skyrim modding community, who have kept Skyrim alive, and allowed it to thrive, for so long.
Chapter 1
8th of Sun's Dawn
"Is it not somewhat large?" my mother asked to no one in particular.
Our small party stood and viewed the plain that was still referred to as Silent Moons Battlefield. The ancient ruins that stood nearby, and had given the battlefield its name, were directly behind us, only a short distance away. The day was still early enough that the shadow of the ruins had not yet begun to approach us.
"It will be much larger still, dear Lady, when your daughter's vision is realized." Jarl Balgruuf the Greater replied to the woman who, but for twenty years of additional time drawing breath, would be mistaken for my twin sister. "These markers only outline the Temple main structure."
"The orphanage, school, priory, library and mission will be marked out in due course." I explained, "Though at this rate, my life's span may be too short to see those completed."
"Progress will be quite rapid once the warm weather returns, your Grace." said the elderly, though still powerful, leader of the Companions.
"Kodlack is correct." Balgruuf said. "We were fortunate to have finished cutting the road and leveling the land before the ground became too frozen to work. But your new temple dedicated to Cybele will soon be a masterpiece of both beauty and architecture."
"I cannot thank you enough, sir, for allowing my retainers to lodge with your renowned group." I said to Kodlack Whitemane, as the three men in question stood a short distance away, each of their forms obscured, as all our forms were, by abundant cloaks and furs.
"It is the least I can do for a Knight of the Nine, Sir Noxaura," replied the Harbinger of the Companions. "For myself, I would do much more than that, if only to see that smile of which I have come to be so found."
"Of which smile do you refer," Balgruuf asked, "the younger or the elder? For myself, I am quite enamored by both, though I admit that I am drawn more to one than the other, since I do not have to compete with my brother the Thane of Whiterun for its attention. "
"Your brother the Thane is also my brother Companion, Jarl." Kodlack reminded Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. "But you are wise to avoid that particular arena when you compete with our shared brother."
"We all of us thank you for your hospitality, Harbinger." Ensim said to Kodlack, "Though I for one never thought I would be so comfortable living in a longboat."
"You ain't living in a longboat, chum." Toinen said to his comrade, "You are living underneath a longboat."
"There is truth in what you say, sir." Kodlack replied to Toinen, "But for we who are its permanent residents, it is simply our home; though until your arrival it has felt somewhat empty, so we will repay your thanks with our own."
"Has Aric learned anything at all about what may have befallen Vilkas and Farkas, or what has delayed their return for so long?" I asked both the Jarl and the Harbinger.
"You would certainly know more on that topic than we two." Balgruuf replied with a broad smile, "Your acquaintanceship being of a somewhat closer nature."
Much closer, indeed, on a nightly basis, though not recently, I thought. Not since Aric's investigation of the absence of the two Companions took on a more urgent nature.
"He has not yet returned from his most recent inquiries." I answered. "Each time he does return I am hopeful that he brings word that the brothers are safe, and each time I am disappointed."
"Whiterun misses the Thane and his family, as well as the twin brothers who are long overdue." Balgruuf said. "We are accustomed to Aric being away for long periods; he is Thane of many holds, as well as Archmage of the College of Winterhold, and we cannot expect all of his attention. But it is rare that Breezehome sits empty as it does now."
"With Lucia and Lydia visiting the Imperial City and Runa not yet returned from Bruma, Whiterun could not help but feel somewhat empty." I said. "I also miss my adopted family terribly."
"You are fortunate, then, to have your mother so close." Kodlack said as he smiled at my elder twin. "It is a fortune we all share."
"You make me blush, sir." My mother replied, "I am a simple provincial, and not used to such compliments."
"You are much more than that, Mother." I said. "But that is a topic for another time."
"I fear that all topics for discussion must wait if I am to avoid freezing to death." My mother replied.
"And Loga looks quite sullen." I said as I view my horse where she stood a short distance away. "The ground is bare of anything edible, and she seeks to upbraid me with her look."
"None of the horses look happy." Kodlack said. "They share our opinion of the weather."
"Come, Reverend Mother, we will ride together until our paths home diverge." Balgruuf said. "A warm hearth awaits us all."
It was just midday when our paths diverged finally as we passed the Whiterun stables and the permanent residents of Whiterun turned onto the short road north while my mother and I and my three retainers continued east along the main road that led to my cozy cabin which was almost equidistant between Whiterun and Riverwood. We four had attended our usual morning lesson in swordsmanship with our instructor Amren. They three would also have an evening lesson; but for me there would be no further lessons with my long time instructor; neither this day nor any other.
"You have surpassed my ability to teach you, Reverend Mother." Amren said to me after our morning class has concluded. "You require a more skilled instructor."
"There are no instructors more skilled than you." I replied. "Please, friend, do not cast me aside so casually."
"Skyrim is filled with instructors more skilled than I, your Grace." The Redguard warrior replied with a smile. "One of them is a member of the Companions and resides here in Whiterun. His name is Athis, and he and I have already spoken on the matter. He has observed you train twice, though you may not have noticed the dark elven warrior watching you. He has agreed to continue your training whenever you are in Whiterun. Rest assured, you are not being cast aside; you are being promoted, and placed into very capable hands, and you will benefit from the experience."
The memory of that conversation returned to the fore of my mind as I rode Loga, and as my mother drove our small cart, along the inclining road into the hills that began to rise just to the south and east of the outskirts of Whiterun, a road that would eventually lead to my home and, if one were to travel the road further, to Riverwood and, further still down the road, to the expanding village of Helgen where Kolmas' family resided. As was the habit in Skyrim this time of year, the sky had wasted no time filling with clouds, promising snow before nightfall.
"What is on your mind, dear?" my mother asked me. "Something clearly occupies your thoughts."
"I was thinking of my conversation with Amren earlier today." I replied. "He was one of the first friends I made when I arrived for my extended stay in Whiterun as a guest of Aric and his family. I spent a great deal of time in his company, though I admit that most of that time was quite strenuously spent. I will miss our daily lessons. There were days when the weather kept more sane residents indoors that Amren and I would take full advantage of every inch of road or stair or path to conduct our training. Danica informed me that several residents would venture out into the foul weather just to watch us as we trained."
"And now you have an opportunity to make a new friend in Whiterun." My mother replied. "And you do not lose any of your old friends in the process, as long as you make an effort to maintain those friendships."
"I had not thought of it in that manner." I said. "You are very wise, Mother."
"Must you sound so surprised at that fact?" she asked me with a smile and a laugh that was quickly answered by my own.
"No one who has ever met you would be surprised by that fact." I said, before turning to look at the three men who rode behind us, each clad in matching armor and wearing the dark blue livery that matched my dark blue robes, and marked our service to the Maetreum of Cybele, my religious order. "Would you three not agree?" I asked them.
"We agree most readily, your Grace." Ensim replied.
"And it is a trait that seems to run in your family." Toinen added.
"As does beauty." Kolmas said.
"Come, friends," I said, "my mother has grown quite red."
"You have gained a fair amount of color yourself, dear." My mother replied.
The hills above Whiterun rang with the sound of our laughter.
"When do you depart again for Morthal?" Camilla Valerius asked as she and Ensim made vain attempts to hide the fact that they were gazing at each other.
"In two days." I replied. "Will you have the items I requested by then?"
"The bulk of your order arrived this morning, Reverend Mother." Camilla replied. "We are promised the rest by this time tomorrow."
"That is wonderful news." I said. "If you will take Ensim with you and show him the items, he will see to the loading of the cart."
"If Mistress Camilla will assist me, I believe the two of us can see to the loading ourselves." Ensim said as Camilla attempted to hide her smile by turning her head and feigning a cough.
"The two of you may arrange that as you wish." I said. "But call for aid if it is needed. You do no one any good by causing yourselves an injury."
"That was very kind of you." My mother said to me after the pair had left. Toinen and Kolmas said nothing on the subject of their comrade and the shop keeper being smitten with each other; said nothing, at least, that was not said by silent mirth and a shared smile.
"They are both owed whatever happiness they can find." I said. "I wish them joy."
"Add a wish for patience as well, your Grace." Toinen said with a smile.
"Mistress Camilla will need it." Kolmas said, his nodding head displaying a smile as well.
"Dorthe, may I ask you a question?" I asked the young blacksmith who occasionally visited my cottage to use my forge when her father's forge was busy.
"Of course, Reverend Mother." She replied.
"Does the owner of the Inn bear some grudge or ill feeling against me?" I asked her, though in a voice that could also be heard by her father. "I cannot think what I could have said or done to deserve the tepid, nay frigid, reception I receive when I say anything at all to her."
"I'll wager you are not her main target, Reverend Mother." Dorthe's father Alvor said. "You are only a target of opportunity because of your close connection to Thane Aric. He is her primary target."
"But why?" I asked both father and daughter.
"None of us know for sure." Alvor said. "They were as thick as thieves for a while, many years ago, but had some sort of falling out. Aric tried to smooth things over, but she wouldn't have it, and he finally gave up. If them two pass in the street they ignore each other."
"She is very nice to us, though," Dorthe said, "both her and her husband Orgnar."
"She has a cough that I do not like, and which, given her age, could become serious." I said. "I attempted to speak to her about it, and offer her an elixir that would help her, but she acted as if I was invisible."
"She has always been stubborn and secretive." said Dorthe's mother Sigrid as she walked up and sat down on the bench of the sharpening wheel. "In that, she is a true Breton. You would think that all her years in Skyrim, or the years she spent in Cyrodiil before that, would have had some affect, but she is just as she was the day we met more than twenty years ago."
"I would help her if I could, but I do not know how to penetrate her defenses." I said.
"Give me the potion." Sigrid said. "I will transfer it to a different bottle and give it to her."
"Thank you, friend, that is very kind of you." I replied. "The Divines will surely bless you for your charity."
"The major portion of that blessing belongs to you, friend, " Sigrid replied with a smile, "but I will gladly accept whatever part is apportioned to me. I fear I will need it before winter turns to spring."
"Erens, you must fly if you are not to be stranded." I said to the boy whom I employed to care for Loga and my cart horse, who I had yet to name, as well as an assortment of other chores at and around my cottage, for which he and his sister were employed, and somewhat overpaid. "I see Hana has kept a closer eye on the weather than you. We passed her on the road a short while ago. She is certainly home by now."
"The snow is not so deep yet, Reverend Mother," Erens replied, as he took the large basket that Sigrid had given me, a basket filled with sausages and smoked meats, and that in my opinion weighed almost as much as Erens did, from my hands, "and I have my snowshoes. I will head home once I have seen to the horses."
I stopped on my covered porch and used both my free hands to cast a simply spell that produced a sharp localized burst of wind that removed all trace of snow from my boots. I repeated the process again for my mother.
"Do me now! Do me now!" Erens requested in his high voice, a voice that squealed and laughed in delight as I removed all trace of snow from his boots and woolen pants.
"This is for you, Erens." My mother said to the boy, once we three had entered the large single room that comprised the upstairs of my cottage, handing him a small parcel of sweets. "Your sister received hers on the road as we passed each other. Do not neglect your duties, but do not wait too long or you will be cooped up with two women until spring."
His young, clear laughter failed to conceal his ongoing infatuation with my mother.
Ensim, Toinen and Kolmas finished unloading the cart, storing the contents in the small wooden structure that was too large to be referred to as a shed but too small to refer to as a barn. They delayed their return to Whiterun and the warmth of Jorrvaskr long enough to assist Erens and see him on his way towards his own home.
"He's a smart lad, and he knows this road as well as anyone." Ensim said. "And his young legs will eat up the distance in no time. He will be warm and cozy in front of his own hearth well before we three see any warmth from our borrowed one."
It seemed that the sky was waiting only for my mother and I to be alone before it released the full force of the snowstorm that soon had everything blanketed with a thick layer of snow; everything, that is, that was protected from the frigid driving wind.
"There is much to be said for a cottage that is built above a living forge." My mother said later as we sat in the room that was both dining room and living room, a room that was, indeed, almost directly above the basement forge that kept virtually the entire cottage warm. "I would not believe I could be so warm on so cold a night."
"The blacksmith in Riften and Aric have a secret method of keeping the forge lit and warm that requires very little attention." I answered. "Almost as little attention as my Atra Luna forge, which, while beautiful to look upon, gives no warmth whatsoever."
"That description could also be applied to some men of my acquaintance." My mother replied, her smile growing slightly as her hands continued to repair a small tear in a stocking.
Her timing was just accurate enough to avoid a spray of tea from my mouth.
"Mother!" I said when my coughing had subsided. "I believe that was deliberate."
"Never in life, dear." She answered in a less than convincing tone, her devious smile aimed firmly at the almost repaired garment. "It was purely coincidence."
"I will not ask you to expand on those men who fit that description." I said. "I prefer to cling to my image of you as a being above such feelings."
"The life of a young widow in a small village whose nest is empty of children is a special form of cloister." She answered. "In some ways it is much like your own cloister after Catilia stole you away from the Mother House. But it was not quite so isolated as that, and I am made from the same clay that composes all women. Is it so strange that I could know men besides your father?"
"It is not the least bit strange." I replied. "You met Aric after all, decades before I did."
"We met in a dream we shared, which is not quite the same thing." She said. "And my previous description in no way applies to him."
A strong gust of wind halted our conversation for a moment.
"Even the storms in Skyrim are more wild that those in southern Cyrodiil." My mother said as she looked at the ceiling rafters. "This is truly an untamed land."
"In many ways that is true." I said. "But I have also found much kindness and friendship here. I am sure I would have done so had I stayed in Cyrodiil, wherever the Mother House sent me finally to serve Cybele and her flock. But I would not trade the friends and family I have found in Skyrim for all the gold in the world."
"It appears that the Mother Goddess always intended that you should be here, serving her amongst those who barely know her name." She replied. "Your temple and all its affiliated parts will be a beacon of light to those in need, a testament to The Order of the Communities."
"If that was truly her intent, she chose a path for me that was marked with much pain, and loss, and suffering." I answered. "Would she do that intentionally?"
"I cannot answer that, dear." She said. "You are here now, that is what matters. The road behind you is fixed. It is the road before you that requires your attention."
We were both quiet for a few moments.
"I am so very glad that you are here, Mother." I said.
Evening became night, a night for warm nightgowns and warm comforters, basement forge or no. My mother and I had retired, each to our own rooms, some time ago, but the howling storm outside, the creaking timbers of my home, and my racing mind all conspired to keep sleep a safe distance from me.
The physical injuries I had sustained in Cyrodiil were almost completely erased by time, care, potions, and Restoration magic.
Those injuries that were not inflicted upon flesh and bone, but that resided in the more hidden layers of my mind and spirit - those layers hidden from the naked eye - those injuries traveled a more circuitous road; a road that often turned back upon itself without warning. The nightmares that had often disturbed my sleep, as my nighttime cries had likewise disturbed my mother's rest, were much less frequent, my cries reduced to silent tears.
But it was not thoughts of Cyrodiil that conspired to keep me awake; at least, not solely thoughts and memories from the southern land that was the home of my birth, and the home of my order. Aric's absence, as well as the absence of my two adopted sisters, the woman they called their mother, and the twin members of the Companions - all these absences played their part as well.
"Your life has been one of constant upheaval." Danica had said some days previous. "You returned home, expecting home to be just as it was when you left it. And while that is true in large part, several important parts are absent or changed. You have yourself undergone a change born of blood and pain. You will adjust in time. Give yourself leave to take what time is needed."
Change had indeed come to my adopted home, and to my place within it.
Idgrod Ravencrone, Jarl of Morthal, Governing Authority of Hjaalmarch, in recognition of her services to both my person and my village and villagers, hereby appoints Sir Noxaura Jarnesus Thane of Hjaalmarch, authorizing her to purchase property, build an Estate, and hire Retainers.
Unlike Aric's appointment as Thane of Hjaalmarch, which had been delivered by courier, my appointment had been delivered by the hand of the Jarl herself during my last visit to Morthal.
"We cannot have you constantly filling our poor Inn to overflowing with your entourage, Sir Noxaura." The Jarl had said, her face wearing the sly grin that seemed to be a frequent visitor to her middle aged, though still attractive, frame. "A pleasant, warm lodge sits vacant in Heljarchen now that my sister Argi has relocated to Windhelm. A deed of sale has been entered into the Hjaalmarch registry of deeds. I will not bore you with the details of the sale since they are entirely fabricated. It is sufficient to say simply that you now own property in Hjaalmarch, property that is now under the care of your housecarl Ariel Windrime. Ariel mentioned in passing that the two of you met when you briefly visited the College of Winterhold during the recent troubles in Skyrim. She was a student then, but is now a graduate, and she was delighted for the posting as your housecarl. You must retain her for one year, after which either of you may part with the other without harm or foul. She is a good friend of Aric's daughter Delphine, who has also recently graduated."
Balgruuf, upon hearing of this recent development, and having no intention of being outdone by his friend and somewhat distant neighbor, called for ink and parchment before sitting down and writing a similar document for the hold of Whiterun.
"Let us enter into a friendly agreement and stipulate that this document, which should be allowed some time for the ink to dry, was already in the works when Idgrod handed you her own version." Balgruuf said with a grin that much resembled that of his neighbor.
"You each do me more honor than I can bear, Jarl." I replied. "Thank you, dear friend."
"You deserve much more than this." Balgruuf replied. "I will not burden you with a housecarl, not yet at least. You already have too many mouths to feed and house."
"It was only a short time ago that it was only Railius and me, traveling alone across Skyrim. I recognize my life less and less each passing day." I said.
"I have been a member of that club for quite some time, your Grace." He replied with a laugh.
These thoughts, as well as others, continued to fill my mind as Skyrim's untamed weather once again demonstrated its indifference to titles or positions of authority of any kind.