Street is running along the beach at top speed. His mind is still spinning. The moment Hondo walked into the room and announced he is back, that nothing will change, just broke his spirit at that moment. All hope he had for a quick and easy solution was gone in a heartbeat.
That date? Probably history for however long it will take him to convince Chris that him changing teams is the best option they have. Would she ever agree to that? Maybe they needed to talk just one more time. He shakes his head, and quickens his pace to try, and just exhaust himself to a point where his mind stops running a mile a minute.
When he walks through the door, a smiling Luca greets him.
"Hey buddy. Wasn't that a crazy day?" He greets him. Street comes into the kitchen and grabs a glass of water.
"You can say so. Seems like everything's back to normal." He concludes, unable to suppress his disappointment.
"Tell me, would you rather Hondo hadn't come back? Somehow you don't sound thrilled." Luca frowns and gives him a wait-and-see look.
"No. No, you misunderstood. Of course I'm glad he's back, but I, um, I don't know what to make of Sanchez." He tries to talk his way out of it.
"I feel the same way. Strange guy. There's food in the fridge for you, by the way." Luca calls out before disappearing into the bathroom.
"Oh, thanks. Aren't you going to eat?"
"No. I'm going out with Tuana and Kelly." Grinning, the older man comes back into the kitchen. "How do I look?"
"Terrific." A laugh comes from Street. "Have fun."
"Thanks!" Luca still shouts as he closes the front door behind him and disappears.
As Street lies in his bed he considers writing to Chris, but he lets it go and tries to sleep.
The next morning, Commander Hicks has called 20-David and 50-David into the briefing room. No one knows what's going on and everyone seems a little nervous, especially Hondo.
"It's good to see all of you. I don't want to beat around the bush. Captain Lynch and I have decided to reshuffle the teams, despite the full complement." Hicks pauses, waiting for initial reactions. Street's gaze brightens immediately after this announcement and he seeks a look with Chris. She, too, suddenly seems confident and gives him a slight smile. A murmur goes through the round and everyone exchanges confused looks with each other.
"We want to bring a little fresh wind in here and have therefore decided on this measure. Any objections?" He looks around.
"I have a question." It's Rocker. "Will it be three teams then, or two each larger?"
"The teams will remain at six members each. There will be one new colleague in addition to Sanchez, who has his first day tomorrow. He's already in SWAT, but in a different division. His name is William Newcombe." Hicks informs everyone. "And now I'm going to announce who's on what team."
The announcement is pretty quick. From Rocker's team, three people move over to Sanchez.
"So and the two that will be moving to 50 - David are: Jim Street and Christina Alonso. The new colleague Newcombe will follow tomorrow. I hope you are all satisfied. This concludes the meeting." Hicks nods to everyone and leaves the room.
Chris and Street look at each other in shock. Neither of them moves and they know exactly what that means... It's business as usual. No date, no relationship, nothing. Tan, Luca and Deac stand with them and look at them sadly.
"Oh man why this stupid restructuring? Everything was fine the way it was." Luca says in frustration.
"This really sucks." Tan answers.
"Guys, we have to live with it now and make the best of it. We're still a team at heart." Deac tries to lighten the depressed mood.
In the locker room, everyone slowly says goodbye until only Chris and Street are left.
"What are we going to do Chris?" She can feel his breath on her skin.
"Nothing, everything stays as it is for now." She says dryly and looks at him. "I really had hope for a minute that everything would be okay." She admits softly and turns to him. He reaches for her hands and squeezes them.
"Hey we can work this out, ok? I can still propose and - "
"No. Street we've had this conversation so many times. I can't let you do that. Not for a relationship. Not even for us." She says the last sentence sadly, resignedly.
"Okay, then we'll have to think of something else." He squeezes her hands again. Chris closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
"It's not all that simple, you know that. Just give me more time, please." She looks at him and their gazes go so deep that she has to control herself again and keep her distance. "I'm going to go now. Good night." And she's gone. Street is left disappointed and confused.
One week later, something like routine has set in. The teams are working well together and William Newcombe is also doing a good job.
Street stands in front of his open locker in the locker room and stares inside. He has just received what is probably the worst news a son can receive. The door opens but he doesn't realize it.
"Hey Street. I, I just heard about it. I'm so sorry." It is Chris who slowly approaches him. She seeks his gaze but he avoids it.
"Thanks. It's okay, I can handle it." Is his curt reply. As if by herself she has to roll her eyes, because once again he wants to work everything out with himself alone. What did she expect, either?
"I'm here if you need me." She puts his hand on her shoulder. Street turns his head in her direction and smiles weakly.
"Thanks."
The day passes without much trouble, and everyone on the team is eager to show Street that they are there for him.
In the HQ kitchen, he has just grabbed a bottle of water when Hondo enters the room.
"Hey, how you doing kid?" He stands up to the younger man.
"Do you really care?"
"What's up with you? Of course!" Hondo frowns.
"You know Hondo, back in the day you told me we are family, good friends, and would support each other no matter what." Street pauses and looks at his counterpart.
"Yeah, and that's still true."
"Oh yeah, then where were you the last few months when I needed you as a friend? Where were you when I was in the hospital fighting my way back? Where were you when we needed you here on the team uh? You just took off and abandoned me." Street really talks himself into a frenzy.
"Hey kid, I know it wasn't fair of me, but I just needed to figure some things out. I needed some time to myself." Hondo tries to explain himself.
"And you had to go to Mexico to do that? You couldn't have done that here? We could have talked Hondo." Street shakes his head.
"I'm sorry, very sorry Street. It wasn't okay to run away from me, I realize that now, but at the time I thought it was right. I care about you and I want to be there for you. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here." He puts a hand on Street's shoulder and he nods. He needs to calm down for now.
Just before closing time, Chris sits on the bench in the locker room. She keeps kneading her fingers and nodding to herself. She looks like she's looking for reassurance, confirmation that her decision is the right one. She has made a decision that will affect Street, herself and their relationship and she doesn't know if that's a good thing. After changing her clothes, she grabs her backpack and walks firmly to Hicks' office. She stands in front of it and takes another deep breath before knocking and entering.
Sitting on the sofa late at night, Street stares at his hands resting in his lap. His thoughts won't let him rest, and the same phrase runs through his head over and over.
He's alone now, all alone.
The knock on the front door brings him back from these gloomy thoughts and he looks up. Exhaling deeply, he drags himself in that direction, because he doesn't really feel like company. Peering through the peephole, he closes his eyes again briefly and tightens his shoulders. Actually, he should have figured she'd come over...
"Hey." He greets her as he opens the door.
"Hey." She says softly and from her look he can already tell she's worried about him. "I, um I wanted to see how you are doing." Uncertainly she looks at him and with a wave of his hand he invites her in.
"It's okay, I guess." He says as he walks into the kitchen. Arriving at the counter, he supports himself with his hands there and looks at the countertop. "Am I a bad person for being relieved that she's dead now?" Suddenly he seeks her gaze and his eyes look desperate.
She swallows hard, because she didn't expect that statement.
"No. No, not at all. I can understand you." She replies, holding his gaze.
"Somehow it all seems so pointless. I donated part of my liver to her and for what? For her continuing to use drugs and trampling everything underfoot." Frustration is clear in his voice.
"I admire you for that, you know that. You took on so much for her. You're right to be frustrated and disappointed."
"I think she's really at peace now and hopefully where she is now she's doing well." Silence dominates the room before he finds his voice again. "You know what the worst thing is that I really realized today?" Pausing briefly, he looks at her again. "I don't have anybody now. I'm all alone." He lowers his head and she can see there are tears in his eyes.
"Hey, don't say that. You're not alone, you hear me. You have me." The last sentence comes across her lips in a near whisper. With narrowed eyebrows he looks up.
"What are you doing here anyway Chris?" He stares at her and his gaze seems hard. She didn't expect this question and she feels how much this sentence hurts her.
"I want to be here for you Street. I want to show you that you don't have to work all this out with yourself." His gaze almost pierces her and she looks away, unable to withstand it.
"Chris, I, I can't do this anymore. What is this between us? You've lodged yourself in my heart and every time I see you it hurts. I can't touch you, I can't kiss you, I can't hold you. Nothing at all. I can't do this anymore." His gaze has now changed from hard back to desperate and he looks at her pleadingly.
"Street. You know we can't be together right now." She tries, but he cuts her off.
"Yes and you know that I would never ask you to break your rule, but there is still the possibility that I change teams." Even as he mentions this suggestion, she shakes her head vehemently.
"No way. You know I won't let that happen." She says in a firm voice.
"Then I don't know what else to do either. I, I want to be alone now, please." He looks at her hurt one last time and walks past her into his room.
Chris closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Her jaw is tense and she swallows hard. She waits a moment before following him and knocking on his door.
"I want to be alone now. Please go." She hears him grumble from inside. Again she knocks. Three times this time.
"Damn it Chris, I want my - " But he freezes in his sentence as the sight of her makes him wonder. Chris is standing in front of him, shaking. She's shaking all over and looks nervous. "What's wrong? Everything´s ok?" He takes a step to the side and lets her in. She sits down on his bed and seeks his gaze. With her left hand, she pats the mattress and gestures for him to sit down.
"I signed the papers today. I'm switching back to Sanchez on the team."