Hi guys.
I hope you enjoy this chapter. Tell me what you think in the comments.
This story is dedicated to all Abuse and sexual assault victims.
May this story remind you of your power.
Summary: Bella thinks the death of her abusive father will mark the end of her troubles. What happens when she discovers her troubles are far from over. What if many of them are mental? What more underhanded tricks will she play to reach the life she envisioned for herself and her children? What challenges will arise from her entanglement with the mafia families? What demons will she need to conquer to get to her dreams?
I don't own twilight. I own my characters' experiences, pasts, and internal struggles.
She stands alone. No one approaches her. They know better than to. Years of visits and calls unanswered have taught them better than to contact her. Part of her resents them for it. The other part, the smaller one, understands. She wouldn't be friends with herself if given the choice.
You wanted that, remember. You did not want anyone to know. Now with his death, you can't have anyone know.
She reaffirms the thoughts in her head as she watches him in the open casket. That doesn't stop her from wishing she had someone to hug her at this moment. She is completely alone.
She has her children, and Aunt Carmen, for now. Sure, she doesn't know anything, and she has to leave at one point or another. Yet, it doesn't change the fact that she has her for now. Having her is good. If her aunt Carmen had not decided to come for the funeral, she would have had to bring Adam and Peter with her to the funeral.
She can't imagine something worse she could do to them than to bring them here. No need for them to see their angry grandfather dead. She doesn't know what kind of a reaction they would have and can not control it. She doesn't want to expose them to this kind of trauma.
She shivers in the cold as she stares at his casket. She finds it hard to connect him with the person who tormented her for years. He looks too fragile and pale.
The first drop of rain lands on her nose, then the sky opens. An umbrella opens up above her shielding her from the rain, as someone moves to stand beside her. She looks to her right and sees his assistant, Mike handing her the umbrella with another one in his other hand.
Good, she thinks to herself as she watches the crowds scatter in fear of being drenched.
The casket is lowered. The masses disperse. Bella turns toward Mike and asks him for privacy. He leaves her standing alone in the rain.
Where is the figure that used to overpower her, and pummel into her all the anger and rage this town never saw?
He is dead. 6 feet under the ground.
She stares at his tombstone, Mayor, and beloved father and grandfather.
She stares at his tomb for a couple of seconds. "Rot in hell," she whispers angrily.
She walks to Mike and hands him the umbrella. "Keep it, I am sorry for your loss he was a good man," he tells her sympathetically.
If you only knew.
That is her fate, to hold her thoughts, and tell her story when no one is listening.
That was your fault. You were haste. You did not use your brain. You let your emotions control you. You are lucky that the coroner is in Aro's pocket, or you would have had a different fate.
No, I wouldn't. I would have found a way to save my skin. I am not completely helpless as I have already proven.
Sure you would have. But didn't Aro make everything easier?
Her thoughts linger on that question.
On the outside, she maintains a mask of indifference as she nods at him and then turns her back to the cemetery, and leaves. The moment she is in the driver's seat of the car, she relaxes back and closes her eyes. Her lips stretch into an enchanting smile. She would like to pretend that it's because he is gone. This is true. He is finally out of her life. She is finally free. In more ways than one. But she has been for the last week. Her current reason for happiness is that she is going to drive his car for the first time. He has been forcing her to drive the 2 steps away from a boneyard truck for the last seven years. He never allowed her to use his.
Twisting in the keys, she pulls out of the parking lot and speeds toward home. When she pulls into her driveway, she finds a lot of cars parked.
In other words, some people have already shown up for the wake.
Nice, Mrs. Cope wouldn't even approach me in person during the funeral. Yet has no problem showing up to the wake before me, his next in kin.
As she enters the house, she realizes there are more people in the house than she anticipated. She looks for her aunt, nodding at individuals who notice her walk by until she finds Carmen in the kitchen.
Turning her back to the server she was instructing she tells Bella, "Thank god you came. When the hell did the both of you amass this number of friends?" She looks out of her comfort zone trying to instruct the servers.
"How the hell would I know. This is probably the most interesting event of the year in Forks," Bella replies.
"Obviously since we already have had to fill some of the empty plates on the buffet. With so many people arriving."
Neither of them grew up in Forks. Carmen's mum, Grandpa Swan's second wife moved herself and Carmen to Los Angeles when she was four after divorcing Grandpa Swan. She rarely visited.
Bella's parents separated when she was two. Her mum was discovered in a thrift store in Seattle by a model agent in New York who was visiting his in-laws. She and her mum were on a plane to New York before the ink dried on the divorce papers. Like her aunt, Bella rarely visited Forks growing up.
Both of them don't know half of the people in the house.
Bella notices a parcel without a return address on the counter beside the sink. Carmen notices what she is staring at and says, "It arrived right after you lift for the funeral. Take it to your room and check on Peter on your way. He was a little bit anxious and fussy to sleep alone, so I moved his cot to your room and had Adam nap in your bed."
Before she goes up the stairs she tells Carmen, "Take a break, you look like you need it. Seth can deal with all of this. That is what I am paying him to do."
From the bottom of the stairs, she hears the rattling of a door handle. She finds its source once she gets to the top.
"What are you doing?"
Lauren, who was trying to open Bella's bedroom jumps in fear. "I am looking for the bathroom."
"It's downstairs, first door to your right after the coat closet," Bella points out. "I must have forgotten," Lauren says excusing herself.
Liar, she spent enough time over in Junior year in high school to know where the bathroom is.
Then she moves aside gesturing for Lauren to pass. And she does. Lauren is standing at the top of the stairs about to descend them when she hears her name called.
"Yes."
She turns around to face Bella. "Don't forget where the bathroom is again. You don't want your wandering to get you in trouble now, do you?"
A shiver runs down Lauren's spine as she nods her head. She knows the consequences of angering a Swan all too well. All of this town does. People who have gone toe to toe with Charlie Swan, somehow find themselves in horrible predicaments. The fact that he switched between being the Chief of Police and the mayor over the years only added to his power and connections.
The apple did not fall far from the tree.
Bella knows the system well enough. She is smart and has a real understanding of life that most of her contemporaries in school lacked. She knew how to play the system in high school. It made her both the teacher's favorite, and every student's nightmare. She was not unnecessarily cruel. She simply made life a living hell for whoever harassed her or challenged her self-appointed position in the HS hierarchy, the royalty. Until she no longer could. But, that doesn't take away from her ability to intimidate everyone.
Bella locks the door behind her. She places the parcel on her dresser then walks towards her bed and sits beside Adam's sleeping form. She moves his hair to feel his temperature. Both of them have been down with the flu. She measures his temperature with the thermometer from the bedside table.
100 F, good.
Then she measures Peter's temperature.
103 F, lower than before but not out of the woods.
She stares at him. Most of the time, she can't believe he is hers. The rest of the time she is freaking out over the fact that she needs to take care of a 10-month-old newborn. Adam is precious to her too. But Peter is different.
Finally, after what felt like forever but was only 3 minutes, she sits on the bed and reaches for the parcel. She cuts it open using her long nails, too lazy to get up and find a pair of scissors. She opens the parcel and finds a letter that reads.
Dear Bella,
You have been of great help to my family. So we felt it was only appropriate for us to pay you for your loyalty and kindness. Along with this letter, you will find a deed to a 2-story house in Seattle should you decide to move. Between it and sharing the inheritance with Carmen, something I made sure of. Why have Billy and Jacob inherit everything?
Moreover, you will find the latest book of your Adam's favorite series, sorry can't remember its name. It hasn't been published yet. Dydme is friends with the editor and decided to get it for your son when she found out it's his favorite.
Lastly, there is a gun registered to your name alongside its paper. It's for safety. You won't be able to keep any of the guns your dad owned. Use it wisely.
If you ever need anything you only need to ask. If you move to Seattle and need to find a job, I will help with that.
Love,
Aro
She sets down the card and looks through the parcel and sure enough, there is a gun, a deed, and a book in the parcel.
She picks the letter and rereads it.
Now the confidence they had yesterday makes sense.
Flashback
She hears an insistent knocking on the door as she carries Peter on her hip trying to calm him down. He caught the flu from Adam and for the last hour he has been screaming his head off.
She is trying to calm him down as the knocking gets more urgent and Peter's sob became more heart-wrenching.
She opens the door while rubbing soothing circles on his back. The two of them march inside as if they own the place.
"God, you're such a lousy mother." She rolls her eyes at him as she hums softly in Peter's ears.
He is sick you idiot
"Don't roll your eyes at my son," barks Billy as he rolls himself into the house.
I see they both brought their sunny personalities with them. Lucky me.
"What do the both of you want?" she asks, her glare making it clear that her soft voice is for her son's benefit. "Get us a beer," Jacob tells her dismissively.
Calm down and don't let him get to you.
"If you haven't noticed I am kind of in the middle of doing something. That said, since you did not hear me the first time, I will rephrase myself. What are you doing here?"
"You are a bitch that can't even follow orders. I guess I will have to work on that when you live under my roof. I will just get myself the beer," he replies dismissively.
He walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge. "What do you think you are doing," she asks following him behind with Peter at her hip sucking his thumb, watching everyone apprehensively. Almost as if he could sense the coming storm.
"So, you're a bitch that is also stupid. Were you not on the track to becoming valedictorian, had you not opened your legs. How did you get those grades? by cheating? I just told you I am getting a beer. Speaking of beer where is it?"
You will not let him get to you. You have your son to worry about.
She closes the fridge, barely missing his fingers by an inch, and replies, "There is not any." "How the hell are we going to watch the game if there is no beer," Jacob snarls at the same time that Billy yells from the other room, "Jacob I can't turn this piece of shit on, come and do something before we miss the beginning of the game, and for heaven's sake get me some beer, you are taking too long."
Jacob goes back to the living room and tells his dad there is no beer. Billy mutters, "the first rule you need to teach her is to always have beer."
"Nah that's rule number two. Rule number one is to not ask questions and do as told," Jacob replies as he started surfing the TV channels.
Are they crazy?
"No one is going to teach me anything. The both of you need to leave, you have a TV in your house you can watch the game on," Bella says forcefully, then stands in front of the TV right after she unplugged the TV's cord. "I change my mind, the first rule is to respect your superiors."
Superiors?
Jacob gets up and tries to plug the TV cord in. The keyword is, tries, because Bella stops him from doing so by snatching it from him. "You are only adding more punishments to your future by not doing as I say. I will not have this kind of disrespect under my roof," Jacob threatens.
This man has officially lost his mind.
His tone scares Peter who starts whimpering and hides his face in her neck. "You are delusional if you think I want to ever have anything to do with you," Bella snarls.
For a second there is silence, right before a faint mummy is heard from the stairs. In fear that Jacob will get to him, Bella runs towards Adam who is standing on the step right before the landing. He is holding a teddy bear in one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other one.
"baby, are you okay? Are you feeling any pain?" She asks as she crouches and feels his forehead while still holding Peter at her hip. "why are you angry, I got scared," he mumbles as he hugs her vacant side. She rubs his back in circles with the hand not holding Peter while glaring at Jacob, who with complete disregard for what just happened plugged it into the TV cord.
"You spoil them too much, I won't allow you to do that anymore," he said as he bent forward beside her.
He is too close.
"You will do no such thing," she fires back. While she adopts a tone that is angry and fearless, on the inside she is scared out of her mind. Completely ignoring her Jacob continues, "if I hear you whining again, I will tan your hide. Get rid of this teddy bear I never want to see it again," he adds the last part as an afterthought.
The hell you will
"Mummy, who is this man?" Adam asks her referring to Jacob. "Your new daddy," Jacob answers before straightening up and sitting on the couch in front of the TV.
"No, he is not baby. I want you to go to your room and lock it then take out the keys from the lock and close your ears. Don't open to anyone. I have a key to open it from the outside, I will get you in five minutes, okay?" Bella whispers in his ears. He nods biting his lips and runs up the stairs. He almost trips over his pajama pants but catches himself at the last moment. Then he looks back at her, seeing her still there, he slows down a bit without needing to be told so.
Only after she hears the door getting locked, does she match toward them. "Who the fuck do you think you are, telling my son you're going to beat him and that you're his new father? Did you fall on your head on your way over or something?" His huff of boredom turns into irritation as he sees her unplug the TV yet again.
"That is what Charlie wants," he replies. "Charlie is dead so if that was what he wanted, he should have made his wishes clear while alive," she replies. "It's not like you have a choice. Charlie made it clear that you can stay in the house only if you marry Jacob in his will," Billy spouts. Jacob looks at his father sharply as if he said something she shouldn't know, "what you're codling her, let her know who's in control."
Why am I not surprised.
"I will not marry you. If what you are claiming is true, then I will find another accommodation," she answers.
"let's face the facts, you are a 23 years old single mum to two children. You have zero work experience. Modeling doesn't count. You have no degree. Do you think anyone will hire you? unless you want your children to starve you have no option but to marry me, " he states with faux sympathy.
If he only knew.
"I truly appreciate you worrying over my kids and respect your kind heart. You are a fine example of how men should behave."
Jacob's smile becomes smugger with every word she says. He does not catch on to her sarcasm. "That said, I will sadly have to turn down your extremely generous offer."
"You do know that your dad had custody over the children because you were an unfit mum. I could always sue for custody," he points out.
"You won't," she snaps. She curses in her mind. She showed emotions. Now he know what button to press.
"Marry me and none of that will happen. You won't have to worry about having a roof above your head, getting a job, or finding childcare. You can continue being a stay-at-home mum. We will have more babies and I will adopt your boys" he states as if he has given her the offer of a lifetime.
His words draw a picture of domestic bliss. Her mind sees an unending life of servitude. A life that will have its vines wrapping around her throat until it leaves her blue in the face.
"No."
"No? you think I was giving you a choice. I am not. I am telling you what will happen," she shakes her head stepping back.
"You know what. I should just take one of your sons from you. Maybe then you will understand what I am capable of doing. After all, who is going to stop me?" he asks rhetorically. He tries to snatch her son from her arms but she jumps two steps back.
Peter started wailing. She lightly jumps him in her arms. "You will not take my kids from me," she says with venom in her voice. "Oh, but I will," he fires back.
"No, you won't," she screams.
For a moment everyone is silent. Jacob looks at her dumbfounded as if he never expected her to scream at him. Peter stares at her in fear. she stares back at him in with guilt written all over her face.
"I am so sorry baby," she whispers her voice breaking as a tear rolls down her cheek.
Sorry that you have to experience this.
Sorry for every dumb choice I ever made.
Sorry for trusting the wrong people.
Then that moment is over. Peter starts screaming bloody murder. Jacob makes some strange sound, a mixture of growl and a cry of war, then he hisses, "You did not just yell at me, and in front of my father no less! I will teach you a lesson."
If she was not afraid of him before, now would be the time for her to be. She takes a step back in fear looking at Billy who looked just as furious as Jacob sounds. She almost wants to beg him to stop his son but knows that it is useless. She dashes towards Charlie's office and right before he reached her, she smacks the door in his face and locks it behind her.
Placing her son on the couch, she paces back and forth trying to think of a way out of the mess she is in. She curses herself and her luck as she runs her hand through her hair in frustration. She left her mobile phone in her room upstairs. She has no way of calling the police.
She stops moving and stands in her place. She takes a deep breath and exhales, right before she walks towards the couch Peter is on. Picking him up, she puts him on her lap as she sits on the couch.
She ignores the soft thuds echoing off the door and hugs Peter. For a couple of seconds, she pretends the rest of the world doesn't exist. She hums his favorite nursery rhyme, twinkle twinkle little star, and rubs his back. She rocks him back and forth. She is successful in keeping the rest of the world out, till she is not.
Pulling him away from her chest she looks into his eyes as she tells him, "I am here baby. It's okay. I am not going anywhere. Everything is okay," He stares at her, finally quiet save for the hiccups.
"It's okay baby, everything will be fine," she tells him. Part of her keeps repeating that it's okay to calm him down. Another part of her is repeating it to calm herself.
He looks at her patting her tear-stricken face. "mummy owie," "No baby I am okay." She picks up a tissue off the coffee table and pats her cheeks dry. She sits him on the couch on his own and crouches in front of him. "I want you to sit here and be a good boy, okay?" She asks. "Gboo," he repeats after her what slightly sounds like a good boy. "Yes, you are," she replies.
Then she gets up and frantically searches the office for a phone or anything.
As she stands behind her father's disk, she feels the cold air hit her back. She turns towards the window behind her and notices that the latch of the window is not completely closed. She closes it.
No need for Peter to feel cold.
Window and cold, wait a minute,
What if I jump through the window and get to our neighbors and ask for their help?
They are two miles away, are you crazy?
Hear me out I am a fast runner.
You are barefoot.
Doesn't matter. I am a fast runner.
Faster than Jacob?
She looks out of the window in disappointment. The ground is covered in a blanket of snow. The snow is white. Too white. It could get blemishes by anything. Blood for example.
She turns frantically and searches through her dad's disk.
It has to be here somewhere. He always keeps his gun close by.
"You better get out of the office before he breaks the door of Adam's room and take him instead."
"Never."
Finally, she finds it. She collects the pillows in the office. Then goes into the en-suite bathroom and gets the towels in there.
She ends up with 3 throw pillows, 2 seat cushions, 2 back pillows, and 2 towels. She places all the seat cushions and back pillows on the ground surrounding the single couch he is on. Then she wraps the towels around him covering every inch of him aside from his face. Then lastly, she places him on the back of the couch and surrounds him with the throw pillows. All in the hopes that he doesn't fall off the couch, and if he does, he doesn't get hurt.
Getting down on both knees she looks under the door to make sure neither Jacob nor Billy are anywhere near it. She gets off the ground and kisses Peter's forehead. She checks under the door another time and then opens the lock slowly.
She locks it and drops the office key in her back pocket. Keeping the gun behind her back, she strolls into the living room still hiding the gun behind her back. She finds Billy sitting in the living room watching the game like a damn psychopath.
She hears the thudding of the door up the stairs, of Jacob, no doubt making good on his promise.
"Jacob, come and face me like a man instead of terrorizing my son like the coward you are," she yells towards the stairs. "How dare you disrespect my son that way." "You," she says pointing her finger at him, "will shut the fuck up if you know what is good for you," she yells extra loudly to make sure Jacob hears her.
Never failing to get instigated, Jacob thunders down the stairs in her direction. "How dare you disrespect my father that way?"
"What will you do about it big boy? beat my children? like that would make you a man," She says mocking as she provokes him. She wants to get a reaction out of him. She wants him to think he has her right before she stricks.
"Says the one that hides in the office instead of facing me," he replies stepping towards her. "Have I ever put you under the assumption that I am a man dumbass?" In the two seconds between her saying that and him taking another step towards her, she has the gun pointed at him.
"If you and your father don't get the hell out of my house, I will shoot the both of you," she stated. Her voice is calm. She is calm. It is not a threat. It's a promise. She is simply stating a fact. Her heart hammers away as she held the gun doing her best to not shake in fear.
But then between raising the gun and them registering her threat, her heartbeat slow down. The closes in on them. It's just her and them. No matter what happens, she will get what she wants. Even if she has to spoil the white snow.
Over the next couple of months, until her issue with the Blacks is set to bed, she will keep coming back to this moment. Would she have pulled the trigger? A part of her thinks she would. The terrified part of her on the other hand was bluffing. Is the angry side of her strong enough to throw sense out of the window? That is an answer she will find in the near future.
"You don't have the guts to do it."
The fired shot at the ground that misses his left foot by an inch is her reply. "Try me." Looking up from the bullet wedged in the wooden floor, he finds her smirking.
"Come on son let's leave. She is not worth it. Once the will is read, she will be sorry," Billy told him as he rolled himself to the door. "Come on darling. Be a big boy and listen to daddy, maybe you'll get a gift from Santa for being a good boy. Although knowing you, you won't," she adds the last part as an afterthought.
He takes a step in her direction, "Go ahead, do it if you're a man," she mutters as she waves the gun around. "Jacob, don't do anything stupid." "You're not even worth it stupid cunt," Jacob spits out. "That wasn't the tune you were singing when you came in," she gloats. "You young lady will see," Billy says pointing at her. "You and I will," she replies rolling her eyes. Following behind them, she yells cheerfully when they are out of the door. "Have a safe trip and remember you want to watch the game, watch it on your damn TV."
She shuts the door behind them, locking it then looks around trying to make sense of what just happened.
In the kitchen, she uses the faucet of the kitchen sink to wash her face. She then fills a glass of water and gulps it in one go.
Bella takes a deep breath to calm her nerves, then set out to get the kids. Unlocking the door of the office, she cheerfully says, "knock, knock." She finds Peter trying to push the throw pillows off the couch, having somehow rolled out of the towels.
"How did you do that baby," she exclaims with exasperated wonder.
Picking him off the couch she places him on her hip and feels his forehead. "Let's get Adam," she tells him. "Dm," he parrots his iteration of his brother's name. "Yes, Adam," she repeats climbing the stairs.
Opening the door of Adam's room, she finds him waiting for her in front of the door. "I saw them leave in their car through the window," he mutters then hugs her. Still hugging her he raises his head to face her "I got scared. He kept banging on the door and said he will punish me if I don't open it, but I didn't listen to him. I knew you would get me." She runs her hand through his hair. "I will always come and get you no matter what happens because I love you, okay?" He nods at her. She gets teary-eyed. His complete trust in her despite the fact that she wasn't always the best mother is touching in the worst way.
Sniffing, she tells him, "Okay, let's get down the stairs so you and Peter can watch TV while I make dinner." "Mac and cheese?" He asks. "Let me think," she puts her finger on her shin pretending to think. He starts jumping up and down saying please. Catching on, Peter starts saying his version of please aka, peas.
Finally, she relents and says, "okay, okay now let's get down the stairs." Holding Adams's hand, she walks out of the room with him.
Keeping an eye on them from the kitchen, Bella dials Aro's number using the disposable phone she hides under the sink.
"Hello," he answers after two rings. "This is Bella, I need your help," she replies. "Anything dear," he replies. "I need your help figuring out my living situation." She goes on to tell him everything that happened with Jacob and Billy leaving no detail out.
"I can have one of my properties cleaned and ready for you and the kids to move in, in two days, but is that what you want?"
"I don't understand."
"Are you truly okay with them inheriting your dad? Do you want the men who just terrorized your children to get the only place your children have ever called home?" She thinks of that for a second.
"I don't care who gets it. But I don't want them to have the house."
"Okay, my dear I will do my best," as he replies, she hears a commotion on the other end of the phone.
"I have to go dear, but before that, I have one question for you, do you have any fish left from your father's last fishing trip?" He asks.
"Let me check."
"Yes. But what does that have to do with anything?" She asks. "Nothing," he replies then hangs up. She sees Carmen parking her rental and swiftly hides her phone under the sink.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
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