"Alright, we're live in thirty seconds. Everyone ready?"
"Ready."
"Ready."
"Whu- crap, I was just about to have a smoke!"
"Should've done that during the break. Roxanne, are you good?"
"Just getting my hair straight… alright, good."
"Okay, people, we're on in… ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five…"
Silence befell the studio as the last few numbers were counted silently.
Suddenly, bombastic music flooded the studio, as a loud voice said over a loudspeaker, "And now! Channel Three News, with reporter Roxanne Featherly!"
The lights suddenly blazed on, revealing a desk standing before a large blue screen emblazoned with the Channel Three symbol. Sitting at the desk, dressed in a neat grey dress and jacket, was a green-feathered duck with long blonde hair-feathers and a pleasant, neutral smile upon her beak.
"Good evening." She spoke to the camera in front of her. "Tonight's program is all about Duckberg's most wealthy. Scrooge McDuck sets sail for adventure once again! Glomgold Industries no longer a Glomgold business! And what's become of Mark Beaks? All this and more, on Channel Three News!"
The bombastic music resumed, and Roxanne let her posture relax for a moment. From behind the cameras, she heard her producer say, "Alright, that's good. Fifteen seconds for the intro."
She glanced in his direction irritably. "Can you remind me why we can't just play the intro sequence at the start, so we don't have to do this on-off crap every night?" She asked.
"And we're going back on in three… two…"
Roxanne rolled her eyes, then straightened her back as the cameras resumed rolling. "Our first story this evening concerns Duckburg's wealthiest citizen – Scrooge McDuck." She began to read the teleprompter in front of her.
Behind her, the screen faded out to reveal a picture of the old trillionaire, surrounded by his family. At the bottom of the screen was a caption that read, 'McDuck and family, taken after their victory over the Moonlander leader'.
"Love him or hate him, Mr McDuck has made a name for himself over the years as a successful venture capitalist stroke treasure hunter, with his expeditions funding many of Duckburg's amenities and business endeavours." Roxanne continued. "Four years ago, however, this flow of donations slowed to a trickle, as the family seemed to stop adventuring altogether for unknown reasons. At the time, Mr McDuck claimed that they were merely 'taking a break' from treasure hunting as the constant expeditions were 'putting strain on his family life'. It very much seemed like the family was prepared to settle down as the years went by with no word on whether they were going to start adventuring again – until now."
The screen behind her changed again, revealing a photo of a glorious gold and purple cloak, presented in a glass case. Roxane swivelled her chair toward a different camera.
"Pictured here is the Tyrian Cloak, an artifact that McDuck and family recovered from an ancient Phoenician temple about four weeks ago. With this, and several other recent donations to the Duckburg Museum of Antiquity, it seems as if the family has resumed their expeditions, finding treasure, fighting monsters, and solving mysteries. We reached out to the McDuck family for an interview on what had prompted this sudden change of heart, but as usual, they declined."
Roxanne turned back towards the original camera. "Public reactions have been mixed. Many citizens of Duckburg still remember the 'beanstalk incident' from six years ago, and there are concerns that McDuck's reckless thrill-seeking will once again bring havoc and disruption to Duckburg. Others worry that McDuck Enterprises will once again prioritise funding the billionaire's expeditions over funding the city. These concerns were raised in the mayor's press release earlier today."
The screen changed again, this time showing a video clip. In the centre of the clip was a large, fat pig in a dark suit and green tie, with frayed white hair, mutton chops, and a bald spot upon his head. His bushy grey eyebrows were narrowed at the dozen or so microphones arranged before him, and he looked generally frazzled and clueless. The caption at the bottom of the screen read, 'Jeremiah Hogwilde, Mayor of Duckburg'.
"Is it true that Mr McDuck is going to cut funding to the Water and Electric company?" Said the voice of an off-screen reporter.
"Mr McDuck has not informed me of any such plans…" Mayor Hogwilde replied.
"What is your opinion on Mr McDuck's recent expeditions and the possibility of resulting disruption to the city?" Another reporter asked.
"I have no-"
"Do you think the city will be able to get by without McDuck's funding?"
"I- of course, that's-"
"Are there any plans to keep the city operating alongside Mr McDuck's adventuring?"
"Alright, can we get something straight here?" Hogwilde snapped irritably. "Scrooge McDuck does not run this city. I do." He asserted, jamming a finger at himself.
There was a very long pause.
Then, from off-screen, all the reporters burst into uncontrollable laughter. Roxanne herself chuckled in amusement before clearing her throat and sitting straight again as the clip came to its end.
"Others are more optimistic, saying that McDuck's new ventures could give Duckburg a well-needed economic boost." Roxanne continued. "Still others are wary and wish to wait and see how it plays out. This reporter, for one, is eager to see what kind of exciting misadventures this mysterious family gets up to in the future!"
"…There are three components to phloem structures - the sieve plates, the sieve tube, and the companion cells. Each of these components work to facilitate the translocation of sugars and amino acids around the plant…"
Webby leaned forward on her lab desk, staring ahead blankly with her head resting on her hand. From the front of the classroom, Mr Baxter droned on in a flat monotone. The aged, tweed-suited white duck was writing down notes on the whiteboard as he talked. Around the classroom, Webby could see the rest of the class struggling to pay attention as well, with the people at the very back looking like they were about to fall asleep.
She tried to focus, she really did. But it was so aggressively dull, and she knew that she would get the exact same information from the textbook.
Looking around, she saw one of the boys in the row in front of her was ignoring the teacher entirely, instead focused on the open textbook in front of him. Deciding that he had the right idea, Webby reached forward for her own copy and started flipping through to the right page.
It was right as she found the right page that she heard, "Miss Vanderquack."
Webby looked up to see Mr Baxter glaring directly at her. Her face flushed as she felt every pair of eyes in the room turn to her.
"I have to request that you put the book away and pay attention to the lesson." Baxter told her sternly.
"…I'm just reading the textbook…" Webby tried to explain.
"The textbook is not the one giving the lesson. I am." Baxter replied coldly. "Pay attention, please."
So what? It's okay for him to do it, but it's not okay for me?
Webby bit back the retort as she glared back at the wizened old teacher, closing the book without breaking eye contact with him.
"…Good." Baxter nodded curtly before turning back around to the whiteboard. "Now, as I was saying, the sieve element cells are defined by their rigid cell walls, which help to facilitate-"
A loud snort suddenly erupted from the desk behind Webby, and she winced as Baxter's gaze slowly turned in her direction, though it thankfully was directed at the individual behind her.
"…Do you have something to share with the rest of the class, Dylan?" Baxter growled.
"Heh… no sir. Nothing at all." Said the obnoxious boy that Webby tried to pretend wasn't behind her.
The old teacher glared at everyone in the room. "…If I hear one more interruption, you're all staying behind." He said threateningly. "Do not test me."
Any quiet whispering immediately fell silent at the threat. Baxter let the warning sink in for a little longer before he slowly returned to his lecture.
Not even a minute later, just as Webby's eyes were starting to glaze over, a folded piece of paper flew over her shoulder and landed on her desk, and she blinked in surprise. Turning around, she immediately figured out who'd thrown it – a brown-feathered duck from the desk behind her, sporting a large chin, a gelled-over hairdo, and a red sports jersey. He smirked and winked at her, sending an unpleasant feeling crawling down her spine.
She turned around and tried to ignore him, focusing instead on the mercifully ignorant Mr Baxter. The morbid curiosity started to get to her though, and against her better judgement, she opened up the note while Mr Baxter was busy drawing a diagram of some kind, and read it.
Ive got something rigid I'd like to share with you.
Webby hated Biology.
The second Webby was out of class, she went to go and find Lena. She could always make Webby feel better after a bad day. A quick text conversation revealed that she was at the teacher's parking lot, and Webby immediately beelined towards it. She found her leaning against a wall on her phone, wearing a black hoodie over her blue singlet. She turned towards Webby as she approached, smiling at her.
"Hey, Pink." She said in that casual way that made Webby's heart flutter.
"Hey." Webby replied, hiding her nerves as usual. "How was last period?"
"Eh. Pretty dull." Lena replied casually as she typed out something on her phone. "Piano teacher called in sick today, so I was just doing scales by myself for an hour. You?"
Webby reached into her jacket pockets, fishing out the note that Dylan had thrown at her and handing it to her. Frowning, Lena put her phone away and took the note, unfolding it and reading the contents.
Lena stared at the note for a long time.
"…Huh." She said slowly. "…Is this the same guy as before? Dylan… whatever his name was?"
"Yeah." Webby sighed miserably.
"Why'd you keep the note?"
Webby leaned against the wall next to Lena as she replied. "I'm gonna show it to Granny. Hopefully, she can intimidate the principal into moving me to another Bio class… not that'll make any difference." She muttered bitterly. "Every year, it feels like I have deal with guys like that. And the worst thing is that I can't just punch them to make them stop, because then I'm the one who gets in trouble!"
"…I could pay him a visit." Lena murmured quietly, her eyes flashing an arcane blue as she glared at the piece of paper. "That'd make sure he doesn't bother you again."
"Aw… that's so sweet." Webby smiled at her fleetingly. "But… no. I don't want you getting into trouble for my sake."
"…Urgh." Lena grunted with disgust, handing the note back to her. "This is why I hate high school. If it's not crappy teachers or schoolyard politics, it's that shit."
"Tell me about it. I'd prefer Tabatha's name-calling over dealing with guys like Dylan."
"God, don't remind me of Tabatha." Lena shook her head. "That girl's a cow."
"I just don't understand why the boys and I still have to do this." Webby complained. "I mean, we're going on adventures again! Can't we just learn to explore better or something?"
"Oh yeah, you guys have been doing that, huh?" Lena said, eyebrow raised. "How's that been going?"
Webby immediately brightened up. "Oh, it's been amazing! Just last week, we went to Pompeii to search for a piece of this ancient magic ring that a Roman emperor stole from a Gaulish king!"
"Woah."
"I know! Turns out, it had been taken by fire giants that were living underneath Mount Vesuvius! And we had to go through their caves and fight them to recover the ring and stop an evil plot to cause the mountain to erupt!"
"Crazy." Lena replied with a smirk, well-used to Webby's vivid descriptions. "And Green's been holding up okay through it?"
"Louie? Yeah, he's been…" Webby smiled. "I mean… he's better. I don't know how else to put it. He's been smiling more, he's talking to us again, he's just… better. All of the boys are."
"That's great to hear." Lena replied, a genuine smile on her face now. "I think it's been good for you as well. I haven't seen you this happy for a while."
"Yeah… school's been hard… but it's okay now, because we're back!" Webby jumped off the wall and leapt onto one of the nearby cars in excitement. "McDuck and family, adventuring again like we never stopped!"
"Uh… Webby…"
"Jerks like Dylan, Tabatha, Mr Baxter… they can say whatever they want, because they don't matter! We've fought mummies, and super spies, and we're not gonna-!"
"Webbigail."
Webby spun around to her left, facing an older woman in a red blouse, a yellow-orange skirt, her grey headfeathers tied back into a bun.
"Please get off of my car." The woman said with a tired expression.
"Sorry Mrs Brookfeather." Webby squeaked.
She quickly climbed back down, face flushed red with embarrassment, and the two teenagers swiftly left the carpark. They made their way to the main gates of the school as the crowd of homegoing students began to disperse.
"…So." Lena said, stretching her arms behind her back. "I think I figured out a way to get back at Dylan."
Webby looked up at her hopefully. "Yeah?"
"Like, we can't really hurt him without getting in trouble with the school or his parents… but I do happen to know that he recently got a brand-new car, like, a pitch-black classic that his dad gave him. Apparently, he loves it so much that he got mad at one of his asshole jock friends just for touching it."
Lena traced a finger in the air in front of her, opening up a small, circular portal. She reached inside and pulled out a neon pink spray can, shaking it with an evil grin. "I think a couple sprays of this will get him to think twice about writing you any more notes. Wanna help out?"
Webby felt her heart melting in affection. This was why she loved Lena. It didn't matter what had made Webby upset, be it family drama, school problems or general unhappiness… she always wanted to help. She always knew what to do to make her happy.
She always made it better.
With a tender smile, Webby replied softly, "…Yeah."