The Saga of Richard and Camille

A Christmas Story; A Visit from ... Me?

Part 1 of 5

Chapter 1:
Confusion, thy name is Rick.

'Ohhhh, … that sound … it's so annoying. So monotonously annoying. … shhhhh … shhhhh … shhhhh … shhhhh … shhhhh … Where is it coming from? Why a … … I feel so fuzzy. … I normally awaken feeling crisp, clear and alert. Did I drink too much? … I never drink too much! Nonsense! My throat hurts. So raw … so. ... And my chest. … It feels like someone stomped on me. Am I injured? My thoughts are all a jumble. Not like me at all. Oh … good grief, I … I … can hear all kinds of beeps and chirps and mechanical sounds. … Think Richard … just think. You have one of the finest analytical minds on the planet … just think … there is always a logical, mechanism at work. Figure it out man. It's what you're good at. JUST DO IT! … or go back to sleep ... or … STOP … dreaming … you're really just dreaming. … Food? Yes! Maybe it was some of Catherine's seafood … a bad prawn maybe. I'll be right as rain in the morning. Yes … that's it! I'll be better in the morning. It will all be back to normal!

"I don't think so, Richard."

"No? What? Who said that? Who's here? Wait! … Who are you? How do you know my name? Where did you come from? This is my, my, … sanctum sanctorum. Get out! Get out this very minute. If you know who I am, then you know that I am Detective Inspector Richard Poole. So now! Who are you? Explain yourself, and it had best be good or, you'll find yourself on your way to the Honore gaol! And be quick about it, I'm in no mood for any tomfoolery! Do I make myself clear?"

"Indubitably, Richard. Now look at me Richard. Who do you see?"

"Well, … you do look vaguely familiar. But I can't seem to place my finger on … … so fuzzy … my head hurts. Did you accost me? Strike me? Why? Ohhhh. What the bloody hell is going on?"

"I'm you Richard."

"No! No! That's madness. No, just a bad dream. Just … a … bad … dream."

"Sorry old man but this is as real as it gets. This conversation will most likely be a bit confusing for you. So why don't you call me Rick. Think of me as your alter ego. Will that help old chap?"

"Will you stop addressing me like some long-lost mate?"

"But Richard, we have known each other since conception. We are the oldest of mates. Well, you, me and Ricky. and … of course Richie"

"Okay. Okay! Alright. 'Rick'! I can feel sensations, I can hear sounds, but all I can see is you and … WHITE! Since I can't make this dream stop, let's get it over with. … RICK." Richard's sarcasm laden utterance of the name brings a grin to 'Rick's' face.

"Ah hah! you can't be me, … you, you, imposter! You are smiling. Does it look like I'm smiling? Eh? Eh? Would any of me, us, they, them, oh drat, … would I smile in such a confounding situation? … Well? … WELL?"

"Oh Richard, here you are betwixt and between and you're still a grumpy, grouchy old Englishman. It's utterly amazing that you, … me ... we, have any friends at all. But we do, or at least, 'I' know we do."

Richard ponders what he thinks he has seen and heard. He looks about and still sees only white. But he still hears and feels. 'If this is a dream, then I shall approach it like a good copper. Time to collect data. Just the facts, no emotions, just the facts. Once solved, perhaps I can close the case and this lunacy as well. ...

"Alright Rick, let us proceed. I want the facts, the evidence that will help me solve this conundrum. What has happened to me? Where am I? Where is my 'team'?"

"Fair enough. Richard you are in the Saint Marie Hospital. You have been in a coma for nearly six weeks. Helen/Sasha stabbed you in the chest with an icepick. "

"I knew it! She was a fraud! I was right! Ha! I was right! The book, right? ... but ... but … sorry. Go on. … Rick." The name is now a whisper.

"Missed your ticker, old bean but the shock sent you into cardiac arrest. Blood clot, stroke, coma, and here we are."

"Well … … … You said, 'betwixt and between', … what does that exactly mean? And am I going to live, and will I be okay and will I be able to return to work and ... and ...an …. ... ?"

"Easy Richard, easy old man. I'm here to help you sort out the past, the present, and maybe even the future."

"Oh no! Not like that Dickens ghost story or that mawkish movie, 'It's a Wonderful Life"? Oh gag! I can't even have an original dream or hallucination. I am truly pathetic, Rick. And I'm talking to myself in the second, third, person? Good grief, when does 'Ricky' join us? Me, myself and I! I think I am adding a headache to my list of miseries. Oh, and 'Richie' can't forget him… this is becoming group therapy!"

"Hahahahaha! Have you ever had an optimistic thought, Richard? Do you have any idea how difficult it is to share a brain that dominates with doom and gloom? No, of course you don't. If you did, you'd have changed decades ago. Well, my friend we are going on a brief journey, not as dramatic as the story book or the cinema. We will explore you, me, us … and whether you have the strength, courage and desire to live. Just relax. It will all take place right here. Ready?"

"Do I have a choice, do I, Rick?" is Richard's sullen reply.

"We all have choices, Richard. I can't make you DO anything."

"Okay Rick, … let's go. The sooner I'm done with this the better."

End
Part 1 of 5