I looked at my younger version, looking at me with determination trying to prove me wrong. It doesn't matter what the boy does he will not be convinced. After all I had seen this same thing at least a million times .Each time thinking maybe this version of myself will succeed where I failed but it never happens. All of us end up on that hill of swords. "you are a fool. We both are. How could we save someone when we didn't know who to save.". The boy glared at me. "You should know by now. You have been absorbing my memories. You should know how we will end up. Yet you still want to be a hero of justice. You should stop. Justice doesn't care about salvation after all." Emiya Shirou charged at me trying to cut me with Kanshou which I easily blocked with Bakuya . Even though he is absorbing my experiences, it is impossible to absorb hundred thousand millennial of experience with in this short amount of time. In other words, he never stood a chance. "Despite knowing all this you still want to be a hero of justice?" . I let Kanshou slide off Bakuya and unbalanced the boy. Then I smashed my sword against the boy's swords breaking them and then kicked him away. The boy got up and charged at me again. "I don't want to be one, I will become one.". I blocked his strike again without even paying attention. "I suppose that is the only answer you will give me." I applied force to my swords and broke the boy's swords again but this time I made sure to follow up with several strikes. He barely projected two more swords and put up a hasty defence but it wasn't enough. Two mortal wounds appeared the boy's side. Due to the force the last strike the boy flew away. Knowing the end was finally near my voice returned to calm. "I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. This is over after all. If you can't live without them. Then drown in your ideals and die". The boy laid unresponsive and his swords turned into prana. Yes, finally it's done. I am free. I can finally die in peace. Then a memory slammed into me like a truck : "Are you my master?". Golden light came out from the body in front of me stiching the boys wounds shut with miniature swords. Avalon, of course, why did I forget about it? The boy got up, expression still vacant. "I am the bone of my sword." ,the boy chanted and projected Kanshou and Bakuya again. Then he screamed and charged,"I can't lose. Not to you. I refuse to lose against myself." . Something is off. Why did those words sound so familiar? He kept charging at me. The closer he got the more flashbacks I kept getting. Rin tutoring me. Sakura waking me up when I was home from clocktower. Why are these memories appearing? "I will defeat you. Even if you are correct, you are not right. I will defeat the part of me that is you." CLANNGG! Our swords clashed again and this time I lost the exchange. My swords broke. But I didn't relitate. Maybe he can do it. He isn't wrong. We only wanted to be happy. Maybe he won't repeat my mistakes. Maybe he will conclude this beautiful dream without becoming me. I felt an indecipherable emotion. What is it? Ah, this is envy. I envy his ability to shine brightly like this. He is giving me hope again to try. Yet I feel like I have already seen this. Then I noticed a tuft of white hair on his head and slight graying in his I remembered everything. The summoning of saber, fight against berserker , fight against caster and Kuzuki and finally fight against archer(myself).Why did I think that the archer in my grail war was Ajax? How…? Of course Alaya. What a clever trick. My mind no longer hopeful or clouded. I brought kanshou down and everything became black.
"You commited a grave crime." What? What is happening?
"You will be punished. Enjoy your last job counter guardian Emiya. Then disappear as you wanted to."
I lost control of my body. Similar to when Alaya takes control of my body. What did she say my last job? Then I will be free? But she said I will be punished. That was my last thought before being summoned to wherever this last mission is.
…. Where I am? This is…!
My body moved without my command. A father dead, an older sister dead, a junior dead, a younger(older) sister dead, a king, a mentor
Dead and finally like this every person I came to care about more than just a person to be saved died by my hand. No matter how much I begged it didn't stop. Why does my existence only hurts? I finally understand. I shouldn't have existed in the first place. Kiritsugu should have left me in the fire to die. Then after everyone was dead it finally stopped and I returned to the void my soul slowly disappearing.
"Paradox known as Emiya Shirou has been erased"
It's fine. I will die like this. No one else will suffer my presense. I will slowly disappear. Emiya Shirou will be erased from the throne and the root.
!
Suddenly I felt something pulling my soul.
"Well I know you want to die, disappear and all that nonsense but I can't let that happen. "
NOOO! JUST LET ME DIE!
"Stop resisting. That proud disciple of mine actually begged me to save you. This is also the first time she begged for something. Enjoy your next life Emiya Shirou. Do try to entertain me."