A/N: I've been a FF7 fan ever since I was young. Because of the remakes, I wanted to write this. Things are changed such as timelines and ages for raunchy reasons. Yazoo, Kadaj and Loz are an example. The story has vulgarity, raunchy (downright repugnance) writing, provocative, guyXguy (yaoi) and explicitness. Warnings will be posted. If you like the story, awesome. If not, I guess you're just not that awesome then… HA JK! Please enjoy it. Chapters will be updated mainly on weekends when I am off work.

ENJOY MY FELLOW FANTASY LOVERS!

…oooOOO…CHAPTER ONE…OOOooo…
5 Years Ago, Pt.1

The night is dark and melancholy with many despondent thoughts taunting Cloud Strife's head. Thoughts of pure anguish and regret with the unwanted feeling of neverending torment to his body. Dangling on with nothing and feelings with meaningless emotions—he's nearly accepting the drift into a world of utter chaos and indefinite darkness. People walk past him as he lies on the ground, on the verge of taking his last breath as the moonlight beams upon him—revealing his hand clenched over his stomach. Blood runs black without any light, forming a puddle around him of absolute fear. Fear of what?

Am I dying…?

Cloud is too weak to cough up the blood filling in the back of his throat. The nonstop excruciating pain of his skin tearing as he attempts to move proves to be too great. It feels like daggers…

As he reminisces of his life, he starts fading into something worse than death. A decaying abomination who hears the jovial laughter of Tifa beside him. flashbacks flood his mind as he strokes his thumb over the thick blood around his abdomen. With everything happening so suddenly, with his eyes conjuring up Tifa, he weakly smiles. The corners of his lips quiver when darkness overtakes the thought with motivation. If only he had that kind of motivation. All that he thinks about now is how his life will end all because of his recklessness. Cloud can't even fathom what happened and led to his demise. There was no face. No warning. Nothing. Not a single sign pointing to his downfall.

"T-Tifa," he stammers, almost brutalizing the attempt of speaking her name with his dying breath.

The pain is severe and unforgivable when he tries moving his head to the side. Blood trickles down his forehead where blood caused his blond hair to matt against his skin. The obvious signs of being struck in the head is seen. By what? There's no recollection. It all happened so fast. As if he was falling into a dark abyss in a very slow manner yet everything hits him all at once. There's nothing. Not a damn thing. The pain becomes too much to the point that his eyes begin to feel heavy. They flutter as he fights desperately to keep them open. His body feels as if it's getting lighter. There's no question about it. He's dying.

I'm fucking dying…

The people walk past because of not noticing him or they just choose to not acknowledge a dying man. To die alone in misery and torment is a fucked up a way to go. Well—for him. His body starts giving out. Cloud can't concentrate anymore on his thoughts or the will to live. He doesn't even have the strength to call out to someone as his body moves forward. About to give out, his eyes slowly start closing as footsteps approach him. The night is full of voices chattering when two leather boots stop in front of him. Just then, he feels like falling into a pit of endless torture when a gun falls to the ground that slipped out of his left hand. Who know that being on the verge of death would make someone unaware that they were gripping a weapon the entire time? Cloud couldn't take it no more. With Tifa being the last to appear in his thoughts before accepting his demise, he falls to the side, finally giving up.

…2 Days Later…

Somewhere in a room, Cloud sleeps peacefully. The SOLDIER is sprawled out in a bed under velvet sheets. The comfort is too enjoying for him to realize his fuckups. Rain streaks down the window as the wind howls. Rain plummets against the house without a destination. The floorboards creak from the change of the weather. Everything starts to become cold, causing the SOLDIER to shiver as his eyes start to flutter open. Blond hair that is always spiky is chaotic. It takes him seconds to realize that the room he is in has intricate designs and smells like sweat and mustiness. For a moment, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him since he thought himself to be awaking in a cold damp cellar. When coming to the realization that he fucked up, his eyes shoot wide open. His upper body springs upwards hastily, causing him to slam his hand on his head in agonizing pain.

"Why do I feel like I've been hit by a fucking bus!" he groans dramatically while the sheets fall past his torso, revealing that he is indeed naked in the bed.

Cloud groans annoyingly as he places his weary head into his hands. The surroundings are not familiar to him. As he wallows in his own self-hatred of himself, wrapping his body around the thought of disdain in himself, he places his hand beside him on the soft bed. His eyes immediately become aware of the soft feeling of what feels like to be velvet strands brushing against his fingertips. The feeling is satisfying yet mortifying. His body is frozen in time. The only part of his body that moves is his head that tilts down to the side. His wondering bright blue eyes move down to follow the long trail of silver hair that illuminates under the moonlight. The rain starts streaking through the silver hair from the window from how radiant it appears to be. Coming to the realization that it's the first-class SOLDIER, Sephiroth, Cloud about falls out of the bed when moving away. The SOLDIER is fully dressed. It's now apparent that Cloud is completely naked next to a grown man.

SEPHIROTH! WHAT THE FUCK!

With the shock taking its toll on Cloud, his reactions are simple straightforward, "Hey!"

The sudden raise of his voice makes it reverberate in the dark room. The first class SOLDIER doesn't budge. Cloud pokes the SOLDIER with his finger, still in shock. The bewilderment is intense since he has no idea how he is in bed with Sephiroth. A SOLDIER whom he seldom sees. Hell, he can't even remember the last time he conversed with the famed hero. The man is a lot bigger up close in person. The length of Sephiroth's body takes up the entire length of the bed. As unbelievable as that sounds, Cloud feels like a twig compared to him. What's even more memorizing is to realize just how long and flowing his hair is. His hair rests over his body and hangs off the bed a few feet. His eyes widen with his body jerking back from shock when hearing a deep resonating voice speak with grogginess.

"You're awake. It's about time."

What the hell is happening…?

"Sephiroth?", Cloud loses his choice of words and can't seem to think clearly, "yes?"

Sephiroth makes him lose his concentration without moving his body. Cloud looks away, deciding to be rational since it's Sephiroth. There must be an explanation as to why he is naked in an unknown bed with a fully clothed SOLDIER. The hero. Sephiroth. He closes his eyes momentarily, takes in a deep breath, relaxing himself before speaking in a collected way, "please tell that you have an explanation as to why I am naked next to you?"

Cloud's body begins to shift as the SOLDIER finally starts moving on the bed. Cloud can't bear the thought of looking at the SOLDIER when he sits himself up. The feeling of intimidation settles around him. Again, he feels like a puny ant compared to him. He's toned but slender. There's nothing intriguing about his shape. Nothing like the biceps and stout thighs that the SOLDIER beside him has.

God… The women he must bed is insane…

"It's a long story," Sephiroth speaks quietly.

Cloud starts to get lost in his deep captivating voice as the SOLDIER plops down on the bed again. His white hair falls all over him like a blanket of neverending cotton candy.

It takes Cloud a few moments to respond rationally to that, "this is fucking weird. I'm out."

Cloud swings his legs over the bed and stands up. As soon as he stood up, he falls forward onto the hardwood floor. A loud thud rattles the picture frames on the walls. The dresser rattle as well with glass clinking together. The realization of losing feeling in his legs hits him hard when he tries standing up. The shock of his hands hitting the floor to catch himself causes him to grunt painfully with widened eyes. He feels like a humiliated circus freak as he tries to move forward. The numbness in his legs prevent him from going any further.

"What's wrong with me?" Cloud asks suddenly with a sharp determined voice.

"Relax. Your legs are asleep probably. You've been passed out for over fourteen hours."

What…?

Cloud curls his fingers into the hardwood floor, not caring about the agonizing pain of his nails scraping the wood. As he gets the feeling in his legs back, the prickliness sets in uncomfortably. Once he stands up with no more shame of being completely nude in front of the first-class SOLDIER, he turns around to see his back towards him. There are so many questions he has for him. So many unanswered questions.

"What happened?" he asks in a soft tone.

By how Sephiroth forces himself to roll off the bed, he clearly wanted to keep sleeping. Watching him rise to his feet makes him feel mind blown. Sephiroth is tall and fills the room with his overwhelming presence. It's hard to adjust to the fact that he is standing nakedly in front of a SOLDIER whom he barely sees. Hell, Cloud can't even remember their last interaction together. Watching the SOLDIER walk around the bed makes him feel small to the world. Sephiroth stops a foot in front of him. Cloud looks up as he towers over him. Maybe he might start freefalling. The sight of Sephiroth's presence is extraordinary. How the hero, a first-class SOLDIER, popular and always too busy to interact with the outside world is standing in front of him. Cloud's eyes fall upon his silver hair that falls over his shoulders. He wears a v-cut black shirt, exposing his bare chest that's broad. Everything about Sephiroth is what he admires. Seeing his role model before him is magnificent, not considering the circumstances.

"You're stronger than you look. Did you know that?"

Just tell me what the fuck is going on…?

"Where are my clothes?", Cloud asks while moving away from, tolerating the painful stabbing coming from his feet from being asleep when he walks around the room. The SOLDIER smoothly waves his hand to the wooden rocking chair where a set of neatly folded clothes sit. Cloud starts to forget about his humiliation as he walks to the chair to start getting dressed. As he hops awkwardly to pull up his jeans, he feels a big spot on the front to be stiff and whitish. When the realization hits him like a brick, he looks up in front of him, about to become a raging lunatic.

"I just woke up. If you remember what happened, please don't scream. I am very groggy," Sephiroth says in a seductive yet weary voice.

Cloud collects himself as he turns around shirtless while leaving his jeans unzipped and unbuttoned, revealing his blond pubic hair and the sight of his shaft being visible still. "Don't tell me that you're—" Sephiroth cuts him off while walking over to him, "please don't freak out. I was shocked at first as well," his voice is somewhat relaxing in a way that it makes Cloud sane for a few more moments.

His eyes fall upon Sephiroth's hand that reaches into his pocket to his pants to pull out a phone. When he unlocks it and begins reading a message, it is now apparent that Cloud and Sephiroth together made a fucked-up mistake and are both in a predicament.

"It would be nice to finally meet you. I still feel sexually flustered since I do not know my own orientation. We should meet up. You really make me feel like I can be open with you. Meeting you online was one of the best things to ever happen to me. I don't know you in person, but I feel like you do understand me."

Cloud tilts his head back while sighing, his eyes closing softly. His tongue moves over his bottom lip with his throat feeling dry. He could really use a tall glass of water right about now. "I did not hold back and thought I tore you in half. I thought I killed you," Cloud listens to his words when finally realizing why he is in so much pain.

"You're Mr. Sadness," Sephiroth speaks quietly in that resonating voice, sending chills down Cloud's spine.

"You're gay?" is all Cloud asks, bluntly in all honesty.

Sephiroth puts his phone away, also being blunt and nonchalant with his reply, "yea. When I realized it was you, I chose to stick around. You got obliterated before we fucked. Do you have any recollection of two days ago?"

This is fucked up…

"I think," Cloud begins to speak but pauses when noticing how awkward the situation is becoming, "I should leave and never have to see your face again."

He leaves Sephiroth in the darkness as he scatters around the room to collect his things. What traumatizes Cloud most is that the sex must've been belligerent and brutal if he was out cold. The alcohol probably didn't help either. Their situation proves to be intense and awkward for both of them while Cloud goes for the door. As he opens it for the light to shine through, he stops in his tracks when hearing disbelieving words come out of his idol's mouth.

"Just so you know, I did listen. We will never speak of this ever. Words meant more than the hours of fucking. I hope to never see your face again too, Cloud."

Cloud doesn't turn around to face him, instead, he walks out of the room, wishing to never hear about what was said or done in detail.

There's so much going on right now that he is still trying to process what the fuck just happened. The motel he is in is lit dimly. The person behind the desk doesn't greet or acknowledge him. Walking outside to feel the fresh breeze and the cooling of the rain is relieving. Going back home is going to be a walk since he has no clue where he is at.

Maybe I should have asked where I am when walking out of that ghastly motel…

It would have been smart to check the time before he left the motel. It's a lonely night. It almost makes him sort of melancholic. Everything about his life seems melancholic lately. The dwindling relationship between him and Tifa isn't moving anywhere. Perhaps because Cloud is trying to discover his own orientation. It's flabbergasting to know that he fucked for hours with the first-class SOLDIER people deem a hero. His role model. The one person who is going to make him be the SOLDIER he will be in the future. Well—hopefully. In time, Cloud eventually gives up from feeling groggy himself and weak. His ass hurts like hell, his lips are chapped and his throat is dry as a motherfucker. He plops down on a cold metal tarnished bench and stares up at the plate above him.

Sometimes… Just sometimes… I wonder if that plate would ever fall one day…

People run past him. They do not frighten him. Lately, his head has been clouded with questions and wonder about himself. His friends notice his discomfort with the world recently. Somehow, he feels slightly off and that he needs to search for a big part of him that hasn't been discovered yet. The chill that lingers with the breeze is relieving. He starts to shove his hands into his pockets to his jeans to enjoy the oddly satisfying tranquility of Midgar City. It has been a year since he moved to the city from Nibelheim. It was all because of Tifa. That's until he started noticing that he can't control his eyes from admiring the men around him. the curiosity. Now—it's humiliating to learn that the first ever man he fucked and possibly kissed was the hero.

"Ugh," is all that escapes through his slightly departed chapped lips.

The night is so relaxing and serene that he just now realizes that his fingertips stroke what seems to be crumbled up paper in his right pocket. His electric bright blue eyes flutter open, fighting to stay focused as he pulls out the paper to observe it. The grogginess they display is genuine as he reads a phone number. With curiousness, he pulls out his flip-phone and dials the number. At this point, he's slouching on the bench while digging the heel of his boots into the muddy ground.

"Hello?"

Cloud immediately shuts his phone when hearing a familiar deep resonating voice speaking wearily over the line. Instantly, he's wide awake and snaps his head down to the phone—staring at it in disbelief. The phone starts jingling. He instantly flips it open to see the same number calling him back. The reflection from the bright phone screen and number shows through his weary eyes as he looks at it in a catatonic state for what seems indefinitely.

"Hello?" he quietly speaks after finally answering the call.

"When did I give you my number?"

Cloud thinks for a moment and realizes that the answer is obvious, "I guess we both got fucked up."

It's quiet on the other line for a few moments before Sephiroth speaks in a rather befuddled tone, "I guess so?"

Cloud becomes a bit tense. It shows when he begins to twirl his messy strands of hair around his pointer finger, "did you not drink?"

"I don't consume alcohol," Sephiroth responds in a normal tone.

"Ooh. You're one of those guys," Cloud muffles through his lips before his eyes fall upon his heel that's three inches into the mud already.

"What are you doing? Why did call me?"

"I don't know," Cloud bluntly mutters, getting rather annoyed.

"Ooh," there's a pause from Sephiroth who starts to briefly chuckle before returning to the conversation, "so—that's what you were doing on my phone. Cloud, I really wish you didn't blackout."

Why would he say that…?

"Did I make an ass of myself?" he asks, becoming curious to know how the fuck they even hooked up.

Cloud breathes in then out when Sephiroth hits him a with a question that doesn't seem so dangerous or intimidating, "do you want to come back? That bench looks really uncomfortable."

Cloud turns his head back and looks up to realize he didn't walk far from the motel. On the second floor, he sees Sephiroth sitting on the windowsill with the window open. His amazingly long silver hair falls outside the window, traveling with the refreshing breeze. They both keep their phones pressed up against their ears as they both lock eyes with each other. Then—just then, Cloud can feel his heart racing excruciatingly against his chest. As if it's about to explode from the belligerent pulsing it does to his chest.

…oooOOOooo…

Cloud sits at the small round table in the wee kitchen inside Sephiroth's motel room. They sit across each other with cheap coffee and the smell of cigarette smoke that lingers inside the carpets and wooden walls. The two men stare at each other. It's obvious that Cloud finds Sephiroth to be breathtakingly beautiful and that he is a fucking faggot. They are both faggots. Cloud feels repulsed by himself. An abomination. As his eyes become hypnotized by the SOLDIER's ravishing and sexy smug of a smile he holds on his face, a quick flashback comes and goes instantly. Sephiroth's face is close to his. He smiles tenderly. Then just like that… He's on dating sites…?

"Are you admiring me?" Sephiroth speaks in a deep reverbing voice, seductive and full of coy.

Is this him flirting…? Is Sephiroth really like this…?

"I'm just an eighteen-year-old who is ordinary," Cloud blandly mutters, finding it hard that a man like Sephiroth is wasting time with a toned twigged-waist guy such as himself.

Intimidation sets in when Sephiroth leans his head forward with a broad grin widening on his face in an eerie way. The disconcerting feeling of him about to drop his jaw a foot wide with torn flesh to devour him is amusing yet spinechilling. Sephiroth tilts his head oddly to the side, not giving away his grin that eventually causes Cloud to turn away his face to hide the nervous chuckle and a faint smile full of anguish and emptiness.

"Do you not have any idea of how much I enjoyed being with you? Or maybe it was the alcohol taking over that I liked. You are the quite opposite right now. Cloud," Sephiroth pauses to rise from his chair and pushes it over to Cloud who starts moving awkwardly in his seat, "I am not going to lie," again, he pauses, sitting down right beside him while acting nonchalant, "you are very likable and curious."

Just get up… Walk away… Am I dreaming… Sephiroth… The famous first-class SOLDIER… I must be dreaming…

"It started with a walk two nights ago. You were on the verge of death. I healed you. You were jumped in an alleyway. We were going to meet finally. It took a bit of time, but I saved you. We talked for hours. We ended up getting to know each other. You started getting obliterated then it happened," Sephiroth stops speaking, looking calmer now.

Cloud sits quietly, afraid to move out of fear that the famous SOLDIER possibly likes him. A flashback instantly crosses his mind. A flashback that confuses him. It's a flashback of him staring at Sephiroth while he cries. Cloud can't take anymore and reacts to the flashback by jerking his chair away from the SOLDIER instantly.

"You were crying?" he asks bewildering, not even thinking about the reaction of the straightforward question.

Sephiroth's lips curve up into a faint noticeable smile before is disappears like snow dissolving into the warm skin. "Out of everything, that's the only thing you remember?" his voice seems agitated in a way.

"Can I tell you something?" Cloud whispers while his eyes fall upon Sephiroth's fingers that are curled up into the wooden table. His eyes move back up to his when noticing that he is giving him his full attention invitingly. It's making him feel—sexually flustered. "I'm just a dweeb who came to Midgar to pursue a woman and to join SOLDIER."

"Ahh. About that, you're still in the process of the tryouts. How is that going?" it doesn't click with Cloud that somehow, Sephiroth managed to ignore Tifa and swiftly steps on her without a care in the world.

"I—I don't," breathe… Cloud… Breathe… "I don't know."

Sephiroth moves his head close to Cloud, causing him to move his body back awkwardly, "and why is it that you do not know?"

You're full of wonder about me… Huh…? What did I do for you to be like this with me…? Do I even want to know…?

There's only so much of the chair left before he scoots himself off to the floor from how close Sephiroth gets him. Cloud starts to become a nerve-racking mess as he starts to fidget with his hands. Having enough, he swiftly without effort moves off the chair and takes a few steps back from the table when Sephiroth's head is literally inches away from his face.

"I don't know what's going on, but I am baffled by how you are acting like this towards me. I think I should head back to Sector Seven. My friends are probably worried right now and wondering where the fuck I am."

Excuses… They are just excuses… Do I really want his lips on mine…? Am I truly gay…? What is happening to me…?

"You do not realize how considerate and tender you are. It saddens me that you've gotten too drunk that you can't recall anything," Sephiroth admits with dismay, avoiding eye contact momentarily.

"I don't know if I will regret asking you this, but how would you describe us hanging together with just one word," he's quick to ask that, of course he would be.

Cloud waits impatiently for his reply. When he gets his reply, the teenager automatically turns around and makes a bold line for the door.

"Succulent."

Sephiroth does not lie. Never.

Cloud is quick to apologize while opening the door, "sorry, Uuh, by," and with that, he steps outside into the hallway as the door clicks shut behind him.

Succulent… Ooh GAWD!

Rain finds its way through the plate above from being under construction, only hitting parts of the motel. He wishes there were no plates if he's being honest with himself. The window gets splattered with rain with the lights flickering on and off in the hallway. Apparently, the motel has an infamous reputation of losing light sources. As he starts walking down the hallway to descend the steps, his body stops dead in his tracks as he raises his head slightly. There's no regret or miscommunication. He is completely sane and together. That is when Cloud realized that he is acting like a fool.

Don't do it…

It takes everything inside him to start descending the steps. The same person behind the counter watches as he walks to the door once again. as he opens the door, the fresh scent of rain and the chilling breeze meets him. He's not even halfway out of the motel when he finds himself being unable to control his body when turning his head around. The man behind the desk stares at him questioningly as he steps back inside the building. The man doesn't break eye contact with Cloud when he walks back up the steps. The hallway is dark and gloomy. The depression suffocates him with the neverending darkness latching itself onto his barren soul. Withered and on the verge of disappearing forever, he's a miserable mess. There's not a greater feeling to him than opening Sephiroth's door to see the SOLDIER about to storm out of the room. Just when he thought his life couldn't get any shittier, Cloud decides to block out all the pessimistic thoughts inside his wailing head when embracing the SOLDIER. The embrace is full of power and mental suffering that he honestly feels like a scoundrel to the world.

"You said that you listened. Right? Listened to what?"

Cloud is honestly on the verge of crying since he is embracing his idol. He has no recollection of them fucking, but knowing there was penetration between them, it makes him feel like the luckiest person on the planet. Feeling a comfort hand resting on his head, the fingers getting tangled through his messy strands, he starts getting lost in his own mind of pure angst. Embracing Sephiroth is like embracing a steel beam. The man feels like he is made of steel with firmness. Cloud's head rests against his chest, taking in the comforting musty scent of his warm smooth skin. His boots drag over the floor as the SOLDIER pulls him back inside for the last time. Shockingly, Cloud's body is thrown onto the bed he awoke in earlier. Confusion fills Cloud's eyes instantly as he looks up at the poorly patched ceiling above him.

"Just sleep here for the night. You're like a little kid. You do not know when to stay inside or outside," Sephiroth taunts him amusingly while crashing in the bed next to him.

"I could sleep for a thousand years," Cloud speaks softly, not hiding his faint smile dimly lit by the lights outside the motel window.

Sephiroth closes his eyes and lays on his back with his hair falling around them both. Cloud stares at him as if he's staring at the love of his life. Butterflies form in his stomach with astonishment to hear the SOLDIER quietly snoring already.

No way. He's faking it…

"Sephiroth?"

Is he…?

There's no response. Cloud shifts his body on his left side to face Sephiroth who seems to be sleeping still. His eye contact with the alluring man doesn't break until he feels a hand press into his face. Cloud's eyes widen from absolute shock when Sephiroth shoves Cloud a foot away from him.

"Go to sleep," he amusingly speaks up then shifts on his side as well, showing his back to Cloud. Little does the insanely attractive skyscraper know that Cloud doesn't feed into his bullshit. Just like that, he shifts his body so that his back too faces the SOLDIER. The two men lay in silence. Neither of them are sleeping. both of their eyes remain open halfway decently with their breathing controlled and quiet.

"You know," Cloud starts, becoming rather despondent suddenly, "I bet you made me forget about my troubles. Right? Please say yes."

Silence follows the question until Sephiroth's eyes lower to the windowsill feet ahead of him. They both seem relaxed yet tense at the same time.

"Yes. For a moment that is," he responds finally.

"Why were you crying?" Cloud asks immediately.

There's a long pause between them both before Sephiroth closes his eyes finally, "I am human too."

Yes… You are…

"Is it better that I don't have hardly any memories of our time together?"

Cloud just keeps asking questions without thinking. With Sephiroth's response, he decides it was his last and to let the room settle in silence between them both.

"Yes. The odds of us meeting again face to face is unlikely. It's for the best. Cloud—goodnight."

Cloud sighs quietly, deciding to let the SOLDIER sleep in peace. For a moment, he thought that something more was going to happen.

Goodnight… Sephiroth…