Mrs. J.K., A fan kept nagging and posting ideas to me… Yes, I have some… alright just a few. I took his idea and gave it a spin… for free of course, no one sane would throw money at me.

AN: This is something Irbrenneke asked me to try. I am not following all the suggestions, if I did he could write the stuff himself… maybe earn a dime or two.

1. Looped?

1996, Department of Mysteries, I stood in front of the veil of death and just watched Sirius fall through. It made me feel like an idiot, all the effort I made to follow Canon, tweaking here and there, planning to make my move this summer to go after the Horcruxes.

And he still fell through that arc. My plan was to expose Voldemort in the ministry, so I could yell I TOLD YOU SOOOO! I took one of the ten time turners I nicked from the Time Room and planned to go back a few hours, when I was almost done with the first turn, someone banished me through the veil… the last thing on my mind was SHIIIITTTT!

Xxxxx

Can you believe I woke up in that fucking cupboard? I looked around me, everything was back from where I started. I remember it well, Truck-San Isekaid me, yes, Isekaid as the most isekaid person in written history: Harry Fucking Potter!

Oh, all the plans I made to have as much fun as possible, I am ten years now, I just had my birthday beating, Vernon was a bit too enthusiastic, hence the Isekai. A year I spend learning wandless magic, you know in a lot of fan fiction Harry could easily learn it.

Well, it took me until Voldemort crawled out of his kettle. I wandlessly summoned the Tri-wizard cup and ported back to school. A good thing Cedric was not there.

Every year was a narrow miss, Quirrel got it at the mirror alright, but I could not receive the stone, I guess I was too greedy for it.

Second year… I took chickens instead of roosters down there, those bloody elves thought it was just for a pick-inc… That shade of Voldemort almost died from laughter, I stabbed him anyway.

Third year? Those Dementors did a number on me alright, every time they came close I became catatonic. You guessed it right, I fell off that fucking broom during the match against the Huffy puffs. Bloody Dumbledore was too late with his charm, and I spent two weeks in the hospital wing.

Sirius? Of course, I had to let it play out, so the dog dragged Ron away, all the drama in the shack, wolfy changed and almost took a bite out of me. Anyway, I followed Canon because Voldy had to resurrect the right way.

Did you know it is a bitch to chase more than a hundred Dementors away? I do now, almost got my first kiss there, I had nightmares for weeks.

Behold the Quidditch world cup! I placed a bet of ten thousand Galleons for Ireland to win and fucking Krum to catch the snitch at the goblins. Can you believe those fucking Irishmen threw the game? Those chasers slowed down each time they came close to a hundred and fifty points difference. So Bulgaria won, and I could kiss my galleons goodbye. I bet those Goblins calculated the amount if I should win the bet, and interfered.

I did damage control at the Tri-Wizard Cup, by stating loudly I don't want to enter that dead game. Nobody believed me when my name came out and told me I said that on purpose. In the end, even Hermoine had a badge pinned on her shirt, ah, good times, the naffers even banned me from my dorm, not that it mattered, the RoR provided.

The egg from that Dragon was easy, Fan Fiction provided thousands of ways to get it, so I did.

The dance? I just refused to go, it was not in the rules to attend, and I could not find a date, those naffers still didn't believe me.

The second task in the lake, I bribed the mermaids to bring my hostage and Fleur's, it was Gabrielle and Neville, the only one that did not have an I hate Potter badge. I won that task, it was not forbidden to bribe the mermaids. I just made my feet wet and made some noise for them to find me. It was done in ten minutes sharp. And everyone still called me a cheater. I was Gabrielle's favorite person though.

The third task, I summoned my broom and flew above the hedges, a win in less than two minutes. I did expose Crouch Junior though, that gave me some credit back.

Yes, yes, the rest is just like in Canon, horrible Umbitch all year, I saved Mr. Weasley at Christmas, flew on thestrals to London, did the song and dance in the ministry, and still could not save my dog father.

Well, I am back… … The one thing I won't do is follow the fucking Canon! Who am I you ask? Don't mind my past, I am just a dumb ass that got Isekaid by Truck San.

Xxxxx

First I have to get out of here, this place is heavily guarded, I tried to escape several times, I think Dumbles even imperio'd me to stay put because the last months before my eleventh birthday are a haze.

My wandless magic still works but is weak, I am skinny, hungry, and mostly angry at myself. The door opened with an alomohora, silently I got to the front door, it is in the middle of the night, with some extra cloth packed, I left the house.

At the park, in a secluded spot I called: "Kreacher! Elf of House Black come here please!" moments later Kreacher popped in. he looked at me and asked: "Why is filthy half-blood calling Kreacher from the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Black? Why must Kreacher obey filthy half-blood?"

I shrugged: "Because I am the Heir of Master Sirius. Now, can you bring me to your home?"

Kreacher looked offended: "Why don't filthy half-blood go to his own home?"

Huh? I have a home? They told me it burned down and the ministry confiscated the cottage. "How do you know I have a home? Isn't it burned down?"

Kreacher answered: "Filthy half-blood has a home with many elves, Tapsy be my sister, she be the head elf at Potter Manor."

Surprised, I asked: "Ah I have elves? Why didn't they show themselves? Tapsy? Come here please!" Not a damn elf came. Angry at that tosser I said: "I think Tapsy is death Kreacher, or are you just joking around?"

Surprised, Kreacher snapped his fingers and an old elf appeared, she looked at me and grabbed her chest: "Master Harry! There be bad spells on you to drive Potter elves away!" and she popped back home.

"Son of a bitch! Kreacher! Can you remove those blocks? Or where do I have to go to get rid of them? Answer me, I am still Heir Black, if for nothing but to help your sister."

Kreacher studied me and said: "There be a lot of nasty spells on filthy half-blood, Kreacher can not remove them all, nasty spell to remove elf block, Kreacher can not do. There is a book in Black Library that has the spell."

It seems the bugger wants to help his sister out, meh, it never hurts to ask: "Bring me to the library Kreacher, I will do the spell myself, when I am done I'll move to Potter Manor, and you can ask a favor from me."

That bugger is looking suspicious at me! I even asked it nicely. After a minute of observing me, he took my hand and popped me to Grimmauld place 12. The wards accepted me as a Black although the house itself is hostile. Kreacher led me to the library and showed me two books, the first: Curses Most Evil, the second: Most Potent Rituals.

I found the spell to unblock house elves, but it required an adult to cast with a matured core. The ritual book provided a cleansing ritual, it transferred to a human sacrif… WTF? It even had to be a wizard FFS! Although this ritual removes everything, like the page said: clean as a newborn baby, it even removes hereditary family curses.

I guess I have to sacrifice a rat. I never liked that bastard anyway, he always slipped in the bathroom when Ginny was taking a bath. "Kreacher? Do you know where the Weasley home is located?"

Kreacher nodded: "Nasty Bitch didn't want brother, no sir, Nasty Bitch gave him away. Kreacher knows where Nasty Bitch lives." It seems he doesn't like Howling Molly.

"Kreacher, in the Weasley house lives a rat with the third eldest son. He is an animagus, the one that betrayed my parents and Sirius, the current Lord Black. This ritual needs a human sacrifice, an enemy is best. That rat is an enemy of House Black, can you get him here for me? Stunned preferably. It will upset that Nasty Bitch. But first, is there a ritual chamber in this house?"

Maybe that last bitch comment motivated him more, he was eager to show the ritual room. While I am prepping the room and learning the chants, Kreacher is on the warpath to the Nasty Bitches house. Just outside the ward border, he scanned the house, in a minute he located the rat and silently popped inside. He stunned the rat, and replaced it with another lookalike, a thing even I did not think of. Kreacher showed me the rat: "This be the traitor of The Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Black and Potter."

"You did great Kreacher, after the ritual you can ask your boon or save it for later." The bastard almost smiled. The room was prepped, and the main ingredient, Scabbers, was laid down in the center, I checked again for special requirements like full moon or solstice, when all was set, I locked the room and started the ritual.

It gave extra power if the one with the curses does the ritual himself, combined with the enemy, one block after another got transferred, I literally saw the blocks lift. I even got rid of the Horcrux, which improved my eyesight.

Halfway through the ritual, Scabbers changed back into a Peter, before he woke up I stomped his head on the floor, knocking him out completely. I had to, if he woke up then I was done for, a scrawny ten-year-old is no match for a death eater, even if it is a cowardly one. At the end of the ritual, all that was left of Peter is an empty husk.

A strip search got me two wands, Voldy's and the rats', that bastard was as poor as a church rat, no wonder he was freeloading at the Weasleys. Both wands reacted friendly to me… MINE! Hah, hide! I am armed and mildly dangerous! The negative side is that I can't use him anymore to free Sirius, the only consolation is that I didn't get Sirius free with him. The only thing this boy is not going to follow is Canon. This one here is going to be a rebel with a cause. This is war!

Ah, that felt nice, to be able to yell it all out without Vernon to beat me up… Fuck! I could have used Vernon!

Maybe next time. Kreacher showed me a book about healing, it had a nice analysis spell, after a few tries I came out clean as a newborn baby, just as promised, even my scar is gone, my eyesight is 20/20, and it felt like my magic was tripled at least.

Now I have to settle my debt to Kreacher: "Kreacher? Ah, it is done, name your boon if you will." Reluctantly Kreacher showed the locket: "Kreacher needs to destroy this locket, Master Regulus commanded it. Bad Kreacher could not do it. Kreacher tried and tried, Kreacher could not do so."

I felt the evil from three feet away, I said to Kreacher: "I will look in this book for a ritual, if we can't find any, then you have to wait until I am in Hogwarts? Or, can you get some Basilisk venom? It works with that." This is rightfully an evil home, Kreacher found some in the potion storage. After testing I still could speak to snakes, I said: "Kreacher, I will open the locket, you pour the Basilisk venom in the locket." I had never seen an elf so focused. With a §Open§ the locket opened, I stepped back and Kreacher gave it a venom bath. A minute later Voldy left the house. The little bugger cried for a half hour, so glad master Reggie's last command was done.

Xxxxx

When we came upstairs, Walburga shrieked from her portrait: "Kreacher! Who did you bring into the house? I told you to close the house for everyone until the Malfoy scion is of age!"

I showed myself to her and asked: "Why do you want the killers of your son in this house? Did you not know he and his half-blood wannabe lord is responsible for the death of nephew Regulus? He even bribed the prime minister to keep your eldest son in Askaban. I even bet he is responsible for your death and that of Grand Uncle Arcturus the previous Lord Black. Kreacher! Tell the tale of master Reggie to Walburga."

Hah! The bitch even let me finish talking, I moved a few steps away, I didn't dare to sit down, all kinds of nasties are living in the furniture. Twenty minutes later Kreacher finished his tale to a stunned Walburga.

I decided to bluff a bit, I said: "Voldemort's real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle. He is the son of Merope Gaunt and a muggle Tom Riddle. She seduced him with a love potion, when she got pregnant she stopped dosing him, he left her of course, they were neighbors and he was engaged to a muggle.

He grew up in an orphanage and got sorted in Slytherin. There you have it, do you think he would have liked the pure bloods in Slytherin? I bet he wants to kill them all. How many pure bloodlines were wiped out by him?

And those hardcore pure bloods let themselves even get branded like common cattle."

Walburga asked: "How do you know all that?"

I think I am some kind of seer madam, occasionally I got visions from my scar. I just did a ritual to get rid of it." Blame it on the scar, it works all the time, half will believe it, the other half will say that it was nonsense. Either way, I win.

"Kreacher? Can you pop me over to your sister? Or close by? And as aunt Walburga said, lock the house for everyone except Lord Black and his Heir. I will take this book about rituals with me, I have use for it. I will return it when lord Black returns, meanwhile clean the house."

Hmm, did I close all loopholes? Wait a minute: "Kreacher, call Tapsy here so she can pop me directly in the manor." Kreacher called Tapsy reluctantly, when Tapsy popped in, she jumped in my arms and cried… those elves do that a lot around me lately. Then she hugged Kreacher and thanked him. She froze and looked around, Kreacher took a few steps back, embarrassed by the condition of the House.

Tapsy asked: "Kreacher? Did you become… lazy? Or did you becomes too old?"

Kreacher squirmed: "Mistress Black ordered the house to be filthy so squatters don't want to move in."

"He will clean the house now Tapsy I even give you permission to help. Now can you pop me home, please? I am sleepy." A pop later and I was home, I felt the wardstone welcoming me, Tapsy led me to the office and showed me the Heir ring: "The Lord ring is in the family vault at Gringotts. Put the ring on, it will protect you."

The ring went on my finger, resized, and with a flash accepted me. I was tired out, I did not even notice when Tapsy put me in bed.

Xxxxx

That night an old man was jumping all over Britain, looking for his lost puppet. Two days later, he announced to the wizarding world that Harry Potter died. That stirred a hornets' nest, The Daily Garbage had a field day, they put the blame on everyone as long it sold well.

Tapsy showed me the paper and said: "Master Harry needs to write a letter to Blooddagger, and seal it with the ring, or nasty headmaster will rob the vaults. Now drink this, it will help you grow."

A few hours Later Blooddagger received a letter from heir Potter:

Account manager Blooddagger,

I write to you to inform Gringots that I am still alive. I am behind war wards and stay here until I enter Hogwarts. I escaped my prison with a loyal house elf from my other House. There he helped me do a ritual to remove all blocks and trackers, even the house elf block and the mail block.

I do not know who did this all to me, but I am safe for the moment. Can you see if my family has a solicitor and ask for help?

Tapsy said to add a few drops of blood to prove I am a Potter.

Close all vaults and retract all keys for everyone, only the normal transactions of the businesses like rents and taxes can pass.

Yours truly

Henry James Potter

Heir Primary of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House off Potter.

Heir Primary of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House off Black

Ps

There may be more houses but I don't know them yet.

Well, that letter looked innocent enough, like a kid wrote it with the help of a house elf.

Blooddagger analyzed the blood and confirmed it was from Henry James, he took the letter and went to his superiors to show it: "Elders, Warlord Ragnar, there is something suspicious going on with the Potter account. This letter proves that Heir Potter is still alive, to make certain, I send a letter to the main house elf and asked her to come over with my letter and a few drops of his blood."

Ragnar frowned: "Why in Great Nifflers name would Dumbledore declare Heir Potter dead? It doesn't make sense."

Blooddagger answered: "There are strange things happening with Dumbledore, he is regularly taking big sums from the trust vault, for the boy up keeps, only those sums can keep a noble family living in luxury for years. Also, he is the one that sealed the Potter will and took the guardianship over."

Ragnar: "We will wait for what that house elf as to say."

An hour later Tapsy popped in with the letter: "Account manager Blooddagger, this be the letter you wanted."

Blooddagger accepted the letter and asked: "What happened? How did the boy get to you?"

Tapsy was angry: "Nasty headmaster put spells on Master Harry, we could not find Master Harry, even when he called. Three days ago Kreacher from house Black called for Tapsy when Tapsy came, Master Harry was with him, the spells hurtses to mush and Tapsy had to go away.

Kreacher helpes Master Harry to remove nasty spells so Master Harry can come home. Yesterday Tapsy helpes Master Harry to write the letter to yous."

Blooddagger swore, Dumbledore is after Potter, his most important client… his only client. He said to Tapsy: "Ask Master Harry that I can visit him with the family solicitor? You have to show him to set the wards to let us in. you can already tell him that all keys are revoked and an audit is being done right now."

Tapsy popped away. Swearing, Blooddagger did his report to Ragnar, when he was done, Ragnar spoke: "Order an audit of Dumbledore's vaults, something stinks. The potter account is more important than the account of Dumbledore. We cannot mess with an Heir of one of our richest clients. If word gets out that we let the Boy Who Lived get robbed, then we lose face to the other Branches. Wait for further actions after the audits are done."

Xxxxx

Here I am, living a life in luxury. Finally, you might say, clothes that fit, with the potion regime I gained weight and height. On Tapsy's advice, I started to work out, so the weight goes to muscles instead of fat. I am not a ten-year-old Schwarzenegger yet, but I am getting in shape.

I stored Voldy's wand and practiced with Wormies twig. After revising my spells from first til fifth year, the potion section taught me the most, although that is mostly Snape's fault, that prick had it for me from day one, just like Canon.

I studied the courses that I neglected, Runes and Arithmancy. A section of the library was dedicated to old school books from my ancestors, full of notes and tips. This is a treasure grove! If Hermione ever sees this she will have a hissy fit or an orgasm.

Occlumency was the main goal to achieve, I spent five hours a day practicing it, the days that snape can read my memories are over. If he tries… Hmm, maybe I get in Hufflepuff, I can sit next to Susan Bones, I have access to Amelia Bones that way, I have Snape in Azkaban before the month is out.

Too bad, I have to go to Hogwarts for that Tiara, or I would go to Beaubatons… Nah, my French sucks more than Fleur's English.

Next, I have to get allies from big houses. Neville is my godbrother so it is easy to make contact with him, almost all fan fictions blame the wand and his uncle Algy, although dropping a boy out the window and hoping he bounces is kind of crazy.

Luna is always good for a laugh, I got to shag Cho this time, maybe Hermione too if she can outgrow her mother-hen complex.

My favorite victi… family the Greengrasses, you know, opposites attract, but Daphne… she is one fine good looking chick. Astoria got that blood malediction in Canon, so she has it in most fan fiction too. And I happen to have a book that can cure her, I will even suggest using Lucius or Snape for it… both! Daphne is no doubt a carrier too.

Hmmm, why not a Veela? I can make contact with the Delacour's. Fleur is thirteen now, just old enough to make friends with her before she becomes cold and got shunned when puberty kicks in and her allure gets out of control.

Yeah right, I get caught when setting a foot out of the door, and the old goat put me back at the Dursley's, probably with an Imperio on my ass.

Well, my first job is to get rid of the Dursleys. Tapsy bought some muggle stationery and paper, and I wrote a nice letter:

Mr Police Copper,

You have to go look for my friend Harry! He doesn't come out to play anymore. Maybe he was bad and got punished again and can't leave his cupboard, they do that some times you know.

Or he get beaten when he had better grades as Dudley, that is his cousin you know. He beat us up when we try to help Harry all the time, so we do that when he isn't looking.

Last week he told me that his room is the cupboard under the stairs, maybe that is why he is punished. Can you see if he is ok? He lives in Privet Drive 4 Little Whinging

Thank you.

I better don't tell my name or Dudley beats me up again.

That letter can be from a scared little boy, that is afraid for his friend… I put it in an envelope and wrote Police station Little Whinging put some stamps on it and let Tapsy post it in Little Whinging. If there comes nothing from it, I only lost some time and a few stamps.

Xxxxx

Tapsy gave a letter from Blooddagger telling me he will visit tomorrow with Solicitor Dewey. That gave me time to practice my sad face in front of the mirror, it didn't do shit, the mirror made rude comments and broke my concentration, no doubt my dad spelled that mirror.

Anyway, tomorrow I will take my life into my own hands.