Here is my new multi-chapter fic. I'm both nervous and excited to embark on this journey with you. A special thanks to Floopdeedoopdee for being an amazing Beta. Without her, this fic would never have seen the light of day.
Chapter 1
Jay had been sitting there for nearly fifteen minutes, watching the second-hand tick on the clock above Mrs. Lewis's head while she wrote on a yellow legal pad. He wanted to ask her what she was jotting down, but he didn't want to seem too nosy.
Jay had been in this room so many times, he had it practically memorized. If he closed his eyes he could picture the tall lamp standing in the far corner. The brown leather sofa butted against the wall across from the door, and the wing-backed chair tucked in the corner to his right. He could even name the titles of the books on the shelves: Family Dynamics, Surviving the Suffering, and The Lost Boys: America's Males at risk. The vanilla-scented candle burning on the second shelf of the desk was a new addition. He wasn't sure if he liked it yet.
"Look, Jay, you're a smart kid," Mrs. Lewis said, finally looking up from her legal pad. "I don't have to tell you what happens if you don't hold up your end of the bargain. If you keep getting into fights, lashing out at your teachers while on academic probation, they will suspend you. And as your guidance counselor, I won't be much help after that."
"For how long?" Jay asked.
"The suspension? Probably for the remainder of the year. Is that what you really want? You're a junior, next year you'll be applying for Colleges and you do not want that on your permanent record."
A lungful of air whooshed out, deflating Jay like a balloon. He shifted his gaze to the framed inspirational posters on the wall in front of him. Jay recognized the frames. They were from Target. Cheap black frames that looked nice enough. His mom bought them to display his brother's many certificates. They didn't hold up well, and over time his mother had to duct tape the back to hold them together, but no one sees the backs of picture frames on the wall.
Everything looked nice from the front.
Mrs. Lewis waited for him to say something, but Jay knew better than to speak. Though, he felt bad. She had been trying to help him since the beginning of the year, so Jay took a deep breath.
"I'll do my best to stay out of trouble."
"No repeats of last week, okay?"
Shifting his position, Jay muttered under his breath, "That asshole had it coming."
"He did, and your anger was entirely justifiable. But you can't act on it. You must learn to simply sit with your anger and let it pass." Mrs. Lewis offered him a kind smile. "My job here is to help you channel these big emotions into something positive. So, have you given any more thought about joining a club, or playing a sport?"
Maybe he could do cross-country again. He missed shutting out the rest of the world and pounding the pavement until his legs felt like they were going to fall off. It helped clear his mind and steady his thoughts. But if he brought it up, Mrs. Lewis might latch onto it, like his mom, so he said, "Not really."
"What do you do outside of school? Do you hang out with friends? Or do you prefer to do things on your own?"
Jay adjusted his weight on the sofa. "On my own, mostly."
"What types of things do you do?" Mrs. Lewis pressed and waited for him to answer, but when Jay's answer was a shrug, she asked, "Do you play video games? Are you a computer guy?"
"I play video games."
She scribbled something on the legal pad. Again, Jay wondered what she was writing down. When she looked back up, he tried to read her expression. At least nothing about her gave any indication she disapproved of him playing video games, which is something his mom definitely took an issue with.
"Okay, so here's your assignment. I want you to look through this list," she handed him a piece of paper, "choose a club and go to one of their meetings."
Jay sighed, looking over the list. "Really?"
"Yes, Jay. Really. That is your assignment until you're off probation." She jotted something else down on the pad. "And don't think that simply adding your name to an attendance sheet will suffice; I'll be checking to make sure you stayed for the entire meeting."
Mrs. Lewis looked over her glasses as if she was about to say something else, but there was a knock on the door. She stood up, "That's my next appointment," she said and opened the door. "Come on in, Justin. We're just about done."
Jay shoved the list into his jean pocket, stood up, and shouldered his backpack as a lanky boy strolled inside.
"Look over the list, Jay, and please come see me if you need anything else."
Jay walked out of the guidance counselor's office, to find his brother waiting for him. Will Halstead was the cream of the Halstead crop. Popular, charismatic, and an excellent athlete. It was difficult to deal with the pressure of being Will's younger brother. In more ways than one, Jay's reputation preceded him because of it. He did his best to ignore the constant comparisons, but it wasn't always easy.
"Did Mrs. Lewis tighten the loose screws in your head?" Will teased, to which Jay just rolled his eyes and shoved past him. "So, I take it you're still on probation?"
"Yup," Jay answered flatly. "And you're still an asshole."
"Oh, ouch," Will said, feigning hurt. "Is this the thanks I get for waiting for you to finish your little therapy session so you don't have to walk home in the rain?"
Jay turned and said flatly, "I will gladly take the rain."
"Fine. Suit yourself, little brother."
When Jay stepped a foot outside, he immediately regretted forgoing his ride home. The rain was coming down in a steady sheet of water, which meant he would be drenched by the time he got to the end of the school's driveway. But Jay wasn't about to give Will the satisfaction of calling him back, so he pulled his hood over his head and began tracking home.
The rain was coming down so hard that within minutes Jay was soaked to the skin. He picked up the pace, but as lightning flashed and thunder cracked one after the other, he realized he should probably seek refuge somewhere. Squinting, he looked up, seeing a diner ahead.
He pushed the door open and a bell jingled above his head. The diner was mostly empty, with a few kids he recognized from school hanging out in booths, most likely riding out the storm. Peeling off his wet coat and backpack, he took a seat at the counter. He kept his eyes glued outside, hoping the rain would magically let up a bit.
It didn't
"What can I get you?"
The voice startled him. He turned and saw a girl, leaning across the counter, notepad in hand. She was wearing an apron with the words 'Nico's Diner' tied over an oversized sweatshirt. She was around his age, with long blonde hair tied in a ponytail, and crystal blue eyes. Their color was so disarming that Jay momentarily lost his focus.
The girl stuck her hand in front of his face. "Do you need a menu?" When Jay still didn't answer she said, "Or are you ordering water like the rest of them?" She pressed, tilting her head towards the brash group in the corner.
Jay blinked, refocusing his eyes on hers. "Oh, I, uh, can I get a coffee? Almond milk, one sugar."
"Would that be all?" she asked, and all Jay could do was nod. He was utterly paralyzed with a new feeling he couldn't describe.
The girl turned on her heels and left, but a minute later she returned with a steaming mug in hand. "Can I get you anything else?" she asked, setting the cup down in front of him. There was a hint of a smile on her face, and that alone had Jay's center of gravity shifting.
What was happening?
Jay cleared his throat. "No, no, I'm, good. Thank you."
The girl pressed her lips into a thin line, nodded, and disappeared once again.
Jay took a sip of the steaming coffee and let the hot liquid calm his insides because for reasons unbeknownst to him, his skin was ready to jump off his body. Outside, the rain was still coming down hard and the streets were deserted. Jay reasoned that he should probably get comfortable because it didn't look like he was venturing outside anytime soon. Though, that didn't seem to bother him anymore.
A few minutes later, the blue-eyed girl returned, holding a mop in one hand and a pail in the other. She started wiping the tile floors where Jay had tracked rainwater across it.
"Sorry," he offered.
"It's okay." She waved him off with a genuine smile, and these two dimples broke out on either side of her lips, and suddenly it was like time stopped and everything around Jay ceased to exist. His whole body lit up, and frankly, it scared him.
"It's really coming down out there, huh?" she tossed the observation offhandedly.
"Oh, the rain? Yeah…" he replied, but his brain was busy short-circuiting and he couldn't form a coherent sentence. What had gotten into him?
"It will hopefully let up soon," she said, as she continued to mop the floors.
"D-Do you need help with that?" Jay asked. "I'm the one who came in dripping water all over the place."
"No, it's alright," she replied with those little delves framing her mouth, causing Jay's brain to melt. "Just enjoy the coffee."
Jay couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips, a genuine one, which didn't occur too often, if ever. He didn't want to further embarrass himself, so he forced himself to focus on his coffee and the fact that he still had to walk home wearing soggy shoes.
Minutes later, the sound of a cup clattering onto the floor startled him. He turned and saw broken glass and a growing puddle of water on the floor.
"Oops," one of the kids sitting in the back booths said, which was followed by a chorus of laughter. Eric Grunt, Jay recognized him right away. He'd have a couple of run-ins with him.
"I believe I'm going to need another glass of water," Eric said.
The blue-eyed girl rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed. She put her mop down and disappeared out back, returning moments later with another cup of water and a dustpan. She placed the new cup on the table with a not-too-gentle thump and began to sweep the broken shards onto the dustpan. Then a minute after she was done, another cup clattered to the floor, followed by another burst of laughter.
Jay saw red as he glared at their smirking faces. He felt anger bubbling up inside like a can of shaken Pixie Fizz. Mrs. Lewi's words drifted in his head – sit with your anger and let it pass – but it didn't sink in. So, he got up and marched right up to their table, his hands fisted at his sides.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Jay said.
Eric looked up but dismissed Jay completely. "Get out of here, dude." His clique shared looks between themselves, snickering.
"Pick it up," Jay ordered.
"The fuck I will," Eric said, standing so he was now face-to-face with Jay. "That's her job."
"Pick it up," Jay repeated firmly. "I'm not going to ask again."
"You're crazy, man," Eric waved him off. "Go back to living under your brother's shadow."
At that, Jay grabbed him by his coat and punched him in the face, sending him staggering back a couple of steps, but Eric didn't lose his footing. He put a hand against the table to catch his balance and then pushed off, in a diving tackle. They crashed into each other and both of them went down in a heap.
"Hey, hey!" Jay heard the blue-eyed girl screaming. "Stop it! Stop it right now!"
Her words filtered through his burning rage and he pulled back, panting. He took a few steps back, anger still racing through his veins. With the adrenaline still pumping strong, he took in a deep breath, released it, and took in another, attempting to regain control.
"Get out, all of you, before I call the cops!" she yelled and everyone dashed out, including Eric, who was nursing a busted lip.
Jay gazed at the girl's steady blue eyes and finally felt his anger simmer down and abate to a sullen mood.
"What are you waiting for? Get the hell out!" She spoke in a steady voice, though seething with annoyance.
"I-I was just trying to help," he stuttered. "They were doing it on purpose to get you to clean up their—"
"I'm not some helpless damsel in distress," she spat back, looking at him with those ice-blue eyes that seemed to be as deep as the ocean itself. As if the ocean was focused on him. "I don't need anyone coming to my rescue."
The look in her eyes had more confidence in them than Jay had ever felt in his life, the attitude made him think she could take anything the world threw her way and turn it around to suit her.
"I-I'm sorry. That's not what I thought... I didn't think—"
"You're damn right you didn't think," she snapped. "You can't go around punching people like a lunatic."
Jay looked down, feeling red shame creep over his face. "I-I'm sorry. Eric was being a jackass and—"
"Punching him wasn't going to make him stop," she said, then paused to take a few steady breaths.
"I was just trying to help," he said in a last-ditch effort to improve the situation.
Her eyes softened for a split second before hardening again. "Just... go, okay?"
Jay reached into his pocket for a few bills, but she raised her hands, "Coffee's on house," she said, her voice clipped.
"No way." He shook his head and left the money on the counter. "Look, I didn't mean to… I-I'm really sorry."
Jay scooped his belongings from the floor and bolted from the diner, not looking back for fear of what he'd see in her eyes. The rain continued to fall, but the air was calmer, and pockets of blue could be seen opening up in the sky. The lightning was still flashing dimly in the distance, and the thunder was grumbling its farewell. The storm appeared to have passed, but Jay felt as if it had just picked up inside his head.
x
"Hailey? What the hell is going on out here?" a voice boomed from the back of the diner.
"Nothing, it's nothing," she replied dismissively and briefly glanced over her shoulder when the door to the back of the diner swung open. "Just a few rowdy kids. They are gone now."
The owner of the deep voice walked out to where Hailey was sweeping the broken glass shards and grumbled, "They break a cup again?"
Hailey nodded. "It's okay, dad. It was just an accident."
"They at least leave a good tip?" he inquired.
She shook her head. "They just had the waters." She motioned to the empty booth with the half-empty water cups and busied herself with cleaning, not daring to look him in the eye.
He banged his fist on the table, startling her. "Damn kids. If we keep buying cups and plates every week, we will go bankrupt sooner rather than later," he huffed angrily, crossing his arms and muttering curses under his breath. Then he spotted a couple of bills on the counter and pocketed them. "This is coming out of your tips."
Hailey bit her tongue, to hold back the retort that she hadn't been given tips in months now. But saying anything right now was unwise. Plus, she suspected he'd taken a few pulls from the vodka bottle she knew was hidden in one of the cabinets outback.
"Where the hell is your brother?"
"He had to stay after school, but he'll be here soon."
He shook his head angrily. "Get this dining room cleaned up. The dinner rush is about to begin," he drawled with a bitter edge to his voice before he stomped back to the kitchen.
Hailey nodded and seemed to chew on his words a minute before letting out a deep sigh. She rolled up the sleeves of her sweater but quickly tugged them down when saw the bruises there. She kept telling herself that this was only a temporary situation. Her mother couldn't possibly continue to put up with the abuse day after day. Makeup only covered so much. And it wasn't like it was getting any better. She feared one of them would end up in the hospital in the not-too-distant future.
Just a little longer.
Hailey had to keep her cool for a little longer.
She repeated the same line a few times, each time believing it a little bit more herself.
x
"Where in God's name have you been?" Jay's mom exclaimed when he strode inside the house hours later, soaking wet.
"I decided to walk," Jay intoned. "It's good exercise."
"During a storm, Jay? You could catch a cold, or pneumonia! C'mon," she said pulling him inside while tugging at his drenched clothes. "Take them off, head on upstairs, and into the shower."
Jay grumbled under his breath and removed a few layers before he climbed the stairs and into the bathroom. As the hot water beat down on his back, he thought about the girl with blue eyes and dimples, which is bonkers considering he spent all of twenty minutes with her. He managed a single smile out of her and then promptly screwed it up by allowing his anger to get the best of him. If word got back to Mrs. Lewis that he punched Eric, he would for sure be on academic suspension for the rest of the year.
He couldn't make that mistake again.
The next day, Jay made plans to stop by the diner after school. He didn't have a concrete strategy, but he would at the very least learn her name and apologize again. However, his plan changed when he spotted her walking down the hallway in school. His eyes widened, and he did a double-take as he watched her stroll right past him with her head down, her shoulders curling in while clutching a few textbooks under her arm. His eyes followed her until she walked right into his first-period class. His head just about exploded.
Had she been here this whole time?
He followed her inside and saw her take the corner desk, making herself seem small as if she was trying to not be seen.
He took a seat a few desks over and watched her. She turned as if sensing his gaze, and their eyes met. Her expression was both terrified and calm. Jay quickly flashed a shadow of a timid smile and lifted his hand to wave. She pretended like she hadn't noticed him. Sure, the cold shoulder was nothing more than he deserved after the way he acted yesterday. But he hoped she'd see that his intentions had been good; he just went about it the wrong way.
Mr. Collins, the Math teacher, began the day's lesson, but Jay couldn't focus on anything else. There were equations and tables drawn on the board, but nothing was fully processing in his brain. He kept replaying different scenarios in his head in which he would say something funny and she would smile, displaying the cute dimples on her cheeks.
The rest of the day dragged by, but to Jay's surprise, the blue-eyed girl was in three of his classes, which was both good and bad. Good because he could try to get some face time with her; bad because it would definitely jeopardize his focus and eventually, his grades.
He needed a plan. A solid plan. But for what? He wasn't sure, but he wanted to know more about her.
x
The next morning, Jay was rushing out of the house when his mom stopped him. "Jay, wait a second, I found this in your pocket yesterday." Jay stopped in his tracks, looking at the crumpled-up paper his mom was holding. "Thinking of joining a club?" she asked.
Jay rolled his eyes at his mother's thinly veiled excitement. "It's not a big deal mom."
"What's not big deal?" Will chimed in, shouldering his school bag.
"Jay is thinking of joining an afterschool club. Maybe you can help him find something he likes."
Will laughed. "You know, I heard the dance team needs guys. Maybe you can wow them with your moves."
"What, Natalie hasn't suckered you into joining? She pretty much owns your ass."
"Ha-ha," Will said humorlessly. "At least I have a girlfriend."
"Alright boys," his mother said, her tone firm. "Get on out here before you're late. And Jay, I think joining a club is a good idea."
"Yeah, yeah…" Jay waved her off, taking the list with him.
"Love you," his mother called after them. "Make good choices."
On the way to school, he looked over the list, playing the game of which club would suck the least. He crossed out any club that demanded a significant amount of his time, including the debate team, the book club, and the Mathletes. Photography, painting, and pottery clubs were also out of the question due to his lack of artistic ability. However, one club stood out. The library club. Since it was in the library, there was probably not much talking, and he would probably just sit there for an hour and finish his homework.
Win, win.
During the day, Jay tried but failed to get the blue-eyed girl's attention, possibly because she was actively ignoring him. She sat in the far back corner of every class, never spoke up, never raised her hand. It's no surprise he never noticed her. She also wore baggy sweaters, which completely engulfed her small frame. The sleeves were too long and she kept pushing them over her wrists. This girl wanted to be undetected.
At the end of the day, after completely striking out, Jay begrudgingly walked down to the library to take part in their meetings. However, when he stepped foot inside, he couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the familiar blonde ponytail. Immediately his heart picked up the pace, and his stomach did its own circus act, complete with twists and turns and all sorts of flips.
The library club turned out to be a win, win, win.
When she saw him, she rolled her eyes and sighed deeply. Thinking he couldn't make matters worse, he took slow steps towards her.
"You stalking me now?" she said.
"It's not stalking if we go to the same school," he said and shrugged, giving her what he hoped was a casual smile.
She rolled her eyes again, unamused. "What are you doing here anyway?"
"I'm here for the library club," he stated matter-of-factly.
"Really?" she asked incredulously. "Since when you're interested in the library club?"
Jay rocked back on his heels and then he finally muttered, "Since today. What, you're in it?"
"Like you didn't know."
"I swear to you I didn't. My guidance counselor has been on my case about me joining a club. This seemed like a safe bet."
Hailey looked at him doubtfully, her instincts probably telling her that he was lying. She narrowed her eyes at him, making her nose crinkle up, which Jay thought was very cute.
"I don't know what you're—"
"Alright everyone," the librarian spoke softly, interrupting her. "Does everyone know what they're doing? If you don't remember your assignment for this week raise your hand."
Jay looked around at all the nodding heads and raised his hand. "I don't have an assignment."
"Oh, you're new. Welcome," the librarian intoned. "How about you stick around with…." She pauses, looking over her glasses at the faces in front of her. "Hailey, can you show him our book classification system?"
"Yeah," the blue-eyed girl answered, though begrudgingly.
Hailey.
Her name was Hailey. A slow smile spread across his face. He repeated the name in his head, wondering what it would feel like rolling off his tongue.
"Alright then, let's get to it," the librarian said.
Jay trailed Hailey as she pushed an empty cart around the library, collecting books from the return bins and those scattered on the tables. She neatly stacked them in small piles, her fingers toying with the corners as she picked them up.
"I don't think I've officially introduced myself," Jay began. "I'm Jay. Jay Halstead."
"I know who you are," Hailey said, picking up a few books strewn on a table. Seeing his confusion, she explained, "The school isn't that big. We have three classes together."
"Right." Jay felt his face turning red. "Sorry, I guess I just haven't been paying attention."
He heard her release a huff of breath that ended in what sounded like a laugh but really wasn't. "I'm Hailey," she offers. "In your defense, we moved here not long ago."
"Nice to meet you, Hailey." The name did roll smoothly off his tongue. "Where did you live before coming here?"
"Lake Forest."
Jay let out a low, impressed whistle. "Good living up in Lake Forest."
She shrugged and flashed him a slightly crooked smile. Jay heard his heart pounding in his ears like a freaking bass drum. For a solitary moment, he considered asking if she wanted to hang out with him after but thought that might be too forward.
"So," Hailey said, pulling him out of his daze, "You see here," she pulled a book from one of her neat piles and pointed to a sticker on the bottom spine, "all books have call numbers. Always read from left to right, top to bottom. Essentially, a book is assigned a category number and a cutter number or numbers and –"
"I know how the Dewey Decimal System works," Jay said. "I'm not a complete idiot, you know?"
"You could've fooled me," she said. He thought there was a hint of teasing in her voice, but he wasn't sure whether or not he was imagining it.
This girl was going to keep him on his toes.
"Ouch," Jay said, feigning hurt.
"C'mon, we have a lot of books to put away and I need to get to the diner by four."
Jay followed her through the aisles, helping her put the stacks of books back in place. It was a menial task, but he didn't mind. He was quite content to spend the afternoon with Hailey. He felt drawn to this girl like a moth to a five-thousand-megawatt bug zapper, similar to the one his grandfather had in his cabin.
"So, you got a thing for books?" Jay asked, and as soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them, but it was too late to walk it back.
Hailey rolled her eyes and tossed him a glare over her shoulder as she reached up to put a book away. "I do like books, and the fact that I can come here and not be bothered by anyone."
Jay grinned, then picked up a book and followed her. "Probably the top reason why I decided to join too. It was either this or knitting."
Hailey arched a brow, a smile tugging at her lips.
"What, you don't think I can knit?" Jay asked. "I could totally learn to knit."
"Mhmm," she hummed.
"I'll even make you a scarf."
"Mmhmm," she hummed again, this time with a widening grin.
They continued working down the aisles and Jay just wanted to keep her talking. "So, how long have you been working at the diner?" he asked, moving past her to place a book back on a shelf.
"My family owns the diner. So, I've been helping out ever since I can remember."
"Oh," Jay said, surprised. "That's cool."
"It's okay," she shrugged and Jay thought he saw something cloud over her eyes. "It certainly has its ups and downs. The other day I had to break up a fight."
Hailey looked over her shoulder and Jay felt his ears turn pink. He expected her to look mad but her expression was completely calm.
"I'm really sorry about that. I don't know what came over me," Jay offered. "You were right. Punching Eric wouldn't fix anything."
The tightness surrounding her eyes softened and she pressed her lips together. After a beat, she said, "You did a good thing." Her words were timid but without hesitation. "Eric and his clique of idiots are always causing problems. It was about time someone put him in his place."
Jay gazed at her, a little taken aback by her statement. For a fleeting instant, he saw a glimpse of something deep in her eyes. However, as quickly as it appeared it dissipated and was replaced by a blank stare. Then she cleared her throat, turning her focus back to the pile of books on the cart.
They continued going down the aisles mostly in silence until Hailey piped up, "Oh shoot, I gotta go."
Jay tried not to look disappointed. "See you tomorrow?"
Hailey shrugged and her smile dimpled. "Maybe."
Jay stood there, watching her hotfoot out of the library. There was just something oddly captivating about her, something beneath the surface, but he couldn't put his finger on exactly what. And it bothered him. He had never felt this way before. In fact, he had been quite content to skate through high school without acting like a love struck teenager. He couldn't understand the effect this girl he hardly knew was having on him.
Maybe he was insane for feeling the way he did. But he was excited he'd finally found her – the person he was sure he'd never find. He couldn't shake her (didn't want to), and every part of his body tingled at the prospect of being around her.
He wanted (needed) to know everything about her.
Thank you for reading. Comments are always welcomed. See ya'll soon for chapter 2.
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