AN: So, I needed a break from doing long fics for the sake of my mental health. I still want to write, thus I decided to do a shorter project. I've always wanted to write a story involving Steely Dan, so I figured now was as good a time as any. Each one shot will be based on a song from their debut album, Can't Buy a Thrill. I won't post every day for the sake of my sanity, but I do have almost every song outlined. We'll see how it all goes.
In the meantime, if you haven't already, check out Steely Dan! You won't regret it!
Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
Summer had not been kind to Las Vegas. Patterns without commonality were forming. It was impossible to discern a solution. The dealers could only brace themselves for the coming disaster.
The story played out the same every night from one casino to another. Two people entered. Sometimes they were a man and a woman, sometimes they were two men, and on rare occasions, they were two women.
First, the couple would hit the blackjack table, and win a small but noticeable amount. An hour later they would escape to the restroom, only to remerge to the high stakes poker table. They would sit at the table. One had a warm expression, and one had the best poker face any Nevadan had ever seen.
Not once did they make a mistake! They knew exactly when to call, fold, and raise. Night after night, casino after casino, they took the other players, and by extension the house, to the cleaners. Some players only won hundreds. Each night, they won thousands.
After a few hours, satisfied they'd made enough, they would leave for the bar. Sometimes they called it a night after a nightcap, but sometimes one would play the slots while the other sat back and sipped a gin martini. Yes, the slot player always won. Granted, it was never a jackpot, but they had yet to lose money on any machine.
All of Las Vegas was banging their heads against a wall. It was always two individuals who won, but their appearance was altered. They were different races, ages, heights, and weights. Other than winning and being a pair, there were no other commonalities. The guards had inspected all the winners for disguises, but no dice. It was just a strange coincidence sundown after sundown.
What could Sin City do? They couldn't very well deny entry to every person who came in a pair from their casinos, nor could they kick out anyone who won. If they put out an alert, others may begin devising ways to cheat the casinos as well.
Las Vegas stewed in its frustration, praying for the day the house won.
"You make a beautiful woman." Hermione grinned as she sat on the bed with faded white sheets.
"I am not beautiful regardless of my gender or appearance," Severus argued.
"Oh I don't know. Tonight in that pink dress you were quite stunning."
"I absolutely hated that outfit. My feet are going to ache for days thanks to those ridiculous turquoise high heels."
"Now you know how I felt when you suggested I wear them."
"That was quite cruel of me, but this bra. I hate bras with a passion." He threw the offending garment onto the floor. "Merlin how do you women wear these with any degree of comfort?"
"You get used to it," She laid down on the bed, enjoying the feel of her white bathrobe.
"Yes, but tomorrow night we disguise ourselves as men," he argued as he threw on his nightshirt. "Or at least I will."
"I'll do my best to find a man's hair, though I can't promise anything."
"Unfortunately."
"That being said, you've had a long day. Why don't you rest your feet?" She patted the bed beside her.
"That is the best idea you've had all night." Severus lay beside her and smirked.
"I've had several good ideas tonight."
"That you have, just as you always do." He kissed her on the cheek.
She laughed. "Did I tell you that regardless of your gender, you look sexy when you win?"
"I would never be so blind as to call myself sexy, though you are quite sensual when you're casting a câßtig on a slot machine."
"It honestly surprises me no wizard or witch ever thought to create the spell before. It could save a few of them from bankruptcy if they just knew how to rig a slot machine."
"None of them are as brilliant as you, nor are they as willing to use muggle means of getting rich as we are."
"We are quite cunning that way, aren't we?"
"Indeed we are," he captured her lips.
Night after night, the procedure was the same. First, stay in the cheapest hotel possible, preferably one removed from the prying eyes of the city. Then, find the hairs of two random people, always ensuring their disguises were different from the night before. Once they drank the polyjuice, they would enter the casino, hit the blackjack table to win small change for an hour. Then, they would go to the high stakes poker table.
Nobody ever suspected that Severus was able to read the other players' minds, knowing exactly what hand they had and how they planned to play the game. Few others suspected Hermione was a card counter and a genius with numbers. They never suspected she knew when to give Severus the odds of obtaining his next cards, all in her head of course. Sometimes they would rig the slot machine to win, though this could not be every night. No, that was too risky.
Once autumn arrived, they would take their winnings and open an apothecary. They would return to Britain as Mr. and Mrs. Snape, two unassuming potions masters. Nobody would ever suspect they were the couple who had brought Las Vegas to its knees.
They would live ordinary lives, until they got that itch for a little more excitement. Then, they would pack their polyjuice potion, return to Las Vegas, and do it again.