Detonation Chapter 1, a teen titans fanfic

The last three months had been terrible… Okay, that was an understatement. Think of every adjective you can to describe terrible things (horrible, awful, unbearable, etc.) and combine them, and maybe, MAYBE, that would scratch the surface to describe how bad these three months were.

Nightwing graoned and laid his head back on his pillow, had it really been three months? Three months since she just up and left, not a word to anyone. One minute she's taking a transmission from Galfore, then next, she's just gone. Her battle armor no where to be found.

The hurt had been palpable on everyone, until Raven and Cyborg took a deep breathe and read the logic. Something obviously happened on Tameran, and she needed to go, but to not say good bye to anyone, even him? He groaned and put a pillow on his face.

He'd finally stopped being such an ass. He was pursuing her, romancing her, and now she was just gone? Had all that flirting just been in his head? Had she left because he was harassing her?

He took another breath. No, something happened on Tameran, and for some reason, she couldn't say goodbye… to any of them. He groaned again, yep, still hurt.

Her presence was missed at every moment; the rooms were a little less bright, the rooms didn't roar with laughter as much, there wasn't the smell of her baking (after an argument between Cyborg and Beastboy regarding whether Cyborg should make vegan cupcakes or not {Cyborg so vehemently against to the point nothing was made at all} she stayed up all night and made both. It made the team so happy she kept looking up and making different things. She'd even made him a huge cake on his birthday), Raven didn't speak as much, Cyborg took forever working on his car without her help, Beastboy was practically touch starved…. And so was he.

Though he wasn't sure if they were 'official' yet, she still tucked under his arm, and on his chest. They'd talk all night and she'd fall asleep and he'd turn into a creep and watch her from the chair until he fell asleep leaning on the bed beside her, attracted to the loving warmth that just radiated off of her. He missed her. Though sometimes he felt like the only one.

The team was frustratingly patient, making him all too aware of his childish impatience, they continued to say "she'll be back soon," "she'll come home when she's done," "Dick, if you don't stop pressing your nose against the window I will make you clean it." Annoying.

He got up and sat at his desk, he opened his communicator, her tracking had gone out of range long ago but it didn't stop him from trying,

"Hey Star, it's me, it's day ninety-four that you're gone. I still miss you like crazy. I miss your smile, I miss talking to you, I miss our sunsets. I know you're doing something really important that's probably our understanding… but can you just," he sighed, "Starfire, come home, please. I'm going crazy without you… Everyone is. I'm annoying them because I miss you so much, I'm giving Raven a headache, and Cyborg says if he hears me sigh one more time he and Beastboy would lock me in the garage while they take my bike for a spin… I need that to not happen please, "he chuckled despite himself, "I hope you're being safe. I miss you. Please come home."

The message sent, he'd hit the button immediately so he wouldn't lose his nerve, but for the last ninety-four days he never had. Sending her a message everyday. He got the notification that the message hit the satellite and he knew his words were flying somewhere in space and he wished with all his heart that each message found her, and made her smile.

Red. Was the sky normally this red? It smelled like death. She knew why, it was all around her, they were all dying, a tear ran down, she knew most were already dead. She felt another tremor and shook with it. She'd tried, right? She'd gone above and beyond her duty? Galfore told her to leave a month ago and she didn't, she stayed to help. She would always help.

She was so tired. Her eyes burned and blood leaked out of them. At least she had done something, even the casualties in the end. She dragged herself closer to Galfore, she was already close, his arm still around her. Protecting her. Saving her with his last breath.

She grabbed his armor and pulled him closer, she was barely able to get an arm around him. She was sore. She burned. She had bile and blood in her throat. Her back, she knew things weren't good. Why wasn't she dying?

Hadn't she done enough. Why wouldn't X'hal take her too? She was spent, she was done. It was over.

Another tremor rocked and she closed her eyes. That would kill her, surely. The ground was more and more unstable. Bodies were falling into cracks in the ground, hitting the walls with sickening sounds. One would open up for her, and she would fall, and she would burn… With Galfore, with her people… surely. She was wetting Galfore's armor with blood and tears, it did not feel respectful, but she needed him. She always did. He wasn't her k'nofka, he was her father. The one her real father could have been. He thought of her until his last breath, she'd seen it in his eyes, felt his hold weaken. Felt him cold.

Yes, the ground would swallow her up and then she could follow him to X'hal. She would let her hug him again. She was pure, kind, she was going to be her release. She would be able to die, finally. It had all been too much, the years of her childhood and her failure now. Though she smiled at the time in between.

Beastboy's laugh, Cyborg's hugs, Raven's cautious love for her… Richard.

She had to have done some good to deserve them. She was right not to say goodbye. They would've made her promise to come home soon, and she couldn't make that promise, not even to them, not even to herself.

She reached and took her communicator out of the belt that once held her weapons and placed it by her head. Does she send them a message? A final one? Tell them how much she loves them?

She opens it, shocked to find hundreds of messages. Had she really not had time to look? Had the battle been that long? Were they okay? Had something happened? She played the most recent message;

Hey Star, it's me, it's day ninety-four that you're gone. I still miss you like crazy. I miss your smile, I miss talking to you, I miss our sunsets. I know you're doing something really important that's probably our understanding… but can you just. Starfire, come home, please. I'm going crazy without you. Everyone is. I'm annoying them because I miss you so much, I'm giving Raven a headache, and Cyborg says if he hears me sigh one more time he and Beastboy would lock me in the garage while they take my bike for a spin. I need that to not happen please. I hope you're being safe. I miss you. Please come home.

Richard.

Day ninety-four? She had left them for that long? More tears rose to her eyes. She failed both her people and now them.

Starfire, come home, please. I'm going crazy without you. Everyone is. I'm annoying them because I miss you so much, I'm giving Raven a headache, and Cyborg says if he hears me sigh one more time he and Beastboy would lock me in the garage while they take my bike for a spin. I need that to not happen please.

His bike? Oh yes, she remembers his bike. They'd work so hard on it. He was so thankful for her physics knowledge and he'd hug her close every time something new worked.

He'd taken her with her on it's first ride. That was theirs.

Cyborg. Beastboy. Raven. Richard.

Their faces smiling, then broken passing through her mind. They would never know for sure what happened to her would they? Maybe that was for the best. They'd have to forget her at some point, right?

I miss you. Please come home.

Starfire closed her eyes tightly, no… He would never let it go, would he? He'd always look for her, they all would. They'd look for her. Probably attack the Gordanians hoping she was on their ship. She had recognized a Captain, he had threatened her Earth as he sunk jus nails into her arm. Hissing, hissing all around. Blood. Fire. Corpses. Defiled corpses. Her stomach burned again and she curled around it.

She should be dead. She heard the cracks of bones. Why wasn't she?

Another tremor shook. She could smell the liquid rock rising. A slow death….

Fitting for a failure.

"I miss you. Please come home."

No! NO! She was done!"

Starfire.

Don't let him say her name like that. He would have to move on. He'd have too. She just wished she could've kissed him again… not for a language transfer…

Starfire.

All of their voices her calling her now. She squeezed Galfore close as another tremor shook. Cracking the ground behind them. She felt him move. They were going to fall. She held him with all the strength he had. His last words rang in her ears as he'd brought her back from the sky, "Live, my bungorf. My Kori'ander. Live."

Tears filled her, as did screams as she fought gravity. Holding him above the edge.

Live.

She couldn't. It was all ruined. She hugged the carnage that was Galfore close, ready to fall. They would be okay.

Should she had listened to Galfore a month again, "run. Protect Earth. I am Grand Ruler, Princess. Only I shall fall here."

Her fist clenched, and she fought not to let either of them fall.

There was another tremor.

Live.

Sobs and screams ripped her lungs.

Starfire.

She screamed, a sick, desperate sound as she loosened her grip on Galfore.

Only I shall fall here.

A retching sob, and a dark chuckle left her mouth. It was a horrible sound.

Only I shall fall here.

Could she let him fall?

The tremors were coming closer together now.

Only I shall fall here.

Starfire.

Broken Tamaranian left her tongue, "I'm so sorry, my father."

She released him, and watched molten rock claim him.

Her people would not get a proper burning, but they would bun and go to X'hal nonetheless.

She stood above the carnage, she felt blood leaking from her.

Starfire.

She grit her teeth, Raven, Beast boy, Cyborg, Richard. Help me. Their laughter and warmth around her filled her. It would be enough. It had too.

She was broken, but she flew.