This was not happening.
This had to be a nightmare her twisted mind conjured up in order to waylay her with insecurity when she had no time to deal with it.
That's what Haruno Sakura kept telling herself, and yet a very adult, very beautiful, and very alive Nohara Rin was still standing in her office no matter how many times she discreetly tried to dispel the genjustu (hands in her lap) or step on her own foot (under her desk) to try to wake up.
"You decorated it so differently than I have," Rin was telling her as she walked around the room, looking at the various charts that hung on the walls and mementos that sat on her bookshelves. Sakura felt as though her whole life was on display as the other woman smiled delightedly at each new finding. "It's really lovely," Rin complimented, her smile warm and friendly.
"Uh, thanks," Sakura managed. She knew she should be welcoming—this woman had never done a thing to her, wasn't even alive in this time, but all Sakura kept wondering was how she could somehow find the tome in her office that matched the one in Medical Director Nohara's office and make this nightmare end.
"I'm sorry to trouble you," Rin suddenly added, perhaps sensing Sakura's unease with the situation. "It's fortunate I ended up with you at the hospital, instead of lost or in enemy territory."
Sakura nodded. So fortunate, her own mind supplied, that she ended up here instead of in another, larger office not all that far away. Under Sakura's supervision, they could fix this quickly, and she could keep Rin out of places she didn't belong.
Away from Sakura's things.
Away from Sakura's position.
Away from Sakura's Kakashi.
As she and Rin searched her office for the thick green book with a red ribbon (or perhaps it was a scroll) inside, Rin shared information about her world. Much like Sakura, she had worked as a field and hospital medic for several years before eventually being promoted to Medical Director of the medical corps. Many of the tragic events from Sakura's timeline seemed to have been averted—Minato was the current Hokage, the Uchiha clan was still alive and thriving, and Obito had avoided harm during the battle of Kannabi Bridge.
Instead, Kakashi had died during that important mission. Sakura observed the sad smile on Rin's face as she talked about how heroic Kakashi had been, how he had sacrificed himself to assure the mission's success and help end the war, and she felt shame cloud her thoughts. Would it be so terrible for them to know the other was alive and happy in another time?
But then she thought about those times, even decades later, Kakashi still woke with an anguished cry and the smell of Rin's blood in his nose. She thought about how long it took for him to let her in, to believe he was worthy to accept her affection and return it in kind. As those reminders swirled about her memory, they hardened her heart against a reunion.
If she was selfish in this, she told herself she could live with it.
Rin asked her a bit about her own life as well. Sakura shared the names of her teammates but omitted her former sensei's name. Rin knew of Naruto and Sasuke, but it seemed Sakura wasn't a medic or directly connected to her two teammates in that timeline. At that news, Sakura became less interested in Rin's world.
"You studied under Tsunade, I presume?" Rin caught her gaze from the other end of the room and touched a finger to her forehead. "You must have amazing chakra control."
"Ah—I suppose," she hedged as she looked through another box for the book. "Tsunade-shishou is an amazing medic and taught me well."
"She's a bit of a hardass in my world," Rin shared, and Sakura huffed out a laugh.
"Not much different from the version here then."
The women shared a genuine smile, and Sakura felt herself begin to relax. Perhaps she shouldn't think of Rin as a threat—she was a loyal Konoha shinobi who needed help getting back home.
She was about to suggest they break for some lunch when she felt a familiar chakra signature coming toward her office. Her gaze swung wildly toward the door and she wondered if Rin would dive under her desk if she screamed "hide".
But it was too late, of course. Moments later, Kakashi opened the door partway and peeked his head in, his hand snaking through the opening with a bagged offering of wonderfully smelling food.
"Shikamaru's just brought me a new pile of reports to sign, so I thought you might hold me hostage if I brought some—"
His eyes took in the additional occupant in the room, and the rest of his offer died on his lips. The room fell silent.
Eventually Kakashi seemed to collect himself. He opened the door the rest of the way, but remained hovering in the doorway as though he might bolt at any moment. He looked nothing short of anguished, and Sakura had to resist the urge to step forward and comfort him.
"Nohara-san, this is our Hokage, Hatake Kakashi," Sakura heard herself say. "I—"
"Kakashi." Rin's utterance of his name was barely more than an exhale, and something in Sakura twisted angrily.
She would not do this.
She would not stand here for this reunion, as another woman murmured her lover's name with such reverence. She would not show them the ugliest side of her that was threatening to break free.
"I was about to offer our guest some food. You have good timing," Sakura told Kakashi. She offered him a tight, strained smile and hoped he didn't notice the inauthenticity behind it.
But it was no matter; his eyes were still glued on Rin.
"Nohara-san, I'm sure you can inform Hokage-sama of your dilemma, and then you two can talk. I'll see if the book is in the archives in the meantime."
She strode forward and silently willed Kakashi to move out of the doorway and allow her escape. As she neared, she could smell he had brought her favorite and her heart lurched.
'Mine' she wanted to snarl. 'This food, this man, this title, this world is mine and not for the taking.'
"Please move," she whispered instead, her eyes downcast and focused on Kakashi's vest so she didn't have to look at his expression. To both her relief and disappointment, he moved aside—moved inside the office—and she counted her footfalls to keep herself calm until she had successfully retreated—not to the archives, but out of the hospital through one of the side doors.
By the time Sakura sent word to Shizune that she needed to take off the remainder of the day and settled herself at a small table outside a food stall, she had worked herself up to an emotional frenzy.
If Rin couldn't or no longer wanted to go back to her own time, what would happen with the medical director position? She didn't think Kakashi would push her out—he would never be so cruel—but he might request she go help their allies while Rin remained in Konoha, much in the way she and Shizune sometimes coordinated when a new project sent Sakura abroad.
And then, of course, there was the matter of her and Kakashi—
"Sakura?"
Sakura glanced up to see Hinata and Naruto a few feet from her, both staring at her worriedly. As she took them in, she felt her eyes begin to well up.
"I'm okay," she insisted, wiping at her face with one hand and waving with the other as they hurried over to her. Seconds later, Naruto was crouched at her side with Hinata hovering just behind him.
"Sakura-chan, what happened?" Naruto asked, and she could see the anger rising in him even without knowing who to direct it toward.
Somehow, she managed to tell them about Rin's appearance and Kakashi's arrival. She watched as the couple shared a look, and then Naruto was sitting across from her while Hinata placed a gentle hand atop her own.
"I'm going to go ahead and start dinner while you two talk," Hinata told her. "I'd love for you to join us."
"Thanks, Hinata."
They watched Hinata walk down the path, and Sakura's guilt intensified. Now she was ruining other people's day with her problems.
"Sakura-chan," Naruto said, calling her attention back to him. "Kakashi-sensei cares for you a lot, you know. I don't think he's going to leave you because his teammate showed up."
Sakura felt her tears renew. She knew Kakashi cared for her, but she also knew how important Rin had been—was—is?—to him. "They loved each other, Naruto," she murmured, and even though it was the truth, it was painful to admit.
She watched as Naruto scrunched his nose up. "When they were teenagers. Most of us didn't end up with the person we loved when we were young. You know that." He tilted his head, raised his brows, and smiled at her meaningfully.
Despite the ache in her chest, she managed to offer him a watery laugh. She understood his point, but still felt it might be different. Kakashi and Rin didn't grow out of their love like she and Naruto had; death had robbed them of their chance together in both timelines.
She worried they might decide this was an opportunity to get that chance back.
"Let's head home. Hinata's waiting for us," Naruto told her, holding out his hand. She took it and let him pull her close as they walked toward his and Hinata's home, grateful for the support.