A/N: Hey there. This is my very first fanfiction after having read so many from the Oregairu community and enjoying the majority of them. This story definitely had a couple sources of inspiration (one of which I'll talk about in the post-chapter notes below). Once I had some general ideas about where a story like this might go, my thoughts about specific scenes started keeping me up at night. So I decided to just put it out there in the best form that I could and see if other people were interested.

So without further ado, I hope you enjoy my "debut" fic.

Silence. A loner's most trusted companion in their journey through life. This longtime friend would come about naturally for someone who spends most of their time avoiding the company of others. Of course, being associated with loners meant they were an enemy of the loner's natural nemesis: the riajuu. Maybe "enemy" is a strong word, because these people didn't actively despise or show aggression towards silence, they merely found its presence in their gatherings to be uncomfortable and would do everything they could to keep it out of their conversations. Wait, now that just sounds like how I was treated in the odd group project last year…Am I projecting onto silence? Am I evaluating my actions towards something non-living? Is this what people with body pillow covers of their favorite anime character think about? I shivered slightly as the face of a large, white haired, "writer" acquaintance of mine flashed in my head. The light mental shock from that thought brought me back into the real world for a moment where I looked over at what had caused the thought process in the first place.

I was sat at the end of the single table set up in this room with my novel in hand and a cup of tea placed within reach of my relaxed position. Across from me sat the club's president and fellow loner: Yukinoshita Yukino. I imagine silence was acquainted with her as well, leaving her and I perfectly comfortable with our respective literature pieces and drinks. In between us sat someone less familiar with silence: our pink haired associate and club loudmouth Yuigahama Yui. Although she was clearly uncomfortable with the lack of conversation between the three of us, she had learned that we sometimes preferred it this way and had come to respect our quiet moments. The light sound of her tapping away at her phone was the only consistent noise in the room, but it was dull enough to fade into the background. But just as silence is a friend who joins in without warning, they may also depart as quickly and suddenly as they came.

This time my quiet companion was pushed out by the electronic beeping of my phone receiving a message. With one of the two potential senders for my phone currently sitting in the room with me, tapping away at her own device, I could only think of one person who would be messaging me. I placed my novel face down so as to not lose my place and pulled my phone out of my pocket before quickly unlocking it to check on the notification. Sure enough, a message lay in my inbox from none other than Komachi, the cutest little sister in the world, and I quickly navigated my device to read the message in full.

"I'm heading to the store today to pick up some ingredients we're running low on. I'll be leaving the café near my school in a few minutes and was wondering if Onii-chan needed anything~ Hey! I bet thinking of my Onii-chan's needs even while hanging out with friends earns me a ton of Komachi points! Anyways, let me know!"

I found myself smiling as I read the message. Ah. Komachi, your Onii-chan is going to be very sad when you find yourself a partner to take care of instead of me. Of course, I'll have to have a long discussion with him before I allow even one date between the two of you, but I'm sure I won't have to worry about that for a few more years at least. I thought about her question for a second and then typed my own reply.

"Just greet your Onii-chan with a smile and an 'Onii-chan! I love you~' when I get home and that'll fill me up enough to skip dinner. Heh. I bet that earned me a ton of points just now."

I stared at the sent message in satisfaction for a moment before getting another message in return.

"Eugh"

I flinched a little at the heartless reply, but recovered quickly, seeing as Komachi was still being her cute self. It's ok if you don't want to too upfront with your feelings Komachi. If anything it's a little cuter when you hold back out of shyness. This thought soothed me as I slipped my phone back into my pocket and reached for my tea to take a drink. As I turned my body to grab my drink, I noticed the stares of my fellow club members. Looking at each of their expressions for a moment before speaking, I raised my eyebrows a little. "What?"

Yuigahama seemed surprise by my inquiry before making a kind of awkward smile. "You were smiling at your phone a lot Hikki. I was just wondering what might be making you so happy." She shifted her gaze downward into her lap, glancing at me in between blinks.

"Indeed, I was wondering the same. It's not often we see you express enjoyment in anything. Though I was also considering the statement I'd have to put out for the club in order to prevent us from being associated with whatever crimes you may be committing with that grin, Hiki-hentai-kun." Yukinoshita added with her arms crossed in front of her and her eyes closed in thought.

"Oi. Why does my happiness have to be associated with criminal activity? I'll have you know I have nothing on my record and plan to keep it that way as I spend my working years in the house, far away from crime." I made as much of a glare as I could against the Ice Queen's typical assault. Confident in my argument this time, I looked back forward and closed my eyes. "After all, would you trust a man with a criminal record to take care of your home while you're out working?" That should clear up the misunderstanding and also help with future ones as well. Truly a masterfully crafted piece of reasoning if I say so myself. Wanting to see the defeated face of my opponent in this cross-examination, I turned to my side again only to be met with another small smile from Yuigahama and a sigh from Yukinoshita as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Hikki…"

"Well," Yukinoshita continued, adding the slightest smile alongside her words and bringing her hand down from her face. "At least we know that he's not too far gone from his usual self. Though I still have to wonder what would warrant such a reaction from him, criminal or otherwise."

"Still on the criminal thing huh…?" I muttered while finally taking the drink from my tea cup I'd wanted earlier. Haaa, the perfect temperature. That's what makes this tea great, certainly not the brewing technique or leaf choice of the black-haired girl now staring at me… Ahem. Definitely not. After finishing my sip, I let out a soft breath in satisfaction and put my cup down while continuing the discussion at hand. "If you really must know, this particular text happened to be from my favorite little sister, Komachi. I'll also say that a message from her is the only reason you should ever see me smiling at my phone, given that she's the only who texts me that could bring a smile to my face."

Yukinoshita sighed again. "I don't know if I should be feeling glad that you care for your sister so much or pitying you for having so few people on your phone's contact list." She added while taking a drink from her own teacup. Oi. Don't act like your contact list is much longer Miss Ice Queen of Sobu.

"So she's the only one huh…" Turning back to Yuigahama, I saw that her face now resembled that of a child as they watch the ocean waves wash away their newly-built sandcastle.

Oh… right. That was a bit mean given the other person on my contact list. "W-well… maybe not the only reason. Just…mostly." I scratched my cheek awkwardly, hoping my words had at least lessened the blow of my thoughtless statement. Luckily it seemed to work as I could see a soft smile now adorning her face. With that awkwardness over and done with, the three of us returned to our previous activities with only the occasional chatter (mostly from Yuigahama) until it was time for us to head back home for the day.

I said my farewells to the two girls as they went to return the clubroom key to Hiratsuka-sensei. Yukinoshita tried to just do it herself and let Yuigahama and I head out early for the day, but Yuigahama pouted a bit and insisted on spending some time with "Yukinon" after club today. Unable to deal with the pressure, Yukinoshita gave in and agreed to go with her friend to return the key and then proceed to some café I'd never heard of. Perhaps the Ice Queen's affinity for cats made the pleading from our third member impossible to refuse. Or perhaps she more resembled a panda with that side bun of hers? Well, whatever the case it's probably better for her in the long run to interact with people outside of school and club. With these thoughts floating around my head, I stepped outside into the cold winter air. The snow had let up for now, but it was like the heavens had a backlog of snow they had to dump on us today because the yard was coated. My thanks to whoever thought of putting a cover over the bike rack so as to protect the single mode of transportation most students here could use effectively. Even so, I was going to have to be careful riding back.

I don't know how long exactly it took me to get back to my house, but it certainly felt longer than usual. I locked my bike up before stepping up to the front door and entering my home, the warmth of my abode welcoming me in from the chilly outdoors as I removed my coat and shoes. As I was putting my shoes away, I noticed that Komachi's weren't there. Guess she hasn't gotten back from shopping yet. I made my way into the living room and dropped my bag next to the couch, ready to relax, while pulling my phone out of my pocket. No new messages though. Maybe I should see if she needs help. I secretly hoped she wouldn't, both because I had faith in the independent nature of my little sister and because today's biking felt a little more draining thanks to the added time it took. Well, what kind of Onii-chan would I be if I didn't at least ask? I mused to myself as I plopped down onto the living room couch and laid back onto its armrest while typing up my check-in message.

"Just got back from club today. If you need help carrying anything or chasing away any boys, you just let your Onii-chan know and I'll rush over."

I figured making the text seem a bit humorous might make her feel less of a blow to her pride if she actually did need my help since she could just dismiss it as humoring my supposed "siscon" tendencies. I'm really not a siscon, ok? Wait, who am I trying to convince again? With my phone placed on the nearby table, I found myself once again in the company of my old companion: silence. Their calming presence somewhat amplified by the relaxed environment of my own home and the waning fatigue still lingering in me from the bike ride. Just as my eyelids fully collapsed, however, I was awoken by a slightly louder, more persistent noise from my phone than the one I'd heard earlier today. While I was now physically awake, it took my tired mind a moment to process the sound and its meaning. My phone's ringing? Oh, right. Komachi. I lazily reached over to my phone and checked the caller to confirm it was in fact my sister's name displayed on screen. I raised the phone to my ear after hitting the answer button. "Yo. Need Onii-chan's help after all, Komachi?"

"Hello? Is this Hikigaya Komachi's older brother?" My eyes were now fully open. Who is this? It's a woman for sure, but they sound much too old to be one of her friends playing a prank or something. "Hello?" The voice on the other end spoke up again, seemingly confused by my silence as my mind began booting back up.

"Ah, y-yes. I am. My name is Hikigaya Hachiman. Can I ask who you are and what you're doing with my sister's phone?" My slight irritation may have come across a bit too much there, but I was still recovering from my almost-nap and confused as to why some stranger had Komachi's phone.

"I'm a nurse here at Chiba General Hospital."

Ok, so she's a nurse…

Wait, did she just say "here"?

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you,"

I forced my upper body into an upright position, an uneasy feeling settling in my stomach. Tell me what? Why is Komachi's phone at the hospital? Is she hurt?

"There was an accident"

An accident? My brain was mostly awake at this point and it started piecing together what I was being told. Don't tell me…

"I'm afraid your sister was injured."

And there they were, the words I dreaded hearing: Komachi got hurt…?

"If you can, I think it'd be best if you came to see her yourself. She's not in the best condi-"

No. I didn't need to hear the rest of what the nurse was going to say as my phone hit the couch cushion with a thud. I didn't want to. There was no time. She's fine. I hurried back to the front door I had come through mere minutes ago. She has to be. I threw my coat on as I shoved my feet into my shoes and opened the door. The now below-freezing temperature barely registering with me as I rushed over to my bike to push it out onto the sidewalk and begin pedaling towards the hospital as fast as I could. I'm sure she's fine.

The ride over was a blur, my mind preoccupied with all kinds of worries, and before I knew it I was pushing through the hospital's front door into the reception area. I took a quick look around and found a man sitting behind a desk at standing height with a computer in front of him. I rushed over to ask for Hikigaya Komachi and after clacking away at his keyboard with impressive speed, the receptionist looked up at me briefly. What is it? What's that look? It's oddly familiar, but- my thoughts were interrupted by the receptionist saying the room number and pointing down an adjacent hallway. I thanked him with a small bow and moved as quickly as possible through the hallway he pointed to, desperately searching for the room number he'd given.

As the numbers I was seeing got closer and closer to the one the receptionist had given to me, I looked ahead to see a woman in a nurse's uniform standing next to one of the doors with a clipboard and pen in her hands. That's about where Komachi's room should be. Sure enough, when I looked at the plaque for the door the woman was standing next to, the number on it matched the one the one I was given. As I reached for the door handle, however, the nurse stepped towards me.

"Hikigaya Hachiman?" I turned to meet the nurse's gaze after she called out to me. That voice sounds familiar. "I'll take that look as a yes." The woman reached into one of the pockets of her uniform and pulled out a small rectangular object. "We talked on the phone, I just wanted to give this back to you." She held out the object in the palm of her hand, giving me a better look at it. Komachi's phone. "I apologize if I confused you earlier. Normally we'd use a hospital phone to contact whoever's listed on her file, but when we saw the unread message on her phone, I was told to call it, since the sender was listed as 'Onii-chan'." So she's the one that called me, but…I took the device into my own hand, carefully holding it and looking it over before turning back up to the woman.

"This is her room, right? I want to see her." I put the phone into the pocket where I usually kept my own, seeing as I had left mine on the couch. The woman looked at me for a second, her eyes just slightly widening at my request before turning downward, a look of unease becoming more apparent on her face. There it is again. That face. Like they're uncomfortable looking at me, but not in the way I'm used to… Where have I seen it before?

The nurse looked back up towards me and opened her mouth to speak, but the door behind her opened, drawing our attention. Two people in hospital uniforms walked out and past us to head down the hallway. They paid the nurse and I no mind as they walked away, but seeing their tired faces, they might just not have registered us in their minds. Seeing my chance to enter the room, I maneuvered around the nurse and through the doorway. The first person to catch my attention was another man in the room, presumably a doctor based on his uniform, who looked me over, probably a little surprised by me rushing in, before slowly turning his head back to where it was. What's with you people and that face? Ignoring him for now, I followed his vision to the bed he was standing over. As soon as my eyes landed on it though, my breath got caught in my throat. That uneasy feeling that had appeared in my stomach during the phone call reasserted its presence as I felt the blood in my face draining away.

Then it hit me. The face I'd seen on the receptionist, the nurse, and now the doctor. I'd seen it once before after Hayama had dragged me along on the "double date" with Orimoto and we were left alone. It was a face that had disgusted me then and still did now, but while I was disgusted by its owner back then, now I was disgusted by its cause. Because in front of me was a person who was a little too small for the bed they were in. A few different wires and tubes strapped to both of their arms and a mask covering the majority of their face. Their head and right leg were wrapped in bandages and while I could hear their breathing, it was barely audible next to the sound of air being pumped through the mask and the various other noises being made by all the machinery that surrounded them. Their eyes, one of the few things not covered by anything, were closed, though even they showed scratches.

Pity… They were looking at me with pity.

As this realization worked its way into my head, I made one other conclusion. It was the only logical one, given everything that had happened so far. The phone, the room number, the small figure on the bed, their faces; it all added up to one thing. And as much as I hated it in this moment and as much as I wished it wasn't true, I was a monster of logic and as such, I had to face my own conclusion as it lay before me.

"Komachi…?"

I was now seated next to the bed after listening to the doctor for who knows how long. My arms folded in front of me as I lay my head on them and my eyes locked onto my sister's resting face. Both he and the nurse had left just a little while ago, leaving me alone with Komachi.

The doctor had begun by explaining what was reported to him about the incident itself. Komachi had been hit by a car in the intersection in front of a convenience store. The street name he said was one I was familiar with, given its proximity to our home. Komachi had stopped there before to pick up snacks for the two of us and while it was a little off-track from the route she would've been on to get home, it wasn't surprising to hear she'd gone anyway. A witness that was walking on an adjacent sidewalk said they heard screeching that indicated the driver at least tried to stop, but the snowy road probably didn't allow for them to do soon enough. Despite the attempted braking, however, the driver fled the scene, most likely in a mix of panic and fear from having just hit someone in the dark, snow-covered streets. After that, the doctor continued on to explain Komachi's exact condition. I didn't understand most of what he said, both because I wasn't familiar with the terminology and because I was still feeling sick from simply seeing Komachi in this state, but I did understand that it wasn't good. I asked if there was anything I could do for her. I could give blood, organs, anything, if it meant increasing her chances. He just shook his head, at which point I put my own head down and tuned him out. That was the only question I had that mattered.

All this time in the club. Helping people I either didn't know or didn't like with their problems. All those times I took the fall so that they could continue on with what they wanted. And yet now, in the one case where my own wants are in play, the one case where the person in need is the one person I actually care about, the one case where I'm sure even Yukinoshita and Yuigahama could forgive me for sacrificing myself just one more time, I can't. Normally I might curse the gods of romantic comedy for having another laugh at me, but this time I wanted to curse every god in existence on the slight chance this truly was another joke at my expense. I knew better though. It's not really their fault. A careless driver and poor weather are what put her in this bed. But she was out there in the first place to get groceries for us. I looked towards her hand, a needle taped into the top of it with a heart rate monitor stuck on one of her fingers, and reached out to put my own over it. Maybe if I'd-

My thoughts halted in place as I felt movement in my hand that wasn't my own. I raised my head to get a better look at the hand and confirm I wasn't imagining things. After what felt like the longest second of my life, I saw another twitch. Realizing what was happening I quickly turned towards Komachi's face again to see subtle movements beneath her closed eyelids.

"Komachi?" Her brow furrowed a little at my words and her eyelids began to move more noticeably, as if she was struggling to get them open. "Don't worry about opening your eyes, just squeeze your hand if you can hear me." Her eyelids ceased their movement, but soon I felt another twitch in her hand, this time from all of her fingers. I let out a shaky sigh upon feeling the sensation. A low groan came out from her and I turned to see her eyes struggling again and her lips parting slightly. "Oi, what did I just say." I gently laid one of my hands on her head, hoping to relax her. "Sick girls need to rest. No straining yourself or else your Onii-chan's going to worry." I was trying to maintain my usual "Onii-chan" demeanor, but my voice was still shaky from the huge relief of seeing her move at all. "Onii-chan was very worried. Don't you know you should look for cars before crossing? Especially in this weather." But she was out there for the two of us. She was out there because she was going to cook for us; for me. I winced at my own thoughts and looked away from Komachi, feeling incredible guilt wash over me. She's been doing it for years and I just let her because it was easier for me. I retracted my hand from her head and brought it to my own forehead as my ears started ringing a little from the wave of frustration now taking hold of me. Another twitch brought me back from my own thoughts and I turned to Komachi again, but this time she was looking back at me.

It was hard to make out beneath the clear mask placed over her face, but I could definitely see her clips curled at their ends. She's smiling? I opened my mouth to tell her to relax again, but before I could say anything, she opened her own. "Onii… chan" Her voice was rough and slow. Hearing it was a bit painful, but I couldn't respond or tell her to stop once she called out to me. Seeing my mouth close, her smile grew a little bigger and her lips parted once more. "I love you".

What's she saying now all of a sudden? I already know that. We're family, we take care of each other. Just like she takes care of me…Then I remembered the text exchange we'd had during my club hours and the silly request I'd made. "Idiot. You're saying that now of all times?" I quietly laughed to myself and lowered my head hoping to hold back the tears forming in my eyes. That's how she's been for these past few years though, taking care of her Onii-chan and doing cute things here and there in the pursuit of more "Komachi points". Maybe it's time I worked harder to earn more Hachiman points? I tightened my grip on Komachi's hand a little as the ringing in my ears grew much louder to the point of changing pitch. That's right. I'm perfectly capable of earning my own points. I can do better. Much better. I could feel a smile forming on my face with this newfound resolve, but the ringing was still there.

"I'm sorry Komachi. It's partly my fault you're here in the first place, so Onii-chan is going to do better from now on." My smile now fully formed into one of confidence and my tears successfully driven back, I opened my eyes and looked back up at her. "And of course, your Onii-chan also-" I cut myself off, being a little surprised at Komachi's current expression. Her smile had disappeared and she was now looking down to my side with a stare that indicated no particular emotion. "Komachi?" No response, not even a twitch in her face or fingers. "Hey, Komachi." I put my hand on her shoulder to get her to look at me, but still there was nothing. I looked around to see what she might be staring at, but instead one of the nearby machines caught my eye. Now that I was facing it, I could tell that this machine, in fact, was the source of the louder ringing that had started a while ago, but upon closer inspection I realized it was the one machine I shouldn't be hearing a solid ringing from. Her heartrate. I turned back to Komachi and saw her still holding the same expression: no moving, no blinking, no sign of life.

"Komachi…" The tears I thought I'd driven back earlier broke through again.

No…

Not now.

"Komachi!" My face twisted as the tears now streamed across my cheeks.

Please. Don't let it end now.

I have so much to make right.

"KOMACHI!" I reached out and held her head to my shoulder while I cried into hers.

I didn't even get to say it back.

She can't leave now. She can't leave ever, because…

"I love you too, Komachi."

A/N: So yeah, you can see why having this kind of story floating around may have kept me up at night (Seriously, didn't conk out until 5 AM. Thank god it's the holidays.) As I said in the notes at the top, I did read another fic that sort of inspired this, but I didn't know what to actually write until I read a different fic later.

Anyways, I'll stop being so cryptic and say that I read "A Reason to Live" by GabrielHaruba. I remember enjoying the first few chapters that were spent exploring how Hachiman might deal with such a mental blow, but it eventually devolved into a weird alt. universe HachiYuki fic (Which, personally, is a ship I'm not into in the first place when it comes to fanfics.) and lost all of its interesting components. But while I'll admit this story did put the idea of a "Komachi dies" story into my head, I had no idea what could be done better nor did I have a drive to actually write it all out since I had never done this before. That's where the second fic that I'm actually still in the process of reading came into play, but talking about that one would give away a bit more about the direction of this story than I'd like to at this point.

So there you have it! I do hope you enjoyed the story overall even if you have some critiques for it and if you do, I encourage you to leave them in the reviews so that I can get better at this and you can get a better product. I do have a plan for next chapter, but ideally I'd want to see at least a little feedback on this before I get into any serious writing on the next one.

Until then folks!