It is I, Crazyman! Back once with a new story to entertain people once again!

First things first, this story is mostly going to be about Roman if that wasn't already obvious from the summary. The big difference here is that Roman is very much younger than he is on the show (17 years to be exact) and he gets to go to Beacon with our beloved cast of characters that is RWBY and JNPR.

I judt thought of this story like what, two weeks ago? Myy schedule was kinda screwed which held me back on releasing this. But now that I have enough time on my hands I can finally afford to make this story.

Anyways, enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth and Monty Oum.

Story is mine.

Story Title: Jerk Of All Trades

Rating: T

Genre: Adventure/Friendship

Summary: Roman Torchwick was definitely a rising star in the Criminal Underworld. Being one of the youngest criminals around with a great sense of fashion and a good record of stealing, it didn't take too long to get his name around the city. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Being caught by a little girl wasn't in his bucket list, much less attending Beacon Academy.

Caught By Heroes

It was already nighttime in the city of Vale. Most citizens are either going home or already asleep. Which meant there weren't that much people around, seeing the few people roaming around the streets.

Which meant it was the perfect time to initiate his plan.

Being recruited by some old woman he didn't know anything about, you'd think he'd be careful about creating a partnership with some stranger. But he knew the lady was dangerous. Roman Torchwick; despite being young, was not stupid. All those other kids playing hero and 'saving the world', those were idiots. Honestly; the world's already a messed up place, it doesn't need teenagers' help to fix it. What the world needed were people like him; knowledgeable, smart, and most importantly - realistic.

Hunters were nothing more than naive morons, end of story.

Walking towards his destination, Roman couldn't help but smirk at the sight of random people being afraid of him. They were doomed to die. They feared him, Grimm ate people filled with negative emotions. With the amount of negative emotions these people experience everyday - be it fear, anger or something similar, it was a miracle Vale was still standing.

He took a look at the men Junior gave him; who were all wearing smirks just like him. Even if Junior supplied him with his best men, Roman knew that the idiots would snitch him out if given the chance.

Which goes to show how he didn't need a large group of people to help him. He can take care of business himself as a matter of fact. Besides, the only reason he got these idiots was through his boss.

His Boss? Oh she was nobody important. Sticking to the shadows like some paranoid old lady, she was rather unknown to the public. Stupid old hag wanted a crap-ton dust and wouldn't even take 'no' for an answer. He was already doing fine on his own without the old hag complaining in his ear 24/7, she just had to ruin it.

He couldn't complain though; since he'd meet death if he does, which made it all the more infuriating.

Few seconds have passed before Roman finally reached the target. "'From Dust 'Till Dawn'? What kind of senile old man would create a name like that?"

Entering the shop with the goons he's been given, he was met face-to-face with an old man who seemed to be in his two-thousand and forties. Seriously, the amount wrinkles on his face was unbelievable.

"Hey there gramps, nice dust shop you have here." Roman smirked before looking at one of his henchmen and nodded. Said henchman then pointed a gun at the old man's face, forcing him to raise his arms in submission. "You wouldn't mind if I take something from here, right?"

The old man shivered at the sight of him, scaring the life of them had always been the best part of the job. "Please! Just take all of my Lien and leave!"

"Ehehe- no." He blew a gust of smoke on the shopkeeper's face; making him cough after inhaling the contents. Roman hopped over the counter and sat cross-legged on the counter. "Listen to me you old ass, I'm the one that makes the orders here. I ain't leaving 'cause you told me to, and I ain't leaving after getting your worthless Lien. Now make use of that old ass of yours and give me your Dust."

Nodding furiously, the old man got to work. Roman smiled in contentment before looking back at his henchmen; who were just standing like statues. "Don't you respect your elders? Help him get the dust, lazy asses!"

"But you're younger-"

"And I'm better than you!" He growled. How incompetent were these fools? "Time is money. Money means paycheck. Paycheck means Lien. And Lien means you could pay your broken down, run-of-the-mill apartment bills. Now get moving."

He heard the goons grumbling before dispersing. Roman sighed at the sight, he needed to have a well-mannered talk with Junior once he was done with the job.

Pulling out Melodic Cudgel from his hip, Roman then wiped the weapon of any dust and dirt that it might have garnered with recent use. Your weapons needed to be as clean as you, after all. Speaking of dust, his cane was already running out.

He was already stealing, right? Might as well steal some ammo. Maybe add in a little extra just in case.

Once finished stealing all the dust he needed, he saw one of his men fly out the window like a pervert who peeped in the women's bathroom. A little girl in red followed him as well. Looking out the window, he saw someone he will deem as 'Little Red' posing outside with a huge gardening tool on her hands.

"Please tell me that's a young looking twenty-one year-old..." He grumbled. He would kill Junior for giving him men who can't even beat an Oum-damn kid. Roman noticed all of his henchmen looking at the girl; tense at the sight of her. "What the hell are you waiting for?! Oum's resurrection? Kill her!"

So they did. Let him add the word 'try' in there. They 'tried' to kill the girl; but upon realizing they were absolutely useless in combat, Little Red just kicked their asses like she was watering the flowers. The kid was all over the place, he barely managed to follow the thing. She was on the left, she was on the right, next thing you'll know is that she somehow made it to Vacuo.

She finished the encounter by bringing one of his henchmen into the air and throwing it near Roman.

"I don't know how you made my day worse, but you did." Roman lightly kicked the fallen man near him; a groan coming out of the poor bastard. Walking up to Little Red, he readied Melodic Cudgel from any incoming attacks. "Well, I must say I'm rather impressed Red. Not everyday you see someone beat my extremely useless underlings. Maybe a cookie as a reward for your bravery against these fools."

When he noticed Red not doing anything and staring, he took this opportunity to raise his cane and aim it at the girl's face.

"Great as you may be, I'm still better than you."

Shooting fire dust at someone wasn't what kids would call 'very nice', but he could have fun with his new playmate at a later designated time. Running towards the nearest ladder he could find, he moved with the speed and effciency of a ninja running for their lives. Hearing the police sirens from below also helped him speed up.

Roman finally reached to the top of the building and took the chance to breathe. He knew Red was still chasing him, but it was better to calm himself down before facing her yet again. As predicted, she came flying in the skies like some kind of Deathstalker and landed on the rooftop. "Hey!"

"Oh hello there once again, Little Red! Didn't see you to suddenly come flying in the air like a stupid crow." He saw her face falter before getting angry. What? Did she have a bad history with birds or something? "You're persistent, aren't you? But unfortunately, this is the part where I make my great escape."

As if on cue, an airship appeared right behind him. Seeing the door to the airship open, he used his chance to quickly board the vehicle. Facing Red with his cane in tow, he said his final words before making his departure.

"End of the line, Red!" He smirked before throwing a red dust crystal in front of her, shooting a bullet at the shard to make it explode.

Roman smirked after he saw the girl in front if him being covered in smoke. Aura or not, there was absolutely no way anyone would be able to survive an explosion like that. His smile soon faded when he saw an older blonde woman with a glyph instead of an unconscious girl.

Oh my Oum, you have got to be kidding!

The old hag shot multiple laser beams at the airship, making the thing unstable to ride. Roman was skilled at dealing with thugs that were stronger than him, all he needed to do was make them angry and make them lose their focus. But when you're standing inside an airship that seemingly about to crash, you don't much of a choice apart from running away.

"Tch. The old hag can handle this." Running up to the Pilot's seat as fast as he can, he fully expected for his Boss to be driving the airship. "We've got a huntr- Who the hell are you?!"

Instead of his Boss, he saw one of Junior's goons driving the airship.

"Where the hell's the dust hag?!" Roman shouted. He didn't have much time on his hands due to the barrage of attacks on the airship, but he'd rather get an explaination out of the fool instead of being left in the dark. "I thought the plan was that she'll be driving?!"

"She said that it's better to leave someone who was a lower rank to drive instead!" The Pilot quickly explained in one short breath. "She said she was confident in you not being caught anyways!"

"Was she confident that I can fight two Oumdamn people while on a dying plane!?" He sarcastically remarked before seeing dark clouds above them. "What the hell...?"

Shards of ice rained down on the already busted airship. He was lucky to avoid one that was coming towards him, the pilot didn't have much luck on his end. Roman heard an explosion outside soon after, one of the wings most likely exploded after suffering heavy damage from the shards. Red lights flashed all around the airship as it slowly came tumbling down to Remnant.

Having no more escape routes, he knew he was going to get caught once the plane crashes. Taking out a cigarette and his lighter, Roman said his final words.

"Eh, might as well." He tried igniting the lighter, only to realize it not working. "Oh, you have got to be fu-"

XxXxX

"Roman Torchwick." The blonde old hag from earlier placed a bunch of files on the desk. The hag had a whip; or riding crop, or whatever you call that dominatrix thing she was holding. "One of Vale's rising criminals with a proficient escape record and a condescending attitude, it's a miracle for you to be even roaming around the streets. Have you ever thought of that?"

"Of course I have!" He smirked. If it weren't for the handcuffs that was tied onto his chair, he would've added hand gestures that were supposed to be considered 'rude'. "And I say that I deserve every little bit of my freedom!"

The riding crop smacked the table with intent to kill, effectively surprising Roman in the process. "Geez! Watch where you're aiming that thing, lady!"

"Do you honestly think this is some kind of joke?!" She smashed her hands on the table; her eyes glaring at the criminal furiously. "You should be in jail right now! If it weren't for you being so young, you would've been put into a solitary cell in Atlas!"

Not gonna lie, he was genuinely surprised at the sudden attitude change from the woman. "Guess it's that time of the month, huh...?"

"You little-"

"Compose yourself, Glynda." A calm voice entered the room. The man was one of many faces he could recognize with just a single glance. "We don't want to get in anymore trouble now, do we? The paperwork is already enough."

Glynda hesitantly looked at Roman before saying her apologies. Although he didn't miss the final glare the woman sent him. Once the blonde had left and took her place on the side of the room, the grey-haired man then took the seat right across him and placed a mug on the table. "Roman Torchwick-"

"-One of Vale's rising criminals and - yada yada yada, how great I am." Roman cut off, making fun of the old hag's earlier remarks. Seriously, he didn't another introduction of himself from someone else. "Look, I don't know what your deal is. But I promise I won't bother you anymore if you just uncuff me ang give me a fifteen second headstart to escape."

"That would be a generous offer, but I'm afraid that I must decline." Humor was not evident on the man's face, seeing as he didn't even move his facial expression. "You look quite young in comparison to other criminals I have seen, is there a chance that you actually are as young as you look?"

"I'm certainly much younger than you if that's what you're asking." Roman chuckled before leaning back on his chair. "Why? Already have aging problems?"

Instead of responding, the grey-haired man just held a large scroll on his hands and played multiple videos of him robbing different dust shops. The first few videos had him stealing alone; but the most recent one with Little Red, had men in suits surrounding him.

"I must say that you're quite impressive regarding showing off your...abilities." The video then played Roman sticking his tongue out while holding up a middle finger. "But I have to ask. You were already doing fine by yourself when robbing stores; was there any reason why you decided to get partners to help you? Especially ones that manage to provide you airships?"

Roman smirked as the man kept his gaze on him. He wanted information, right? It didn't have to be nescessarily true, as long as it was information. "Well, I was getting big in the Underworld. Might as well hire goons to help me do all the work, right."

"And the airships?" Of course he wanted an answer to that.

"It's registered! I even have the legal papers on the airship, though they were also burnt with the airship..." He lied. Why wouldn't he? He was a gentleman, not a snitch. "Well, it was nice talking with you guys. But I have a flight to catch. Now if you would kindly take away my handcuffs, I-"

"Do you know who I am, young man?" Little as it may be, Roman could feel the anger on the man's voice.

He grinned with glaring eyes before answering. "Professor Ozpin, who else?"

Ozpin took a sip from his mug before continuing, slightly calming himself down in the process. "Correct. Do you know what I'm about to do to you?"

"Hopefully not not kill or maim me..."

"Don't worry, young man. I'm not the type to do that." He simply stared at him, no longer was the glare that he was given earlier. "Instead, I'm going to pull a couple of string and have you enter my school."

"What?!" If he was being honest, that was not the answer he was thinking of. Being brought to Atlas and staying there, being imprisoned for life, being publicly executed for Oum's sake! Going to a hunter school was the last thing in his mind.

Even the blonde old had seemed to agree with him. "B-But Professor Ozpin! Do you know what would happen if we let a criminal like him in our school? Imagine all the trouble he would cause!"

"Yeah, old man! Imagine all the trouble I would cause!"

"I'll handle all the paperwork Glynda, just get him in the school." The man gave a little laugh at the reactions of both Glynda and Roman. He then looked at the young boy in front of him. "As for you, I can see the potential within you. You're just using it in all the wrong ways, child. Come with us, we will help steer you into the right path instead of leeting you become a petty theif with exceptional skills."

The cane-wielder growled at the last statement. "I'll never become a hunter, even if it kills me."

"Oh? And why is that?" From an outsider's perspective, Ozpin was simply staring at Roman quietly. But to him, he was challenging him. He was slowly getting infuriated with the headmaster due to the look he was giving him. He wanted to fight, but he was unable to.

"...It ain't your business." He grumbled.

"Understandable." Ozpin simply acknowledged Roman clear uninterest in communicating information with him. Getting up from his chair, he then prepared to leave the room alongside Glynda. "Thank you for your time and cooperation, Mister Torchwick. You may not want to be a hero today, but you will change soon with time."

Roman glared at Ozpin; who had a final parting message before leaving.

"I will make sure of it."

And done.

Okay. Let's talk about changes here. Mainly Roman. I tried to correlate his attitude with his age, which meant that he had to change a bit from 'Gentleman Criminal' to 'Skilled Punk'. Obviously, Roman isn't as strong as some characters now that he's much younger and less experienced, but that doesn't mean he can't stand toe-to-toe with higher leveled people.

I think I captured Roman's character to some extent, but felt like I was missing something. He only had 20 minutes of screentime after all. So if you see something that I'm missing with the character, please point it out for me.

I'm not sure about shipping though. That will come in time, but it's more of a secondary thing rather than the selling point of this story.

Reviews are love. Although, it's not as lovely as cookies and pancakes. The review can be a compliment, complaint, suggestion, and/or criticism.

Anyways, that's all for now and I will see you in the next one.

Crazyman out.

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