Under and Over Chapter 1
From her unit, Kate scrutinizes the heavily armed guard at the door of the building where she suspects Ryan and Esposito are prisoners. "If he sees cops approaching they'll take our guys out. And if I approach as a cop, he could take me out too. I'm willing to hear crazy ideas."
"Good," Castle replies, "because I've got one. But we're going to have to put on a good show. Do you think you can convincingly pretend that you're attracted to me? And if it helps, you'll also be pretending that you're plastered."
"The drunk part I can handle."
"Well for the attraction part, you'll have to do your best. This guy has to believe we're so into each other that we're oblivious to the rest of the world," Rick explains.
"You shouldn't have trouble convincing anyone that you're oblivious," Kate taunts. "But I guess we've got no choice." Clumsily exiting her unit, Kate stumbles into Castle's arms. Even through their coats, she can feel the warmth of his body as he supports her against his side. With inebriated laughter, they make their way toward the guard. Eying them suspiciously, he moves in their direction. "He's not buying it, Castle," Kate whispers, a soused grin still on her lips.
As Kate reaches for her gun, Castle's large hands flank the sides of her face and he pulls her mouth toward his. Arousal explodes in Kate's body as she pulls back for a split second to stare at the man she'd avoided completely seeing. They come together again, as Kate struggles for deeper contact. Slowly a smile lights the approaching goon's face and he begins to turn away. Forcing herself from Castle, Kate launches an adrenaline-strengthened kick. Her target falls unconscious to the ground.
Rick stares at Kate in wonder. "That was amazing! I mean the way you took him down, was amazing."
Kate grabs the guard's rifle. "We may need this." She hands Castle her Glock. "And you may need this. Let's go."
Rick fingers his lips where the aura of Kate's kiss still remains. "Right."
Kate cautiously leads the way inside and up some stairs to look down on more armed men watching while tall blue-eyed hitman, Hal Lockwood, plunges Ryan's head beneath freezing water. A tightly bound Esposito is forced to watch. Yelling "Police, drop your weapons," Kate brings her rifle to bear as a henchman squeezes off a shot.
Kate's aim is better, but the roar of gunfire still fills the air as Kate and Rick take out as many attackers as they can. Kate drops her now empty rifle, and from above, Rick tosses her the Glock with its few remaining rounds. While she's aiming at the last of the guards, Rick sees Ryan's torturer draw a bead on her. Rick drops from his perch, knocking Lockwood to the floor. As if acting on its own, his fist finds the downed man's mouth over and over, until the icy eyes close in a bloody face.
Kate rushes to Castle while he's still hunched over his unconscious opponent. "Are you all right?"
He looks up grinning. "Never better."
The bandage the medic wraps around Castle's swollen knuckles is too tight, feeling worse than nothing at all. Sitting in the back of an ambulance, Castle unwraps it. Kate climbs in and takes a seat opposite him. "How's the hand?"
"Excruciating," Castle admits. Kate carefully rewraps the bandage, tucking in the end. "Thank you, that's better."
"Thank you," Kate replies, "for having my back in there."
"Always," Castle promises.
Kate gazes at him. "You always do, don't you?"
"When you let me. Kate, sometimes you remind me of Alexis as a toddler. When it was raining, it could take her an hour to get her boots on because she wouldn't let anyone help her. You can be like that, Kate. You won't let anyone in, even to help you. But tonight you let me in."
"I had no choice."
"Maybe. Up to a point you were merely a cop playing a role to save her comrades, but that changed, didn't it? Somewhere in the middle of our kiss, I felt it change. And I'm willing to bet you felt it too."
"Castle, I can't talk about that with you now," Kate insists.
"Why not?" Castle queries.
"Well, for one thing, I'm with Josh."
"And until a week ago I was with Gina. But it didn't work. It never worked. I asked you to spend time with me first, Kate. And the only reason I turned back to her was you were going off to a beach house with Demming. And before that, you were with that fed, who if I'm not mistaken very much wanted you back. And Josh is hardly around. He sure as hell wasn't while you were falling apart after the debacle with Vulcan Simmons. That relationship isn't working for you either. You've gone through a string of partners you didn't love. And I did the same thing with Meredith, Gina, and a damn parade of supermodels. You and I haven't even slept together. But you've touched my heart in a way that no other woman has. And after what I felt today, I'm guessing that it touched you too. Kate, you could have died today. We both could have died today – and not for the first time. The walls we've built around ourselves aren't protecting us, they're imprisoning us. Some bricks just fell. Maybe now we can knock more of them loose."
Kate swipes at moisture welling unbidden in her eyes. "Castle, I can't go any further with you until I talk to Josh. It wouldn't be fair."
"You're right. It wouldn't. So talk to him – if you can find him. I'm not going anywhere, Kate, except maybe the drugstore. Ow!"
"Cold packs, lots of cold packs," Kate counsels.
Kate slides across the well-worn upholstery of a booth in a familiar diner. She looks up as the bell over the door signals another arrival. Jim Beckett takes the seat across from her. "What's going on, Katie? I don't remember the last time you called me on the spur of the moment to have lunch."
"Dad, I wish I knew what's going on. I'm confused."
"About Castle?"
"How did you know?"
Jim takes his daughter's hand. "Lawyers are trained to listen, Katie, and that's what I've been doing. And for the last three years, you've talked about Richard Castle more than any other subject, including your various boyfriends and your homicide cases. And the way you complained about him is the way you complained about the boys on the schoolyard. You used to hit them to avoid admitting you liked them. But that was kid stuff. I take it Mr. Castle is more than kid stuff now."
"He is, Dad, and I don't know what to do."
"You know what your mother would have said."
"To follow my heart. And she adored Castle's books. I think she would have adored the man even more."
"I think she would have," Jim agrees. "So what's stopping you?"
"I'm scared. If I open myself up to him, he'll see things I've never allowed anyone to see. And he may not like them."
"Since when have you let being scared stop you from doing anything? Look, Katie. When your mother was killed, it nearly destroyed me. You know that better than anyone. But if I had it all to do over again, I'd still be with her for however long God granted us. True love is more precious than anything else in this world. If you think you might find it with Castle, don't let fear stop you. You might not get another chance."