Title: the right answer at the perfect time
Prompt: connected feelings
Summary: Leaving was his choice. But there are times when he is overcome with paranoia that he might lose her.
Author's Notes: Nothing. Just wanna say this is my first time joining! happy ssmonth peeps!
Leaving was his choice. He knows. Sasuke knew how he risked everything—his chance to live in Konoha permanently, peacefully, his chance to watch his daughter grow up, his chance to see his family, his wife, his chance to wake up everyday with them and eat breakfast together, and his chance to see personally the future his brother died to establish, and the future he works hard for to maintain.
Though despite this obvious fact, Sasuke can't help but feel every once in a while a pang of regret, and imagine how his life would've been if he didn't leave. Will he feel joy everyday instead of this painful emptiness he so hardly tries to keep? Will he never miss a moment in his life with his family? Will he have every memory kept in his mind, never missing a single time?
He sighs, unable to stop the onslaught of thoughts of what-could-have-been. He's had many experiences with these dwelling thoughts of what-ifs that surely leads to him craving home every single time it strikes.
He loves his family. From the bottom of his heart, to the stars and back, or to whatever metaphorical and exaggerated expression there might be to compare his unconditional love for the future he built with them. And Sasuke knows, they are very well the reason why he's here right now—away from home in the midst of unpredictable danger, risking his life every day in order to secure protection for the home he now treasures so very much.
This is the thought he repeats in his head like a mantra every time he gets consumed by regret and the tempting imagination of an alternate reality he could've been living in.
Sasuke knows—very well knows—that his girls are protected despite his absence beside them. He trusts Naruto, that he'll do everything in his power to protect the village, and honor his duty. Even so, if Naruto isn't there, he knows Sakura and Sarada can handle themselves just fine.
Sarada's one of the best genin shinobis in Konoha, with shuriken skills that Sasuke didn't posses when he was at her age. She is an Uchiha, and she takes that title well and acts her part. His daughter constantly craves knowledge, and craves something new. Curiosity has always been with her little girl. From simple, trivial things, to complicated topics that aren't normally in the interest range of children like her. And to be completely honest, her daughter already surpassed him when he was at the same age as her, with so many tricks up her sleeve.
Sasuke takes smug pride in this. Every time he sees improvement within Sarada, Sasuke has this odd urge to walk around the village, even scream from the top of the Hokage building and tell everyone how good and amazing his daughter is.
But of course, that's unlikely of him and therefore, he swears will never happen.
His wife, on the other hand, isn't someone to be underestimated and to be messed with easily. Sasuke personally knows the terrifying wrath of what Sakura can do with her bare hands—even fears it at times when he knows she isn't in the mood. She was no longer the naïve little girl that kept chasing him. She was now the woman behind him, whom he grew to love so, so hard and unconditionally. Their bond was different, it was far different from the friendship that he shares towards many of his colleagues, and different from the sense of camaraderie that he has with people.
She was his light, and the love of his life. The girl who tirelessly waited for him and never gave up on him. He treasures her so much like a precious diamond, she's irreplaceable, she's his endgame and the person he'll never get tired of loving.
Sasuke suddenly remembers the time where he almost lost her. And how she was eyed by everyone in the Redaku Country. He was threatened that he might lose her, that he might be stolen from her.
Will that actually ever happen? Every day he's away, he has no assurance that she'll forever be hers and won't be taken. And this scares him, more than he'll ever admit. Sure they made a vow to love each other in sickness and in health, and till death do they part. And yet, he's heard of many stories of a change of heart. Many have left and severed ties with their marriage due to problems, and the lack of attention they crave.
Sakura has never asked for anything like that. She rarely does. She's far too respectful for her own good to dwell on her wants, and prioritizes other people's needs before her. Sasuke learned this the painful way when they were together, the first few months into their relationship where everything was just starting all over again, and where they were still exploring each other—getting to know one another in a different light and perspective.
Sakura never voiced out concerns, especially if she thinks they're just petty and trivial. And Sasuke being who he is, was never better at communicating than anyone else. Sure he can defeat an enemy single-handedly, (no pun intended), but when it comes to words and confessions, he fails miserably. He did notice the times where Sakura was acting odd than usual, and he of course waited for her to speak her mind when she's ready to. But it never came, and Sasuke didn't dwell on the matter further.
He then realized what a big mistake it was to ignore, and not take the initiative. While they were fighting a bunch of bandits, and they were almost finished by tying them up, he suddenly heard a thud behind him. He didn't know that Sakura wasn't feeling well the past few days, with symptoms different and much worse than those of a fever. And she never told him this, plus she was constantly exhausted from all the traveling and work they were taking, resulting in the inevitable—collapsing from the strain and lack of proper rest and medication. They later realized that the disease she caught was almost fatal, if not for Sakura's impressive immunity.
After that incident, they both had a sit-down serious talk about the importance of communication—about how Sakura should voice out her concerns, might that be small and trivial, or critically serious. And how Sasuke should learn to take initiative and speak first if he notices something unusual.
Sasuke's thoughts however, were cut short when he heard a caw coming from above. When he looked up, he saw his hawk circling above him with a letter with it. He remembers sending a report to Naruto about recent discoveries, and expects a response.
When he finally gets the paper, he notices two letters rather than just one. From the other one were from Sakura.
Sasuke first reads the Naruto's letter, which just contained new experiments and updates about the occurrence in the village.
He then moves on to his wife's letter, which read:
Hey Sasuke-kun! How are you? It's been a while since you went home and spent some time with us. Sarada misses you! She complains every single night how you're not here to see all the new things she wants to show you. I know you're busy on your mission, but don't forget us! I hope you're eating well and resting well. Overworking yourself is bad, ok? Come home every once in a while, Sasuke-kun. Eat with us, and come sleep on a comfortable mattress here at home sometimes. Remember, we'll always be waiting for you! We'll never get tired!
Love, Sakura.
Sasuke doesn't even stop the smile that made its way to his lips. Sometimes, all the answers he craves come right in the perfect moment. Just when he was fearing that he might lose his wife, her letter comes telling him that she'll never get tire and will always be there for him.
He suddenly thinks that his earlier thoughts were unreasonable, and laughs at how pathetic it is.
Sasuke stands up, finally, from his supposed short break, and continues his mission.
What was he thinking earlier? Whatever his fears was, he now knows the answer.
Their feelings are definitely connected.