AN: I don't own any of the characters. yadda yada yadda. I just do this for funzies. I'm such a dork you guys. I have covid and I could be doing work while I quarantine, but instead...I'm addictively writing fanfic. Hit me up with a favorite SVU scene comment in the reviews. Mine favorite thing to do right now is to watch the episode where Liv births Eli, and then go directly to The Return of the Prodigal's Son. AH! Do it. You won't regret it. You get all the feels!
Anyway. Enjoy.
Chapter One: Soulmates
Olivia was putting the final touches of her makeup on when Noah came into the bathroom.
"Hey mom, do you believe in soulmates?"
"Uh-oh, have you been watching Lifetime TV again?"
"No, I think I have a soulmate. And I think I met him at Alex's birthday party last week. And I was PMing him, and he and I…we just get eachout. We finish each others-"
"Sandwiches."
"Mom, I'm serious. No frozen jokes. It's weird how much we know each other and yet we just met!"
Olivia kissed Noah on the forehead. "You're cute."
"You didn't answer the question."
She stopped to put her high heels on and glanced over at the picture she had of her and Elliot on a side table in the living room.
"I suppose, I…believe in soulmates. But I also think there is more than one person that you can be with in one lifetime."
"Have you met your soulmate?"
She blushed a little bit and changed the subject with a playful warm laugh. "Ah…You, Noah Benson, are my soulmate."
"You're deflecting the subject, which means you have met your soulmate!"
She grabbed him and tickled him into the couch. "Why are you so smart?"
He laughed in hysterics and threw a pillow at her. "Why haven't you married your soulmate yet?"
"Because then I'd have to share you," she laughed and threw the pillow back at him.
They both let out an ending giggle and fell to the couch with smiles on their faces.
"Seriously, though, you can't ignore a soulmate, Mom. They just keep coming back," Noah sighed.
"Oh to be young and in love again. I think my soulmate lost his way."
"Hmmmm, he could be trapped in an anti-parellel universe."
Olivia stood up and fixed her now messy dress. "Yeah…it must be something like that."
Noah started jumping on the couch and doing arabesques "Because Mom, you're hot. And smart. And you're just the best person in the whole world. So if you find your soulmate, then you can be happy."
She smiled at him. "You are the sweetest kid in the whole world. And I am happy. So don't you fret."
"Okay, lover boy," Lucy said as she entered with a big bowl of popcorn. "Let's pick out a movie and let your mom go out on this date already. Who knows maybe this one is her soulmate."
"Okaaaay, everybody," Olivia groaned. "Enough with the cliche talk, it's way too intense for me to handle and I haven't even had a drink yet. A simple 'have a fun night' response will suffice."
She kissed Noah one last time and he gave her a big hug.
"Have a fun night, Mom. I hope you find your soulmate tonight."
"Uh huh," she ignored. "Don't stay up too late."
SCENE
Elliot and Kathleen helped his mother out of an Uber car a block away from the Winter Garden Theater. Elliot was still wearing his clothes from work, but he dressed it up with a vest and a brown pair of polished Oxford shoes. Kathleen and Bernie were in their finest evening dresses.
"Oh Elliot," Bernie sighed. "I just love the lights of Times Square. What a wonderful birthday surprise."
"Anything for you, Moma," he smiled.
"Music Man is a classic, Kathleen. You are just going to love this show," she smiled, grabbing her grand-daughter's arm.
Kathleen's eyes glanced at the 10 foot picture of Hugh Jackman smiling big in mid dance. "I could watch Hugh Jackman read the phone book for 2 hours, so I'm sure I will love it."
Elliot grunted. "He better be doing more than reading a phone book for these ticket prices."
"Oh hush," Bernie replied. "You can afford it."
They all shuffled in, past the crowd and the lights, to their seats. Elliot was about to head to the men's room when he heard her laugh.
She was taking her coat off several rows ahead of them alone, but she was clearly dressed for a date. A little black dress, legs for days, flawless makeup, and handbag to match.
"I'll be back," he mumbled to Kathleen and his mother, as he made his way to Olivia.
"Hey," he smiled. "You, stocking Hugh Jackman too."
"Elliot," she nervously responded. Her eyes darted briefly to the doors in the back. "Wha…What are you doing here?"
He noticed her stiff daminer. "Bernie's birthday. It's her favorite musical. Am I interrupting girl's night?"
"Ah…," her heart sank to the pit of her stomach. Before she could answer he knew it wasn't girls night. Rafael came into sight. He was making his way toward them, slowly through the crowd.
"You're with..Barba?," his voice filled with hurt and confusion. "So I guess it is girl's night."
"Stop. I…it's not what it seems…with him and Wheatly and the trial, I mean. We worked a case, a few weeks back, and a lot of things came up," she stuttered.
"A lot of things came up…What does that mean? No. Ah…You don't have to answer that. I'm going. I have to go," he was in full shock.
"Elliot Stabler," Rafael smiled and nodded. "Fancy meeting you here. You don't seem like the theater goer type."
"I'm not." "He's not." The two, always insync detectives, simultaneously answered Barba.
Elliot cleared his throat and then pushed back his emotions and fakely smiled. "My mom's birthday."
"Ah," Barba nodded. There was a moment of awkward silence.
"Tell Bernie, Happy Birthday for me," Olivia smiled with sullen eyes. "I'll have to buy her a drink at intermission."
"Yeah," Elliot nodded, still in shock. "Don't worry about it. I didn't mean to interrupt. Have a good evening."
"You too," Barba grinned as he nodded for Olivia to take a seat.
Elliot felt like he'd just watched his whole life go bursting into flames for a second time. He sat in his seat at the end of the row vibrating from his core. Numb. The horror of it all was sending him right back into a fit of PSD.
"Dad," Kathleen broke his thoughts.
"Huh, yeah."
"You look like you just saw a ghost."
"Yeah."
"Is Olivia on a date with Wheatly's lawyer?"
"Yeah…"
Kathleen bent her head to the side to get a better view of Liv and Rafeal. "That's…really fucked up."
"It sure fuck'n is."
"Hey," Bernie barked. "Can you two be classy for just 2 hours?"
THey nodded and then went back to looking at Olivia with Barba.
Kathleen touched his hand. "You gonna be okay?"
The orchestra started and train whistles blared as the actors came on stage for the Rock Island number.
"I'm gonna get a drink."
Elliot paced the lobby, then bought a whiskey and slammed it.
"One more, please."
The bartender gave him a Music Man sippy cup and poured a few extra shots of Whiskey. "Here. You look like you're having a bad night. That ones on the house."
He nodded before heading back to his seat. "Thanks."
The first act felt like years. Elliot watched her from his seat. He couldn't see anything else but her. Everytime she moved, laughed, smiled, touched her hair, it was like a knife to his chest. He felt like he could have had a heart attack right there. Every now and again Barba would whisper something to her. His leg started to jiggle with anxiety and Kathleen lightly touched him on the knee and gave him a sideways glance. He stopped and then slammed the whiskey in his cup. It calmed him and he tried to watch the show. But it wasn't easy to forget about his shattered heart everytime Hugh started to serenade Marian the Librarian with lyrics like "What can I say dear, to make it clear, I need you badly badly badly. Loving you madly madly madly."
Intermission started and he handed Kathleen $200. "I have to go. I'm sorry. Moma, I'm sorry. I…" he paused and then lied. "I got called in. Happy Birthday. Kathleen make sure she gets to meet Hugh at the end."
He pushed through the crowd before his mother's billowing voice could stop him and he waited by the ladies room.
She rounded the corner alone and got in a long line of women all trying to use the bathroom as quickly as possible.
"Liv," he nodded for her to come talk to him.
"Elliot, I feel terrible about this."
"I'm…feeling caught off guard here," he said, searching her eyes for a logical answer. "Tell me this isn't what it looks like."
Olivia held herself an arms length away from him and stuttered out words that felt genuine inside her head, but came out of her mouth like bad excuses. "Barba and I…it just happened. It was an impromptu thing…he had an extra ticket and…"
"Mmmh…" Elliot stopped her and paced a bit searching his thoughts. He could think of a hundred different things to say to her in anger and confusion, everything from why she would date a lawyer to why Barba, who betrayed them all, to how her perfect makeup and well planned dress was anything but impromptu. She was a terrible liar. But he wasn't about to call her out tonight. As he searched for the right words he knew that he was standing in a loves lost situation.
"I don't know what to say."
"That makes two of us…" she responded.
"Then tell me I'm not crazy, Liv. That or look me in the face and tell me Kathy's letter was right and we were nothing to each other this whole time."
She sighed heavily holding back tears and frustration. "I…Elliot I don't know. I don't know what the right answer is anymore."
Her hand fell next to his, aching for him to hold it. "Rafa…was the first person after you left, who helped me find my way again. He was one of a few people who pulled me out of a dark sadness and helped me become an independent person again. He was there for me when I was making the decision to adopt Noah. He supported me through my PTSD and all of the nightmarish things surrounding that part of my life."
"You had PTSD?"
"I did."
"You never told me."
"You never ask. You never ask me anything about my life during that time because it upsets you."
"Eh…that hurt."
"Yeah, well join the club," she said with a mixture of hurt and tenderness. "Look… I realize you met Rafa on bad terms, but he's a good man…and he takes a deep interest in me…and he didn't leave me without saying good bye…and he checks all of the boxes..."
She pulled her hand away from him.
"Wait, hang on," Elliot refused to back down. "…but he did leave you. He left you and I bet you all bought him a cake and cards and he just walked away before he had to commit to anything meaningful. He helped you adopt a baby, but he left you to be a single parent for 10 years? He's been single this whole time, Liv. He had a decade to profess his love to you while he helped you find yourself, but he didn't. Why? And why now? What took him this long? He comes crawling out of the woodwork to free Richard Wheatly because he wants to profess his love to you? I at least had a good reason for leaving."
"Yeah and what was that?"
"Huh," he swallowed the fire he wanted to scream. "You gonna make me say it like this?"
She held her ground.
"Because we loved each other and it was wrong…for everyone. It was not good for any of us that we loved each other. When the job gave me that sign to leave, I had to do it…for all of us. I had to. But if I had been single… Liv, I wouldn't have wasted a moment of time. I never would have walked away from you. Ah…it doesn't even matter. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. This is the hand we were dealt, and I can't change it and I would never dare try to change your mind for you, but…Barba…," he could feel himself getting angry and he tried to stop the boiling rage under his chest. "I bet he's never even changed a diaper. If I had helped you adopt Noah, I would have changed a lot of diapers, Liv."
A tear rolled down her face and she started to laugh at him.
"I would have. I would have bought Noah the whole diaper store and held him all night when he was sick just so you could get in a few hours. I would have done that…and you know I would have. I would have done that for you. I would have done that regardless of my marital status, because that's what you do when you love someone. You don't just help them get a baby and then walk away. He's clearly never had children. I don't know how you do it alone"
She touched his arm to stop him from getting upset.
"But El…you weren't there for me either."
Her words deflated him and nodded in agreement.
"Are you happy? With him?"
She hesitated. "...Yes."
"You hesitated…"
"Please, don't interrogate me right now." She paused and searched for an explanation. "Elliot, you have a way of bringing chaos into my world, and making me your second fiddle, and it's not fair to me. And it's not fair of me to think that you are going to change and that the chaos will balance out."
He was so close to her now, his bruised ego and his pain were overpowering the both of them. "You're right. You deserve better," he finally said and started to turn.
He softened his voice. A tactic he learned from her, but he knew she used it, because it comforted her too. "Liv, love is messy. It's never going to be a perfectly balanced spreadsheet with checked boxes. Life is filled with things to overcome and work on. But trust me when I say, for me…it will always be you and I. And I know you can feel it. Does he give you that feeling? Or does he just check the boxes."
Olivia was afraid to answer him, because the logical side of her brain didn't like the answer. Everything echoed in her ears. Her therapist. "You're never going to be able to let someone in if you don't try with Elliot." Rollins. "Just get a hotel room already." Even Barba. "I know because that's what you do when you love someone unconditionally."
Barba rounded the corner. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah." Elliot nodded at her and started to walk away.
"Elliot, wait," She pleaded.
Elliot stopped and turned to face Olivia with soft sad eyes. "You deserve everything, Olivia."
He then headed for the front doors, and walked out into the bright lights of Broadway.
Oliva took her seat while Barba got them some drinks for the second act. She vibrated with anxiety, feeling like she had made the wrong choice.
"Here I got you a martini. Thought you could use something stronger than wine. Jesus, I thought Elliot was going to punch me back there. Did you get that feeling," Barba half chuckled as he sat next to her.
"Yeah…," she half responded and then almost took a sip of the martini. "Oh…I can't drink vodka."
"Ah shoot. Do you want my bourbon?"
"No thanks…I'm good."
Barba looked at the guy next to him. "You want a martini? I didn't breathe on it I swear."
She watched him pass off the drink and everything about it was making her squirrely.
Elliot knew she could never drink vodka because of her mother's addiction to it.
Barba couldn't just sit still; he was constantly talking and whispering. "This song was lowered because Sutton Foster couldn't hit the notes. Sounds terrible."
"Oh," she shrugged. "I don't mind it."
Elliot hates when people talk during a show. And he isn't a fan of critical theater goers. "Who am I to judge. I can't sing."
She laughed to herself thinking about Elliot and Munch fighting about theater in the old precinct office.
The musical ended and Olivia looked at her phone. "Noah would have liked this show. I should bring him before it closes."
"Ah, it's so expensive," Barba winced. "Don't waste the money on a kid. Take him to chuck E. Cheese or something."
Elliot's voice rang in her ears again. "Chuck E Cheese is for pervs and influenza. I'd rather throw $500 at Broadway tickets than risk taking the kids to these places."
She turned away from Barba and searched the crowd for Kathleen and Bernie.
"Kathleen," she yelled.
Kathleen gave her the cold shoulder and pulled Bernie toward the exit.
"Kathlee…"
She stopped and watched the two women quickly get out of her view and she couldn't blame them.
Barba took her home and she barely spoke two words. He got out of the car to open the door for her. "Should I come up?"
"Ahh…not tonight."
"Look, Liv…I don't need a Harvard degree to know Elliot shook you tonight. Talk to me."
"Do you believe in soulmates, Barba?"
"Wow, that got deep fast. Maybe one time as a kid, not sure I do anymore…, but go on."
"Barba, you are an amazing man, and you will find your soulmate someday, I know you will, but I think I just let mine go tonight, and I need to get him back…"
Barba paused for a second in shock.
She nodded, touched the side of his face. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For guiding me to the right path, yet again Barba.."
Barba nodded in silence. "'Love is not love which alters it when alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove: O no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering bark whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out, even to the edge of doom.' Shakespeare. I had to memorize that in college."
"I bet you say that to all the ladies," she wryly smiled.
"Just the ones that got away."
Barba kissed Olivia on the forehead and then watched her walk inside before driving away.
She made her way to the elevator and clicked at her phone. He didn't answer.
"Elliot…I was wrong. I need to see you. Please call me back."
She texted him as she got off the elevator. "I made a mistake. Please call me."
She stopped in the hallway to watch the three dots and then nothing. "Stubborn man," she grunted under her breath.
"I love you," she texted. "It will always be you and I."
Radio silent. She opened the door to her apartment and jumped out of her skin. RIchard Wheatly was holding a gun to Noah's head. Lucy was bleeding and unconscious on the floor.
"Olivia Benson," Wheatly smiled. He wore ragged clothing. His beard was wild and his hair disheveled.
"Wheatly, let go of my son."
Olivia pressed the button to call Elliot before hiding the phone up her coat sleeve.
"Why would I do that? You took my son, so now it's time to take yours. What's the saying…An eye for an eye."
Noah cried and squirmed.
"Noah, baby, it's okay. Wheatly, you took your son's life, not me."
"Are you sure? Oh wait…yeah I guess I did kill my own son. What can I say, I'm a pretty fucked up guy." He laughed at himself and then threw Noah toward Olivia. "I'm not a kiddie killer, so you can have him back. What I really want is you and Stabler on a golden platter while I slowly eat you like a lobster in a cage." He slithered up next to Oliva. "Speaking of lobster. You dress up nice, Olivia. Were you on a hot date without Elliot?"
Wheatly laughed maniacally. "That is just hilarious. Elliot ruins my life with Angela, and then he doesn't even have the balls to take you out on a date."
Olivia held Noah to her body and tried to cover his ears as she stroked his hair.
"Elliot isn't here, so if you're looking to get revenge on him, then why don't we go find him, you and me."
"Without the kid?"
Noah looked up at her and she nodded. "Yes, Noah should stay at home."
Wheatly got close to her face and smiled. "Nice try but I'm out of fucks to give. The kid comes with us."
He grabbed Olivia and turned her around. Noah was still wrapped in her arms as he pushed them to the door. "Go to the parking garage. Now. Or I blow both of your brains out and send the best pieces to your lover boy."
Olivia slowly slid her cellphone into Noah's pocket and squeezed his hand. He squeezed it back responding to her without words.
"Okay, we're going to leave my apartment and then head to my garage and then what," Olivia made sure to speak those words as clearly as she could so that Elliot would know where to find them.
They reached the parking garage and Olivia hoped that the guard would see them in the camera, but Wheatly had already thought of that and he made them wait while he called the front desk.
"Hi, I'm on the 25th floor. I think I smell gas. Can you come check for me?"
The guard disappeared into the elevator and Wheatly pushed them to the parking area.
As they got to her car Elliot's voice sounded from behind them. "Drop your weapon, Wheatly. This place is going to be surrounded in minutes."
Wheatly turned all three of them around and pressed the gun hard into Olivia's head.
"Drop my weapon? Stabler, now why would I do that? Go ahead and have your men come in here. I've got your queen and I'm about to checkmate this game to an end."
Noah was sobbing and Olivia held him tighter. "It's okay. It's okay, Noah. Just close your eyes. I got you."
Elliot's hands began to sweat with nerves and he shifted in place. "Wheatly this isn't their war. Let them go, take your revenge out on me, and we'll let you walk out of here."
Noah clicked Olivia's phone on and started recording everything from the palm of his hand.
"Ha, that's your big move, Elliot? That I'll just let this all slide and walk away. YOU TOOK MY ANGELA! YOU RUINED HER AND THEN YOU MURDERED HER," Wheatly screamed.
"You can warp this plot any way you want to Wheatly, but you poisoned her, you killed both of her sons," Elliot poked.
"So what if I did! She knew it was for the greater good. She understood me!"
"She was afraid of you!"
"Elliot, stop," Olivia breathed out as Wheatly began to shake her with every word coming out of Elliot's mouth.
"Okay, Okay," Elliot breathed. "You win. Wheatly, you win. I ruined Angela. Just shoot me then, whatever you want, just…leave them out of this. You have about 5 minutes to shoot me and go back to the hole you were hiding in."
Wheatly started to laugh. "That would be too easy."
"Just shoot him, Elliot," Olivia said through fat tears and staggered breathing. "Noah, close your eyes. Elliot, it's okay," she sobbed. "I'm ready…
"Liv, stop…"
Wheatly laughed again.
"You two are more entertaining than HBO on a sunday night. Go ahead Elliot, shoot me."
"Just shoot him, Elliot, it's okay."
"You know I can't do that, Liv."
"That's right, Liv," Wheatly mocked. "Because if he loses you, he'll really have nothing. And what I really want is to see him suffer."
"So put me in jail. Cut off my legs. Just don't hurt them" Elliot clicked into a flurry of ideas. "The media already made me in the dangerous cop. Shoot yourself with my gun, Liv will handcuff me, and testify that I went crazy and tried to murder you. I get put away for attempt of murder, you get to play the marder."
Sirens started going off close by.
"They're coming," Elliot said. "Come on Wheatly, here's my gun, shoot yourself and put me behind bars. Punish me like a real man."
Wheatly's eyes grew angry trying to figure out what move to make and Elliot kept slowly walking closer to them. Finally he pushed Olivia and Noah in front of him causing Noah to drop the cell phone.
"What is that," Wheatly looked and saw they were being recorded. In his anger he dropped the gun from Olivia's head and Elliot took a shot hitting Wheatly in the shoulder.
"Noah run," Olivia pushed Noah toward the door to the apartment building and he ran inside, as Olivia bent down to reach for Wheatly's gun he pushed Olivia down.
Elliot took another shot at Wheatly's chest and started running for the two of them and the gun in Wheatly's hand, but he was only halfway to them when Wheatly fired at his chest.
"Elliot!," Olivia screamed. She kicked the gun from Wheatly's hands, picked it up from the ground, and fired the rest of the rounds into Wheatly's chest.
She screamed and Elliot tried to sit up to stop her. "Liv.."
When the bullets came to an end, there was silence as Wheatly slowly bled out. Olivia held Elliot's chest wound and lightly kissed his lips.
"Don't you dare leave me, Elliot Stabler."
She could hear the sirens getting closer and she grabbed at his waist for his cell phone.
"Officer down, bullet to the chest. Suspect wounded and appears to be dead. Elliot…," she sobbed.
"Liv…I love you, too," he whispered.
Olivia's lips touched his again and again. Her salty tears were the last thing he remembered before going unconscious.
AN: Second Chapter is 3/4 written. Hit me up with some review love or holler if you just need more EO. Like me. I need it. Like. Right now. AHHHHH!