It's a losing game we play Chapter 20: I Need You, an outsiders fanfic

A/N: This chapter has mature subject matter, which I will indicate with XXX. It is the final part of the chapter so if you are not comfortable with it, please finish reading when you see. There is nothing important in the scene, so you aren't missing any information by skipping it.

Middle of the Night – Elley Duhe

XXX

I summoned you, please come to me
Don't bury thoughts that you really want
I fill you up, drink from my cup
Within me lies what you really want

Come, lay me down
'Cause you know this
'Cause you know this sound

In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night
Just call my name, I'm yours to tame
In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night
I'm wide awake, I crave your taste
All night long 'til morning comes
I'm getting what is mine, you gon' get yours, oh no, ooh
In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night, oh

These burning flames, these crashing waves
Wash over me like a hurricane
I'll captivate, you're hypnotized
Feel powerful but it's me again

"Alright, Mia, we'll be back no later than tomorrow evening. I've left all our information on a notepad in the kitchen, if there is an emergency we can be back sooner." Jane was throwing a few last-minute items into a bag, searching around the room as if she'd forgotten something. "My goodness, it doesn't seem to matter how many times we get asked to these things, I always feel like I forgot to pack something." I smirked from the doorway where I was leaning but quickly moved out of her way when she rushed by towards the bathroom. "Samuel, you forgot your toothbrush!"

"I have a travel brush, remember dear?" Samuel called from the bottom of the stairs, looking as amused as I was when I came walking down towards him. "Every time." I laughed a little.

"I remember the vacation you guys went on one time when Dally and I were here, she was like this then too." Samuel chuckled.

"Yes, yes I remember that too." He went serious. "I know I shouldn't have to tell you this but remember not to open the door to anyone you don't know. And if you leave - which I hope you won't - take the key with you, it's by the door." I nodded as I walked into the living room and sat down in my favourite chair by the window. It was stuffed just right and perfect for curling up with a book, something I planned to do for the rest of the night.

"I'm going to make something to eat and read for the rest of the evening, so no worries there." I said as I listened to the thud of Jane's case coming down the stairs.

"Alright dear, I think that's everything. Mia darling, be good." She came over and kissed the top of my head while Samuel took the bags out to the car. "We'll see you tomorrow." I nodded and stood to follow her to the door, locking it behind them and waving from the window beside it as they pulled out of the driveway and onto the rain-soaked road. I watched the car disappear before heading back to the living room, grabbing the book that I'd left on the coffee table before curling up in my chair.

Before I realized, it had gotten dark outside and my stomach was growling for food, so after finishing my page, I stood to make my way to the kitchen and the leftover Chinese food I'd had for lunch. As I was passing the front door, something caught my attention outside. I continued to the kitchen and stood against the wall, thankful for the darkness inside as I hadn't turned on any lights and peeled out into the rain. What I saw nearly stopped my heart.

It didn't matter than he was distorted from the water on the glass, or that he was mostly in shadows while he stood on the sidewalk looking up at the house. I knew Tim's physique anywhere, and I wanted to cry that it seemed like even here, hundreds of miles away, I still couldn't get away from him. A part of me wanted to leave him out there in the rain, maybe he would catch something, and karma would finally have my back, but I knew I couldn't. Knowing what little I had gotten out of Jessie; I wanted an explanation. I was ready to hear what he had to say.

Stepping out into the entryway, I turned on the outside light, which just barely reached where he stood, and I unlocked to door before opening it wide. Tim was looking up at me as if he thought I didn't actually exist in front of him.

"What do you want, Tim?" I called out to him over the sound of rain hitting the ground.

"I just- I just need to talk to you." He called back, taking a hesitant step onto the walkway. When I didn't say anything, he continued forward until he stood at the bottom of the steps. "Mia, I never wanted to sell drugs. After everything you'd told me about how much you hated them, I didn't want to. But if I ever wanted to see you again, if I wanted to make sure you stayed alive, I didn't have a choice. They had all this stuff against you, and it would have put you in jail for life, possibly on death row and I just couldn't handle it. I did everything they asked me to, I sold their stuff, I kept my mouth shut to you and the gang, and I busted my ass to try and keep you safe from them. I couldn't lose you, not after everything. I would rather have my lungs carved out of my chest than ever lose you. I wanted to tell you everything from the start, but they were threatening to kill you and me, and I just couldn't let it happen." By now he was standing on the deck, out of the rain and so close I could smell his cologne, which immediately worked its way into every corner of my brain to remind me how much I loved it. "You leaving town was my worst nightmare come true, I couldn't see you, I couldn't protect you, and I couldn't tell you the one thing I should've told you probably from the minute you came back from here. I love you, Mia. I love you more than I thought possible to love anything, and I'll do anything to prove that to you, just please let me take you back home where you're safe." A million thoughts and emotions were spinning through my head. The main one being I love you, Mia. I had never had those words spoken to me in the context that Tim was now, let along the fact that it was Tom saying them. But my brain eventually worked its way back to what he'd said at the start of his speech.

"What do you mean they have stuff on me? Who are you even talking about?"

"I'm talking about some of the people you ran with when you were younger. They've got a new guy in charge now who has all this proof connecting you to the murder of some shop keeper."

"That's not possible, I've never killed anyone. They've been using crap against you that isn't even true." Tim shook his head.

"Maybe it isn't true, but the pictures are, Mia. It's you and Dally, on camera, walking into a shop and walking back out with guns in your hands. The time stamps on the images are minutes apart. If they're not real, they're sure convincing enough to make anyone believe they are." I thought for a moment about where these pictures could possibly have come from, and then it suddenly clicked. My eyes widened and I starred at Tim, unable to process that something that had happened so long ago was coming back to haunt me.

"This isn't happening," I breathed, dropping myself to the step, not even paying attention to Tim following me, crouching in front of me with his hands clenched.

"Mia, I had to do it." He repeated. "I couldn't let them hurt you. I couldn't let them take you away from me and everyone back home without fighting for you first."

"Who is in charge?" I asked, finally looking up at him. "I assume you've met him, no one else that we knew could possibly be as intimidating as whoever this guy is, because he seems to have everyone scared of him."

"I've only met him a couple times. He came down to threaten me with you never leaving that prison while you were away and then he came back about a week or so after you got home to tell me that if I didn't keep working for him, he would have you killed. He said you guys knew each other from before, that you'd been from rival gangs – one of the worst rivalries in the city." I thought I might puke.

"Don- don't say Troy," I stuttered. "Please, please don't say Troy." When Tim nodded, I snapped to my feet and ran to the railing, puking what little food that was in my stomach into the garden by the steps. Even after I was done, I stood there, the rain dripping from the eves falling into my hair. Bone deep chills were running through me, causing shivers.

I don't know how long I stood there before I felt hands pulling me back under the awning, and I felt the press of Tim's lean body against my back, but the shivers subsided almost immediately, and a sense of calm that I hadn't felt in months crawled across my skin. But it was short lived because anger flared when Troy crossed my mind this time. We had been gone so long, we'd had nothing to do New York and its problems since we had left. What could he possibly want with me now?

"I'm going to find him, and I'm going to kill him." I pulled myself from Tim's hold and started down the steps. I knew where he very likely was, because as far as I knew he'd always been there, long before Dally and I started living on the streets. Although I was still pissed at Jessie for her part in all of this, I now understood and was thankful for the gun.

Troy was the devil living on earth, his gang was into everything from drugs to assassin, and while he pulled all the strings, very rarely could anything be traced back to him and he had no issues letting his guys pay the consequences for everything he did. He played mind tricks with pretty near everyone he came in contact with, which was probably why Dally and I had ended up on his bad side. We had seen through all of it. We'd wanted no part of it, and his guys were the only ones we would anonymously contact the fuzz about in order to get them taken off the streets, as they were a danger to everyone, not just other gangs. I'd watched one of them kill a man just for bumping into them on the sidewalk.

In the end, he was the reason Dally and I had left. We'd been put on his hit list, and you were as good as dead the minute that happened. The only reason we'd managed to get out was because of Kyle, a member of our gang who'd happened to overhear someone talking about it, and who'd quickly gotten us onto a train leaving the city. He'd made us promise to never come back.

I now felt so stupid, because very likely coming back to get the guys to come help me had set him off again, and of course, I'd come running back here now. I was honestly surprised I was still alive.

"Mia stop!" Tim's voice finally broke through my thoughts, but I'd moved down the street so quickly he'd only just managed to catch up with me. He grabbed my arm and yanked me around to face him, and in the pale light of the streetlamps around us, I saw genuine fear in his eyes. "You can't do this, he'll kill you."

"I have to find out what his problem is!" I seethed, trying to pull myself free, but Tim wouldn't let go. "This ends now, either with him dead or me, because I can't take it anymore. I've lived with the fear of him killing me for so long now that it doesn't even matter anymore, but threatening you, threatening my life for some petty shit that happened years ago, I've had enough."

"Maybe you can live with the thought of dying to put an end to all of this, but I can't, Mia. I can't live with you gone, not because of him. He's messed up, the fucking devil would be scared of him. Mia, listen to me!" He grabbed my other arm, forcing me to face him, to be close to him. Even with the chill of the rain falling around us, soaking through our clothes, I felt his body heat moving over me like a blanket. I looked up at him and felt frozen by his stare. "Mia I won't live without you, not anymore. After you left, I was so messed up, and I can't live like that, I'd rather be dead." The air rushed from my lungs as he pulled me flush to his chest and crashed his lips into mind.

The world stopped existing in that moment, everything stopped existing except for us, and the warmth of his body so close to mine. He tasted like Camels smokes and a hint of his cologne, and it was intoxicating. I hadn't realized until now how much I'd been craving this, this closeness. I also realized I'd never felt anything like this with Dally, as much as he'd meant everything to me and as much as I'd loved him, this was different. I felt wanted more than I'd ever felt with him, like Tim's life may actually depend on us staying together.

When air was needed, we broke apart and the world quickly materialized back into place, along with the noises of the city that were suddenly too much.

"Mia…" Tim's voice floated through my head as he leaned down to nip and kiss at my ear. "I need you."

XXX

I don't know how we made it back to the house. I hadn't gotten that far before Tim had stopped me, but trying to get back without letting each other go, stealing kisses and resisting the need to get past all the wet clothes immediately made it seem as if we'd been miles away. But as soon as we made it inside, and the door was closed and locked, I found myself pressed to the wall, held there by Tim's body. I let out a strangled moan as he dipped his head to kiss and bite at my neck and collarbone. I gripped his shoulders and tried to pull myself closer, but there were too many clothes in the way, so I gave him a shove back before heading for the stairs. I was about halfway up when I realized he wasn't following me so I turned to see him starring up from the bottom step.

"You comin'?" I asked, slightly out of breath and he seemed to come out of a trance.

"Yeah," he said softly as he climbed up to meet me, "I just had to stop and look at how beautiful you are." I felt my face flush red. I wasn't use to being called beautiful – I wasn't used to compliments like that, period. "Fuck, Mia, I love it when you get shy." Tim was standing a step below me, which put us at the perfect height for kissing. He grabbed me by my waist and held me close, pressing his lips to mine in a slow but desperate way. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him as close as I could manage. "Which room is yours?"

"Second door to the right," I said between kisses, and squeaked when I found myself being lifted off my feet and carried the final distance to the bedroom. Tim set me down long enough to pull our shirts off, taking no time at all to reach behind me and unhook my bra. Hands roamed freely, pressing into chilled skin in desperation for more, a need to have as little as possible between us overwhelmed the space, making it hard to breath past the kisses.

"Tim, I-I need- "

"Hush, baby. I'm going to look after you. I'm always going to take care of you." I felt it in my bones how much he meant it, and a sense of pure safety crowded out any fear left that this was a dream.

We peeled off the rest of our clothes, laughing when they stuck, and I nearly toppled over trying to get out of my jeans. But all laughing stopped once I was laid out on the bed, Tim pressing his weight down on me while his mouth kiss and nipped at as much skin as he could reach without moving too far from my face because every time he left for a few seconds he'd come back, pressing against my lips like he was using me for oxygen. But the kissing and touching wasn't enough, I felt heat flooding my system, needing a release, and when I pushed one of his hands away from my breast and down across my stomach, he didn't fight it. When I felt his fingers brush against me, I gasped and then moaned before I lost myself.

We worked each other into a near maddened state before Tim finally pulled his fingers away and reach down for his jeans, pulled out his wallet, and removed a condom wrapper. When he was ready, he pulled my legs to wrap around his waist and then slowly pushed himself forward. The overwhelming feeling of him nearly made me want to scream, however it did make tears crawl down my cheeks. When Tim bent forward to kiss me and noticed them, he froze.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, worry lacing his question, making me smile through the tears.

"No, I just… I just missed you – I missed us. I thought this was all over and I thought I was dealing but I guess I wasn't." Tim kissed my cheeks, catching the tears on his lips as he did so. "I love you too." Tim's head dropped to the crook of my neck, and he let out a low groan, his hips stuttering from where they had stopped when he thought I was hurt.

"You have no idea how much I needed to hear that, baby." He didn't say anything else, just push himself up to hover over me before setting a deliciously brutal pace.

Come, lay me down
'Cause I know this
'Cause I know this sound

And just call on me, ah, just call my name
Like you mean it

In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night
Just call my name, I'm yours to tame
In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night
I'm wide awake, I crave your taste
All night long 'til morning comes
I'm getting what is mine, you gon' get yours, oh
In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night, oh, whoa

XXX

2 chapters in one day, look at me go!

Hope everyone enjoyed this one, it's likely going to be some time before I post anything else as I have to figure out how I want the next scenes to go. I have some ideas, and I have a couple things already written for later in the story but it's the filling in the gaps that I need to work on.

Reviews would be lovely!