03: RISE OF THE ATTACK CHILD
(aka Kuwata's Shame part I)
"Amazing, Hajime! What a beautiful piece!"
Hajime blinks into focus. About two dozen blurry faces crowd around him. What the? Who the?- oh. The Card in his pocket burns reassuringly. Sonia steps closer to the piano. That's right. He had been pressured into playing the piano for the class, and had summoned Kaede in the boy's bathroom. After his new influx of four new seemingly miraculous talents, the entire administration is buzzing. His parents are gushing, showing him in praise. But it all feels so…hollow…
"I never knew piano could be that magnificent, that majestic, that regal!" She wipes tears from her eyes. Meanwhile, Chisa's tears are fully flowing, hands clasped as if in prayer. "Brillant, Hajime. Oh, that was spectacular! I'm sure the entire school would love to see your various skills- maybe tomorrow! Or Wensday! A weekly showing! Daily! I'm so proud of you! By the way, what was that piece called? It's on the tip of my tongue, but it spilled my mind."
"Uhhh…"
"How Bad Could I Be instrumental version, from the hit 2011 movie the Lorax?" Mahiru quickly cuts in. Chisa brightens. "Exactly! How touching!"
Mahiru's eyebrows furrow. "Hey, I need to talk to Hajime for a bit about some homework stuff. See you!" She grabs Hajime's hand, pulling him into the hallway.
"Hajime? Are you all right?" A vein is bursting in Hajime's forehead. His breathing is shallow, and he starts to hunch over, panic written all over his features."Hahaha yeah," he almost shouts. "I'm fine! Just fine! A.O.K! Why wouldn't I be, hahaha!" Hajime tries to smile. It's far too wide, showing too much gum. A shudder wrecks Mahiru's body. Gross.
"...Sure." Mahiru's phone buzzes. "Woah. Your phone's dead, right? Check out this text."
From:
To: bossbaby2nowintheatres, , snorlaxgirl, justrandomsomeguy, sussybakaO-O, whatscookin'?, Sonia1234, darkhellishlegacyohlookahamster, splatoonirl, IBUKIIIIIII!, and bitofaloseCanon
Yo! Meet in storage room 110-37 or be a loser 4 life :D
-Akane
"What?" Mahiru cocks her head. Hajime frowns. "It's not anyone's birthday. The nearest one is Sonia's and that's not for another week. Wait, isn't it your girlfriend's birthday today?" Mahiru smiles. "Correct! Kyoko's birthday is today. But I thought that her class was organizing something. Why would it be Akane? And why a storage closet…"
They are towards the Storage Closet 110-37. The tiny closet was backed in the corner of a hallway near the trash compactor. Mahiru reaches for the doorknob. "Here goes nothing."
Most of the class is already there, seated in plastic hairs set in neat rows. At the back of the closest sits an empty whiteboard. The only students not there are Akane and…Nekomaru?
Right as Mahiru steps over the doorway, Nekmaru and Akane bolt out from behind two conveniently shaped trash cans. Nekomaru storms inside the closet, while Akane stays outside.
"AKANE!" Nekomaru bellows. Akane nods. "Got it, coach!" She steps outside and slams the door shut. From the outside, the sound of a deadbolt locking into place echoes. Above the protests of a not inconsiderably pissed off class, Nekomahru stomps over to the whiteboard. He slams it over, revealing a serial killer's wildest fantasy. Red yarn darts around, connecting dozens of photos and random objects. "WHO DID THIS?"
The class collectively gulps. "U-um, I-im so s-sorry, N-nekomaru, b-b-ut who did what?" Mikan whispers.
"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" She flinches, burying her face in her hands. Placing herself protectively in front of the shivering Mikan, Hiyoko sneers. "Seriously? We really, really don't. So stop being a stupid, hunk of muscle moron and tell us!"
"YOU ALREADY KNOW, DAMN IT! MECHOMARU IS MISSING!" Mechomaru, Nekomaru's robot keychain? Chiaki raises a hand."Are you sure you didn't just…lose him?"
"NEVER! MECHOMARU IS A VALUED MEMBER OF THE TEAM!"
"What team?"
"THE TEAM, GODDAMNIT! I LEFT HIM IN MY BAG TO TAKE A SWEET PISS AND WHEN I GOT BACK, HE WAS MISSING!"
"Who would take your stupid doll, anyways? Fuck you!" Fuyuhiko calls out.
""MECHOMARU IS NO DOLL! DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME 50 PUSHUPS!"
"Screw you, bastard!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Mounds of pumped-up muscle flexes as Nekomzaru stares Fuyuhiko down. The Ultimate Yakuza tries to fight back, giving the Ultimate Team Player a cold, icy glare. But cracks of panic start to show…a little more… a little more…
Fuyuhiko flies off his chair and starts doing push ups. Oh no.
"Wait, Nekomaru! I think I know who took your doll!" Hajime stutters. "Please. Give Mahiru and I thirty minutes. Then you can interrogate everyone. They'll stay here, in the room, until we come back."
"I never agreed to that!" Hiyoko whines. Hajime discreetly eyes the floor, where Fuyuhiko is doing pushup eleven. His face is caked in sweat and tears. Arms wobbling like a leaf. Hiyoko tenses, biting her lip. "Erm-nevermind! Great plan! Awesome!" Nekomaru pumps a fist. "THEN DEAL, LITTLE DUDE! AND YOU" he points to Fuyuhiko. "WHAT SAD PUSHUPS! HARDER! PUSH UP LIKE YOU MEAN IT!"
"I-i'm trying, shithead!" Fuyuhiko growls. Nekomaru walks over and steps on his back. The petite mafioso (author's note:hmm sound familiar huh) lets out a strangled cry and flops to the ground.
"TRYING ONLY COUNTS WHEN YOU'VE REACHED YOUR LIMITS AND PUSHED PAST WEAKNESS! 100 MORE PUSHUPS."
Mahiru leans in, cupping a hand to Hajime's ear. "Who do you think took the doll?" Hajime 's face squishes into a pathetic ball of terror. "No clue. I just wanted to get out of there before Nekomaru goes all Detroit Smash. So I just planned to look for it and hope?"
Mahiru eyebrows raise. "We're so screwed." "Yeah." They walk outside, leaving poor Fuyuhiko at Nekomaru's mercy. They turn a corner-
"Holy shit." The hallway is filled with How's Peak technology- security drones, Upperclassman Fujisaki's hive of modified toy helicopters. On the floor, the dorm Roombas are lined in rows. Pink tape holds kitchen knives to the household vacuums.
"What the-"
A bright pink ball rolls down the hallway. Magenta smokes releases from the capsule. The security drones charge forward, deadly lasers blasting widely. Fuschia missiles that were most certainly not there before drop into position from the helicopters. The homicide roombas clatter around, stabbing the walls (and each other).
Usami's head opens out of the backpack. "It's a Kuma Card! Not just one, but two! Fiddlesticks, this is so bad! Please, run!" Our unlikely heroes bolt down the hallway. Mahiru yanks Hajime's arm, eyes wide. "We need to do something!"
"We don't have weapons!"
"Upperclass Kuwata has a dorm."
"What?"
"Just follow me!"
The room is covered in idol paranaplia. A collection of Vocaloid figures and plushies line the shelves. A bright blue electric guitar sits in the corner.
"Is that…"
Among the many posters is one from Sayaka's group, signed by the band three years ago.
"Yep."
"Leon must never know we saw this. Ever."
"Yep."
Mahiru yanks open the closet door. Heaps of trophies, medals, and statues are littered in a dusty heap. At the top is a baseball bat.
"Perfect." She grabs the baseball bat. "I'm no Ultimate Baseball Star, but I played Little League when I was a kid." She swings experimentally at the desk lamp. It shatters.
"W-what about me?"
"Uh…use that." She points towards a cheap plastic katana covered in gold foil.
The door bursts open. A swarm of robots don't even have a second to take in Upperclassman Kuwata's shame before Mahiru leaps off the bed and clobbers them with a 2017 Championship cherrywood swinger. Hajime joins in, whacking security drones out of the air, gold foil littered among the robo-corpses.
"Help! Please, someone help me! P-please!" A voice screams from another room. Mahiru's face goes pale. "I thought everyone was in the storage closet!" the voice shrieks again. "Please! Anyone, help me!" On the second scream, it's clear that this person is a young girl, much younger than any Hope's Peak student. They run to the sounds, finding the source in an empty classroom.
A girl is huddled in a ball. Three roombas ram into her relentlessly, pushing her into the corner. The photographer starts to run forward, bat held aloft. "Hold on-"
Hajime yanks her wrist. Mahiru turns, glaring sharply. "What?"
"Just look at her!"
She looks like an ordinary kid. In profile, the girl's short green hair is held in place but a red bow. Her black dress is normal, if a little old fashioned- the collar is done in lace, held in place by a matching red bow.
"What about her?"
"Her hair isn't even messy! If she was really human, her hair would be messier by now." Hajime is technically right? Her hair is immaculate, not a hair out of place. The Ultimate Mind Reader/Pianist/Artist/Entomologist starts to back away, hands waving wildly. His eyes are bulging out of his skill, mouth a thin line. "Clearly, she's an attack child placed here as a trap by the Kuma Card!" He raises his fists, shaking them at the child. "I know what you are!" The girl continues crying.
"Stop being a paranoid dick! She's just a kid! She probably uses a hair straightener, or some gel! This is ridiculous!"
"A strike infant! Onslaught adolescent! Invasion juvenile!"
"Seriously? I'm helping the kid. After this, the deal is done. Screw you, Hajime!" Before Hajime can react, Mahiru breaks his grip and races towards the child. She slams the roombas out of the air and leans down to the girl's level. "Hey, hey it's gonna be okay…what's your name?" Mahiru pats the girl on the back.
The child's head swivels, unhinged from her shoulders, to Mahiru like Woody confronting Sid during the first Toy Story . Her eyes glow neon green. Up close, she's made of metal panes camouflaged to look like a human girl. Two black installation lines reveal whirring machinery inside.
"Targets spotted." it's mechanical voice drawls. "Attack child mode 03 activated: "Eat shit, Cardcaptor". Self destruct."
Mahiru freezes, hand and inch from the bot. In a split second, Hajime lowers the katana and shows Mahiru away with his shoulder.
BOOM.
The attack child explodes in a flurry of fire and ash. The air boils, shimmering with heat. The remantants of chairs and tables are thrown into the wall, disntaring on impact. For the third time in four days, Hajime blacks out.
—-
Hajime wakes draped across the Academy lawn.
"Arg, not again…" A stabbing pain in his thigh indicates a bad burn on his calf. Bandages are wrapped around the wound, tied into a little bow.
Mahiru is covered in dust and rubble, but with no visible burns. She slowly helps him up.
"Don't worry. Mikan and I went to the nurses office and found supplies. I told her Upperclassman Togami's electric space heater malfunctioned. I had to trash the space heater, but the guy can go without a personal heater for five minutes if he never shares." She crosses her arms. "Asshole."
"The Card?"
Mahiru grimaces. "Got away. After you got K.O'd, the robots just…gave up. When I went to investigate, I found Mechomaru in the game room. I dragged you out before the janitors came in for the evening shift. Look Hajime..damn it..well..
She glared at the dirt. "Argh. I'm trying to say I'm sorry for not trusting you. To be honest…" Mahiru pauses to take a breath. "I don't get guys. I've never told you about my family, have I? My mom was a war photographer. She's the one who taught me. She died buring a bombing at a relief station. My dad isn't a great guy. He always thought she should stay home and cook for him. After the news came out, that bastard used her death as proof he was right all I don't really trust most guys. But I think I was wrong. I mean, men are still trash. But you might not be. And it was wrong of me to assume people are untrustworthy just because of their gender or whatever."
"Don't be sorry. That sounds terrible. I'm sorry, Mahiru. It was my fault too. It's not like we could have just left her if there was even a possibility she was real. I don't know what I was thinking…"
"You've stressed out of your mind." What? Hajime blinks. Mahiru punches his shoulder teasingly. "Come on, you think Chiaki and I haven't noticed? You're juggling four fake talents and fighting magical monsters. So let's agree we both made mistakes, steal some of Hagakure's not-so-secret stash, and never speak of this again."
"Okay. Thanks for healing me and covering my sorry ass."
Mahiru loops her arm around Hajime's shoulders. "No problem. Hey, Kyoko is working late at her internship, and she's my ride. Do you want to go grab coffee?"
"Sounds good."
Inside the backpack, Usami smiles. What a beautiful friendship beginning to bloom!
Hope Fragment Achieved ⅙: Mahiru Koizumi
—-—-
Next time on Cardcaptor Hajime:
"E-eat…h-help…C-c-cardcaptor…die.."
A mechanical head is half-dug into the wilted grass by the highway, watching the cars go by. Wires buzz and crackle feebly A green Nissan Versa zooms by, splattering mud over the remnants of what was formally the Attack Child. Its luminous green eyes start to flicker, losing power.
More cars pass by.
"Kill..Cardcaptor..revenge…destroy…must….destroy!..must…"
On the highway, a Toyota haphazardly swerves off the road, spinning to a stop in front of the Attack Child. A stuffed bear steps out, half black, half white. Its right eye is a malevolent, glowing slash of red.
"Aw jeez." It scoops up the head. "The new Cardcaptor is getting to be annoying. Say, you hate the Cardcaptor, right?"
"Cardcaptor?..Cardcaptor...destroy..annihilate..rip..burn…slash… stab…must kill…"
The bear grins. "All right! Welcome to the team. I guess you'll need a name, huh? What about…Murder Despair Hopelessness II? Or…" A card passed by. A holographic stick shines in the dying sunlight.
M.O, N.C, TO W.A- ROAD TRIP!
"Monaca Towa! What an awesome and original idea! Read to spread some despair!"
"Windows XP is restarting…404 error…Powering..off.." Monaca's eyes go dark. Monokuma hoists it under his plush arm and heads back to the car.
"That's the spirit! We'll have you fixed in no time!"