(New South park, Marsh Residence)
BEEP BEEP BEEP!
Stan angrily grabbed his phone and brought his finger down hard on the phone and repeated to do so till the alarm stopped! He then placed it back into his nightstand before falling back in bed and hearing his wife, Wendy's voice.
"Was that necessary, Stan?"
"Ya, it was," Stan said before putting his arm, around wendy's shoulder and pulling her close to him. Wendy rested her head against her husband's chest.
"Ya know stan, for some weird reason I have a strange feeling of Deja Vu," Wendy said.
Stan was about to speak up but before he could they both heard a crashing sound coming from the kitchen downstairs.
Stan sighed then said: Ya, I feel it too."
Stan got out of bed and walked downstairs. When he got to the bottom of the stairs he heard a pop followed by a pain-filled cry!
"Aaahhh!"
Stan rushed into the kitchen and found his son Stanley Marsh jr standing over a fallen body with a smoking gun in his hand!
"Stanley!"
Stan immediately grabbed his eight-year-old son and brought him out of the kitchen! He then sat Stanley down on the couch and got the smoking Glock out of his son's hands then threw it onto the kitchen table.
"Dad, what're you-"
Stanley was interrupted when his father began to check him for wounds.
"Dad, stop it. I'm ok."
"Where the hell did you get a gun?!" Stan shouted.
"Grandpa Randy. He told me to whip it out next time you and mom are fighting." Stanley replied.
Stan sighed. He wasn't surprised at all that his father had done this.
The two then heard the intruder begin to stir. Stanley tried to grab the gun again but stan got to it before his son.
"Go upstairs with your mother and lock the door behind you," Stan said.
Stanley was about to protest but before he could he noticed the look his father gave him and nodded before running upstairs.
Stan walked back into the kitchen and held the gun against the back of the intruder's head.
"Get up slowly. If you try anything I promise I will blow out the back of your head!"
The intruder got up slowly then turned around, stan wasn't surprised to see it was Cartman.
"Stan be cool, it's just me," Cartman said.
Stan didn't change his stance.
"Why the hell are you in my house at five in the morning?"
Was just making sure you guys were ok. There's been a lot of break-ins in this neighborhood lately."
"The real reason, Now!"
"Fine, you know how kyle and Bebe are having a Dinner party later today?"
"Ya, they invited us."
" Exactly! How come they invite you and not me?! I came here looking for your invitation so I could get into the party."
Stan pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Cartman, even if you did take my and wendy's invitation, Kyle and Bebe still wouldn't have let you into their house right?"
"Why not?!"
"Because they hate you, remember? Last time you were invited over, you grabbed Bebe's Butt and said she was wasting herself on kyle."
Cartman remembered that and how Bebe had kicked his ass right after.
Give one good reason I shouldn't kick you out on your sorry ass."
"Too late stan, im already in the process of doing that."
Stan and Cartman turned around and saw Wendy standing on the stairs and aiming an even bigger gun at the cartman.
" Stan, can you tell your bitch to put the gun away and leave the men to their talk."
"Cartman, I don't think you should say that to wendy," Stan said fearfully.
"Pfft, um not worried about-ow!"
Cartman looked down and saw the hole in his arm! The bullet had shot clean through his arm.
"What were you saying, lard ass?" Wendy asked smugly.
Cartman covered his wound and tried his best to look like he wasn't in pain.
"Whatever, I was leaving anyway."
Cartman then walked to the front door and left the marsh house.
"What the hell did he want?" Wendy asked as she walked down the stairs.
" He wanted to try and steal our invitation to Kyle and Bebe's party tonight...where did you get that gun, anyway?" Stan asked.
"Your mom gave it to me after our wedding. She said to whip it out if you ever started acting like your dad."
"Geez, my parents are fucked in the heads."
"I know the feeling, Dad," Stanley said.
(Several hours later, Starks pond)
Stanley threw a rock into the pond. His best friend Jacob Broflovski tossed a stone right after but it didn't go as far.
"So your house has a security system, right?" Stanley asked.
"Ya, why?" Jacob asked.
"Uncle Cartman broke into our house and tried to steal our invitation to your parent's party tonight. I heard him and my dad talking about how he wanted to come to your parent's party tonight."
"Fuck that shit. No way is he coming into our house after he grabbed my mom's Butt, last easter."
Stanley picked up another stone and was about to throw it but was interrupted when he heard a familiar voice.
"What're you two sperm donors doing?"
Stanley and Jacob turned around and saw their friends Cat Greene, Nelly, and Francis's Daughter, and Jessica Malkinson, Scott and Sophie's daughter.
The two boys shrugged before answering.
"Just chucking rocks, we were bored," Jacob said.
Cat looked around and noticed that Stanley and Jacob's other three friends weren't around.
"Where are the other three idiots?" Cat asked.
"Herman is visiting his grandmother in reno while Dani and his parents are on vacation in Florida. Alfred's busy tutoring kids at school."
"On a Saturday?" Jessica asked.
"You know smart kids, they're always trying to show off how intelligent they are," Jacob said.
"So what's up with you two?" Stanley asked.
"Cat and I have a proposition to offer. Since both our parents will be going to the party tonight and us kids will probably be shoved into the basement or something, we figured that we'd play spin the bottle while we're all alone."
Stanley and Jacob blushed.
"Uh, I'm not so sure about that. Maybe we could-" Jacob was interrupted when Jessica spoke up again.
"Great, we'll be over at 6:00 along with everyone else."
"Bye, boys," Cat said.
Cat and Jessica then walked away and once they were a far enough distance away, Cat's confidence began to fade immediately.
"Oh crap, Jessica I can't do this."
"Will you relax? We're only playing spin the bottle, we're not getting married. Besides you should be thanking me, I'm giving you the opportunity you've always been waiting for, to kiss Stanley."
"Oh please don't act like your not getting anything out of this, Jessica. You've been wanting to get with Jacob ever since he and Nancy broke up."
"And you haven't been wanting Stanley ever since Patty left town?" Jessica replied.
Cat blushed.
Patty Tweak and Nancy Donovan had been Stanley and Jacob's girlfriends for a while but thanks to some steady manipulation and some help for the usual supernatural crap their town was known for, Patty was sent to live with her aunt in Denver, and Jacob and Nancy had decided to take a break leaving Stanley and Jacob as the two most highly sought-after bachelors in New South park.
"So how exactly are we gonna get Stanley and Jacob to well ya know?"
"You mean kiss?"
"Kiss is such an informal word don't you think? I've always been more partial to the term smouch."
Jessica rolled her eyes.
"To answer your question, the bottle I was going to use has a tiny magnet inside. I'm going to hide a tiny piece of metal in my sleeve and once Jacob spins the bottle I'll make sure it lands on me...and I'll do the same for you once it's Stanley's turn."
Cat smiled.
" Thanks, cat."
"No prob. After all, what are friends for if they can't help you kiss the guy you've loved since kindergarten."
(Broflovski Residence, several hours later)
Stan and Wendy drove up to Kyle and Bebe's house. As they got out of the car, stan pulled Wendy aside.
"So do you have any idea what this party is even about?" Stan asked.
"Not at all. Bebe hasn't told me anything about the party other than it's happening and we're invited. I was hoping Kyle had told you." Wendy replied.
Stan then opened the door and found most of their other friends were already waiting in the Broflovski living room. Butters and his wife Lola, Scott and Sophie Malkinson, Jimmy Valmer and his wife, Allie Nelson, Tweek and his wife Millie Larsen, Jason White and his wife, Theresa as well as several of their other friends.
Bebe came out of the kitchen and hugged Wendy and Stan.
"I'm so glad you two are here," Bebe said before looking down at her godson, Stanley, and smiled.
"Stanley, Jacob, and your other friends are downstairs, why don't you join them?"
Stanley shrugged then nodded.
"Ugh, ok," Stanley said before going down into the basement.
Once he got down there, he found his friends all watching tv. Stanley noticed that Jessica Malkinson was sitting close to Jacob, their hands were almost touching.
"Hey, Stanley."
Stanley noticed his female best friend, Cat Greene was gesturing for him to sit next to her but before he could, Jessica turned around and noticed him.
"Ah good, Stanley is here. Now the fun can begin." Jessica said.
Jessica then took out an old glass coke bottle.
"All right everyone, let's sit around in a circle. We're going to play spin the bottle."
"Ack! Are we really gonna do this?" Alfred Tweak asked.
"I guess so, Alfred. I hope when I spin the bottle it lands on you." Rita Valmer, Jimmy, and Allie nelson's daughter said. As she put her hands on the blond boy's shoulders.
Alfred blushed as she said this.
(Upstairs)
Wendy poured herself a glass of wine while Stan helped himself to a can of None alcoholic Beer, he couldn't have a regular beer because he'd been sober for eight years.
"So has everyone said anything about why we're all here?" Wendy whispered to her husband.
"Not a clue, I asked Tweek, Butters, and Jimmy and neither of them know why we're all here either. Has Bebe said anything?" Stan whispered back.
Wendy shook her head no.
Bebe picked up a wine glass and tapped the side of it with a fork.
"Ok everyone if I could have your attention for just a moment. I'm sure your all wondering why Kyle and I invited you all here tonight."
"The reason we wanted you all here was that-"
Bing bong.
"Who the hell is that? everyone we invited is already here." Bebe asked.
"I ordered a pizza for the kids, it's probably the delivery guy," Kyle said as he took cash out of his pocket and opened the door only to notice Cartman on his stoop wearing a fake mustache.
"Ugh hello, I'm here to deliver the pizza," Cartman said in a bad Italian accent.
"What the hell are you doing here, fat ass?" Kyle asked with obvious irritation in his voice.
"I'm just here to deliver the pie, masseur."
" Monsieur is French not Italian. Why are you here, we have a restraining order against you remember?"
"Well... I just..."
"Go home, lard ass before I call the cops."
Cartman then took off the fake mustache.
"Why the hell didn't you invite me, Kyle?!"
"Several reasons. Number one, I hate you. Number two, my wife hates you. Number three, everyone in town as well as their children hate you. Now get off my stoop!"
Kyle tried to close the door on cartman but the fat man pushed his way through the door and into the living room.
" Why the hell is he here?!" Bebe said angrily.
" He won't be for long," Kyle said as he took out his smartphone and called the 911.
(Basement)
"What're they doing up there?" Cat asked.
"Who cares, let's focus on the game shall we?" Jessica said as she placed the coke bottle in the middle of the circle and spun it. She hoped it would land on Jacob but unfortunately it landed on Gabriel Stotch.
"Dammit." Jessica said.
"You don't have to act so disappointed." Gabriel said.
"Believe me, I do."
Jessica only kissed Gabriel on the cheek.
"Hey, that's not fair,jessica."
"Neither is life but you get used to it after a while."
Alfred spun the bottle next and it landed on Rita.
Before Alfred could do anything, Rita got up and grabbed him by cheeks.
"Pucker up, Alfi!"
Rita then pulled Alfred into a passionate kiss.
Alfred Wiped his mouth after Rita's surprisingly wet kiss.
"Ack! Dang it, Rita. Did you have to make your kiss so slobbery?" Alfred said.
Rita smiled triumphantly then said: Pfft, you loved it."
After a few more spins, it was finally Jacob's turn.
Jessica got her magnet just as Jacob spun the bottle. After a few spins, the bottle finally landed on her.
Jessica noticed Jacob blushing and looking Nervous. This only made her want him more. She leaned in, put her hand around the back his neck and began to gently pull him in,there lips were mere inches away from each other but unfortunately this moment was ruined when they all heard the sound of a gunshot coming from upstairs.
Jacob pulled away from Jessica and ran upstairs with mostly everyone except Jessica and Cat following close behind him. He pushed the basement door open and was immediately relieved to see Cartman laying on the ground with a gun shot wound in his left calf!
"Ah Thank God." Jacob said before noticing the shooter was none other then his mother Bebe.
"Mom,Dad, what happened?!"
"Don't worry, son. Your mom was just stopping Cartman from ruining the party." Kyle said while trying to comfort his son.
Jacob smiled then looked back down at Cartman.
"You feeling ok, Uncle Cartman?" Jacob asked.
"The fuck do you think, No! Get me some brandy or something!" Cartman said.
"I've got a better idea."
Jacob then got out a Kubotan and stuck the self defense tool deep into Carman's wound!
"Ah Shit! Kyle, are you just gonna let your son do this to me?!"
"Your Damn right I will, I've never been prouder of him then I am now." Kyle said.
After a few more seconds of torture, Jacob finally got the bullet out of Cartman's calf.
"There,that's one less thing the paramedics have to do when they get here."
Jacob then flicked the bloody bullet at Cartman's face.
"So what was the surprise, Bebe?" Sophie asked.
"Bebe's face changed to one of excitement.
" Well as you all know, Kyle and I have been trying for a while to have another child and we just got the results back from the doctor a few days ago and we finally got the news we've been waiting for, I'm pregnant."
Everyone then got up and started to congratulate Kyle and Bebe.
" I was wondering why you weren't drinking any of the wine." Wendy said before hugging her best friend.
While the adults were Congratulating Kyle and Bebe, Stanley tapped his friend on the shoulder then asked him a question.
"You ok with this, Jacob?"
"Sure I am, Dude. Why wouldn't I be? I'm Gonna have little brother or sister." Jacob replied.
"Your not worried that your not gonna be the center of attention anymore?"
"Nah, between you and me I always wanted a sibling. Being an only child sucks."
"Oh Jacob?"
Jacob turned around and before he could do anything, Jessica pulled him into a passionate kiss. After she pulled away, Jacob was a mix of confused and smitten.
"You didn't think you could get away from me that easily, did you?" Jessica asked.
Jacob was still too flabbergasted to make a response.
"I'll take Jacob off your hands, Stanley. Besides, there's someone else who wants to have their moment with you."
Stanley was unsure of who jessica was talking about until he heard a familiar voice coming from behind him.
"Hey Stanley,do you mind if we go outside for a sec?" Cat asked.
Stanley nodded then followed her outside.
Luckily for both of them it was a tad warmer then usual outside with year.
Cat took Stanley by the hand and let him to bench swing. The two sat down for a moment and looked out at the snowy woodlands before them. They were both silent until Stanley spoke up.
"So you want to kiss right?"
Cat blushed immediately.
"H-How did you know?" Cat asked.
Stanley gave her a knowing smile.
"We've been friends for a long time, cat. I think Id know you well enough by now."
"So then...you know that I like you, not just as a friend but as something more?"
Stanley's face changed and now looked uncomfortable.
"It took a while to notice that but after Patty left and everything, it sort of became obvious. I'm surprised I didn't realize it before."
Cat smiled and moved closer to Stanley but he brief moment of happiness was ruined when she noticed Stanley's face still looked uncomfortable.
" You don't feel the same way, do you?"
Stanley sighed.
"It's not that simple,Cat. When I think about the two of us together, it feels weird but then after a few seconds it begins to feel nice. We know each other better then anyone else in town and we're both the leaders of our own groups, not to mention that if we were together we wouldn't have put on an act or anything, we could just be ourselves."
"Also, people do love the Jock and Nerdy tomboy pairings." Cat said.
Stanley smirked again.
"You watch too much anime."
The two were silent for another few minutes, both unsure what to say.
Cat then felt Stanley's hand touch hers. She turned back around and was shocked when Stanley kissed her.
Cat closed her eyes and kissed him back. It felt like they kissed for hours but in reality it was only a minute.
Stanley then ended the kiss and looked into cat's dark green eyes as she looked into his ice blue ones.
"The feelings are there, cat. I just don't think now is a good time for either of us to start a relationship with each other."
"Are you sure?"
"Last time I moved to fast into a relationship, it ended in disaster. I don't want what happened between me Patty to happen to you and me."
Cat looked disappointed but then nodded her head in agreement. She then grabbed him by the coat, looked him into the eyes then whispered into his ear.
"Someday you will be mine, Stanley Marsh Jr. I can guarantee you that."
The moment was then interrupted when they both noticed the ambulance pulling into the driveway. Stanley smiled then grabbed cat by the wrist.
"C'mon Cat. Let's watch the the paramedics drag Cartman out." Stanley said before he threw her onto his back and ran back towards the house.
(Ten minutes later)
The paramedics wheeled Cartman out of house.
"You should have invited me, Kyle!" Cartman said weakly before they moved him into the ambulance.
Bebe walked up to her husband and wrapped her arms around his.
"sigh, yet another party, that fat ass has ruined." Bebe said.
"Yep, first Thanksgiving now our dinner party." Kyle said.
"If we try hard enough, maybe we can save Easter from him."
"We can only hope, Babe. We can only hope."
After the ambulance drove away
Stanley noticed Jacob and jessica both coming out of the family shed. He smiled as he noticed the many lipstick kiss marks that jacob was trying to wipe off of his face. Cat noticed as well.
"I see you two had fun." Cat said.
Jacob blushed while jessica looked proud of herself.
"What can i say,im a girl who gets what she wants and tonight i got Jacob." Jessica said.
"I hope that means your done with me." Jacob said as he got the last of the kiss marks off of his face.
"Nope. Your stuck with me, Jacob. Now whenever you go to sleep you'll dream of me."
"Your the one who's dreaming,Jessica."
"Guys, Help me!"
Stanley and Jacob turned around and saw Alfred trying to run out of the house but only then being pulled back in by Rita.
"You two might want to go deal with that." Jessica said as she pointed back into the house.
"oh all right." Jacob said as he and Stanley went inside to try and help there friend, leaving only cat and Jessica outside.
The two friends smiled at each other for a moment before speaking.
"so I assume that big fat grin on your face is because you had that special kiss with jacob?" cat asked.
Jessica smiled triumphantly then said: You could say that, yes. How about you? Did Stanley give you the romantic comedy kiss you always write in your journal about?"
Cat looked back at her friend with a look of surprise.
"How did you know what I've written in my Journal?"
"Whenever go over to your house I always snoop through it...just to make sure you're not on drugs."
Cat thought that was pure bullshit. Jessica may have been her best friend but that didn't mean that she would not go through her best friend's private thoughts and fears, cat would make sure to remember that next time she went to the Malkinson house.
"Unfortunately, no. I told Stanley how I felt and he said that now want the best time for a between the two of us."
"That piece of shit thinks he can turn you down? Ah hell no! Let's run to his house and spray paint a dick and balls on his front door, that way he'll know we mean business."
"No Jessica. you didn't let me finish. He said now wasn't a good time for a relationship but that the feelings were there but he didn't want to rush into a relationship now so we don't end up like he and Patty did."
"So basically he wants you to wait for a right moment that may never evan come, are you ok with that?"
Cat shrugged.
"For now."
(Many years into the future, Broflovski Residence)
Jacob opened the door and smiled as Stanley and Cat came in with there son and daughter close behind. The two kids were named Stan Marsh the third and Didi.
Stan three and Didi hugged there uncle Jacob before running into the house.
"Be careful you two." Cat called to the twins.
"Relax, Cat. Its fine."
Jessica stepped into the living room, seven months pregnant.
"lord, I can't wait till this baby, Jacob put in me is finally out ."Jessica said as she rubbed her pregnant stomach.
"Just be glad your not having twins. When I had Stan and Didi, everything was a hundred percent worse. If one baby was asleep in there the other would be up and kicking me inside all night long."
While their wives were talking about pregnancy, Stanley and Jacob looked at each other, both wanting to change the subject before Jessica or cat could try and use memories of pregnancy as a guilt trip against their husband's then surprisingly, their uncle Cartman came to the rescue.
"Hey! Move your asses, im hungry!" Cartman said before driving his rascal back to the kitchen.
"I never thought I'd say this but thank God for uncle Cartman." Jacob whispered it Stanley.
"I know right." Stanley whispered back.
The four walked into the kitchen and past Kevin stoley and his wife Red as they were talking to their daughter, Bertha, and her husband, Dani Tanner. Stan the third and Didi were bouncing on the old knees of their grandfather, Stan marsh the first.
"Dad, take it easy. You only got those new knees two weeks ago." Stanley said to his Dad before taking the twins off his father's knees.
"Oh, will you relax? Let the kids play, your mom and I barely ever get to see 'em." Stan said.
"Your father is right, Stanley." Wendy said as she picked up Stan the third and Didi.
"Mom, come on. Cat and I are very busy now and-"
Stanley stopped talking when the lights began to flicker on and off, Jessica walked in with a huge birthday cake and placed it on the table Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Butters and Tweek were sitting at. The party itself was celebrating their many years of friendship, the center candle was shaped like Kenny since he had died many years ago.
The five old men then blew out the candles and everyone clapped, There children, grandchildren, in laws and closest friends were all there to celebrate Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Butters and Tweek.
Alfred was about to cut a piece of cake for his father, but one of the candles hadn't fully been blown out and his sleeve caught on fire!
"Ack!! I'm on fire, help!"
Seeing his son's sleeve on fire then made Tweek freak out.
"Ack! Fire, someone help my boy!"
"Tweek, be careful, remember your heart condition!" Tweek's wife, Millie Larsen, said just before she opened a bottle of water over her son's flaming sleeve.
The fire went out much too Tweek, Millie and Alfred's relief.
Alfred's fiancé, Rita, ran up to him and held him lovingly.
" Are you ok, Alfie? "
Cartman was the first one to try to grab a piece of cake but his foster son, Herman, took the plate right out of his father's hands.
"Hey! What's the big idea, Herman?"Cartman shouted.
"You know that the doctor said your blood sugar is too high now for cake. If you eat this, then you'll have a heart attack, Dad." Herman said.
"Doctors Don't know shit, i can take it."
"Please don't, Grandpa."
The voice belonged to his granddaughter, Maya. She looked at her grandfather with the innocent eyes of a child, if it has been anyone else who said this he wouldn't have cared, but he always had a soft spot for his granddaughter.
"Fine, just get me something to eat. I'm starving."
While everyone else talking and catching up, cat looked out at the starey night sky. It had been on a night like this that she had finally reveled her true feelings to Stanley, After which he had told her that they should wait awhile until when they were both ready for a relationship. Cat then looked at her family, friends and in laws all gathered in this room then smiled.
It had all been worth the wait.
The end.
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