Hello Everyone! I really wanted to get back to writing this story, I know there are some that have been waiting for updates but I have been crazy busy with work, school and kids!
Please read and review if you would like to.
also...The future chapters I am going to go ahead and rate "M"
Lowenstein rolled over, she had fallen asleep immediately when she and Tom had gotten into bed but had woken up to the sound of Tom's heavy breathing and now she couldn't seem to fall back asleep. Her mind wouldn't stop. She knew where her racing thoughts were coming from but she couldn't seem to get them to stop. She slid hand under her pillow and tried to close her eyes again.
She must have drifted back to sleep because the sound of Tom moaning shook her awake. She turned and saw a pained look on Tom's face, he moaned again and his face twisted in anguish.
"Lowenstein..." He mumbled, his voice zombie like. "Don't let me leave Lowenstein." he whispered
Lowenstein reached out and ran her hand over his shoulder. As she did so she felt her own walls begin to crack slightly. As she laid there staring at Tom she began to realize how selfish she must have seemed to him. When he had left before she had been heart broken and hadn't tried to cover it. Maybe she should have. Maybe letting him know how upset she was about him going home to his family was wrong. She had tried for the last 3 years to justify her behavior when he had left. Even though in reality she had known that going back was the best thing for him and his children. Maybe, she thought what they were doing right now was wrong too.
She exhaled deeply and thought about turning over. But then she noticed that his eyes were open and he was staring at her "What are you thinking?" He asked
She ran her hand along his shoulder again "Funny," she responded "I was going to ask you the same thing."
He blew out the breath that he might have been holding. "Im thinking..." he began and then looked back at her, the words that he was going to say dying in his mouth. He took another deep breath. " Im thinking that you still seem so sad, and that I wonder if part of that sadness is from me."
She pondered him for a moment. The lines around his eyes had grown deeper which was to be expected but he looked older, more solum now than he had before. She smiled slightly "I look said because I am just starting to realize what a terrible spot I put you in 3 years ago, I tried to make you chose between me and your family and that wasn't really fair." She said her voice dropping as she neared the end of the sentence "and then I thought, I am walking right back into doing that to you again." She laughed joylessly "and what an idiot I am." she dropped her eyes and began fiddling with the sheets.
Tom put his hand under her chin and raised her eyes to meet his. "You are many things Lowenstein, but and idiot is not one of them." He pulled her closer to him and kissed her gently. "Everything that has happened between us..." He moved his hand and gripped her shoulders "and everything that will happen between us is a mutual decision."
She dropped her eyes away from his again and smiled coyly. He moved closer again and kissed her again more deeply this time. after a few moments she pulled back shaking her head. "Tom" she whispered "I'm sorry..." she looked down again "But I don't think I can do this again...Not right now..."
She kept her head lowered, not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes. She thought he would argue, she thought he would be angry. But she just heard him exhale and felt the bed shift as he got up. She glanced up and saw him walking towards the front door. "Good bye Lowenstein, If you need me, I am staying at Savannah's apartment." He picked up his jacket and put his hand on the door handle "Come see me..." he opened the door out into the expansive hallway by the elevator "any time..." He finished. and she heard the door click closed behind him.
OK so there is the next chapter I am going to try and keep adding as I get my thoughts together. I hope everyone enjoyed it!