the secrets we all keep
Act One
Fortune Telling Karma
8th January, 1943
Everly was feeling, for the first time in her life, apprehensive about going back to school.
"You sure you won't be sitting on the train with us?" Erebus wondered while they waited for the train to pull in. Around them milled students that had similarly arrived early for boarding.
"Aren't you sick of me already?" Everly asked in an attempt at joking, avoiding the question with a tense tone that belied the truth. She would prefer not to answer what her plans for the train were, especially not in front of, well, not in front of he who shall not be spoken of.
Forever a stickler for being on time, she'd made the three of them come early and by the looks of it, the train wouldn't be showing up for another ten minutes, giving them plenty of time to awkwardly stand in silence. Plenty of time to stew in her thoughts and feelings of stubborn resentment that had seeded since the last time they were all together.
They were ignoring each other now though, and Everly was perfectly content with that.
Dinner last night had been quiet, and breakfast had been dead silent, with neither of them meeting each other's gazes or acknowledging each other's presence. All except for Erebus, who stood in the middle and squirmed with an expression of exasperated dread.
She was quite fine with this.
Not like she wanted to talk to him anyway.
Erebus had gone silent, eyes wide like saucers as he took in Tom and Everly standing nearly a yard apart from each other. Tom stared stonily ahead, indifferent to their conversation and much to her growing annoyance, she couldn't stop glancing at him to check if he was moving and each time there wasn't a change, her ire grew.
It had her perplexed, irritated, and strangely anxious. As if she were waiting for the next foot to drop.
She was accustomed to Tom's behavior, she thought. They'd exchanged scathing retorts more than anyone else she knew. Loathe she was to admit it, it was their... relationship. She was used to his sharp tones, his smug, cocky attitude and general arrogance. For months, they'd gone tit for tat, tooth for tooth in their banter. They looked each other in the eye doing it, too.
So what in Merlin's beard was so different now?
Everly gripped the handle of her luggage, feeling for once rather defensive about the circumstances they were in.
After all, she'd only called him what he was—and was it even such a bad thing to be a half-blood? Sure, she might have used it insultingly, given the context, but wasn't it Tom who saw half-bloods as inferior? She was only trying to point out to him, make him see for himself what he was doing. Hang his beliefs right in front of his eyes.
It wasn't as if she'd gone and called him a mudblood.
Everly swallowed a groan, feeling regret gnaw at her. It confounded her, the feeling.
Maybe it was because the both of them had sort of... gotten closer over the break. That seemed plausible. Maybe some part of her liked their relationship. Was fond of the changes. She'd told him the truth when she said she had fun with him, despite everything.
And she did, she realized. It was fun, talking with him. There was a thrill to it; as if she were on the tip of her toes, never knowing what to expect next with him.
She flushed when she thought of how he'd defended her yesterday to Vanessa. How he'd said they'd settled their differences, and how he'd asked, after that horrid dancing session, why she didn't like him.
But, the truth was, to her utter embarrassment, she sort of... did.
And there was no sense of pride in that; she was ashamed of herself for having felt such a shift in her attitude towards him. It was disgusting to be so fickle and yet here she was, upset he wasn't talking to her.
He was acting like a brat about the name-calling, which wasn't exactly a new practice for either of them. They traded insults all the time—she'd definitely called him worse things, so what was all the fuss about now?
Of course, she knew, albeit belatedly, the realization ushering in with surprise and a disquieting sense of guilt.
What else could make a proud boy like him switch gears so completely? She'd actually hit a sore spot this time around.
Meaning his status as a half-blood was obviously something he was sensitive about.
Not that she blamed him for it; the Wizarding world as a whole didn't exactly look favorably upon half-bloods and Slytherins were the worst about it. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't imagine what it must have been like for him and for a moment, felt her perception of the world shift. It wasn't all that surprising for him to have a complex about it.
She wondered, not for the first time, how it must have felt to enter the Wizarding world with no expectations or context, only to be looked down upon for the matter of your birth. Not to mention his history in the orphanage, how small he must have felt to be faced with something much bigger than him and altogether strange.
It made her recall being young, being a child and being told which friends she should make by her father and grandparents. No names mentioned were ever half-bloods, with even less of a chance being a muggle-born.
Everly wasn't perfect. She used to believe in blood superiority too.
She remembered being eleven, she remembered praying she'd end up in Slytherin to make her father proud. She remembered the hat, the things it whispered in her mind, and the dread that accumulated in her stomach as she waited for the hat to sort her. She was a hatstall, one of the longest on record, and it'd been a humiliating experience for her.
When, clear as day, the word, "RAVENCLAW!" had rung out, her heart had hammered in her chest and throat. She remembered standing up with numb legs and stumbling towards the Ravenclaw table, face red with shame as she sat down with the other first years.
"We have ourselves a Greengrass then?" a second year asked with unmasked surprise. "That's new."
And, for a girl who'd always strived for perfection, it'd felt to her that she'd failed in some way.
Her father's letter congratulating her in her enrollment was laced with thinly-veiled disappointment upon the news of her sorting, and her grandparents suddenly became quite awkward when it came to discussing house relations, always side-eyeing to see her expression.
"We don't mean to say that all Ravenclaws are lazy, nosy know-it-alls," Grandpa Charlie muttered once, upon realizing Everly was in the room. "Only some."
She'd had to get very good at keeping a straight face.
Now that she thought about it, she couldn't clearly recall when all of that changed for her. For the first few years in Ravenclaw, a quiet sense of shame followed her everywhere, driving her to compete with others in her year, if only to be the best in a house that she found no glory in.
A part of Everly had thought that as long as she was the best in her class, then it'd make up for the house she'd been sorted in. She'd been such an idiot to think that, and she'd paid the price.
In the past, she'd been lonely because of it. Because she held herself apart from everyone and looked down on them, she'd struggled to connect with agemates, usually holding conversation better with older students and even then, she couldn't call those relationships friendship. She'd had no friends in the truest sense, only those that she needed to beat out in performance and grades.
And then Alphard came into her life. Or rather, he'd always been there, in the background, but as third years, their rivalry had blossomed into genuine affection. Their retorts turned friendly, they realized they enjoyed each other's company, and came to enjoy even more running the tutoring services they did together.
But she supposed the biggest change occurred when Everly finally opened herself up to her roommate, LilyAnn.
Being a muggle-born, Everly had always felt uncomfortable around her. As first years, she'd openly avoided her, and kept her responses clipped and cool-toned when speaking. They weren't hostile towards each other, just very distant, like she was to everyone else in Ravenclaw. That all changed when Aileua asked to form a study group, and suddenly, Everly found herself a member of a friend group that slowly but surely peeled away her hard shell.
She'd changed so much through the years, and perhaps that was part of why she disliked Tom so damn much. He reminded her of who she used to be, when she let her family's opinions decide what hers were.
Everly flinched as the whistle of the Hogwarts Express cut through the air, announcing its arrival, breaking through the fog of her thoughts. She hadn't realized she'd been so lost and suddenly being dragged back to reality, she was faced with an acute sense of dread in the pit of her gut.
She watched glumly as the train came to a rest, watched the doors open and the conductor step out. Tom and Erebus made to board and Everly's throat clogged as something akin to panic seized her.
"Tom—!"
He turned, their gazes meeting for the first time since their fight. Chills went through her and she suppressed a shudder.
He regarded her coldly, any trace of warmth or smug amusement that she could usually expect was gone. Not even a trace amount. She hadn't even realized until then that the way he looked at her was so completely different from when they first met.
Her stomach knotted in protest and sank when the dots connected in her mind. The first time they ever really spoke was on the train, and suddenly here they were again, everything so different and yet nothing having changed at all.
"What?" he barked when she said nothing.
"I—" Her throat caught on the words. I'm sorry, she wanted to say, but something held her back from it.
Merlin, she knew what it was too.
Her gigantuous pride.
Tom scoffed, twisted his mouth into a sneer and turned away, completely dismissing her.
Anger and embarrassment in equal parts flared within her. Anger, because couldn't he see she was trying? And embarrassment, because, bugger it all, she was trying and now that she thought of it, what was the point in that?
She didn't have to act suddenly nice. That would be admitting she even wanted to make nice, and for what bloody reason did she have to do that?
Oh, for the love of—
This was all so maddening!
She tightened her hold on her luggage, watched with narrowed eyes as Tom boarded without so much as a second glance at her. Erebus flailed a bit, fidgeting and giving every effort to convey a message with his gaze, troubled. She didn't budge from where she stood and soon he gave up with a petulant pout, waving her off.
Everly waited a good minute before following after, straightening her spine and clearing her throat, mustering her dignity.
In that moment, she felt completely and utterly like a child.
.
.
Steven Calloway was as nervous as ever around her.
"Our duty was easy enough this time around," she commented idly after the both of them had checked the student rosters.
"W-what?" His eyes were wide, fixated on her, cheeks lightening considerably the longer she studied him.
If there was anything Everly loathed in conversation more, it was repeating herself. "Our duty," she said through slightly gritted teeth, "was easy this time."
"O-oh. Right. It was!" Steven laughed, sounding much more like a nervous titter.
At this, she sighed. It wasn't like she disliked him—it's just that she didn't know how to act around him. She figured he fancied her and while that wasn't bad in and of itself, it certainly was confounding. She didn't want to be rude, though admittedly she was rather short with him when they interacted.
For that matter, it made her wonder, just what did he see in her?
Was it just her face that he liked?
"Hey," she muttered, curiosity getting the best of her. "Do I make you nervous?"
She realized belatedly it perhaps wasn't best to put him on the spot like that, but nevertheless, she gave him an expectant look, awaiting his reply.
"Er..." He hesitated, looking a little green in the face the longer she stared. After what felt like an entire eternity had passed, he released a long, shaky sigh and nodded, a defeated slump affecting his shoulders.
"Why?"
He surprised her with a genuine answer, his eyes growing wider with wonder. "Because you're perfect."
It was her turn to stutter. "Per-perfect?"
"Yeah," he said weakly.
"I'm not," she whispered, surprised by how disgruntled the sentiment made her.
She had never been nice to him, not really. Not nice enough to be called such a word. And it made her think, as most things lately did, of Tom, when he'd implied he also thought her perfect.
Somehow, it'd been the very thing she'd been chasing after for years, ever since her sister died. That impossible ideal. To be pretty, smart, kind and perfect. Just like the mother she saw in photographs and vague memories and the sister that had passed away, a mere shade of the beauty she'd once been, gaunt and thin to the bone.
But try as she might, struggling like a worm on the ground, she just couldn't become them. Not even to meet her father's expectations, who always stared at her, as if hoping to see someone else.
No amount of studying, makeup, or faked laughter could get her there. Her entire life was spent trying to be someone else, and she'd forgotten everything about the person she actually was, or could have been.
Cheeks hot, a realization came to her.
Everly Greengrass, that girl beneath the shadow of others long passed, would have never kissed Tom Riddle.
And yet, that Everly Greengrass would have never felt as alive as she'd felt when kissing him. Nor would she have felt so much in her chest that she could actually cry, when she wanted to cry, instead of holding every little thing back from scrutiny.
Discovering she was truly a person like that, perfection seemed utterly impossible.
And now, hearing it, Everly couldn't help but feel as if she'd fooled everyone. Perfect made her think of her sister's gentle temperament, and a voice that never raised or sharpened.
It struck her oddly, that rather than Tom revealing his true colors, it had been her.
Combative and short tempered, nitpicking and judgemental, envious of others and filled with desires, that was the kind of person she was.
"I'm not perfect," she said, with more confidence as she looked again towards Steven.
"Well, you're the closest thing I know to it," he said sincerely, with warmth in his gaze.
Her cheeks filled with heat. She couldn't bring herself to be angry at his earnest expression, realizing how uselessly she'd criticized him before. When all he'd done was like her, without demanding a thing.
In shame, it dawned on her that he'd never believed the rumors about her, nor had he taken advantage of them, like others had. His expression around her had never changed.
But as she was, truthfully, she still couldn't bring herself to thank him.
"I... I admire your candor," she replied, at a complete lack of a sensible response.
Steven simply smiled at her, as if aware she was at a loss for words.
And she found herself returning the smile.
.
.
Everly searched for Alphard the very second she got off the train, desperate to see him after everything that had happened, attempting to shake everything weighing on her off, and was pleasantly surprised to find that he'd had similar thoughts.
"Ever!" he called just as her eyes landed on him.
"Al!" she squealed, unable to contain her relief and excitement at the sight of him as she crossed the distance between them and weaved between students making their way towards the entrance to Hogwarts.
"I think it's the worst idea we've ever had, to be apart," he told her with deep affection before bringing her in for a tight hug. She sunk into it and breathed in his comforting cedar scent. It was a moment of calm for her, a brief respite from the badgering of her thoughts.
She snickered at his dramatics, pulling away enough to look in his eyes. "But you know already I'd never choose to be without you."
Alphard's face twisted. "Our unfortunate star-crossed destiny, I'm afraid. First, your father is denying our love, and now our educators are plotting to keep us apart! We must do something about this, Ever."
"Alright, alright, enough pretend," Everly cut in with a giggle, sliding her arm around his back to steer him towards Hogwarts. "I missed you."
"Er, not that I'm not flattered, but did something happen? Because you're being particularly honest today with your softer emotions."
"Oh, not much," she replied skittishly.
"Does it have anything to do with why Riddle is glaring at us?"
She jolted, sweeping her gaze around them. "He is?"
Sure enough, Tom was a few feet away, eyes trained on them.
Again her stomach protested.
She quickly pretended that her gaze had never met his.
"I might have gone too far in one of my insults to him."
"Hm? Is that all?"
"It's strange to me too," she mumbled. "We were... kind of..."
"Kind of?"
"I wouldn't say we were getting along, but our arguments weren't... arguments."
"Ev? That's not how language works."
"No, I mean, our arguments weren't really arguments, it was more... teasing? We had a heart to heart, if you could picture it."
"I can't, the mental image alone of Tom Riddle bearing his heart to anyone makes me physically ill."
"Fair enough, I can't say I thought he was capable of it either. Not that he completely opened up, it was really just that I got underneath his skin enough to get some answers out of him."
"Answers?"
"Yes, and of course they only gave me more questions. Merlin, I hate him."
Except she knew she didn't.
.
.
At last settled in her room, Everly laid on her bed petting Paper as the cat nestled and purred on her chest. "So did you receive that parcel alright?" she asked Aileua, who was thumbing through a book about magical creatures, sitting on LilyAnn's vacant bed.
Aileua glanced up, a small smile gracing her face. "I did!"
"Did you forget to write to me?" Everly asked with a bit of a smirk.
Aileua reddened. "I'd forgotten to bring ink with me."
Giggling at this news, Everly shifted on her bed to get a better look at the girl. "So? How were the effects of the potion?"
At this, Aileua's eyes flashed and her entire form surged with energy as she stood from the bed and landed on Everly's with an excited 'oomph'.
"They were absolutely marvelous!" she began, beaming. "At first I wasn't sure, because, well, it's a luck potion to achieve one's goals, right? But what if what you wanted to do was the impossible? What if Gilbert was right after all, what if the Nivalis Geimhreadh didn't exist? What if there just wasn't enough luck in the world?"
"And then?"
"And then I drank the potion!"
Everly sat up straighter. "Leua, don't you dare leave anything out."
"Of course!" Aileua was vibrant as she dug through one of her bags and produced a wad of papers. "So, as soon as I returned, I wrote as much as I could remember down. I was preparing to send it off as a letter to you, but it hasn't been checked yet for mistakes and I lost much of my time helping my parents deal with the aftermath. If you'd like, you can read it as is, or wait for my edits."
"Aftermath?" Everly echoed, intrigued.
Turns out, as Aileua put it in the unsent letter, the mythical beast they'd searched long and hard for turned out to be as real as any other. It hadn't been easy, but with the combination of a luck potion and being in the right place, she'd found herself venturing deep into lands that had looked to be forgotten. With her had been her disbelieving brother, who'd complained the entire way as Aileua took them through difficult terrain, and somehow found herself surefooted despite not having the physicality or experience to climb mountains.
Every step was lucky.
Much followed after that and admittedly, Everly found herself skimming quickly, reading how the two siblings had to first get a three-headed goat's horn in order to cross over an invisible boundary line, which itself was a trial because what three-headed goat was miraculously wandering around?
They found it by accident, when the sure-footed Aileua lost balance on a particularly difficult climb and fell, incurring mild scrapes and bruises but luckily found herself stopped in front of a large tomb. It just so happens that the invisible boundary they were crossing had been made purposely to keep the Nivalis Geimhreadh safe, and Aileua had come across the very witch's grave who'd performed such magic. At first look, however, they hadn't realized it was a tomb—"Otherwise, we would have turned back. No search is worth disturbing the rest of such a kind witch, but we hadn't known..."—and it was only when entering did they find the horn set atop an eroded stone burial. The inscription on the stone had filled in much of the information they had, and filled a lot of the gaps of information they'd had going in.
From there, it was easy enough to leave the tomb and find the path to the Eden for Mythical Beasts and Creatures, as the witch had dubbed it. With the goat's horn in hand, they'd entered into a land that almost seemed separated from time. Almost another world entirely, it was a place that seemed to stretch forever, despite the mountainous terrain they'd been on previously, and perfectly chilled, a sweet wind in the air.
In the end, they'd seen it at a distance. What everyone had thought extinct or a myth, was found roaming innocently—but not just that, it co-existed with several other species, even fauna that they'd never seen before and could only guess to its rarity, was teeming in the land of Eden.
"And?"
"And we were followed! By this awful man, Tedrick Billoughby! Initially we'd planned just to visit Eden, just to confirm its existence and leave it alone. We'd planned to do the moral thing, and keep the information we'd learned private amongst our family, not to impose on this incredible discovery—but all that was ruined by that man! Oh, Everly, it's awful, he made a right mess of it all—my brother had to duel him in Eden! But that wasn't the end of it, when he lost, he made an even bigger problem for my parents and tried to contest that it was his discovery, so he had rights to determine what happened to the creatures."
Everly blinked in her amazement. "How had he followed you? How'd he know what you were after?"
"Oh, he's been a stalker of my parents since I was in nappies! He's been trying to get in on my parent's research for ages, and though we'd thought we'd steered clear of him, I suppose he'd gotten quite skilled at playing a sneak."
She frowned at that. "He didn't hurt you, right? He didn't succeed in stealing the Eden?"
"Oh, no, my brother is not to be messed with in a duel, he's quite fast at casting and he's always been very athletic... Tedrick is currently in custody of my brother, actually. My family has yet to decide what to do with him, as they'd have to explain the circumstances if they turned him into the Ministry, but what ruin might the Ministry bring if they found the Eden? So that's a secret you must keep for now."
Everly nodded hurriedly. "Of course!"
While it was slightly concerning that the Lovegood family was keeping prisoners, circumstances as they were, Everly didn't mind too much abetting them in the crime. Especially not when she was already overwhelmed with everything else in her life.
"Keep me updated though?" she asked out of concern. "If you need me for anything, I'm here."
Aileua smiled serenely at this. "Thank you, this sentiment is reciprocated. I will find a way to repay you for the felix felicis!"
"For all the trouble it's put you in, there's no such thing! Besides, it was a gift," she murmured with a flush of guilt to her face.
Only, Aileua kept smiling, a somewhat secretive smile.
23rd January, 1943
In the weeks that followed their return to Hogwarts, Everly was preparing herself for most anything.
She knew Tom wasn't one to leave things alone; he'd retaliate, somehow. She'd first assumed though, that the rumors might increase in vehemence, or new ones would be created. She'd assumed later, when that didn't seem to be the case, that hex attacks could be around any corner.
But nothing happened.
In fact, the rumors seemed entirely forgotten during the Christmas break. She could walk through halls without odd looks, almost invisible to the eyes of the other students and professors. It was an eerie feeling, having gone from being seen, recognized, and shamed, to nothing.
She felt almost like a ghost, but she knew firsthand that ghosts received far more attention than she'd been as of late, with the exception of the girls in her dorm that still sought her advice.
Everly found that though she liked this reprieve, she simply couldn't relax in it.
She'd developed a knot in the back of her neck as a result that refused to be massaged out, her shoulders tensed on every patrol and walk to classes.
She didn't see much of Tom, a stark contrast to the first part of the year where he'd been everywhere, as if he'd been doing it purposely, if the absence of him was anything to go by. He'd even stopped attending as a tutor, claiming to the club that he'd grown much too busy for the end of year exams to help others.
Interest in her tutoring club waned not long after, only a handful of underclassmen continuing to attend that hadn't been there to get to know the prince of Slytherin. Her work load decreased as a result when she'd feared the opposite, and found herself with hours in the evening that she didn't know what to do with.
LilyAnn was still petrified and Aileua preferred her free evenings to read books, something Everly didn't seem to have the patience for anymore, unless she was forcing herself to read ahead in her classes, which inevitably she did.
That self-compelled effort not going unnoticed, Professor Merrythought even held her back in class one day to comment, "It's nice that the old Everly has returned! Enjoying your classes again?" Everly had smiled bashfully, and quickly escaped.
In fact, it was the very opposite. She was more bored than ever in her classes and had to force herself out of bed in the mornings to apply her makeup. These days, even that seemed like a chore.
During all of this, she saw very little of Tom.
If she did see him, he was quickly gone, a flash of dark in the corners of her eyes. Or tables away at meal times, never looking her way.
It was only her that'd been outcasted, too. Erebus sat next to him for every meal, as if glued to his side. He seemed happy, talking with all of his upperclassmen, as if he truly were the favorite first year.
And Everly didn't actually know what to do. If Tom would never look her away again, what happened next?
She kept replaying their moments together, in the time where her mind eased and the thoughts came unbidden. She recalled even the sound of the song, when he'd stepped on her feet dancing, and the grin on his face when they'd played in the snow. His accent that had changed when revealing muggle history.
Him defending her to Vanessa.
How had it already been weeks since they'd last talked?
"Ever, just remember, he's a prat," Alphard kept telling her, when she'd stare in their Astronomy class. "And an evil one at that."
"I know it," she said to him, a growing frustration she had with herself as she was ignored. Tom wasn't a nice person, she'd always known it. So, why?
It hadn't even been the faux charm he put on that had swayed her so much, rather, it was that teasing, knowing smirk and those moments of clarity, where she felt as if he was seconds away from revealing everything.
It itched, to think she'd been the one to reveal everything instead.
"I swear he keeps looking too," Alphard whispered in her ear.
Except, she couldn't quite catch him in the act, save for the weight of a gaze that disappeared when she turned to look back.
As she'd often thought in the past, things would be so much easier if she were a Slytherin. She could have confronted him by now and even if they fought, anything would have been better than the waiting game she was playing.
Waited, she did.
But as things often were when related to Tom Riddle, it seemed fate had to interject once more.
In the form of an invitation.
January 24th, 1943
Professor Slughorn was eager for another dinner, if his exuberant praise of her admittedly perfected potion was anything to go by, and it somehow brought a smile to her face.
While the professor seemed to worship the ground Tom walked on, Tom hadn't even thought to have him exclude her. A weak point he hadn't even realized was one.
Everly took full advantage.
"Thank you, everyone, for attending this meal! I'm absolutely delighted!" The bright cheer on his pudgy face had Everly grimacing as she looked across the table at Tom, who pointedly spoke in whispers to the girl beside him.
Vanessa Travers. A girl who just kept popping up.
She giggled at what he said, sneaking a side glance at Everly, certainly on purpose just to irritate her, if that smile was anything to go by.
It went completely under Professor Slughorn's nose as he went around the table to everyone, almost in order of importance as he first greeted Tom and seemed to go down the list of seniority on whose parents held which position in the Ministry.
It was Everly's turn quicker than she would have preferred, Slughorn continuing to ooze praise at her work ethic, and how well both Greengrass siblings performed. Which seemed to make Vanessa laugh a great deal when overhearing.
Everly gritted her teeth but kept her smile pretty as she gave proper thanks for the compliments.
Unfortunately, she was on her own here, with Alphard nor Aileua having received invitations, the only Ravenclaw present, with the majority being in Slytherin, and a measly two of them in Gryffindor. At least one of them was the fifth year boy's prefect, Presley Longbottom, and the other, the current head girl, Samantha Weasley.
She knew by second-hand accounts that they were both competent and both filled with that sense of heroic justice that Gryffindor were often known for. Especially Presley Longbottom, whose reputation proceeded him wherever he went, with his honor-bound code of conduct.
He never discriminated, even as a pureblood, and reached out his hand to anyone who needed a hand up. She'd never actually spoken to him before, but she'd seen him during Quidditch matches, one of the star players on the team, but defied any bullheaded jock status by being an outspoken champion for other's rights and being an adequate student.
Presley was also known, perhaps more than anything else, for his looks. A late-bloomer in most aspects, Presley had been liked for his jovial, welcoming personality, before subsequently shedding any baby fat by his fourth year and, molded by his active sport, he'd grown tall and bulky, his angular face becoming timelessly handsome with his heavy brows and long-lashed and sweet brown eyes.
He smiled at Everly when she met his gaze and even she wasn't entirely unaffected by the good-natured charm of it.
For a moment, she imagined a different reality where she'd somehow been connected on a shared path with Presley, how different that would be like. If he'd whisper sweet-nothings and mean them, if he'd stand up for justice alongside her, and do anything to make her laugh. A love like a muggle romance novel, where she wouldn't have to feel...
Everly smiled at Presley, a slow one that spread across her face in time with the red that filled his cheeks, her eyes attentive to him as she said a quiet greeting to him.
"Fellow prefect, I don't believe we've had much chance to speak before," she murmured, somehow emboldened when remembering the look on Vanessa's face as Tom talked to her. Where her hand had been, resting on his forearm as he'd leaned in to whisper to her.
Everly, having no prior experience with jealousy so terrible, didn't know what to do with herself. When she'd liked Alphard, it hadn't been this painful, and Everly resented herself for it, how she couldn't control even her own emotional responses, or turn off the feelings like Tom did so easily.
So when Presley's eyes seemed to light up with interest at her words, and he'd turned in his chair to fully address her, Everly did what she'd never done before when first meeting a boy—Everly flirted.
"I don't know if you'll believe it, but as I've gone to every Quidditch game since attending Hogwarts, I find myself watching your performance more than anyone else's. Truthfully, I've never seen a student play the Seeker role as well as you have! I fear someday I might not even root for my house anymore, as long as you're playing."
Presley's smile spread into a grin, his sweet eyes twinkling, and in a deep rumble, asked, "D'ya mean it, Miss Everly?"
She nodded, turning shy. "It's very fun to watch when you're on the field... Even my brother's a big fan—when he was first allowed to attend a game, he wouldn't stop talking about you. Once he's of age to play, I'm sure he'll do his best to catch your attention, as he's looked up to you for years. I'll have to ask for your understanding in the future."
Presley rubbed at his neck, ducking his head with some embarrassment, but looking rather pleased with himself all the same. "I'll be sure to look after him when he does, Miss Everly."
"Oh, you can just call me Ever," she told him and then couldn't help but meet Tom's gaze before saying with a gentle smile, "It would be nice to make friends with another house prefect."
"Alright, I'll do that, Ever. Feel free to call me Lee—"
"Oh, Merlin," Vanessa cut in loudly with a sneer. "Ever and Lee, you know, there's such a thing as being subtle, but the two of you have names that are absolutely meant for each other—how cute! Neither of your parents had taste and I'd really like to know, what's that like?"
Professor Slughorn gasped, seemingly caught between chiding her and also expecting Everly's response. And didn't seem to be expecting the lack of one, when Everly ignored her, smile still sweet as she nodded at Presley and said, "I'll do that, then."
Presley, who seemed tense, followed her lead in ignoring Vanessa. "I heard about your study club. Would it be terrible of me to admit that I might just be needing some help for these upcoming exams?"
Everly was genuinely surprised. "If you would like to, of course you're welcome to join."
"Ah, that study group! It's quiet effective," Slughorn mused. "Students that struggle in Potions, suddenly excel once Everly here teaches them. More than once, I feel that upon her graduation, it'll be my last day teaching here!" He chortled at the joke, but Everly wasn't laughing.
She'd always considered Slughorn's teaching to be subpar, especially to the children neglected by the circumstances of their birth. Most of her lessons had been given to muggle-borns and the financially despondent, the crack that the professor refused to look at or address.
Some part of her wanted to snap at him, tell him off for every crushed expression a student came to her with when they thought there was no hope for their failing Potions grade. For the time Hagrid wept in front of her, afraid he would fail her expectations.
She opened her mouth.
"Ever."
She looked at Tom, feeling stifled by his cold gaze.
"Are you having fun tonight?" he asked.
Everly demurely nodded, taking a sip of her drink, and looking at him over the rim. "It's fun."
"Professor Slughorn, isn't it so nice to have Ever here? You did well inviting her," Tom said, his expression feigning gratitude.
The professor chortled to himself, pleased by the praise. "How could I leave Miss Everly out?" He turned to her, a grin stretched across his face. "I'm glad you were able to make it, even being as busy as you are!
"Not too busy to ignore a dinner invite from one of my professors," she said, and added, her tone purposefully soft, "Although... I am here for a reason."
"Oh? Did you have something to ask?" Professor Slughorn asked, even as he leaned further in, as if he couldn't get enough of the drama that was unfolding, especially as he noticed Everly rising from her chair.
Uncomfortable as she was to see an adult watching them like a play, Everly walked around to the table and stopped at Tom's side.
"You've proven to be especially elusive lately," she said quietly, and then held out a hand. "Could I have a moment in private? There's something we need to discuss."
Everly watched the emotions on his face war, even as he attempted to keep smiling. Under the watchful eyes of those around them, she watched his internal battle debating his options.
Ultimately, Tom shrugged, sliding his seat back and ignoring her offered hand as he got up to follow her.
"Of course, I'd be thrilled to, Ever. It has been too long, hasn't it?"
Everly grimaced, but didn't add anything until the two of them had left the room and found themselves in the empty corridor. Other students would still be having their meal, or in their rooms studying, but even so, Everly was still careful of her words, worried over the chance of someone eavesdropping.
"There was something you wanted to say?" Tom asked, that charming facade disappearing as soon as he looked at her, arms crossed. A sneer replaced it.
"Yes, there is." But Everly struggled to get the words out, even after everything.
"Well, what is it? Just spit it out—we don't have all night." His tone was scathing, but Everly didn't flinch, only sighing as she looked at him, defeated.
It was better to get it over with.
"For what it's worth, Tom, I'm sorry."
He stared.
She shifted uncomfortably. "Because you're right. I shouldn't have kept antagonizing you the way I did. I shouldn't have... called you in such a way. I know it upsets you."
Tom shook his head, his brows furrowing. "I don't believe you mean that."
"I do." She sighed. "But I suppose you're right to doubt me. We haven't exactly seen each other eye to eye on anything."
"It's not just that."
"What else could it be?"
"You know, Everly, despite what you like to think, the both of us have a great deal in common. We really are more similar than we are different, if you think about it."
Tom smiled at her then, seeming to enjoy the stunned expression on her face.
"Both of us have a certain... tenacity, when it comes to getting the things we want. You're intelligent, you're great in any social setting, and you have a pride that others can't seem to replicate. Beauty, elegance, charm... Birthright."
"I don't—."
"And you're very selfish. Did you know that?" Tom asked, but didn't wait for a response. "More than anyone else I've ever met, almost more than I am, you're so selfish."
"I know," she gritted out.
"I don't exist to be the person you want me to be."
"Tom, I'm just trying to warn you—."
"Of what I'll become? Everly, that's not up to you to decide."
"Please," she whispered, stricken with the thought of him becoming the worst version of himself, the version from her nightmares. "Tom, I know it's up to you! But still—."
"I think it's time we ended things between us, for good," he bit out.
"Tom, can't you just hear me out? Just once? I'll tell you everything, I'll tell you the future, just, please! I'm scared. I know it's impossible to show you what I saw, but you have to know, this path you're on, you'll be—."
Tom let out a groan, turning away from her. "Not this again. I'm tired of it!"
"You're right, I'm selfish, Tom. I really am. It's why I can't just give up on you. I can help—!"
"Help by staying away," he said darkly, not looking back at her as he attempted to walk away.
Everly didn't want to be the type to leave things unsaid. And how could she just let him go?
She reached out to him, grabbing him by the wrist with both hands. When he went to wrench it away, she pulled him towards her, her hands caging him as she dragged them towards somewhere more private—a supply closet she'd once found fellow fifth years in, and the memory served to mock her.
She cast an advanced lock charm on the door before turning to him with her wand lit up with a cast of lumos.
"Why, this is daring, even for you," Tom said, tone scalding.
Her scowl deepened.
"Tom, you're being... childish about this."
He sneered. "About what?"
"Tommy," she murmured, expression falling, the nickname coming unbidden.
She felt him stiffen.
"Miss Greengrass, this is no place for that. I think you've misunderstood our time at your estate—and I thought you were smarter than that."
Her cheeks flamed in embarrassment, but that didn't stop her anger from talking for her.
"What have I misunderstood exactly? That you're so sensitive to the truth that you can't even look at me anymore?"
Tom scoffed, rolled his eyes. "The truth?"
"That you're a half-blood."
At that, he smirked. "I wouldn't say I'm being sensitive."
"Then how would you put it?"
"I simply grew bored of you, dear Evy. It was never meant to last in the first place, and we both knew it. Let's just consider our time together as only a brief fancy. After all, as you keep telling me, I'm not even liked by you."
She burst into laughter.
"Bored? Bored?" Everly kept laughing, feeling as if her gut was being split, the entire notion too funny to her, even if it were true.
Which she knew it wasn't.
"Oh, no, Tom, that's not what that was," she said lowly, between laughs. Everly stepped close to him, maintaining eye contact as she pressed a hand to his chest. "Is that all you thought it was? Did you think you could run from me, after everything?"
Something flickered in his eyes, his brows furrowing. "Then in your oh-so important opinion, what could it possibly be?"
Everly laughed again, soft and throaty. "How could you possibly not know yourself?"
"Miss Greengrass, I wasn't the one who dragged you into a grimy supply closet. In fact, more than two weeks, and I haven't even thought about you."
"Is that what you're telling yourself?" Everly snorted.
"Ah, so you think you know everything about me now? A delusional notion, but I suppose if you're so obsessed with me, that's just natural."
Everly smiled at that. "Yes, my obsession, having delusions would only be the natural step forward, correct? Let's call it that. I delusionally think that you're afraid."
It was Tom's turn to laugh, the sound of his so much meaner and full. A forced sound.
"Afraid? What could I possibly be afraid of?"
"What you feel for me."
"You mean nothing to me."
"Ah, is that so? No longer a raging bull? I didn't understand then, but I do now. Those animals rage at the color of red and charge forward. And I only wear red lipstick."
Tom's cheeks burned, more so than she'd ever seen, even if light was only casted by her wand and shadows warred across the expressions he went through at her unexpected words.
"A joke. You took that seriously?"
"Will you take it as a joke if I kissed you now?"
"Aha, so you did pull me in here to snog, how utterly bold. But alas, any more kisses, and your delusions will become severe."
Everly smiled, a soft one, her tone even softer as she said, "It was an ill-fate, ever meeting you. But I don't think I regret it. Truthfully, pulling you in here, I simply wanted to thank you, before we let everything end for good."
"Thank… me? Is this a joke?"
"Honestly, I ask myself the same thing. The endless annoyance of being near you, I still had a lot of fun."
"Ever," Tom interjected, his brows drawn tight in confusion. "Do you sincerely need an admittance into St. Mungos?"
She shook her head at the irony. "I'm sure that place is in my future, Tom. I'm a seer that spoke prophecy after all. All of their minds go in the end."
His face turned stricken at that, the first sign of his actual thoughts as he looked at her.
"You should be careful, Tom. I wasn't lying when I told you, but I'll say it again, stay on the path you're on, and meet your end without even a soul to claim, and only death and destruction in your wake. You will never know love like this."
"Is that certain?"
"Tom, I can't make your choices, but if you turn to evil, when you feel your victory is on the horizon, with all your sacrificed pawns scattered beneath your feet, it will all have been for nothing. You won't exist long after that, completely erased. That is all I can see for you."
"This sounds like you won't be interfering."
It sounded like a goodbye even to her own ears.
"I've already told you. Even if I could possibly love you, I wouldn't think that I could do anything to change you. That is something you must do for yourself. We both know this."
"That's not… That's not… I don't believe you," he said, his expression dark. "You're already trying, that's all you've ever done. You can't stand the real me, you only want me to change! That vague word, as if I could cast a spell on myself and be a different person! I wasn't able to love from the very start!"
Everly cupped one of his cheeks with her hand, stilling him.
"You know it yourself, then, that's the reason you keep up appearances, completely erasing your real self to be liked by others and use them. The reason why you've never had a real friend. Tom, even if you were loved by millions, as long as there is not a single person in your own heart, you'll remain empty."
Tears brimmed in his eyes, but they didn't fall, his expression furious.
"I won't be interfering. These are your choices to make. I've been arrogant thinking I could save the people you'll hurt, but a seer is only here for a warning. And none of them have ever claimed they could change the future."
With that, she unlocked the spell on the door, doused the light on her wand, and pocketed it before reaching for the knob.
Only for him to take a shot in the dark to grab her wrist and pull her body to him. He held her, squeezed her against him tightly and felt like he was shaking in her arms.
When their eyes adjusted enough to see vague shapes, Tom brought a finger to her cheek. And then he kissed her.
Sweetly, tenderly. But almost mechanically before the kiss deepened and her toes curled. He kissed her sincerely, his hands on her like he wouldn't ever let go.
It was then that he pulled away, when she wasn't yet ready, and snapped open the door, escaping without a second glance at her as the door slid shut.
She sank to her knees in the closet.
It was with a sick feeling in her gut that she realized it and finally understood what had been hanging over her head since that night before the fire pit. Why she was a hypocrite who wanted him to be good, why she worried about him.
What she was feeling for Tom—what it was that felt like a vise grip on her heart, what made it hard to breathe when he was around, what made her chase after him like an idiot and why she needed so badly to know more about him, what reacted inside of her when they bickered and the frustration when he ignored her.
She liked him, more than any other crush she'd ever had.
But in that same thought, she also knew. This couldn't be love.
chapter eleven - end
Somehow a song reminded me of this story and I had to finish this chapter, that had the bulk of it written between bouts of inspiration over the few years I haven't updated. I honestly don't know when the next update will come, if anyone is still looking for updates, but check out Karma by Sarah Kinsley, the lyrics really made me think of Everly's feelings for Tom. It thusly decided on the title of this chapter!
Another thing to note is that I still intend to finish this story! Updates will be very slow, as I juggle a full time job and my terribly tiny internal battery (writing is both energy and time consuming!). That being said, act one will be coming to a close soon with at least two more chapters, and in the interim I'll be editing previous chapters for grammar and spelling, so those rereading will have a nicer time of it.
I'd also like to issue a personal apology to sorc. I wanted to update much sooner, just for you! If you happen to read this update, I hope it didn't disappoint! Thinking that someone was still waiting helped motivate me, so thank you very much and I'm very sorry for the wait ;A;
- also ps, the cover is an updated everly portrait that my sister drew for me!