The pot of Earl Grey tea had long since gone cold by the time he had finished speaking. Severus watched Cassie closely as she processed everything that he had told her, deep in thought and holding a half full cup of cold tea against her lips.
"I can make some more," he offered, reaching for the teapot.
"Huh?" Cassie looked up at Severus, then back down at her cup, "Oh! No, no thank you."
There was a twist in his stomach at her words, she seemed distracted and absent. Maybe telling her everything hadn't been the best thing, but he'd had no choice. There was no moving forward if he didn't let her in.
"Will you say something?" he implored quietly.
"I'm trying to find the words," she sipped at the cold tea and grimaced.
"That doesn't sound good."
Cassie set her cup down and propped her elbows on her knees, "No, I mean, I want to say the right thing to you. I don't want you to think I'm freaked out."
"I would be rather concerned if you weren't."
"I'm definitely feeling something, this just isn't what I expected to feel."
"Care to elaborate?"
Cassie sat back against the couch, sucking in a deep breath that filled Severus with dread.
"I don't know how to express this. I'm angry that you didn't just tell me, but I can see why you didn't. To have lived with that for over a decade, never knowing who you can trust."
His stomach unknotted itself at her words, it wasn't quite the verbal lashing that he had expected, "I had Albus."
"People must have treated you terribly."
"For the most part, yes. I guess they think me incapable of redemption, once a Death Eater always a Death Eater."
"I'd like to think that even if someone told me who you were when I came here, that I wouldn't think of you that way."
"I wouldn't have blamed you if you did, I was rather mean to you."
"Yes, mean... and ill-tempered, crotchety, cantankerous, gr-" Cassie listed, counting the insults on her fingers before she was cut off.
"I- I get the point, I'm a horrible man," Severus said, shifting in his chair.
"Not horrible, no. You are who you are. You push people away because it's easier than having to explain yourself."
"It's not exactly light conversation, I appreciate you making excuses for me, but I chose that path. This is my burden to bear."
"People can change Severus, you changed. You don't have to live in the shadows anymore."
"And what if I prefer the shadows?"
"Then I'll be there with you."
"I cannot ask that of you."
"You're not asking me to, I'm telling you that I will."
"I do not deserve your kindness after everything I did."
"I think you deserve it more than most."
A beam of sunlight shone through a gap in the curtains, illuminating specks of dust in the air between them. Cassie ran a hand through the shaft of light, "The sun shines in Cokeworth, would you believe it."
She leapt up from her seat, startling Severus, "Let's go somewhere, anywhere. Some place that isn't near my parents or in this depressing town."
"Shouldn't we continue talking?" Severus asked, though he knew that wasn't what he really wanted.
"I think you've done enough talking for one day... and my brain can only handle so much."
Severus furrowed his brow, "I thought you would have preferred to figure all of this out."
"What is there to figure out? Everything you have told me is in the past now, I've made my decision. I know that you're worried that I'm not handling this, but I am. You've done your part; the rest is on me."
"Did you have somewhere in mind?"
Confusion flashed across Cassie's features for a moment, "Oh... you mean to go to? Yes, actually, I have the perfect place in mind. It was my Aunt's house, she passed it to my father when she died. My parents very rarely go there. They send the house elves once a month to keep it in shape, but we'd have the place to ourselves. It's on an island, completely deserted, beautiful views."
"Then what are we waiting for?"
Cassie laughed, "This doesn't sound like the Severus I know."
"I'm learning to be... Spontaneous," he said, waving his wand and taking hold of a small trunk that had appeared at his feet.
Cassie held out her arm, "Spontaneous is good."
And they disapparated with loud pop, right from the living room of Spinner's End.
Their arrival at Cassie's intended destination was less than smooth. Their feet were submerged under several inches of water as they apparated in, the grass was waterlogged and muddy. A strong wind buffeted them and heavy raindrops splashed against their exposed skin.
"Lovely weather," Severus shouted over the roar of the wind and waves, shielding his face from the rain.
"How was I supposed to know!" Cassie yelled back, trying to smooth her soaked dress down as it switched between clinging to her skin and billowing about wildly.
"I strongly suggest that we move," Severus replied, he held his wand towards the sky as bluish wisps of light flowed from the tip until they were partially shielded from the downpour.
"I agree."
The stone house stood alone on a small teardrop shaped island, surrounded by a small, shale and sand beach. Tall tufts of marram grass grew from a row of dunes that bordered the beach in a small semicircle. A narrow, cobbled path snaked its way through tall grass and wildflowers. Severus could see Thrift and Sea Campion thrashing about in the wind.
As they reached the grey stone walls of the empty house Cassie whipped out her wand, "The door, it won't just open. I have to unlock it."
The weathered oak door was decorated with large pyramid studs and metal strap hinges, it was old yet it still looked imposingly sturdy. Cassie tapped four of the studs that were at each corner of the door, then traced a pattern in the centre with her wand. Loud scrapes and clunks sounded from the other side of the door, as if someone on the inside were opening heavy bolts. Finally, the door swung open with a low groan.
"Maybe something a little less complex would be better," Severus complained as droplets fell from his robes onto the stone floor of the hallway.
Cassie rolled her eyes and motioned for him to follow her through an open doorway, waving her wand to open the shutters on the windows. The large living room was filled with a dull light and the rain pattered against the uncovered windowpanes.
Severus looked around as Cassie lit a fire in a sizeable stone fireplace, the interior was slightly crowded yet neat. Bookcases stood tall against painted stone walls, an oversized navy-blue sofa was sat before the fireplace, an off-white rug at its feet, and plants stood in pots in every available corner of the room.
"My Aunt was something of herbologist, you should see the garden. It's a shame she never found a plant to protect against being struck by lightning," Cassie explained, giggling awkwardly at her last comment.
Severus made a confused face at her macabre humour.
"Oh don't look at me like that, I never really knew her, she spent all her time isolated here."
The fire had now taken hold of several logs and was crackling invitingly. Cassie was tugging a large quilt from behind the sofa, her dress was clung to the curves of her body and Severus felt a new warmth surge inside him.
"This wasn't really what I had in mind," Cassie remarked as she laid the quilt out on the sofa, "I was hoping to sit on the beach today."
"Merlin's beard!" Severus exclaimed, catching sight of a large square object in the corner of the room, "Is that a television?"
Cassie whirled around and followed Severus's fixed gaze, "Yes, it is. Good old Aunt Alma, she was rather fond of Muggles."
"She actually watched the television?"
"As far as I'm aware, yes. I heard my father making a right to do about it once, he said she was going to get us all in trouble."
Severus pulled a face that was not unlike a grimace.
"Haven't you ever been... curious?" Cassie probed.
"About Muggles?" Severus responded, raising an eyebrow.
"No! About television. I've watched it now and then. Once, I was walking past a Muggle shop and they had a television in the window, there was this funny man at the beach and he was trying to change into his swimwear without another man seeing him," Cassie recounted with a fond smile.
"I've never had the desire to participate in Muggle activities. I'd much rather read a book."
"There's a whole lot of Herbology books behind you, or... I could make hot chocolate and we could get under the quilt and you could watch television with me."
Severus almost groaned in objection, but Cassie's face was lit up with glee at the thought of her own idea. He opened his mouth to reply, but hesitated at the excited squeak of hope from Cassie.
"Fine," he sighed, "we can watch the television."
Cassie jumped on the spot, "Thank you."
"Now go change out of those wet clothes, I don't wish to use up my personal potions on you when you get sick."
"I'll take a shower too, I feel icky," Cassie said, picking up the trunk that Severus had brought, "Then I'll make hot chocolate."
"I'm almost bursting with anticipation," Severus responded dryly.
Cassie just rolled her eyes before she disappeared up the stairs, leaving Severus alone in the living room. He sat down on the soft sofa, sinking into the cushions. From upstairs came the sound of running water and Cassie humming softly, he felt awkward, sitting stiffly on the cushy couch. There was a part of him that wished to go and join her, it got him up from his seat and to the doorway of the living room where he hovered for a few minutes.
Why are you torturing yourself?
Severus waved away the voice in his head and grabbed one of the volumes on Herbology from the bookcase. He took a seat on the plush sofa again, opening the book and running his fingers across the worn pages.
When Cassie reappeared at the doorway, he realised that he'd got no further than the first paragraph on the first page.
"Severus, you're still in your damp robes," she remarked, dabbing at her wet hair with a fluffy white towel.
He snapped the book shut, "I was waiting for you to finish."
"So you just sat in cold, wet robes the whole time? You're an odd one Severus."
"Pot, kettle," was his reply, as dry as ever.
"Well, hurry up, you can help me with the drinks. Up the stairs first door to your left is the bathroom, second door to your left is the master bedroom."
He nodded and headed upstairs, the sound of cupboard doors banging followed him up the dimly lit stairway. Once in the shower, with the hot water raining down upon his head, he let loose a small sigh of contentment. He'd had little time to truly relax in the last few days, and there was something about the water that put him in a contemplative mood, and he had a lot to contemplate.
Like how Cassie isn't turning and running for the hills right now?
It was such a common reaction for people to have when faced with the former Death Eater, Severus Snape. Few ever stuck around to learn about the man behind the stories. Severus shook his head beneath the stream of water, trying to dislodge the thoughts that swarmed through his mind like angry bees.
She just wants to let you down gently; she won't stick around.
He wanted to believe that she could handle who he was, that she could handle his past. But few people could. Would she tell him over a mug of hot chocolate, or would she wait until the school term was about to start?
Does it matter? Maybe you should get out first, leave her before she can do the same to you.
He shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, wiping a hand across the fogged mirror, his reflection had changed in the last year. His sallow, sunken cheeks had filled out, there was life in his face. He rubbed at the stubble on his chin, pausing in thought before deciding to leave it.
Downstairs, he finished buttoning up his robe, expecting to hear Cassie in the kitchen, but the only sound he heard was the rain lashing against the windows.
"Cassie?" he called out, walking into the empty kitchen.
An empty pan sat atop the stove, two cups and broken chunks of chocolate were laid out on the worktop, but Cassie was nowhere to be seen.
Didn't take long, ran out why your back was turned.
"Cassie?!" he shouted, peering out of the windows into the rainy landscape.
There was a loud pop behind him and he turned around to see Cassie, two glass bottles of milk in her arms.
"Oh, thank Merlin, I thought you'd gone."
"I went to get milk, I thought I'd be back before you finished your shower," she gave him a puzzled look, "Where did you think I'd gone?"
Severus shot her a sheepish look, "I don't know."
Cassie's face softened with realisation and she set the milk down on the worktop, "You thought I'd left you, didn't you?"
"I... I thought you'd had second thoughts."
"I wouldn't do that to you, why would you think that?"
"Because this isn't what I expected. I thought you'd be angry."
"Do you want me to be angry? Would that make it easier?" Cassie responded, folding her arms across her chest.
"No, I just expected-" Severus hesitated.
"You expected me to be like everyone else. Their reactions come from a place of fear, I don't fear you Severus."
"I certainly didn't expect such wisdom from you," he sighed, a half smile tugged at the corners of mouth.
"Like you, I'm not exactly what I appear to be at first. Now stop thinking like that and help me make these drinks."
As they sipped their drinks beneath a heavy quilt, Severus' enjoyed the weight of Cassie's head on his shoulder. On the TV, a woman ran around a spaceship, fighting off creatures from another world, not that he was paying much attention.
"You know, I'm very glad that you aren't like other people. These past few days have been eventful, but this, this is nice."
Cassie didn't respond and Severus heard her steady but gentle breaths, her eyes were closed. He took the cup from her hand and placed it with his own on the side table.
"Sleep well, Cassie."