Angie set the pace for them as they left Taren's homestead and Regina for one was thankful that the other woman had come with them and was willing to take the lead.
It gave her time to think things through. She was getting stuck on what Celine said about keeping her plan to herself. She had already told Emma and her parents that she thought she could swap powers again – so that she had her magic and the cauldron's magic returned to it. Then she would use her magic to destroy the cauldron.
But more and more she thought about how simplistic that plan was and didn't account for certain things – such as Emma wielding Dyrnwyn. Why was it needed? The sword could not destroy the cauldron – after all the prophecy was that Regina would destroy it not Emma. Again, she thought about how she was the lord of death.
In thinking about it, it brought to mind another conversation she had with Taren on her first trip to Prydain. They had been staying with the fairies at the time and having one of their discussions about her magic and Taren's belief that her magic couldn't simply disappear.
"I understand your theory," Regina was saying. "I'm just not sure I believe it to be the truth."
"Alright, let me ask you this, in the world you are from, has anyone to your knowledge ever permanently lost their magic?"
Regina assumed he meant the Enchanted Forest and not Storybrooke. Although technically, when she came to Storybrooke she didn't have her magic either, but it also wasn't gone forever which would support Taren's theory. Still, she gave it some thought. Back in the Enchanted Forest, she knew it was possible to bind a person's magic temporarily but no, she didn't know of any cases where someone permanently lost their magic.
"No," Regina said. "But just because I don't know of an instance doesn't mean there wasn't one."
"Fair enough, but we know your magic is needed to destroy the cauldron and Celine says you will have access to it, so we know your magic isn't permanently gone."
"Yes, but by your theory, how am I supposed to destroy the cauldron if it is literally an item of magic and if magic never truly goes away, then I wouldn't be destroying it."
She felt like she had him here.
He considered her puzzle a moment. "That is a very good question. Right now, the cauldron is useless and it has been. Yet, we know it can be activated, which means its magic is out there right now untethered to it. Presumably, if you were to go in there and destroy the physical cauldron, that magic would still exist somewhere as it does now due to it being untethered, which means that magic would have the ability to be tethered to something else – another vessel perhaps."
"Yes, but how is that any different then?" Regina persisted. "The magic still exists."
"Correct, and while I believe it's not possible for your magic to be gone, much like the cauldron's magic, your magic isn't tethered to you currently. But let's say it was tethered to you, what happens to it when you die? It's your magic, so would it not be destroyed with your death?"
"I can't say as I have ever given it much thought," Regina replied.
"Perhaps I will need to revise my theory to account for such things or even the differences between the magic of the living versus the magic of an inanimate object."
"According to the cauldron's history, as you have related, the magic didn't start out being of an inanimate object."
It was this conversation that Regina now had swirling around in her head. She was the current vessel for the magic of the cauldron. She could wield it with conscious control, whereas the cauldron was an object and needed someone to control it.
The sword Dyrnwyn couldn't affect the cauldron, but it could be used to strike down a human vessel. If she died, her magic would be gone, so if she died while having the cauldron's magic, presumably it would die with her.
Her eyes went over to where Emma was riding just in front of her. The sword was in its scabbard secured just behind the saddle next to her bedroll.
No, she thought, she was missing something. Again, the prophecy called for her to destroy the cauldron, not Emma.
What was she overlooking?
…
Angie had them bed down for the night after keeping a steady pace throughout the day. She took the first watch as well and the rest of them settled down around the fire Charming built up.
While they made good progress that first day, there wasn't much conversation going on for the most part. While Angie was leading them, Charming ended up on the rear flank being ever watchful. Occasionally, Angie would cede the leadership role so she could scout ahead and it was Snow or Emma taking her place. Regina was content to stay rooted in the middle throughout – her mind continuously on the task ahead.
Emma had tried to engage her in conversation a couple of times, but Regina kept the talking to a minimum and Emma sensed that she wasn't yet up for talking.
Now as they were both lying on the ground near each other, Emma tried once more.
"Are you ok?" she asked.
"Ok as I can be, I guess," Regina responded.
"I can see why you liked him," Emma said.
Regina gave her a small smile. "He is easy to like," she said. "He was … I wish I had the luxury of taking the time to mourn him, but I can't … at least not until I destroy the cauldron. I have to do it, for him."
"And you will."
"It would be easier if I knew how I was supposed to."
"Wait, I thought you had that figured out."
"I did or thought I did," Regina sighed and she propped her head up, figuring sleep wasn't going to come quickly anyway. "I do have an idea, yes, but I admit that I'm confused by what part you and the sword are supposed to play in all of this."
Emma also propped herself up. "Why don't you tell me what your idea is and maybe I can help you work through it?"
Regina paused thinking of what Celine had told her about keeping it to herself. She had discounted what Celine had told her once before and it had come true so she wasn't sure she should tempt fate now. She explained this to Emma now.
"I wonder why she said to keep secret," Emma said.
"I do not know, but she wouldn't have told me if it wasn't important," Regina said. "It's not as if I haven't told you the basics of the plan already."
"But the sword," Emma said. It was lying next to her, her father telling her she should keep it near in case she needed it. "I told Taren about what you said about being the lord of death. I told him I wouldn't use the sword in that way. He agreed with me."
"I'm just unsure of why it is needed at all," Regina said. "Celine made it clear that what happens hinges on my choice."
"Taren did say that I should trust that if there is need of the sword you will say how it is needed."
"More cryptic talk," Regina said shaking her head. "Well seeing as I have no idea what it would be needed for, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for me to instruct you."
Even as she said it, she knew that wasn't entirely true. She kept going back to what she had originally said to Emma about the inscription on the sword and whether she liked it or not – she was the lord of death.
"So, um I was wondering that once we get back home if you would maybe like to go on a date?" Emma said suddenly.
"You are choosing this moment to ask me out?" Regina said.
"What? Nothing wrong with asking you now. I mean we're going to be quite busy later destroying a cauldron so what's wrong with now?"
Regina couldn't help but smile at the answer. "Yes, I would like to go on a date," she responded.
"Good," Emma said.
"And what will we be doing on this date?" Regina asked.
"No idea."
"Seriously?"
"What?" Emma replied. "Don't you think we have more important things to worry about at the moment?"
"Yes, we do," Regina said, rolling her eyes at her. "But until we get to the castle, I'm not sure there is much we can do."
"You know at some point you are probably going to need to talk to someone about what you went through when Silas held you captive. I'm not saying it has to be me, but you shouldn't hold that trauma inside," Emma said.
Regina moved onto her back and looked up at the sky and Emma figured their conversation had ended.
"I had no idea how long I was there," Regina said suddenly. "Days lost all meaning. When I got my memories back fully, I tried to figure it out, but I'm still not sure. Most of the time, I was alone, locked in a cell. And while none of it happens if not for Silas, I would be lying if I said I didn't have rather strong feelings about having a chat with his captain of the guards once I have my magic back."
"This is probably the part where I'm supposed to say something about not going after revenge," Emma said.
Regina looked at her. "But?"
"I said I'm probably supposed to say something like that, but I'm not going to," Emma said. "Besides, I trust that by chat you didn't mean you were going to kill him. That's not who you are."
"I was once upon a time," Regina said. "Doesn't that bother you?"
"Again, it's not who you are – not now," Emma said. "Even if was your job to wield Dyrnwyn, I don't think you would go around slaying anyone with it."
The sword, Regina thought, why did it seem like everything went back to the sword.
"Well, we should probably sleep, at least you should as you have the next watch," Regina said.
"Hey, I've been trying to sleep this entire time, you are the one who keeps talking," Emma smiled at her before closing her eyes to sleep.
Regina watched her for a moment before letting her eyes go back up to the sky. She remembered when she was here the first time, how she thought there seemed to be so many more stars in the sky at night than there were back in Storybrooke.
If only there was a star up there she could wish upon – wish for an answer to the questions in her head.
….