sorry I was gone so long! I've have a crazy fun summer! xoxox

Chapter 11

Can't Have You

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Helga nearly fell over backwards as Jayla ran to hug her. She was not expecting this at all. "I'm here to visit your childhood home," Jayla answered. "And let me say, Hillwood is kind of a shithole."

Helga turned to Phoebe who was setting up their lunch on her dining table. "Did you know about this?"

Phoebe shook her head. "I was as surprised as you were, I hope I brought enough for us to share."

Helga was never a hugger before she met Jayla, Jayla loved hugs and getting in people's personal space. She was kind of the opposite of Helga in a way. She would definitely make an entrance in Hillwood. She was wearing a skintight yellow bodysuit that began with a tank top and ended in shorts. Paired with that she had platform sandals and a white fanny pack. Her hair today was braided down her back with gold beads braided in. There was really no one in Hillwood like her, and that's not even mentioning her 2 full sleeve tattoos. The one thing Helga admired about Jayla was that she was so unapologetically herself.

"Listen I don't care about eating," Jayla announced, "I want to finally see this Arnold character."

Helga rolled her eyes, she was not in the mood to talk about Arnold. "Well you just missed him, he gave me a ride here."

Jayla squealed. "Honey what?! I thought you were trying to avoid him. Tell us everything."

Helga reached for a piece of garlic bread and sat at the table, well more like slumped. She bit her bread furiously, Arnold was getting annoying to her. It was like one minute he acted like he wasn't about to get married, and the other he was kissing Lila.

"I have nothing to say, the guy just saw me and gave me a ride here." That wasn't a lie, it did happen. Some other confusing and slightly inappropriate stuff also occurred, but not anything that needed discussing.

Jayla seemed to believe it and finally sat at the table. Phoebe was being awfully quiet, more than usual even. Helga could tell there was something wrong when she saw Phoebe only mixing her food around her plate and not actually eating. Jayla was talking about an annoying woman on her plane ride here but Helga couldn't focus on anything other than Phoebe.

"What's going on Pheebs?"

Phoebe exhaled sharply. "Nothing, just wishing we hadn't agreed to be a part of the wedding."

That wasn't like Phoebe at all. She was usually the one with a bit more optimism. Helga always forgot that she wasn't the only one here having to see her ex every day. Even though Phoebe and Gerald had been talking it didn't mean they were getting back together or anything.

"Ah, the famous Gerald," Jayla announced. "Another character in this story I'm dying to meet."

"I'll be content if I don't see him for a little while."

Jayla shook her head. "He fucked up didn't he? What did he say?"

Phoebe crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked away. "I just need a break from him right now. I fear us being here is giving the impression we're here to stay."

Phoebe's doorbell rang startling the girls. They weren't expecting anyone so this was a bit surprising. Helga decided to go to the door. On the other side she saw Abby already looking annoyed at her.

"What's up Sunshine." Helga began, "you're looking chipper."

Abby let herself in without waiting for Helga to fully open the door. She was carrying what looked like a makeup case and duffle bag. She walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a breadstick from the table. Jayla gave her a side glance, Helga hoped there wouldn't be a brawl.

"Get ready bitches, we're going out tonight," Abby announced.

"Out? It's a weekday," Helga was in no mood to go anywhere, especially if it involved Arnold and company.

Abby began unpacking her makeup case on the counter completely disregarding anything Helga was saying. It was so like her. "Listen if I have to go out to some stupid bar tonight and pretend I'm ever so happy for Arnold and Lila, then you guys have to come too."

Helga stormed into the kitchen too. "No! From the look of it we weren't even invited, that's pathetic to show up."

"It's karaoke night, Pataki. Arnold and Lila have this stupid tradition where they go to karaoke on Wednesdays together, and now Lila is dragging Arnold to go. So obviously he's dragging us there too."

Helga looked at Phoebe and Jayla. Phoebe looked just as stunned and Jayla looked completely over the situation. "What do we care what Arnold and Lila do? I couldn't care less."

Abby rolled her eyes and looked over to Phoebe and Jayla. "Are we really doing this? Is there anyone in this room that doesn't know Helga and Arnold fucked, if so raise your hand."

Helga was mortified and Jayla started laughing. Helga shot her a cold look to shut her up. Even Phoebe let a giggle out at that comment. Ok so Abby knew, duh she's Arnold's best friend, but it still felt weird that she knew a secret about herself. It seemed like her whole life was just being publicized. It made her sick,

"I hate it here," Helga groaned.

The last thing Arnold wanted to do was go to karaoke night with Lila. They hadn't gone in a while and she was giving him her puppy dog eyes that he couldn't say no to. To make it a bit less weird he made it a group thing and invited Abby and Gerald to tag along. Lila didn't mind it at all but Arnold had a feeling there was something she was hiding.

They were in his room and Lila was picking out something for him to wear. He hated how she did that, it always made him feel like she didn't like the way he dressed. However, Lila always liked to go in matching colors when they went out. This was what the rest of his life was going to look like and it made him a bit scared. He wouldn't be able to avoid her or awkward conversations because they would be married and he would be around her all the time.

She eventually picked out a black t-shirt and jeans which annoyed him since it took her 20 minutes to pick it out. Arnold turned around and started changing. Lila was sitting on his bed fidgeting with the hem of her skirt.

"Rhonda and I were looking around the neighborhood, and we saw the most quaint little apartment on the market. I think it would be perfect for us," Lila sounded excited but Arnold was taken aback.

"What?" Arnold asked,

"Yes, Arnold it's perfect," Lila went on. "It's a two bedroom one bath. It's a walk up but I don't mind the exercise, and it's close to the school so you only have one bus stop to worry about. I have photos too if you want to see."

Arnold was still so stunned, he wasn't expecting this conversation at all. "I thought we were going to be staying here at the boarding house, we already have a room ready for us."

Lila humphed and laid down on her back. Her arms were crossed over her chest and Arnold could tell that made her upset. "Arnold, I love you but I don't want to live in the boarding house for the rest of my life. I think it's important for us to have our own home. I'm terribly sorry if this comes off as a surprise."

Arnold sat on the floor and eventually laid down as well. He didn't want to have this conversation at all. He didn't want to move. He didn't even want to leave his room, so even having a different room with Lila was a big step for him. This was his home, he wasn't ready to leave.

"Lila, we won't live here forever, but I'm not ready to leave yet."

"But why?" Lila asked. "We're getting married, we need to start our own life. Honey, we need to grow up."

Something in the way Lila said that triggered him. He stood from the floor but didn't know what to do or where to go. For some reason he felt hopeless at that moment. There was nowhere he could hide from his problems, and nowhere for him to escape. It was starting to really hit him that he was growing up and him leaving his home was the final step in becoming a man. After returning home from San Lorenzo he never left home even for college, he always just lived here in the boarding house. It was comforting for him to be here with his family. Arnold never grew up with money or fancy things, but what he always had was his family at the boarding house. Even with his grandparents both deceased, he felt them here every day.

He could also understand why Lila wanted to have her own life outside of this. It was most girls' dreams to have their own place with their significant other. He really couldn't blame her. But he was scared. She didn't seem to understand that at all.

"Lila, I'm sorry but can we please have this conversation another time?"

Lila frowned. "You know, I saw you with Helga earlier. It seemed like you were trying to keep that a secret. It really confused me Arnold."

Arnold looked at Lila like a deer in headlights. She was standing directly in front of him now, her eyes were locked on his asking for an explanation. He felt like he was running out of air. Arnold was never good at lying, that was a fact, so he had to tell the truth.

"I saw Helga walking down the street and I offered her a ride home." Ok so it was mostly the truth. That was what had happened in that moment. Lila didn't need to know what had occurred between them a week before. "She was going to Phoebe's house so I dropped her off on the way back home."

"You know your mom told me Helga had come by the house a bit ago, that she baked you a cherry pie?"

Arnold could not catch a break. His mom, for lack of a better term, hated Helga. Mostly because she broke his heart and she was the one that had to console him after that. She didn't trust Helga in the slightest, even though at one point she really liked her. His dad was a bit more on team Helga, just like Grandpa Phil.

"Olga baked the pie actually. I have been tutoring Olga's son a few times a week, so she just wanted to thank me." Another truth.

Lila looked even more confused than she did earlier. She shook her head as if trying to put all the pieces together. "I'm sorry Arnold, I'm ever so confused. You're telling me you not only are on good terms with Helga, but you're also spending time at her house tutoring her nephew? And you just never thought to tell me?"

Arnold fought back, "hello! You're the one that asked her to be a part of our wedding. What did you think was going to happen, that we would just despise each other for the whole thing? It's like you wanted me to suffer during what's supposed to be the best day of our lives."

Lila scoffed. "Helga is my friend! I wanted her to be there since she was so special to me. She disappeared, and I missed her."

"She broke my heart, Lila!" Arnold shouted that. He covered his hands over his mouth as soon as he heard how the room echoed around him. "It's like you forgot that ever happened to me."

"I didn't forget, and I don't want you to hate her, but I also don't want you sneaking off and doing things behind my back, I'm your future wife."

"I know that, Lila, I do, and I'm sorry." Arnold took a deep breath. "Let's just go to the bar and have a good time and just not think about this anymore."

Arnold turned to a smiling Abby and frowned at her. "You brought Helga?"

Helga, Phoebe, and Jayla were ordering their drinks at the bar as Abby and Arnold spoke. Abby was trying not to grin from ear to ear but she had to admit it was pretty difficult. Lila hadn't seen the girls yet, she was off with Rhonda and Peapod Kid at their table. Gerald was acting strange too, which was odd considering he never had ill feelings toward Phoebe. For once, Abby was the one excited to see Helga and her crew.

Abby had done up Helga and Phoebe so they could look as hot as possible for the night out. Helga had her hair up in two space buns, she had soft pink eye makeup and cherry red lip gloss. She borrowed Abby's favorite knee length leopard skirt and a black tank top tucked in, and a pair of black platform boots from Jayla's suitcase. Phoebe on the other hand was a bit more modest in a baby blue turtleneck and beige mini skirt and tights. Jayla, well she was a bit more extroverted than the other girls. She didn't need Abby's help at all. She was wearing a black halter mini dress and strappy heels.

"Yeah, if you're going to drag me to this idiotic karaoke bar, then I'm bringing my friends too," Abby told him.

"Since when are you and Helga friends?" Gerald questioned her.

"Since when do you ask so many questions?"

The boys looked at each other and then back to her. She was still smiling, content that her work was getting them riled up. If there was one thing Abby liked doing, it was stirring the pot. She didn't suddenly love Helga or anything, but if there was one person she disliked more than her, it was Lila. Abby didn't do the fake nice bullshit. She didn't believe for a minute that Lila asked Helga to be a part of this out of pure nostalgia for their old friendship. Lila straight up refused to have Abby be one of her bridesmaids, even though she was Arnold's second best friend.

The girls returned from the bar and came to stand next to Abby. Helga handed her a drink, a jack and coke from the look of it. Abby took it and motioned the girls to follow her to their table. Helga and Arnold looked at each other for a brief moment. Abby locked her arm around Helga's and led her to the table to give her more confidence.

"So that's Arnold?" Jayla asked them as they walked away.

Abby shook her head, "the one and only."

"I didn't think you'd like them blond, Helga."

"Not now," Helga ordered.

If the look on Arnold's face wasn't gold enough, Lila and Rhonda's was absolutely priceless. Rhonda nearly choked on her long island iced tea when she saw Abby take a seat directly in front of her. Helga was to her right and Phoebe to her left with Jayla to the left of Phoebe. Abby faced Rhonda, Phoebe faced Peapod Kid, and Jayla faced Lila.

"Hi guys, what have we missed?" Abby started off the conversation.

"An invitation for one," Rhonda's face was twisted in a puckered up frown.

"Yeah, Arnold invited us, duh Princess," Abby fought back.

"All of you?" Rhonda asked. She looked around the table at all the girls. "Who are you? I don't even know you." She was speaking to Jayla.

Jayla chuckled a bit to herself. "Listen Princess, I would suggest you check how you speak to me because I'm from the Bronx and I'm not afraid to go to jail tonight."

Rhonda gave her a smug look. "The name is Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, I'm sure even you have heard of me."

"I can't say anyone outside this rundown town does."

"Tell me how you know each other again?"

"You're really starting to get on my nerves, Rhonda," Helga spoke up. "How about you quit with the twenty questions before I knock you into next year."

Before Rhonda could fight back Lila interrupted. "It's ok, Rhonda, everyone is welcome here." Lila extended her hand out to Jayla. "I'm Lila Sawyer, and future Mrs. Shortman. It's very nice to meet you."

Jayla turned her head to look at Helga but shook Lila's hand anyway. "The one and only Lila, I have heard so much about you."

Lila smiled and looked at Helga. "Oh Helga, did you tell her about our softball days? I truly miss our friendship in high school."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Last I remembered, you weren't very good."

Rhonda giggled connivingly, "and weren't you always second best to Helga? I mean, now that I think of it, softball was really fitting for you Abigail."

Abby clenched her hands into fists under the table, but Helga cut in before there was a real rumble. "So what does this have to do with meeting our friend Jayla? She's our best friend from college. She also went to Columbia with us. Tell me Rhonda, what Ivy league did you attend? Oh right, Hillwood Community College is more fitting for you."

Arnold and Gerald arrived at the table before Rhonda could rebuttal. Helga and Abby high fived under the table. Arnold looked at the two empty chairs and then at Helga. There was the chair directly in front of her, and then there was the one at the head of the table next to Jayla and Lila. Honestly both would be a hot seat for Arnold considering Jayla didn't have a filter. Gerald made the decision for Arnold and sat in front of Helga.

From what Phoebe had told them, they were also not on very good terms, so it made sense why Gerald would want to sit farther away from her. Helga tried not to see when Lila took Arnold's hand as he sat down.

"So you're the famous Arnold?" Jayla finally broke the ice. "I will say you are not at all what I thought you'd look like."

"You've heard of me?" Arnold questioned. He turned to look at Helga. "What have you heard?"

"Enough," Jayla smirked. "How did you like Olga's cherry pie? It's my favorite, I wish they would have saved me a slice. But you know how selfish Helga can be."

Helga and Arnold nearly choked on their drinks. The table looked at both of them in their simultaneous sip and spit. Abby handed her a napkin to clean herself off. Her vodka cranberry had spilled on her chest, luckily since it was black it didn't leave a stain. The napkins weren't doing too much to help so she excused herself to go to the restroom.

Helga had to get it together if she didn't want to draw anymore attention to herself. Looking at herself in the mirror helped her regain her confidence. She just had to remind herself that she was way better off without Arnold anyway.

As she walked out of the bathroom she ran into Peapod Kid. "Isn't someone here a bit jittery today? I do say Helga, the fact Lila hasn't picked up on your nervousness around Arnold is alarming to say the least."

Helga groaned and turned back at him. "Listen I'm so over all this stupid drama. I really don't want to talk about it."

"Oh no, I'm not here to pry any information out of you. However, if I were you, I would try to have a good time tonight instead of worrying over what everyone at that table thinks of you."

Helga crossed her arms over her chest, it was easy to just say that, it was a lot harder to act on it. "You're Peapod Kid, you're that guy, it's easy for you."

He smiled and leaned in closer to her. "You ever wonder what it's like living your whole life and people never calling you by your real name? Not so easy."

Peapod Kid walked into the men's restroom then. Trailing behind him was Arnold who gave Helga a curious look as he approached her.

"What was that all about?" He asked, implying the conversation between her and Peapod Kid.

"Nothing that would be of your concern Arnoldo."

Arnold rolled his eyes, "Can we not resort to childish nicknames?"

"Afraid not."

"You look nice by the way."

Helga turned around in a fury and nearly backed him into the wall. "Don't you start buddy. I'm not one to mess with today."

Arnold stared at Helga's pointed finger on his chest and moved his eyes up to meet her. For a second he looked scared of her. "What are you talking about? What did I do?"

"This whole mind game you're playing on me, it won't work."

"I'm not doing anything, Helga," he fought back. He stepped away from the wall and before Helga even noticed her back was touching the opposite wall and Arnold was looking down at her, was he always this tall?

Her nose was confused by the familiar scent of his cologne and the pungent smell of alcohol on his breath. He wasn't drunk that was for sure, but he was most definitely not on his first drink. This feeling brought her back to the college parties she was dragged to by Jayla, frat parties mostly. Except, the guys at those parties never made her feel this uneasy. She wasn't scared of Arnold, she was scared of what she wanted to do to him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Arnold asked her with a youthful wonder in his eyes.

I want you.

There's no words that can accurately articulate the animalistic desire I have for you. I fear that this bond will never go away, and I'll have to live knowing I can never have you.

"Helga," Peapod Kid called out to her as he walked out of the restroom. Arnold stepped away from her and pretended nothing was going on. "Let's go do some karaoke."