With Bella and Hair Gel's wedding just around the corner, everybody in the Cullen house. Mainly Alice, was working overtime to get things done. So, we could remain on schedule for the appointed date. I didn't see much of them after my "birthday". Charlie, when Bella and I returned. Sat us both down for a "family meeting."

It was agreed that since the truth was out now, it would stay out. We just wouldn't tell Renee quite yet. Let her believe what she wants. That was a huge weight off my shoulders, no more secret! Seth came by to visit as usual later and Bella asked him a surprising question:

"If he wouldn't mind checking on Jacob from time to time?!"

As you can imagine, Seth was pretty uncomfortable while I almost blew a gasket. Instantly, she seemed to realize her mistake and explained herself saying. "I'm not planning to go after him, but I wants him to know that I care."

Jeez! Can't this girl take a hint? But I left it up to Seth, he said "he'll talk to Sam" and thankfully the conversation ended right there.

Time passed, finally it was the fourth of July. Nearly two weeks since I last saw the Cullen family. The pack was having double duty patrols since it was a holiday. So Seth wouldn't get off till late. Charlie was working today on account of the station being short staffed but he was going to meet Bella and I at the Clearwater's in La Push for dinner. Both he and Sue had bonded closely after Harry died. If they weren't careful, I would soon be dating my stepbrother!

EEWWW! Too scary to even think about, Bella was spending time at her fiancé's house on this rainy afternoon. So that's where I was headed…

When I arrived, I took a seat on the top porch step. I didn't have as much pep as I once had and needed to rest more often. Tugging off the hood to my rain coat, I reached into the case and took out my baby. Placing on my lap and started playing. I took my guitar almost everywhere with me these days. It brought me comfort. I began with a song honoring the day and what it stood for "God Bless the USA".

I was so engrossed in what I was doing that it took me awhile to realize I had an audience. Jasper was seated right across from me, smiling with pride and encouragement. "Go on Little Soldier, what else you gotta say?"

Suddenly Alice's squeal of displeasure could be heard through an upstairs window. "No not blue! I said "silver" table cloths!" I silently shook my head, playing Billy Currington's "People are Crazy". My southern pal was cracking up by the end of it.

Just then Edward pulled his Volvo in the driveway and Bella ran out to meet him. The temptation was just too good that I had to give in: Trisha Yearwood's "She's in love with the Boy" started playing softly in the background.

"Nicki!" my sister scolded, embarrassed. Little did I know that with every song, more people gather around.

Emmett was towering over my sitting form. "Nick-roo?" he sang,

"What?"

"Where's my song?"

I chuckled; I had the perfect song for him. "What was I thinkin'" by Derks Bentley. "Nick-roo! That's not my song,"

"Yes, it is!" everyone chorused, though Esme and Carlisle added "Son" to it. Sorry Buddy, it's seven against one. The song stays…

The rains stopped but it was still overcast, after some persuasion on Alice. It was decided that everyone would take the remainder of the day off, starting fresh tomorrow. The end result was very entertaining.

Together we created sort of a mini carnival, Cullen style.

All from different odds and ends found in storage from the garage. An old mattress got Velcro stapled to it and became a "sticking wall" for those (meaning: Bella and I, wearing "sticking" suits) who jumped on the small trampoline. Edward and Jasper found a leftover paint can from repainting the house and dumped it over. Running some spare tires through it, leaving track marks on a large sheet of construction paper. Then it got really crazy when Emmett took off his shoes and socks before walking in the puddle of paint. Preceding to make "Bigfoot" marks and prints all over the yard. The other girls and Carlisle alternated between ripping off the sticking wall victims and choosing the music. It was a pretty hysterically fun time, I could not help but smile and laugh along.

That good mood lasted even throughout the bonfire at La Push. Once we returned "home" though, it was a different story:

Renee called wishing Bella a happy fourth, which I didn't mind. They talked about what her and Phil did, also fine. Then she "asked" about me, putting in her two bits. Demanding to speak to Charlie, specifically wanting conformation that Bella was "still in the Dark." I stormed into my room, slamming the door. "I couldn't believe that Bi-Woman! I collapsed on the bed, sobbing into my pillow. "Will this nightmare ever end?!" I thought in despair. As my metal leg kicked, it banged against the bottom drawer of my dresser and it popped open. Revealing a forgotten item I'd put away months ago: My Bible!

It was the one Pastor Ike gave me in Juvie, he said "When you're at a loss and don't know what to do? Read God's word, it will give you strength and guidance. If you let it. Prayer helps too. He's always listening…"

I took the book from its resting place and opened it to the Gospel according to John. I read over this one verse repeatedly "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin. And cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Deciding it was worth a shot, I closed my eyes and prayed this silent prayer:

"God, Father?

If I can still call you that?

I confess I'm not perfect.

I don't know or have

All the answers.

But please forgive me

For what I've done and said

I've strayed so far off the path

I can't get back without

Your help.

I beseech you father,

I'm scared

I don't know how to react

To people or trust

Them.

I know they're your children too

And I don't want to keep living like this

So please, teach me

How to see and love them

The way you do.

For however long

I have

Amen

P.S. I forgive Renee."

It wasn't easy but I meant that last part for it also says "For if you do not forgive others, neither will your heavenly Father forgive you…"

Bella's POV (A month later):

I honestly can't believe the change that has come over Nicki. She's become like a whole different person. But there's enough familiarly to assure me it's her. I can see it in her eyes, she's much happier and relaxed now. Though still not great with people, she's definitely trying. Then again, I've never been much of a people person either. Her speech is an improvement too, surprisingly! She hardly ever swears anymore but the meaning is quite clear in the words she uses. The real test is going to be on the 7th when Phil and Renee are flying in for the wedding….

Nicki's POV:

Just breathe… In and Out, "God, I pray you'll give me the strength and courage I need for this task." I thought as I paced back and forth restlessly in my room. Waiting for "Mother" to make her grant entrance.

Tonight was Bella's Bachelorette Party, organized and run by Alice. Renee wanted to be there and "join in the fun" with the girls. Bella and I both agreed to tell her "The jig is up," But the question of "How?" Or "When?" has yet to present itself. Oh well, no use in worrying or getting worked up.

I heard the front door open and close. Followed by, "Bella!" sang Renee. Ugh! Here we go…

I did not want to go out there or see her. For as long as I could help it. I was just fine to stay in my bedroom until she left. The mere sound of her voice got my anxiety going. Unfortunately, I did not have that option.

My sister only knocked once before barging in. "She's here,"

"Yeah, I know."

"She wants to see you," I groaned in response.

"Come on," she encouraged, taking my hand and leading me down the hallway. "Just like ripping off a Band Aid."

The way I was feeling, I'd rip off a hundred Band Aids before doing this! The amount of I had stress wasn't good for my heart either. Everyone was in the living room. Charlie was seated in his usual chair with a beer in hand. If I could, I'd be drinking right along with you, Pops.

"Nicki!" Renee greeted me, excitedly getting up off the couch. I said nothing in reply. She got her arms around me in a tight "hug" before I say "No touching." I kept my hands to my side. Clutching and unclutching my fists, trying to relieve the tension in my body. She noticed I wasn't responding the way she'd hoped. Renee then whispered in my ear:

"Please try to at least act happy to see me? I haven't seen you in forever." I sighed, she was pushing it. "I know you're upset about having to keep the secret," she continued. "But trust me, it's best for everyone."

That was it! I was not going to spend one more second of my life, living a lie.

I smiled and whispered back "Everyone knows the truth, Renee. And we're living in the truth. You can't handle it…? That's your problem. Now, enjoy the party!" I squealed with fake enthusiasm, stepping with ease out of her "embrace" and retreating back to my bedroom.

Bella's POV:

I couldn't believe Nicki did that. Then again, it's her. And I pushed her into something she was not ready for. I saw the signs and ignoring them, I pushed anyway…On the other hand, it could have been worse. Nicki handled it better then she would've a month ago. There would have been yelling and swearing. So, for the most part, I'm grateful of the method she chose. Though the ending reminded me a little of Alice, inappropriately enough.

Now I have to deal with Mom…

Because it was whispered, Charlie and I didn't catch what was going on until we saw Renee's expression and heard the end sentence. Mom's face was chalk white and her eyes were huge as they darted from Nicki's bedroom door, to Charlie, and finally… back to me. Before she ran and locked herself in the bathroom. It took a good hour and a half to get Renee to calm down.

Sometimes being the daughter of the Chief of Police has its benefits. Charlie made a spare key to every room in this house, including the bathroom. And while I was "handling" Mom, Dad took care of Nicki.

She was pretty worked up herself. Laying on her bed with headphones on listening to her Christian music or so he said. Apparently, after getting her calm. Realizing she needed a break, Charlie made a phone call to Sue and asked if Nicki could spend a few nights. Soon Leah pulled up in the family jeep, collected Nick and drove off toward La Push.

Once I got Mom pacified from her breakdown and she could think clearly. She surprisingly made a wise choice, and chose not to come to the party. She couldn't handle it, hoping I'd understand. That was a first, Renee was usually at any party come rain or shine. This had more effect on her then I thought. Though I did agree with her decision, in fact I wish there wasn't going to be a party at all.

But Alice wasn't letting me out of this one, saying "This is what brides' do" and she wanted me to have every experience. She was going to be very disappointed as it was with Renee and Nicki not coming. But I gotta tell you, after just witnessing what took place between my mother and my sister. In the safety of our home. There was no way I could see them attending a party together. God only knows what will happen at my Wedding!

Renee's POV

I just collapsed on the bed when I got back to my hotel room at the Forks Motel. Thankfully Phil wouldn't be back until late. I'd told him what I was supposedly doing tonight with Bella. He said that he wanted to sight see and maybe drive out to Port Angeles. In Forks, there wasn't much.

Which is one of the reasons why I wanted to get away from this town in the first place.

My mom was sick at the time, and I so wanted to do better for Bella. I admit getting married like I did right out of high school, probably wasn't the best choice. But I was young and foolish! That seems to be my excuse for a lot of my behavior during my days as a young adult…WHY couldn't Charlie keep his blasted mouth shut and stick to our agreement?! Things would be so much easier!

And did you see the way Nicki reacted to me? Her disgust? Her language? This was not the little girl I knew! And what is wrong with her legs? And now my baby knows what I've done…Way to go Mom of the year!

Will Bella ever look at me the same?

She already knew I wasn't perfect, but now this! All I ever wanted was the best for her. Can't she understand that? One thing is for sure, tomorrow I'm going to Charlie's and give him and Nicki a piece of my mind!

The next day I stomped into the station, having already tried the house. I slammed the door to his office shut saying "We need to talk,"

"We do indeed." he agreed, glaring at me in anger. What did he have to be angry about?!

"Where's Nicki?" I demanded.

Charlie slapped his papers down on the desk. "Renee! You are here for Bella's Wedding! She wants you here and that's fine. She should have her mother at her wedding. But I absolutely will not tolerate nor allow you to hurt my other daughter again!"

"She's not-"

"Oh yes she is! Don't fool yourself! Nicki is my flesh and blood. It was my seed that helped create her. You had no right to do what you did.

You took her away from me and lied about it to my face. I never stopped searching for her. Not because what she could give Bella, but because she was mine. My daughter and I love her. Once more, after she came to live with me. I got a court order that gives me full and complete custody. You are so consumed with yourself and what you want. That you don't even care about the damage and hurt you've caused others! Nicki has been through hell these past ten years! She's dying! And all you care about is your f***secret! Do what you want while you're here. But I'm warning you:

Stay away from her, until the wedding and even then, I will be watching…"

Whoa! I couldn't hardly get a word in with him! It seems my presence and my actions have really shaken things up in this small hick was watching when Charlie "escorted" me out after his little speech. Not just out his office but out of the station too!

Was it true? What he was saying about Nicki dying? She was seriously ill? The only other person who would know is…? Guess it's time to face the music…

I was sitting on the front porch waiting, when Bella drove up in the new car that Edward got her. "A Mercedes? That boy has good taste!

"Mom?" my baby greeted me with bags of groceries in her arms.

"Hi Honey," I said holding the door open for her once she unlocked it.

"Can I get you something?" she offered putting the bags on the counter. I seated myself at the kitchen table, "Just water, thank you baby." She reached into the fridge and took out a bottled water, handing it to me. "Feeling better?" she asked, putting the items away.

"Yeah, about that… Are you sure Charlie told you the truth? Cause-"

"Mom, it wasn't Charlie. Nicki told and showed me the official documents. I know about my cancer and what you guys did to save me."

Now I was really embarrassed. "Oh Sweetie! I was so young and scared, I was gonna lose you. I would have done anything! But I wasn't ready to take on another child any longer than I had to. Nor could I afford it. I saw an out, so I took it. However, I'm starting to realize it was the wrong one…"

"Yes Mom, it was. If you couldn't handle having a kid or two kids… you should have just sent us to Charlie with visitation rights."

"I wanted you, Bella." I admitted, shamefully sounding like a child. "I wanted you with me."

"Then you should have let Dad take Nicki, like normal divorced parents. That way I could still see her from time to time and know I had a sister. Maybe then, things would've been different, and Nicki wouldn't be disabled or as sick as she is now?"

I blinked, what?

"Last January, she was in a car accident in which she lost her lower legs and she has a heart problem. That she's dying of. In the last decade, Nicki has gone through a lot, Mom: rape, pregnancy, drugs, smoking, jail, rehab, child birth and death. To list a few. She does not like nor trust most people, especially you. After what you did, playing with her heart like that… I read the letter." She shook her head.

With each word Bella used to describe what Nicki had gone through, my horror and shame grew. Soon before I realized it, I was sitting on the kitchen floor with my back up against the cupboards and Bella kneeling beside me speaking. But I never heard what she was saying, I was lost in my own thoughts:

How could I as a mother and a parent, release my child- No! (Actually, a child, I wasn't a mother to her, so I certainly have no business calling her "mine.") Into that kind of situation? I endangered her!

They could have been messing with her each time I came to "visit"?! There were so many opportunities where I could have listened to her and gotten her out of there. Bella is right, I should have sent her to Charlie. Come to think of it. The only time I can actually think of when she was safe and happy was with "Martha?" Jezebel?" or whatever her name was…

Pity she died though, according to Nicki's last letter she sent me. I have wronged her so many times and so many different ways… No wonder she HATEs me! Now to hear, she's got no legs and is dying because of her heart. The last thing she needs is to put up with my crap because of a STUPID secret being blown. Which is my fault in the first place! If I hadn't been such a coward and told the truth. I will listen to Charlie and keep my distance till the Wedding. Then when I see her, I'll make a promise to no longer interfere in any aspect of her remaining life. I owe her this much…

One thing is for sure: I really screwed up, didn't I?