"Why did you decide to give him another chance?"
Pansy's dark eyes flickered to her therapist and she immediately stopped tapping her foot, "For the sex."
"Pansy," her therapist sighed and leaned forward in her chair. "We both know that's not true."
"Do we? The sex was incredible, no one else has wanted it as -"
"Pansy," the woman said firmly. "You trust me, don't you?" She didn't wait for Pansy to respond before she continued on. "Why did you give him another chance?"
Pansy swallowed, her eyes darting down to her hands that were clasped tightly in her lap. "Neville asked for another chance. He still had hope," Pansy's voice was soft.
"His name is Neville," the therapist tried to keep the surprise from her voice but Pansy's lips twitched as she met her gaze.
"Yes," Pansy tapped her dark nails together. "I was awful to him in school when we were younger. His family was nothing like mine," she let out a breath. "There was love in his family, despite his parents dying young," she fidgeted slightly at the half-truth. "He was in the other school group and I was so awful to all of them."
"They've all forgiven you, Pansy," the therapist reminded her gently.
Pansy hummed in agreement before taking a deep breath. "I want to have hope, you know. I want to be vulnerable," she blinked rapidly, staring at her lap. "But it's so hard."
"I know, Pansy," the therapist agreed with a small smile.
"And I want to feel love," Pansy raised her gaze to the therapist, tears threatening to spill over. "All I've had is love from my friends, my chosen family, and I," she blinked back the tears.
"And it sounds like Neville has a lot of love to give," the therapist prodded gently.
"You just want to keep saying his name," Pansy let out a watery chuckle and swiped beneath her eyes. They were both silent again before Pansy asked quietly, "What happens if I'm hurt again?"
"Then you'll lean on your friends, your chosen family as you said, and on me. And you'll get through it, Pansy," the therapist leaned forward to hand Pansy a tissue. "You've got so much love and support in your life, you know. Your friends want to be there for you. You just have to ask."
Pansy let out another watery laugh, "Easier said than done."
They were silent for a moment, Pansy dabbing at her eyes with the tissue when the therapist cleared her throat. "I'm proud of you, Pansy." Pansy's eyes widened and darted to meet the gaze of the other woman. "It's difficult to move past what's happened in your past. Being hurt, having your trust trampled on -"
"And my heart," Pansy muttered before she could stop herself.
The therapist's lips twitched, "That too. And whatever happened during school, or after, to you and your friends," she held up a hand to stop Pansy from trying to deny it. "For you to be willing to be vulnerable again, to want to open yourself up to others." The woman smiled broadly, "I'm proud of you, Pansy."
Pansy blinked back tears for a moment before she let them fall, "Thank you," she whispered and sat there crying, not bothering to hide her tears.
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Pansy didn't reach out to Neville, not quite ready to emotionally expose herself, despite telling him that there was still hope for the pair of them. But she didn't have to wait long for Neville to show his interest.
Pansy was closing the shop up for Margot three days after those fateful drinks when the bell above the door tinkled softly. "We're just about to close," Pansy called out from behind the register, her back to the door.
"Oh, I was hoping," Neville's soft but deep voice said from behind her and Pansy nearly snapped her neck as she turned, her drawing pad clenched tightly in her hands. "To see you," Neville finished, running his hand over his head nervously, his lips turned up in a hopeful smile. "And to see if you'd recommend something I could get my Gran," he added quickly. "If that's more amenable."
Pansy felt as though her cold, dead heart cracked slightly. "Your Gran?"
"Yea," Neville nodded. "She's um, well," he frowned slightly. "A bit particular."
Pansy's lips twitched, "So I've heard." Pansy set the drawing pad on the counter next to the register. "And you think On Parks is going to have something for her particular style?"
Neville let out a soft chuckle, "I'm hopeful?"
Pansy walked out from behind the register, her heels clacking on the old hardwood floor as she tapped a finger to her cheek. "What else can you tell me about your Gran besides that she's very particular?"
"Um," Neville's gaze was hot on her back as Pansy walked around him to a rack of sweaters. "She's, um, old?"
"I'll be sure to tell her you said that," Pansy turned her head slightly to meet his gaze with a smirk.
"No, um," Neville's shoulders slumped slightly. "She's barely got any Muggle clothes, really. Old fashioned in that way. She loves Gryffindor colors," Neville let out a groan. "I'm really not good at this."
Pansy laughed genuinely, "Sadly we don't have anything in your lion colors this season. Though Ginevra would love it, I'm sure." She ran her hands over the sweaters, "What does she wear when she's at home and doesn't expect company?"
"Oh," Neville ran his hand over his head again and Pansy bit the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning at his nervousness. "A stiff dressing gown she's been wearing my whole life, I expect," Neville shrugged.
"Just what I thought," Pansy muttered as she walked to a row of clothes on the far wall and pulled a long, soft velvet robe from the rack. "Draco bought one for his mum for her birthday," Pansy offered it to Neville. "It's been added to her dressing gown collection."
Neville's green eyes widened when he felt the softness of the robe, "It's so soft."
Pansy hummed in agreement, "You think she'll be okay with this color?" Pansy tilted her head slightly in question.
"It looks like the night sky," Neville's voice was low. "It's absolutely beautiful."
Pansy felt her cheeks heat. "I designed it with Pureblood women in mind," she admitted almost shyly.
"It's perfect," Neville said, his eyes bright and his smile wide. "I'll take it," he reached towards his pocket but Pansy put her hand on his to stop him.
"It's last season," she shrugged, her mouth suddenly dry. "And it's the last one. You'll be doing me a favor."
"Pansy, I can't -"
"If your Gran loves it, bring her by and I'll design something just for her," Pansy shrugged, trying to appear more relaxed than she felt, her heart racing at the look in Neville's eyes.
"That's too -"
"I'm a businesswoman," Pansy let out a shy laugh.
Neville looked back down at the robe, "It really is beautiful."
"Thanks," Pansy said, nearly breathless.
They stood there, closer together than they'd been in ages, and Pansy ached to reach out to him and press her body against his, to feel his lips all over -
"I should let you get back to it," Neville swallowed, his eyes darting between hers.
Pansy managed a nod, "Let me know what your Gran thinks."
"She'll love it," Neville smiled fondly at the robe before meeting her gaze again. "I'll let you know." He didn't move to leave. "Are you still having a hard time picking a color for your summer collection?"
Pansy nodded, unable to look away from his bright green eyes.
Neville returned the nod and turned towards the door. Pansy felt her heart sink slightly before Neville turned around again. "Pansy? Can I see you again soon?"
"Yes," she breathed. "If - if you want."
"I want," Neville's smile was wide. "Very much," he continued more quietly. "Can I owl you?"
"Of course," Pansy agreed, her lips stretching into a smile as Neville's eyes flicked down to her lips before he tore his gaze away and left the store.
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The next morning when Pansy arrived at the store, Margot was standing behind the register with a shit-eating grin.
"I've barely had any coffee," Pansy shook her head, leaving her large, dark sunglasses on her face. "Spare me, please."
"You were sent, well," Margot grinned. "Not flowers, but," she waved at the two potted plants next to the register.
"Oh," Pansy's voice caught as she took off her sunglasses. "Salazar," she breathed, putting her bag and sunglasses down on the counter next to the plants. "Did he," she swallowed, unable to finish the question.
"He did," Margot's grin seemingly stretched across her entire face now. "I offered him a cuppa to see if he'd stay to wait for you, but he had to, and I quote, get back to the greenhouse."
"Hmm," Pansy hummed, fingers itching to reach out to touch the plants despite the large spikes that adorned one of them.
"He also left this," Margot handed her a small folded piece of parchment.
Pansy snatched it and waved a hand at Margot as she walked towards her office behind the register, "Don't you have a store to open?"
Margot pouted but called after Pansy, "And what about the plants?"
Pansy waved her hand behind her back and the plants followed her into her office, leaving Margot to laugh gleefully.
Pansy put a hand over her heart as she read Neville's note, his large looping, slightly-tilted words reminding her of a younger, shyer Nevile.
Not everyone likes flowers, and I thought someone with the name 'Pansy' has received her fair share of them over the years. Instead I wanted to give you these. I hope they can inspire you now and in the future.
I hope you aren't offended by the cactus - a plant I think is often misunderstood. It's sharp, but in the right conditions, with proper love and care, it thrives. The top of this moon cactus will turn a different color this summer. A color I hope looks good on everyone.
This English ivy is from Longbottom House and has been growing there since the house was built. It can take over a canopy or a wall or ground cover and crowd out other plants, but I like to think that it's just opportunistic. Gran thinks the ivy helps make the house look more welcoming. I think it gives the house a non-magical history.
Pansy sat down rather abruptly as she read the letter a second time. Ivy from his family's house? The Longbottoms were Sacred 28, it'd been -
She took a shuddering breath, her eyes drifting to the ivy. Memories she'd long forgotten from her childhood were brought forth again. How many times had she seen the gardener at the Parkinson estate ripping down ivy from the gates? How many times had she asked her father why when it was so beautiful and so old? How many Muggle books had she snuck away to read at school where buildings were described to be covered with ivy?
And the cactus! Sharp and pointy, but beautiful. She swallowed and set the note down next to the plants. He hadn't left instructions on how to care for the plants - on purpose, she assumed, so she'd have a reason to reach out and ask - but he was right. She did find the plants inspiring.
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Pansy was so overcome with inspiration from the plants - and like Neville said about the moon cactus, she hoped to be inspired for the next season too - that she didn't manage to owl him a thank you before Margot knocked on her office door to tell her Hermione was on the phone.
"Granger?" Pansy said into the phone, frowning. "Why are you calling me?"
"To remind you that we're having everyone over for dinner tonight," Hermione said rather breathlessly and Pansy knew she was probably running to the Muggle store instead of using one of Narcissa's paid House Elves to help prepare for the meal.
"I didn't forget," Pansy said airily. She had forgotten as it were and now she'd have to pick something up as a gift - alcohol of course, but something non-alcoholic for her newly-pregnant friend.
"And I wanted to let you know that," Hermione hesitated and Pansy let out a breath through her nose.
"Draco told you, did he?"
"No, no," Hermione said hurriedly. "But I did want to forewarn you -"
"I'm an adult, Granger," Pansy sighed. "I'll see you later, dear."
"Don't be mad at Draco, Pansy -" but Pansy hung up before Hermione could finish and gathered up her things hurriedly. "I've got to go, Margot. I'll see you tomorrow."
Margot grinned as Pansy walked out of her office, "Going to get changed? You look lovely."
"I want to look lovelier," Pansy smirked. "And I've got fresh ideas," she tapped her sketchbook as she placed it in her bag.
"Finally! You've got the color for summer?"
"I do indeed," Pansy's smile was genuine as she walked out of the store.
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"You're wearing a color," Blaise said when he saw her outside the door to Hermione and Draco's rowhouse.
"So it would seem," Pansy arched an eyebrow and leaned around him to press the buzzer. "It happens occasionally."
"Rarely," Blaise frowned slightly, his brows drawing together.
"Your coat is already open and you're wearing a color," Draco said as he opened the door to welcome them in. "Are you ill?"
"I knew you were all obsessed with me, but this is absurd," Pansy tried to keep from snapping at him as she shook off her coat. "Is it suddenly illegal to unbutton a coat in public? Add that to my list of illegal activities," she tossed Draco her coat without looking at him and walked through the hallway towards the living room. "Where is the lovely hostess? I come bearing gifts."
"You didn't have to," Hermione started, her cheeks pinked, but stopped when her eyes finally landed on Pansy. "That's -"
"The one good Pureblood tradition," Pansy kissed each of her cheeks. "Always bring a gift." She handed Hermione a bag. "One for Draco, one for you," her burgundy-painted lips parted into a small smile. "Best to open yours later, hm?"
"You're wearing," Ginny started, her mouth nearly hanging open. "That's green!"
"We know you were in Slytherin," Ron rolled his eyes from beside his sister.
"Pansy barely even wore Slytherin colors while at school," Theo muttered from his spot on one of the large chairs. "I doubt she," he stopped when he looked up at her. "Salazar be damned," he chuckled.
"It's not Slytherin green," Pansy sighed exasperatedly. "It's very clearly not the same color. You lot wore or saw Slytherin green every bloody day for how many years?"
"It's a gorgeous color," Hermione said hurriedly. "It's absolutely lovely."
"It looks like Slytherin green," Ron harrumphed again.
"It's not," Pansy took the glass of whisky Draco offered her. "It's -"
"The color of ivy," Neville said in a deep voice. Pansy's eyes darted to the corner where he stood nursing his glass of whisky.
"Yes," Pansy nodded, her eyes wide. "It's the color of ivy."
"Ivy, is it?" Blaise's eyebrows raised.
"I was inspired by some ivy I saw today," Pansy tried to say as nonchalantly as possible. "I think it'll do for the summer collection."
"It won't clash with my hair?" Ginny asked and held her hair up towards the loose, thin blouse Pansy wore.
"No," Pansy's eyes shifted to Ginny. "I think it's a color that will look good on all of you," she produced a small bag from her pocket and with barely a wave of her hand enlarged it, pulling several silk scarves in the same color green to hand to Hermione, Ginny, Lavender, and Daphne. "You'll give one of these to your blonde friend, won't you?" Pansy asked Ginny.
"You know her name is Luna," Hermione sighed as Ginny laughed and accepted the scarf. "And your friend, Lavender?"
"Parvati will absolutely adore it," Lavender gushed. "You're just giving us these?"
"I want to make sure I'm right and the color will look good on everyone," Pansy said, trying to hide her smile.
"Nothing for blokes?" Theo asked with a faux-pout.
Pansy handed him a pocket square in the same shade, in a fabric a bit thicker than the scarves. "Will that do, your highness?"
"I don't wear suits," Ron grumbled before Hermione could smack his arm.
Pansy pretended to fish in the bag before pulling out a handkerchief. "Will this do?"
"How did you manage to do all of this today?" Daphne tilted her head to ask, the bright, summery green scarf tied loosely around her neck.
Pansy handed Draco and Blaise pocket squares and offered Harry his choice of pocket square or handkerchief. "Didn't take long once I got the color right." She lifted her gaze to see Neville now walking towards her.
"Handkerchief, please," Neville said softly. "Will be useful in the greenhouses," he offered by explanation to the others around them. Pansy tried not to notice the feel of his fingers grazing her hand.
"But this blouse," Daphne said. "You designed and created it today?"
"It was just," Pansy started but Ginny cut her off with a scoff. "It's not 'just' anything! It's impressive!"
"Magic -"
"It's impressive even with magic," Neville said kindly, his green eyes bright, his lips twitching up into a smile.
Pansy tried not to look bashful, but didn't get to respond before Lavender was asking her about her lipstick, commenting on the color. "But you always wear red!"
"Needed something different with this green," Pansy offered by explanation, feeling Neville's eyes boring into the side of her head.
"This ivy green," Blaise said with a smirk he hid behind his own glass of whisky.
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"I thought this was a dinner to congratulate the soon-to-be-parents," Pansy drawled, swirling her glass of red wine.
"We've got months of that," Ginny waved a hand, her husband hiding his laugh behind his hand before he took another bite of the roast.
"We want to know more about your summer collection," Lavender agreed gleefully. "I know Christmas is soon but I can't wait for it to be warm again."
"More importantly, we want to know how much of a discount we'll get," Ginny added, pointing her fork at Pansy.
"None if you keep asking," Blaise chuckled darkly and tried to dodge Pansy swatting at him.
"I hate summer," Pansy started and glared at Draco who shut his mouth immediately. "It's bloody hot, so pieces that are flowy." She waved at the blouse she was currently wearing, "Airy, breathable. Things you can move around in."
"Hmm," Hermione agreed. "It can be awful to walk around London sometimes at the peak of summer," she took a sip of her ice water as though remembering how humid and warm she'd be again in a few months.
"I love being warm," Lavender sighed happily, clearly disagreeing with Hermione.
"Pansy would rather it be dreary and cold and dark every day, I reckon," Theo smirked at her.
Pansy opened her mouth to say something devastatingly cutting, but Neville said calmly, "I'm sure Pansy, like the rest of us, enjoys more than one type of weather."
Pansy simply blinked at him.
"I didn't mean," Theo started but shook his head slightly as if confused.
"To that end, actually," Pansy cleared her throat slightly. "I'm thinking about expanding -"
"Finally!" Daphne and Ginny said at the same time and laughed.
"By which I mean," Pansy continued. "That I want different collections. Women in the city, like before," she offered, tapping her fingernails on her glass in an attempt to not be nervous. "But also women at home gardening, women on vacation -"
"Resort wear?" Hermione asked with a tilt of her head.
"Don't be so pedestrian," Blaise drawled before he could stop himself. "I mean -"
"Not what we'd call it, no," Pansy smirked. "But to wear to the Riviera, certainly."
"You plan on going to the Riviera?" Daphne asked with the start of a cunning smile on her face.
"Sorry, did you say gardening?" Draco scoffed. "I thought On Parks was an upscale boutique -"
"Your mother gardens, Draco darling," Pansy smiled viciously. "I'd hate to tell Narcissa that her own flesh and blood doesn't consider her upscale -"
"You know that's not what I -" Draco's already pale face paled even more.
"She did love that robe," Hermione grinned at Pansy.
"I think that's admirable," Ginny grinned. "I'd love things to wear to the beach," she said, staring at the side of Harry's head.
"We don't go to the," Harry started before swallowing. "Ah," he scratched his jaw. "Message received."
"That was faster than usual," Ginny laughed and turned back to Pansy. "Tell us more about the other collections you want to start."
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Pansy didn't get to speak much to Neville one-on-one during the dinner at the Granger-Malfoy household, though she knew he was watching her nearly the entire evening, especially after he correctly guessed the green color was 'ivy'. She wanted to talk to him, to thank him for the plants (and the inspiration), but as the evening came to an end, he didn't give her the opportunity.
"Will you be at the store tomorrow?" Neville asked quietly so only she could hear as the group put on their coats.
"Yes, although likely in the back creating mock-ups for the new line. Thank you for the -"
"Gran loved the robe and wants to see your store and what else you've got," Neville said, his words rushed. "Could we come later in the day when it's not so busy?"
"Oh," Pansy tried not to appear flustered. "O-of course. That'd be fine. We're pretty slow right before we close at 7." She stared up at his face. "Will she need anything to feel comfortable in a Muggle store?"
Neville's face broke into a warm smile, his green eyes laser-focused on her. "Kind of you to think of that, but she'll be fine. She's made an effort to be around Muggles more since," he trailed off, still smiling. "You don't mind if we come by?"
"Not at all," Pansy found she meant it.
"I'm excited for her to meet you," Neville said, his voice still low. "I'll make sure she's on her best behavior," he winked before turning to Hermione and Draco who stood near the door to thank them for dinner.
Pansy barely registered leaving the Granger-Malfoy household or saying goodbye to everyone. Neville was excited for his Gran to meet her. But that was preposterous. She was Pansy Parkinson. She was a Slytherin who wanted to give up Harry Potter to the Dark Lord. She and Neville hadn't even really dated -
Her mind raced, suddenly remembering the letters he had sent her that were hidden in her home. He wanted to date her though, hadn't he? That was the whole reason for this -
She Apparated home as quickly as she could to pour through his letters.
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Pansy told Margot to leave at 5pm, saying she could handle any shoppers who came in the rest of the evening. Margot looked suspicious, but ultimately was pleased to leave early. This gave Pansy plenty of time to primp without questions.
Nothing too much, just enough that she impressed a Pureblood matriarch from one of the Sacred 28 by not being overly-Muggle or overly-Wizarding.
She had designed and created another ivy-green top the night before that she wore, and decided on a deep blue-red lipstick that wouldn't look too Christmas-y or too dark (which may offend an older, conservative woman).
She had tried (and failed) not to dwell on Neville's letters all day. But statements like, "I was worried about how my Gran might react, but I don't give her enough credit." and "I told my parents about you more than once. Mum patted my cheek like she could tell I was happier." and "I am desperate for you to meet my Gran and my parents, but I don't want to rush you. I know you are skeptical and wary and I know I hurt you. I was a fool for trying to protect my own heart by hurting yours."
It had all cracked Pansy's heart. He had remembered the small vulnerabilities she'd shared with him (piecemeal as they were): she had never met anyone's parents since the War. She knew her friends said they'd forgiven her, but had the general populace? Had her friends truly forgiven her?
She smoothed her hands down her black cigarette pants and flipped through her sketchbook as she stood behind the register, waiting for Neville and his Gran, and trying to remember to breathe.
They arrived right at 6pm.
Before Pansy could even welcome them, Mrs. Longbottom said in a low, clear voice that reminded Pansy of her own grandmother (long-since passed), "This is so much nicer than any other Muggle store I've seen."
"Gran," Neville said in a soft, exasperated voice before looking up and meeting Pansy's eyes with a small smile. "This is -"
"Pansy Parkinson," Mrs. Longbottom said with a sharp nod. "You don't look like either of your parents. Except for the color of your hair."
"Gran," Neville said again, rubbing his forehead.
Pansy's grin was wide, "That is the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a long while, Mrs. Longbottom."
"If that's the case," Mrs. Longbottom huffed. "Then Neville has some work to do."
Pansy bit her lip to keep from laughing as Neville's mouth hung open and his cheeks pinked.
"I think we're going to be dear friends, Mrs. Longbottom," Pansy smirked and gestured for her to follow her to the fitting room. She met Neville's eyes and arched an eyebrow at him.
"I should have known," he whispered and shook his head fondly at the pair of them.
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Mrs. Longbottom left On Parks with several pieces from the racks and several more pieces that Pansy was designing just for her.
"I may be old," Mrs. Longbottom had said. "But I'm still up-to-date on fashion, and these pieces, Ms. Parkinson, are gorgeous."
It was higher and more meaningful praise than Pansy had ever received and she tried to hide her smile as she took the older woman's measurements.
After she paid full-price, completely ignoring Pansy's insistence at a discount, she thanked Pansy again and turned to Neville. "I can get home on my own just fine, dear," she patted his cheek and winked at Pansy. "You young people have a good evening," and before Neville could insist he accompany her home, she Apparated away.
"Well," Neville shook his head. "That's Gran."
Before he could fully turn to look at Pansy she launched herself at him, pressing up on her toes to kiss him full on the mouth, causing him to stumble back a step before his hands settled firmly on her hips and he kissed her back.
"You didn't leave instructions on how to care for those plants," Pansy whispered as she pulled back slightly several minutes later.
"Intentionally," his mouth twitched. "Gave me an excuse to see you again. Ivy green, eh?"
"Like I said, I was inspired by some ivy I saw today," she kissed him quickly before he could tease her again. "I read your letters," she breathed, kissing the corner of his mouth before moving to his jaw.
"And?"
"You listened," she pulled back her head to look into his eyes, suddenly realizing she was no longer standing but was now in Neville's grasp, her legs wound tightly around his hips.
"Of course," Neville's green eyes met her.
"And you," she shook her head, blinking. "You're not -"
"Scared?" He prompted and bent his head to kiss her cheek chastely. "Of you, Pansy Parkinson? Never." He met her eyes again. "Are you scared?"
"Of dating?" Her lips twitched. "Not if it's you."
"Good," Neville's mouth broke into a wide grin before pressing his lips softly to hers. "Now," he pulled back before the kiss could get too heated. "Can I take you out on a date?"
"Yes," Pansy whispered, biting her lip. "And then will you fuck me afterwards?"
Neville pressed his forehead to hers and chuckled, "If you insist."
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A/N: Welp! That's all she wrote! Maybe.