Disclaimer: DC belongs to someone else.

So these next two chapters were originally one normal length chapter but there was a pretty obvious stopping point so I decided to break it into two. However that would have added another week to the schedule and I'd rather not drag this out any longer than I already have. So you'll get a double upload this week so we stay on track.

Who I Am, Who I'm Supposed To Be And Who I Decide Is Really Me

The news had gotten out that after meeting with Batman Terry had run off. And while Bruce tried to reassure everyone he just needed some time Dick was understandably angry. He accused Bruce of chasing him off and was even more frustrated when he simply said that it was personal and not his secret to share. Dick had wanted to get up and look for him immediately but the other Bats gave him a little something to calm down. While the Talon serum was working wonders he was still recovering from a head injury and no one wanted him to have a relapse.

Two days later Conner Kent was visiting Clark's parents for the weekend in Smallville. The trip had been planned for earlier but it got pushed back when Dick had been taken captive. He liked the Kents a lot. With all the craziness in his life it was nice to be around people who knew the importance of taking it slow sometimes. He admitted it was nice to be treated like a normal boy instead of a superhero or science experiment. It was easy to see how their influence helped Clark become the hero he was today. They also apparently gave him one heck of a lecture when he first discovered Superboy was his clone and kept ignoring him. Really, there wasn't anything he didn't like about them. He wished he could stay a little longer but he had to leave in the morning. He did promise to visit again soon though.

He was nearly ready for bed when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." He called as Martha opened the door with a light smile on her face.

"Hope I didn't catch you sleeping Sweety."

"No, it's OK. Do you need help with anything?"

"That's nice of you to offer Dear but it's not me who needs help." she stepped aside to reveal a very haggard looking Terry McGuiness.

"Terry, what are you doing here?" Martha closed the door as she left.

"I'll just let you boys talk while I fix up Clark's room if you need to stay the night Terry OK."

"She's really nice," Terry said, shifting his backpack around. "I just showed up at her door asking for you and she offered me dinner." but this only confused Conner more.

"Wait, you came all the way to Smallville, just to see me?" Terry nodded the fake smile slipping from his face. "How did you even get here unnoticed, they've been watching the Zeta tubes ever since you ran off."

Terry held up a little black Credit Card with a fake name.

"Bruce lets me use this for expenses."

"OK, that explains the non Zeta tube travel and why Batman didn't seem worried when you left but I'm still waiting to hear what happened and why you came to me of all people. Also I do have a cell phone you know."

Terry's smile dropped completely and he started to pace the room.

"This wasn't something I could talk about over the phone." Terry looked at Connor and took a deep breath. "Apparently there was a secret being kept from me by my Batman. Bruce, this world's Bruce, decided to tell me and…I wasn't prepared for what he said." Conner waited patiently seeing how stressed the other boy was. "Turns out my father, the man who raised me, wasn't my father at all. They tested my DNA when I got here and guess what? Bruce Wayne is my biological father!" Conner stood up shocked by what he just heard.

"Bruce is your…Well, that explains the weird way he was acting around you, especially when you and Dick started dating." Terry continued to pace running his hands through his hair practically pulling it out.

"That's not even the worst of it. Turns out you and me have another thing in common beside liking Dick." Conner was going to comment about his phrasing but let the other boy continue instead. "It seems we're both Cadmus projects designed to replace our mentors if need be."

"You're," Conner couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You're a clone, like me?"

"Not exactly a clone, but they did mess with my Dad's reproductive DNA to make sure Bruce had an heir since all of his prodigies had left the hero life behind them."

"So they're the ones who made you Batman?"

"Yes-No…I don't know!" Terry was actually pulling out his hair now. "That's the part that's driving me crazy! I became Batman in a way so similar to Bruce I can help but think that this was either planned or I have some unconscious programming. I'm questioning every decision I made since my Dad died and I don't know if any of that was really me or if I've activated my primary function and become some sort of Batman Beyond."

Terry collapsed onto Connor's bed emotionally exhausted from his outburst. Meanwhile Connor was feeling a little strange about all this. He wasn't someone people usually came to for advice but he did understand why Terry would come to him. The two of them had never gotten along mostly because of a mutual affection for Nightwing but he could see the other boy was hurting and fate had somehow made him the best person to come to. Conner sat down besides Terry, not completely looking at him.

"I do get that, not knowing what part is you and what part is the program." Terry turned to him, his eyes red from unshed tears. "For me though it's like…like everyone is encouraging me to go against what I know is programmed in but some parts are good though. I was grown in a lab and that programming was all I knew. I was programmed to be Superman but a Superman the Light wanted. I had to learn what it was to be my own person. I'm still working on that. But the more I learn the more I discover what works for me and what works for Superman.

"Oh course there was that hidden programing that Luthor triggered with a code word but in that state I had no control. Have you ever felt that?" Terry shook his head. "You're lucky then. I had it removed but that feeling of no control was really scary."

"So you had the hidden commands removed but not the subconscious programming?"

"The programming was the base for my entire being. I can shape it or add to it but it is a part of me." Terry was thoughtful for a moment.

"I…wasn't always a good person…before becoming Batman. I was in Juvi for a while. I lashed out and was an all around angry teenager. Now I'm wondering if the program corrected something when I thought I was improving myself."

"You should join our new support group: Heroes with Evil Family Members."

"That's a horrible name."

"Creativity has never been a strong suit for me."

"And I don't think I'd fit in with that group. My Bruce is a cold lonely old man but he's not evil."

"Cadmus was part of your creation so I think it counts." Terry thought for a moment and then burst out laughing.

"You're more creative than you think." He wasn't quite sure what he said to make Terry laugh but he figured he was doing something right.

"It sounds like you're less upset that Bruce is your father and more scared that the life you choose wasn't a choice at all."

"Warren McGuiness was my father. Bruce was just the DNA donor."

"Do you think he knew?"

"My Bruce Wayne is 10 time more paranoid than the one here, there's no way he didn't know. He knew, he just…didn't tell me."

"Maybe he knew you'd react badly. I mean you did run off when you found out here." Terry grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. "Case and point." Terry just glared back.

"Regardless, I'm glad this Bruce told me the truth even if I 'reacted badly' If I had found out on my own…" Just the thought was making him mad but they were getting nowhere fast.

"Alright back to the programming thing." Conner said, trying to put them back on track. "Knowing what you know now, would you go back and stop yourself from being Batman and helping everyone you did?" Terry hugged the pillow to his chest as he gave this some serious thought.

"Well, that's not an easy question. There were some things that happened that only Batman could solve. And in true Batman Style some of the villains I'm fighting are an indirect result of my actions."

"Are you the only hero out there?"

"No the Justice League is still active, as well as Superman. But they usually handle the big cases you know. And while I convinced commissioner Barbra Gorden to not arrest me, she still thinks Batman isn't needed or is at least a crutch. But now you've got me thinking of all the small stuff I handle. Stopping mugging that could escalate into murder, pulling people out of a burning building or solving a crime left to the backburner. It's not always the big thing I've felt I've made an impact on."

"But would Terry Mcguiness want to do these things if he wasn't Batman?" Conner said, rephrasing the question. And that's when Terry realized the answer was a clear yes. He had stood up to the Jokerz on the train when they were harassing that woman when others just looked on or tried to ignore it. His actions weren't without consequence but…

"Yes, Terry McGuiness would." And at last some progress had been made. Terry still had a long way to go but it was a start.

"I still think you should have a conversation with Black Canary about this. We all talk to her and she is good at getting people to a better place mentally."

"I still think it's a little weird, I've never met Black Canary in my world but I know she wasn't a Psychiatrist. That and Batman says never to trust a shrink."

"I think it's fine as long as they're not from Gotham." Terry laughed out loud at the remark but Conner frond.

"OK, there's a joke I'm not getting here." Terry smiled and patted the other boy on the back.

"To answer your question a large percent of shrinks end up going crazy or become super villains but only in Gotham though. Harley Quinn and Hugo Strange for example."

"Oh, now I get it. What is up with Gotham anyway?"

"I wish I knew."

The two of them relaxed for a bit after Terry's initial panic attack, but not completely. While they realized they had more in common than they thought there was still the elephant in the room.

"I suppose I just have one more question." Terry said, slightly uncomfortable. "Why did you kiss Dick when you knew we were already together?" Connor frowned but took a deep breath and answered the best he could.

"In a strange way it relates back to what we were talking about earlier, about programing." Terry was confused but didn't interrupt. "I explained how my core programming was to basically become Superman as much as possible. But that conflicts when I do or feel something different. Clark is straight so I thought I had to be straight as well. But straight guys aren't attracted to other guys as well as girls. Clark was understanding but to me it felt like this was another defect like how I can't fly or have heat vision. So I buried it down even if no one else seemed bothered by it. I was in love with Megan but she changed and I didn't like the person she was becoming. Even so I stuck around longer than I should have and then it became a real problem. I'm glad she's getting help but we've both moved on.

"With Dick it wasn't an instant attraction. He was just 13 when we met but as we got older I noticed he was becoming more and more attractive. He's always been caring, smart and is always looking out for everyone. It'd be hard not to be attracted. Still he was usually with a girl and there was still that part of me that said this wasn't someone Superman would be attracted to.

"And then out of the blue you show up, cheer him up after Wally died and pretty much sweep him off his feet. I just felt so cheated. Not by you but by myself. My stupid internal conflict told me it wasn't right and I couldn't have him. Seeing you two together was like a slap in the face. I felt like I missed my chance because I wouldn't let myself be happy just because I was different."

Terry was not expecting this and he didn't think Connor planned to reveal this much either. But this seemed like this was something he needed to get out of his system and he just let Terry rant and rave so he happily returned the favor.

"I know it was wrong and I still have feelings for him but I shouldn't have tried to interfere. If I'm being honest I was more mad at myself then angry at you. I know you care about him and in the end I really do want to see him happy."

Terry stood back up and looked Superboy in the eye.

"While I'm not happy with what you did, I don't hate you for it. Dick means a lot to both of us so I'm willing to bury the hatchet if you are." The taller boy smiled.

"I'd like that." They shook on it and both felt like a weight had been lifted off their shoulder.

To be continued…

Next Time: Everyone is finally safe and everything seems to be looking up. Life couldn't be better…I think we all know what that means.