A/N: Per usual, FFN butchered the formatting on this one. I'm working on fixing it, but I highly suggest reading it on AO3.

You've Got Mail! (Commander Shepard Edition.)

Encrypted Internal Communications
Normandy SR2

From: Jshep
To: Hammond999
Sent: 7-05-2185
Status: Unread

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hammond,

My name is John Shepard. I was part of the team that liberated several Terra Nova slaves from Batarian capture in 2183. I believe your son, Brian, was among them – along with your adopted daughter Alice. It has come to light that a woman on my team, freed shortly after your children, raised Alice. I wanted to check in and see how Alice was acclimating.

Please write or call any time. My omni number is 4454-928-22591

Sincerely,
John Shepard

From: Garrus_VK2180
To: Jshep
7-07-2185

What the hell Shepard? Didn't you stop to think that maybe trips down memory lane aren't a great idea for Jane?

From: Jshep
To: Garrus_VK2180
7-07-2185

She's walking around with no concept of who she is or where she's from. I damn well care about that.

From: Garrus_VK2180
To: Jshep
7-07-2185

Where she's from is buried under a mountain of crap. And she remembers more than you realize. More than she realizes.

From: Jshep
To: Garrus_VK2180
7-07-2185

?

From: Jshep
To: Garrus_VK2180
7-07-2185

Don't leave me hanging like that man.

From: Garrus_VK2180
To: Jshep
7-07-2185

I think the whole problem is that she does remember you. And now her mind has access to a time that's been in the dark for a long while. This is someone who relies on her instincts 100% of the time. Not just in combat situations. She's constantly analyzing everything around her. Anything gives her so much as a twinge and she's on alert. Whatever is going on … just respect that she's not herself around you.

From: Jshep
To: Garrus_VK2180
7-07-2185

That's tuned in coming from you.

From: Garrus_VK2180
To: Jshep
7-07-2185

She was my charge for a year! I lived with this woman. Of course I know what makes her tick.

From: Jshep
To: Garrus_VK2180
7-07-2185

Then help me! This in-between can't be good for her if today was any indication.

From: Garrus_VK2180
To: Jshep
7-07-2185

On that we can agree. But I'm not sure all this looking backwards is healthy. Since the moment she was mobile, all she's done is move forward. It's … inspiring. And has clearly been good for her.

From: Jshep
To: Garrus_VK2180
7-07-2185

What else am I supposed to do? If she doesn't remember me, I can't help her. She was living on a high-radiation planet and has yet to see a doctor. That shit is crazy dangerous. Chakwas should've seen her the second she boarded the Normandy. And I know you're trying to help with this, but it's moving at a snails pace. Her feet are a mess. I don't know how she runs on them. And if all that weren't enough, she's clearly had some sort of break with reality. I'm worried and trying to do right by my family.

Help me.

From: Garrus_VK2180
To: Jshep
7-07-2185

With the way you wield guilt, no wonder they put you in command.

But you've made your point. She remembers human music. And I can't imagine she heard much of that on Kar'Shan.

From: Jshep
To: Garrus_VK2180

I'm going to need a bit more than that.

From: Garrus_VK2180
To: Jshep

Krul would have been the one to ask. I'm not the most musically inclined, and never paid much attention to it. Try Tali. She has spyware in Jane's omni-tool. I say that's a violation of privacy, but if anyone knows, it's her.

From: Jshep
To: Garrus_VK2180

I know you have your reservations about this. But I wanted to say thank you.

From: Garrus_VK2180
To: Jshep

You can thank me by not letting today happen again.

From: PowerPixie
To: Jshep
7-07-2185

I witnessed Jane's little episode when she ran through the mess. After talking with Officer Vakarian and Dr. Chakwas, I have some ideas about happened today and why her memory is altered.

Kelly Chambers

From: Jshep
To: PowerPixie
7-07-2185

I'm all ears.

From: PowerPixie
To: Jshep
7-07-2185

I haven't had enough time to put together a psych profile. But I'm told she's highly creative with a talent for music and drawing, along with a love for stories. Does this line up?

From: Jshep
To: PowerPixie
7-07-2185

Kelly, my sister won't let me anywhere near her. You probably know more than me.

From: PowerPixie
To: Jshep
7-07-2185

I'm SO sorry Shepard. I wasn't thinking.

From: Jshep
To: PowerPixie
7-07-2185

Don't worry about it. I am interested in that theory though.

From: PowerPixie
To: Jshep
7-07-2185

When you were in our medical ward, I was granted access to your family's personal e-storage. It's what I used to develop a psychological profile for you. We needed to ensure your mind was intact. But there were other files as well. School assignments. Things like that. This one caught my eye.

Attached: JaneShepard2169

He hit download. And a moment later, he was scrolling through the colorful images of a comic-strip. The lines were wobbly and undisciplined – hinting at the author's youth. It depicted a little girl, Jilly, who suffered from debilitating asthma. She kept having to go to the doctor, her friends made fun of her, and life generally sucked. Then the doctor concocted a miraculous treatment. It cured the girl's asthma, but came with side effects. The next several pages were dedicated toward Jilly's newfound ability to fly. She soared over houses and fields, eventually becoming a super-hero that protected her colony from various evils. Although, Jilly's foes were adorably young. One was a sewer monster with red eyes and green, pock-marked skin. The other a giant-broccoli-creature that spat brown sauce and chased her through space. Jilly soared through the stars, without the need of such trivialities as a space ship or suit to travel, battling the broccoli-monster at every turn.

Sound familiar? Your parents submitted this to a local children's art contest. It's sophisticated for an almost-eight-year-old. Don't you think? :)

From: Jshep
To: PowerPixie

I'm seeing the similarities. But… I don't get why this would affect her memory.

From: PowerPixie
To: Jshep

Highly creative people are, by nature, malleable. And Jane has quite the imagination. It allowed her to escape into her own head during traumatic events. Her body might have been where it was, but her mind was not. Then, somewhere along the way, her imaginary worlds became more real to her than her memories, maybe even the world around her. The brother she remembers is more fantasy than reality.

That said, I don't think it's a malignant behavior. In fact, I think it saved her.

From: Jshep
To: PowerPixie

Thank you Kelly. That really clears things up for me. Do you have any suggestions as to how to reach her? I'm out of my depth here.

From: PowerPixie
To: Jshep

I'd start with what Officer Vakarian mentioned. He came to talk with me, and I couldn't agree more – you need to reach Jane with a language she understands. Music is universal.

From: Jshep
To: Talizorah_Vas_Neema

Sorry to bother you Tali. I know you're working on that geth in addition to your engineering duties, but I was hoping I could pick your brain about human music Jane may know. I'm looking to reach her with something she remembers from Mindoir. Garrus and Kelly suggested music.

From:Talizorah_Vas_Neema
To: Jshep
7-07-2185
22:22

You're never bothering me. I've attached several audio books. Most she recorded on Omega. But a few are from her time on Tuchanka. I'd start there.

Let me know if you need anything else.

Sounds of Kar'Shan (Audiobook 1)

Track list:

Adagio in D
Allegra in C
Prism of Light
nahr alqamar

Club Covers (Audiobook 2)

Track list:

thank u, next
Havana
Bury a Friend
I Feel Better When I'm Dancing
Lissabon

From:Talizorah_Vas_Neema
To: Jshep
7-09-2185
00:11

Actually, would you like some company? This is your past too. No one should delve into that alone.

From: Jshep
To: Talizorah_Vas_Neema
7-09-2185
00:18

Thanks Tali, but I've got a lot to sort through.

From:Talizorah_Vas_Neema
To: Jshep
7-09-2185
00:19

That's the point. ;) Have you found anything?

From: Jshep
To: Talizorah_Vas_Neema
7-09-2185
00:21

Yeah – a song I know from my teenage years. Went through the whole club-mix album before realizing, she probably doesn't know which parts of her memory are batarian and which are human. Found it buried in 'Sounds of Kar'Shan.' It's a song my old girlfriend, Kristy, used to be obsessed with. I guess that makes sense, given the way Jane idolized her.

From:Talizorah_Vas_Neema
To: Jshep
7-09-2185
00:22

I'm coming up.

From: Jshep
To: Talizorah_Vas_Neema
7-09-2185
00:24

I'm not at my best right now.

From:Talizorah_Vas_Neema
To: Jshep
7-09-2185
00:25

Shepard, I was there when they rebuilt you. I meant it when I said you don't have to hide anything from me.

From: Jshep
To: Talizorah_Vas_Neema
7-09-2185
00:26

I appreciate that Tali. Sometimes I forget, you must've seen me pretty bad off. But I'm also your commander. There are boundaries, even in a friendship, I can't cross.

From:Talizorah_Vas_Neema
To: Jshep
7-09-2185
00:29

Think of it as helping me worry less. The truth is, I have you at a disadvantage these days. I know… so much about you that you never chose to share. It's a weird position to be in. And there's nothing you can do that will make me think less of you as a commander or question your orders.

I know about Kristy. Including what happened to her. Maybe I'm reading into things, or maybe it's too personal. If so, I'm sorry for that. But I also know that she was the last person you ever committed to.

Jane's clearly been through hell. No one can argue that. And I think it's touching that you're so intent on helping her. But who helps you? Don't discount what you've been through.

I don't expect Commander Shepard when I get up there. This is just one friend helping another.

From:Talizorah_Vas_Neema
To: Jshep
7-09-2185
00:42

Shepard?

From: Jshep
To: Talizorah_Vas_Neema
7-09-2185
00:43

Sorry. I just needed a minute to digest that.

Come up. I'd appreciate the company.