A/N: I have been gone for so long! Many life changes. I've chosen to serve my country. Now that my training is over, I can get back to my passion that is writing. Enjoy, and forgive me if I am rusty. It's been so long!

Chapter 12

I don't know when Viktor managed to snap a very pregnant—and very greedy—photo of me balancing a plate of macaroons atop my belly, peering up at him happily. But I only find out later when notifications start streaming through on my phone nearly constantly.

It is a nice picture, admittedly. Likely because Viktor edited it phenomenally with at least a dozen different apps before posting. The caption "It's a Boy!" burns into my retinas. I just wish I had more time to prepare for the world's scrutiny instead of finding out when they did.

"Vityaaaaa!" I complain over the phone's speaker. He's home, but the house is rather large and he's all the way in the basement dance studio. Too far for either of us to hear even if we yelled. "You know how I feel about all this attention!"

"I never understood why you'd let such beauty go to waste. Look at it! You're gorgeous! Everyone says so!"

I groan and pull the covers over my head. Not the point, but not the first time we've had such a conversation. I'm just painfully shy about things of this nature for full public consumption.

The music pauses in the phone's background. "Lyubov, I can delete it if you'd prefer..?"

I am overreacting. Logically I know this. Emotionally it still makes me squirm at the notifications rolling in across the top of my screen.

I finally click on the batch of ignored notifications, which opens Instagram and the photo in question.

Oh he's far along!

Girl or boy? Don't keep it from us!

He's GLOWING!

He's going to be such a great parent!

Fighting!

The comments are warm, to say the least. I have yet to see any trolls. Though it could very well be Viktor is actively deleting them. Either way, I relax a bit.

"No," I finally answer, "don't take it down. It's nice. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I love you. Now back to bed, you didn't sleep enough last night."

My face heats up at the memory of why that was. "And who's fault is that?"

His laugh on the other end warms me to my toes. "Yours of course. Bed! I'll wake you later."

I don't end up sleeping. After laying wide awake for an hour, I give up the idea of sleep in favor of house chores. Yet another hour ticks by the time Viktor comes back up to wash the sweat of ballet off his back. Not before scolding me for doing too much lifting and bending. I'm pregnant, not incapacitated!

In the midst of my folding the freshly dried laundry is when I pause to put a hand over my mouth, fighting back the rush of saliva in my mouth and the dry heave threatening to follow.

I do not move, aside from reaching out to the counter top to steady myself from mild dizziness.

Viktor finds me like that, dressed to go out to the rink but pauses at my stillness. "Lyubov...?"

For a moment, I say nothing. Because if I speak, I will most certainly throw up all over our linens. I can only focus on my breathing until the roiling in my stomach relaxes and the lightheadedness goes away. A long breath is released by both of us once I finally let go of the counter and resume folding again.

Viktor sidles up behind me to place tentative hands on the now very round belly. "Shall I cancel and go to the doctor's appointment with you?"

"No, no. It's just nausea. You know how that is with me." Smiling, I pat his hands in reassurance and then shoo him away. "Go, you'll be late. And I need to finish!"

Besides, Viktor had a local competition coming up. He had lost enough rink time accompanying me to weekly appointments. It was crunch time, and we didn't need my saying aloud how much cleaning up his routine needed.

He was scowling, of course. But after hesitation he conceded the point and left after a kiss was placed on my temple. And a directive to take the day to myself. I intended to do just that. Beyond the doctors visit and prepping dinner for the evening, I had no other plans for the day.

Yurio accompanies my trip to the clinic whenever he could. Rarely did he let me go alone. A soft side most of the population would never get to witness.

"Up onto the table," Dr. Khaykis says cheerfully whilst her back is to me. She is applying gloves and thankfully looking away while I struggle to do just as she said. Being that I am in my second trimester and nearing my third, my belly is quite an inconvenience in moving the way I'd like to. But the inconvenience is worth it. A milestone for me. All my previous attempts abruptly ended by month three. I am finally double that!

Not without great pains and precautions to get here. I manage just barely to toe the line of required weight due to the nausea. Abated some but still there, presenting itself at the more inopportune moments.

Finally on the table, I sigh and relax, chuckling a the kick the baby delivers. I rub the spot, catching both Yurio and the doctor grinning at the act.

Dr. Khaykis lifts the gown to reveal my stomach, now peppered with the tiger stripes of itchy stretch marks. Perhaps one of the only things I dislike about my journey are those. Yurio had little to none. I have no such luck.

As always, I'm never prepared for the semi-cool goop that makes contact against skin right before she rolls the device across my belly. Immediately, three pairs of eyes glue themselves to the screen, followed by three pairs of smiles.

"The heartbeat is strong," the doctor confirms, followed by the comment that growth development is going normally. "You said you were still having those sharp pains..?"

I nod. Sitting too long certainly hurt my hips, but standing too long did the same in my lower back, down my legs. "It feels about the same. It comes and goes, why? Is something wrong?"

She shakes her head. "No, just that I can see the baby is still in the same spot. It will move eventually as they grow to find a more comfortable position." She continues to move the device around, now more for my viewing pleasure to see the 3D face of the fetus within me. "Any other symptoms?"

"Still nauseous, but I've accepted that as my new normal. Heartburn, now, that's a new one."

"Any others?"

"Umm…my…hair is falling out a bit I think? I don't know, maybe I'm just not careful when combing it."

Dr. Khaykis pulls the device away and cleans my stomach before concealing it again. Back to cleansing her device, she answers me. "Hair thinning is a symptom that some experience. It will usually stop post partum. We can discuss fixes once we reach that point. Now, your vitals mostly seem alright but I am concerned about your blood pressure. If you begin to experience any swelling in your legs and feet, you must tell me, yes?"

I nod, already sitting up. The mention about the blood pressure is not new news. It was a topic of discussion for the last several appointments, but while my pressure has gone up a bit, it's not become a danger and hasn't caused swelling. I take it as a win.

The doctor leaves so I can change into my clothing , and Yurio lets out a breath. "You just had to have every damn pregnancy symptom under the sun, didn't you?"

I laugh as I tie my sweatpants and then pull the larger tshirt over my head. "I know, dramatic much?"

"Ridiculous."

"You can have all my symptoms plus one more at your next try for a kid," I joke back. I pull open the door and get ready to head out. When I don't hear a return chuckle or statement, I glance over my shoulder.

Yurio isn't laughing, but looks a bit uncomfortable. I shut the door again, but instead he waves his hand for me to continue, insisting we discuss it in the car. I don't push the issue until we get into my vehicle, but I don't start the car either; allowing the silence to settle comfortably around us. Like Viktor, Yurio likes to have time to sort his thoughts before putting them into words

"Otabek wants another baby," he finally starts.

In normal circumstances, I might have congratulated and urged them to go for it. Except…I notice he didn't say 'we'. Just Otabek.

Fiddling with the fidget ring on his thumb, Yurio continues. "I don't want anymore kids. I know I told him I'd pop out as many as he'd wanted. But the truth is…I'm not quite over my last experience with labor. I almost died, for Christ sake! I love our little Vasotchka with all my being. I'm so happy we have her. I'd kill for her, Yuuri. But the idea of enduring childbirth again when in still in damn therapy for that experience…"

I remember that scary experience quite well. I had been there for it. He'd bled so much just because of one little mishap…Vasilisa very nearly ended up with just one parent. Otabek almost became a father and widower in one fell swoop.

Childbirth is a birthing parents' brush with death. A risk we take. One I take now. I resist the urge to shudder at the reminder.

Clearing my throat, I reach out with palm upward, and he takes the offer of comfort. "Yurio, just as you've once said to me: communication fixes most things between two people. He deserves to know your stance on this. Your fears. That your reservations don't mean you love him any less.

"And that you reserve the right to say no to bearing anymore children. You may both raise them, but the one to carry the life-threatening burden of pregnancy and labor is ultimately just you. And that has to count for something."

The comfortable silence returns to envelope us again, both of us likely having the same thoughts. What is to stop Otabek from commanding Yurio to procreate? What stopped Viktor from commanding me to give up trying?

Likely the irreversible, permanent rupture it would cause to both our marriages. A marriage that relied on trust and open discussions. On compromise. On love. All things that would be obliterated if our Alphas imposed their positions over us. That's just not how our dynamics were, and our marriages would inevitably fail if either of our Alphas ever chose to stoop to such an unfair level.

Yurio let's go of my hand to put on his seatbelt, and I take the cue to start up the car. "Sorry to dump that on you. It's not to scare you off your upcoming labor," he says."

But I bruh it off with a shrug. "I knew what I was risking by asking for this, with my being high-risk. Let's just hope science and medical intervention will come through for me when it counts most, yeah?"

A silent prayer between us both.