Chapter 6

Jon had absolutely no intention of spending the night here.

He wouldn't sleep for one. For two, it would feel wrong. Crashing here with her would just be wrong while she was grieving for her husband, her lost child…the loss of a future she had planned out. He cleared his throat, shuffled off his boots, and rifled in his bag. Jon set out his salt, lime, and the bottle on her dresser top, procuring a pocketknife from his back pocket. In a few minutes, he was using the plastic cups provided near the coffee pot to drink his lime and heavily salted tequila.

"Cheers, Tres." He slammed it down.

"Yeah, cheers…"

The waterworks had begun with her third shot, tears sliding down her cheeks freely. She took her shirt off, tossed it to the side, and stood up from the bed to walk around to her bag, rifling through it. Pulling out a t-shirt, Tressa pulled it over her head and took her shorts off next, inhaling the scent of it. Joseph. She had packed away a few of his t-shirts to bring on the road with her and it just made the tears fall faster and harder. Pouring the fourth shot, she downed it without hesitation and laid on the bed, propping up against the headboard with the bottle in one hand and shot glass in the other, closing her eyes. When they opened, after she felt the bed dip, Jon was right there staring at her and she lowered her eyes, wiping her tears away that kept falling.

"I-I warned you…"

"You did," He dangled a bandana over her face, rolling his pale blues when she ignored it and began mopping her face for her. "Joseph would probably be a bit pissed if he could see you now."

Nobody would ever accuse Jon of possessing tact, that was for sure. Was that annoyance that sparked in those gray eyes? He wasn't entirely sure. The bandana was soaked now, he used his thumb to catch the next tear that rolled down her pale cheek. Moving to sit on the bed instead of hovering over her, Jon reached for the fresh glass he had set on the bedside stand and drained it. The bottle of tequila was right there, he would probably drink straight from the bottle.

"I don't care! He stole my fucking heart and it's buried six feet under with him! He can be pissed all he wants and when I see him again someday, I'm going to beat the hell out of him for putting me through this!" Tressa cried out, taking the bottle of Vodka and taking a swig right from it, foregoing the shot glass. "He made me fall in love with him, planned a future with him, and then God ripped it all away from me." He was up there now, somewhere, with their unborn child and she was stuck down here, in a world of misery, heartache, and pain. "I-I don't understand how he couldn't have known about the enlarged heart. Who goes through their entire life without knowing something like that? It makes no sense to me, Jon. None of this makes any damn sense to me and I wish it did. I wish I knew why my husband was taken away from me and why I lost the only piece of him I had left in the baby. It's not fair, none of this is fair! W-What did I do to deserve this?!" As far as Tressa knew, she was a good person and had never wronged anyone in her life.

"Darlin', life doesn't give a rat's ass on fair." Jon informed her, turning his head and brought his fist up to muffle his tequila burp. That was immediately followed by a tequila burn and he chased it down with yet another shot of tequila, straight from the bottle. "None of us get to pick and choose, we don't always get answers, and it sucks, but that's how it works. What really sucks is when you think you're at the very bottom, it can't get any worse, life comes along with a shovel, digs a hole, and kicks you right down into it." Like it had her. "What's important is that you still try climbing out of it, even if it is just to reach for a bottle."

Hating to admit it, what Jon said made a lot of sense.

He was right, life didn't care about fairness. Neither did fate. When it was a person's time to leave this earth, nothing would stop it. The Reaper had a job to do just like everyone else and everyone had a time limit in this world, in this life. "I-I don't know how else to numb the pain." Her voice came out in a whisper, sobs threatening to overtake her, and she tried to swallow them down.

Alcohol was the only way she could think of to numb herself.

"E-Every time I close my eyes, I'm back there…in that house…in that bathroom…with him lying in that tub…"

Taking another hefty swig of Vodka, Tressa didn't realize it, but she was opening up to someone about what happened for the first time since Joseph's death. Without comprehending it, she was lifting a huge burden off herself and her heart, by simply talking about it, instead of keeping it bottled up inside. Jon closed his eyes, his mind doing a great job of painting a mental image for him to explore as she described what she had woken up to, and walked into.

He had met Joseph a few times over the years he had known Tressa. She had brought him to a few company events and, since he had driven a semi, there were those rare times when their paths would cross, and they would take the time to see each other. They had been happy, he definitely remembered that. It was what had stopped him from flirting with her and pursuing something with her. He could see Tressa, shaking and sobbing, a phone cradled between ear and shoulder as she was forced to try reviving a dead man, wondering if the operator knew how cruel she was being, the damage it would cause down the road.

"I'm sorry you went through that alone." He rumbled gravely when she stopped talking for a second time.

"T-That's why I tried calling you. To tell you about his death and…the services." Tressa admitted quietly, once her sobs had died down and all that was left were slow tears. "I understand why you cut yourself off from the world though." Dealing with MRSA, on top of trying to heal his arm to get back in the ring, to do what he loved most in this world…Tressa couldn't imagine what Jon had been through. "I-I know I didn't give you a warm welcome back, but…" Her watery, swollen greys lifted to meet soft, slightly glazed blues. "I'm glad you're here, Jon. I-I missed you when you were gone. I even told Joseph a few times I felt lost without you because it just wasn't the same with Colby and Joe…and not you. He joked that you were my work husband." That made her giggle, though it still sounded sad. "I agreed with him. He was all 'now you have two husbands to look after you, brat'." Joseph always called her a brat. That was her special nickname for him. His lovely brat. "God, I miss that man so much…" She took another swig and shut her eyes, leaning her head against Jon's shoulder.

Even if he had answered his phone, and responded to text messages, Jon wouldn't have been able to come to her. There would have been no way. A month on antibiotics, after that first initial week, hadn't left him in any condition to travel. Not when he was constantly having the myriad of disgusting bodily side effects that kept him within mere feet of a bathroom and change of clothes.

"You're going too, darlin', he was a great guy." That was true, what he knew of Joseph from the times he had met the man.

He had been kind and friendly to everyone and it had been clear how much he loved his wife. He had also taken Jon's relationship with Tressa in stride; there had been no jealousy over their relationship, from Jon's understanding, and he knew it took a damn secure, confident man for that, given the nature of Tressa's job. Jon wrapped his arm around her, moving so they were both leaning back against the headboard, his own bottle of tequila in his free hand.

"I-I don't want to be alone. And I am. It terrifies me, Jon. I have to go tomorrow – or rather today – to my parents' house and I'm actually considering just either staying on the road or getting a hotel out there where they are." Tressa had her own bottle of Vodka between her thighs and sniffled, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. "I-I can't go back to that house where he…where he…" Unable to finish that sentence, Jon pressed a finger to her lips to let her know he understood, having set his bottle of Tequila between his own thighs and let her cry on his chest. Loneliness had really set in for Tressa over the past 3 months, especially when she would stay with her parents and she had nobody to comfort her or talk to her like this. "Damn it…"

Jon hadn't met her family, which sounded like a good idea, because she seemed to have a love/hate relationship with them. That seemed fairly normal for the common American family, but in times like these, he figured all the weirdness would get put on the backburner. That or she just didn't want to go home and be forced to endure the same old sympathies and coddling that came with being around parents.

"Do you want to stay at my place?" He offered without even thinking, which was odd. Jon valued his privacy, especially in today's over-informed world. "It's set out away from the city, but there's no one around to bother you and maybe the change of scenery will do you some good."

Did Jon just offer her a place to stay? Would that be cheating on Joseph? It wasn't like she would sleep with him or anything. She'd have her own room, surely, and they weren't home more than a couple of times a month due to the hectic WWE schedule. Would staying with Jon really be so bad? Her parents would probably have a coronary if she did this, but at the same time, Tressa had to do what she thought best.

"You really don't mind?" She wouldn't be alone because Jon would be there, so that was a huge plus. Jon lived in Las Vegas, a place she had only seen whenever WWE rolled into town and there was never any time to really sightsee or take the area in. "This might be my buzz talking, but…all right, I'll stay with you for a while until I can get up the courage to find my own place. Thank you, Jon." This meant more to her than he'd ever know. "My parents are going to flip shit and I have no fucks to give."

"You're a grown-ass woman, they'll deal. It's not like you have to tell them anything other than you're staying with a friend." Which was all totally true, though she would be smart to omit the part about it being a male friend.

Sometimes, people got judgmental when they had no business to. Hell, Tressa was probably going to wind up judging herself, staying with another man when her husband wasn't even in the ground for more than a few months. He didn't understand it. Society and its 'polite rules', its 'norms', sometimes it just didn't make any sense.

"You can sleep on it, Tres, I'll remind you tomorrow." Jon had no idea if she was the kind of drunk who remembered conversations or not, so…yeah, he'd remind her, after she had dealt with her hangover.

"I'll remember, so you better book me a flight to Vegas with you for tomorrow."

Once Tressa's mind was made up, there was no changing it. She was stubborn that way, which was one of the things Joseph always loved about her. Hell, Tressa wasn't even worried about sex because, honestly, she was thinking of going completely celibate. How could she sleep with another man after her husband died? No, she would pass and would rather drown her sorrows in a bottle instead of dick any day of the week. Yawning, she scooted further down on the bed and Jon joined her, since his arm was still around her, her hand resting over his heart.

"Don't leave, please." Maybe, just maybe, he would chase away the dreams and she'd be able to wake up normally instead of from a nightmare.

Jon inwardly groaned because he had been planning on leaving once she was asleep, but hearing that plea in her tone…how could he deny her? "I won't, darlin'." He whispered reassuringly, kissing the top of her head before tightening his arms around her and pulling her close. Feeling her body slowly relaxing, bit by bit, his own followed suit.

Maybe tonight they'd both get a restful night's sleep.

"Mom…"

"Tressa, you need to come home. You have two days off and we want to be here for you. Please, sweetheart…"

Tressa inwardly groaned, not wanting to disappoint her mother, but the woman was overbearing and too overprotective. "Mom…"

"Life is too short. Joseph is gone and you need us right now more than ever." Her mother, Eva, started crying on the phone while her husband, Steve, consoled her, rubbing her back. "Please, Tressie…"

Glancing over at Jon while they sat in the airport, Tressa knew deep down what was best for her and slowly shook her head. "Life IS too short, Mom. And I'm spending the rest of mine the way I want. I'm staying with my friend for a while, so you're gonna have to deal with it. I gotta go, our flight was just called."

Not really, but it was the only way to get her off the phone as Tressa hung up to her sobbing mother, rolling her eyes. As if she didn't feel horrible enough from both her hangover and her tragic losses. The woman had no tact or class to throw in her face 'life is too short'. She knew that better than anyone. Jon took the cell from Tressa, ignoring her 'give it back'. He powered it down and pocketed it without even blinking.

"You can have it back after your days off are up. I'm not going to have them badgering your ass and making you even more miserable than what you already are, darlin'." Nope, he fully expected her misery, her grief, and wouldn't let her family -well-meaning or not- add guilt and other shit to top that all off, not on his watch. "Come on, get up and walk around with me." Time to get her mind off of that call; her mother was… not someone he would want to meet anytime soon.

"She's such a bitch saying 'life's too short' to me, like I don't know that! Is it any wonder I don't want to stay with her or my Dad?" Though, her Dad wasn't nearly as bad as her mother. "I get she's worried about me and wants to help me, but telling me shit like that, trying to guilt-trip me…I'm going through enough with Joe's family and I DON'T need my own starting bullshit with me." She spoke while walking with Jon, letting him hold her hand. It was comforting to not be alone and to be able to voice her thoughts and feelings out loud instead of keeping it all bottled up inside. "Sorry, I'm bitching again."

The walking came to an abrupt stop as Jon pulled her to stand directly in front of him. He bent down, cupping her face in his strong hands, and stared straight into those troubled, sad gray eyes. "DON'T you ever apologize. Not to me, not to ANYONE. Right now, what you're going through, not many people are going to get it and you never need to apologize for what you're feeling, or what you need to do to get through, and you never have to apologize to ME. Bitch if you want, cry, rage, I don't care, darlin'. I'm not going anywhere."

Tears slid down her cheeks at his sweet, intense words as Tressa reached up to cover her hands with his, nodding in understanding. He meant every word that came out of his mouth. She could see it in his eyes and feel it in his touch, his thumbs wiping away the tears that fell.

"Thank you." She whispered, not trusting her voice at the moment and Jon drew her against him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. "I am going to need my phone back, though. My lawyer is going to call me on my days off and…" Jon pulled back from her enough to lock eyes with her again and Tressa shut her own, suddenly remembering she didn't tell him. "I just need my phone back. If my Mom calls, I won't answer it, I promise."

Jon wanted to ask questions; his curiosity was back up. What was her lawyer calling her for? He figured all that would have been handled within the first few weeks of Joseph's death. Admittedly, he had no real idea how these things worked since he had never been married, never lost a loved one the way she had. Maybe Joseph had debts, or some weird insurance policy Tressa was having to dance through hoops for. Sighing, he contemplated her, finally pulling the cell out of his pocket.

"I'm not kidding, Tres, don't answer for people who are going to make things worse." He said firmly, placing it into her waiting palm.

"Yes, Daddy." Tressa rolled her eyes, clasping her fingers around the device, and laughed at his response.

"Don't make me bend you over my knee, kitten."

"Uh-huh, sure you would." Tressa patted his cheek with her hand as they continued walking, thankful Jon didn't ask about the lawyer bit.

That was something she didn't want anyone to know about because she was handling it very quietly. So far, Joseph's family hadn't brought her job into the mix, but it was only a matter of time. Dirt sheets and tabloids would have loved to get their paws on what was going on in her personal life – the life of a WWE employee, no less. Sometimes, this job wasn't as great as it was cracked up to be, but at least the pay more than compensated for the bad.