Chapter 14

Jon came out with tequila, lime, and salt.

Joe and Colby had got themselves a twelve pack to share, neither commenting on the carton of cigarettes their friend had bought or his choice in liquor. Whatever, they figured they weren't driving with him or his hangover tomorrow. "Let's go. They're going to order pizza from the car," One of them was anyway. "Anything in particular you want from Pizza Hut?" Jon thought that's what they said they were ordering from anyway. "They're buying." He added teasingly.

"Yeah, with the hundred you handed us." Joe snorted.

"Thanks, and no just get whatever you guys want." Tressa replied, heading to the rental car, and wondered if now was the time to bring up the issues between her and Jon.

No, definitely not. She didn't want to talk about it, honestly, and figured maybe he'd gotten the hint after what happened earlier at the arena. A few minutes later, they were on their way to the hotel with classic rock playing softly through the speakers. Then, Kansas came on and she immediately shut the radio off, shutting her eyes because she couldn't listen to 'Carry on My Wayward Son'. She would start bawling her eyes out and freak the guys out, which was the last thing she wanted to do before even telling them about Joseph's death.

"Hey, we could have listened to… uh… what's a Cardi B?" Jon had no idea who the hell that was because he didn't usually listen to mainstream radio, unless it was a rock station. He laughed when she gave him a very half-assed snort and an equally half-assed smile, reaching over to take her hand. "I'm sorry, by the way, for earlier. That was outta line." And he would so do it again, and more if she would only let him.

"Jon…" She grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together, squeezing while looking at him since they were at a red light. "It's not that I don't like you kissing me, because I do. I just…you mean too much to me to use you for sex, for a distraction. I care about you and I always have, and I always will. You deserve a woman who can give you what you need completely, who can give you ALL of her." She couldn't because her heart was in a six-foot-deep grave with her dead husband. "Because that's all it would be between us is a distraction. And I can't…" Tears filled her eyes as she looked down, wiping a stray tear away from her cheek. "I can't lose you too. I won't make it if I lose you, Jon." Her voice cracked as tears began sliding down her cheeks, her hand trembling against his. "And Cardi B can go suck an egg."

Well, that definitely put a kibosh on anything he may or may not have been planning anytime soon. Jon brought her hand up to kiss her fingertips before lowering it back down to her lap, squeezing gently. "Tressa, whether we had sex, or we don't, or if you think I'm trying to steal your heart or…anything, we're always going to be friends." If anything would have ruined their relationship, it would have been her calling out another man's name, dead or not, when he had been the one pleasuring her. "I'll behave, quit your worrying."

A fact she STILL didn't realize she'd done. "Thank you."

She clasped her hands in her lap, not reaching for his again, and looked out the window, feeling a little better now that Jon knew where she stood. The rest of the drive was made in silence with Jon turning the radio back on classic rock. Thank the stars there was no Kansas playing, it was AC/DC and she tried not to laugh watery at him while he sang the song off-key. Once they arrived at the hotel, Jon lead her up to the room they were sharing with Colby and Joe following.

"The pizza should be here in about 25-30 minutes."

"Okay." Tressa took her bag into the bathroom, telling the guys to make themselves comfortable and she would be out in a minute.

"She was crying again," Joe observed, keeping his voice low, and watched Jon nod. "She gonna be up for this?"

"If she's not, she'll change her mind."

"Okay boys, everyone settled?"

Tressa walked out in a nightshirt that went to her knees, leaving her bra and panties on, and cracked open her bottle of Absolut, with her newly bought shot glass, filling it with the clear liquid before knocking it back. Then another. And another after that. Three shots down, she felt she had enough liquid courage to get through this and turned to stare at her friends.

"Jon knows about this already, so this will just be a repeat of what I told him." She moved to the window, looking out of it in thought and silence filled the room for a few minutes. "My husband's dead. He died almost 4 months ago."

Colby had been a bit focused on the amount of vodka she had just knocked back like a freaking pro, but those words penetrated his 'holy shit' fog. "Joe's dead?" He echoed, so much suddenly just falling to place for him.

It explained so much, especially the drastic change in her behavior, and he felt like a tool for not…knowing, he supposed. Not that there was any way he could have known, not without Googling or seriously trying to pry into her life, but who thought about looking for someone who may or may not be dead? Just thinking that 'who died' was morbid and not something people did. No…they usually went to divorce first, then anything BUT death.

"Oh… Tres," He whispered, clearing his throat. "Honey, I'm so sorry."

Joe just stood there shell-shocked, unable to open his mouth to say anything. He felt as if his own heart was ripped out of his chest at the sight of the tears pouring freely down her cheeks. She wasn't making a sound, but the raw anguish and pain radiating from her made his stomach tighten, along with his heart. He looked over at Jon, who had cracked open his bottle of tequila, and then looked back at Tressa, who hadn't moved from the window.

"Jesus…" He whispered, rubbing the back of his neck and really didn't know what to say to her. "N-Nobody deserves to go through that, Tres…"

"He had an enlarged heart." She had to speak somewhat slow to get through this, her voice cracking, and stayed where she was to keep distance between her and the boys. "He always had such a big heart," Her hand covered her own beating one and shut her eyes. "It put a lot of stress and turmoil on his other organs and…he died in our shower. I found him. He basically sat down in the tub and leaned his head back and fell asleep…and never woke up again. They said he didn't suffer and there was no pain he felt…"

"That's… good." Wow, Colby felt lame and awkward saying that, but…wasn't it good? That he had died without pain? He groaned and let his head drop forward. "I mean, at least he didn't suffer." Yeah, he probably wasn't making this any better and just shut the hell up before he really said something stupid.

Jon was just calmly squeezing lime into his bathroom plastic cup of tequila, having already rimmed the edge in his salt. He kept his own head down, focusing on what he was doing. Having heard this already, it didn't stop his heart from doing painful twinges, hearing that anguish in her voice, and knowing tonight was going to be a 'drink until you pass out' night for her.

Joe had cracked open a beer, sipping it quietly while she spoke and when he saw her placing her hand over her heart again, he set it down. He wanted to go hug her, but… he wasn't sure if she would allow it and he didn't want to push. Not after she had finally opened up to them.

"That's not all." Another shot went down because she really needed to numb the pain she currently felt in her heart. "I didn't just lose my husband. One month after I had to bury him, I…" This was a lot harder to talk about than she thought as she grabbed the bottom, tossed the shot glass aside, and took a long swig from it, still staring out the window. "I-I had a miscarriage. We'd been trying to get pregnant for a while and…I was pregnant when he died…and didn't know it. They said the stress of everything caved on me and it was too much for my body to handle. The stress of losing him…" A nice buzz had started taking over and she rested her forehead against the cool glass.

Now that one really did get Joe right in the feels. He had three children with his wife and he couldn't imagine the pain that Tressa was feeling. Joe couldn't imagine his wife, Galina, suffering a miscarriage. To not only lose her husband, but then the last piece of him she had left, and she hadn't even known she was pregnant…he couldn't wrap his head around just how much sorrow one woman could be given.

No wonder she had sealed herself off from them.

"Pizza is here." Jon's cool, calm voice interrupted the heavy silence, having answered the soft knock at the door, while she stared out the window and the other two simply stared at her.

Why was Jon being cold towards her?

Colby didn't understand it because he thought Jon would be right by her side, holding her, comforting her, which is what the woman needed right now. "Come here, Tres."

He'd never experienced fatherhood, but he could only imagine the amount of pain she felt losing not only Joseph, but their unborn child they had tried so long and hard for. His heart ached for her as she buried her face in his t-shirt-covered chest, tears soaking right through it. Colby took the bottle of Vodka from her and lifted her in his arms with ease, carrying her over to sit on the sofa with her sideways on his lap. Screw the pizza, nobody was hungry at the moment as Colby began crooning in her ear, rocking her slowly back and forth, stroking her hair to try soothing her tormented soul the best he could.

All Tressa could do was sob her heart out all over again, though Colby's comfort made her calm down, surprisingly enough, to the point where she just lightly hiccoughed. Jon wasn't being cold, but he also knew how this night ended, and hearing it all over again, along with that pain that was still so raw in her…keeping himself cool and collected was the only way he was doing it. He leaned against the wall, watching Colby coddling her, and ignored the look Joe was giving him.

Joe got it. Jon knew all this, this was what he had been hiding and why he had been spending so much time with Tressa since his return. He also knew Jon had been carrying a torch for the diminutive beauty and, if Jon actually did care about her in the way Joe assumed he did, hearing this and watching her living with the pain wasn't easy. Jon never had dealt with his emotions in a healthy manner.

"Bro, she's out cold."

Colby really needed a beer and looked down at Tressa, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. He nodded when Joe instructed him to lay her in bed, where she would be more comfortable. With ease, since the woman weighed lighter than a damn feather, Colby moved to the bed to lay her down on it, covering her up. She didn't move, her chest rising and falling evenly and her face was streaked with tears. He walked back over to sit down, grabbed a slice of pizza, even though he wasn't hungry, and cracked open his beer.

"Is that all she wanted to tell us?"

"Guess we'll have to wait for another night to find out."

Joe saw Jon's eyes were fixated on Tressa and he could only hope the man gave her the time she needed to grieve and move on from her husband. It would happen, but it would also take time. He chomped on his own piece of pizza and leaned his head back, knowing tomorrow would be extremely hectic with Summerslam weekend.

It was officially upon them.

See, the way Jon was viewing this was giving her time meant giving her space and that was bad. Grieving the way she was wasn't doing her body any favors and eventually, the drinking game would catch up with her. Or her body would just say 'fuck it' and go into recovery mode. Being with her so much was distracting her, she was starting to smile. It was a process, and he pinched his nose, dropped down onto the floor with his drink, and leaned back against the wall. There would be good days and bad days.

"Bro." Joe had set a slice of pizza on his knee and Jon shrugged, taking a bite, ignoring Joe's speculating looks.

Being with Jon did make her happy. It was one of the reasons she was trying to keep him at arm's length because Tressa wasn't ready to feel happiness again. Then again, maybe she was. She still wore her wedding ring, unable to take it off unless she showered, but she also didn't feel guilty or remorseful for sleeping in the same bed as Jon or what they did at his house in Vegas. When her eyes opened the following morning sometime, it took a moment for Tressa to realize she wasn't alone in bed.

Her vision cleared and there he was, lying beside her with his hand resting on her side. Tressa reached up to caress the side of his bearded face with the back of her hand, scooting closer to him, and felt his arm curl around her to press her against him. It felt good to wake up with Jon in bed instead of alone, though she knew the majority of today would be spent by herself. Jon had a slew of media to do to promote Summerslam and then they also had a house show that night. Going against what she'd said in the car the previous night, Tressa couldn't hold herself back and softly brushed her lips against his.

Jon was up, both actually awake and of course morning wood, that she wasn't making go away at all. His blue, hazy eyes focused on her face and he gently nudged her away. He saw the flash of puzzlement, may be hurt, in her eyes and held a finger up to his lips. Smirking, he pushed the comforter down off of them and crawled to the end of the bed. When she joined him, she was greeted by the sight of Colby sprawled out on the floor with a sheet over his still-dressed butt. Joe was against a wall, using Jon's bag as a pillow. The three of them had stayed up, eating and drinking, very quietly talking.

The guys had a million questions and Jon had not been able to answer them all.

He supposed it was only natural since they consider Tressa to be like a sister to them.