The Secret Story!
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AN: Bereft of ideas, Cimar asked me to do a oneshot with 'Nick and Judy as secret agents for some organisation or something'.
… Fun fact, one of my fav childhood programs was about two secret agents for some organisation.
Double fun fact. That show was ludicrous in all the right ways.
Here's an example episode for those who don't want to go blind. Or those who did go in blind and now want context for what the heck they just read.
(h-double-t-ps) : www . dailymotion (dotcom) / video / x6c8yt3
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I think you can guess where this is going…
HehehehehahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
Thank you very much for this open ended prompt Cimar. Thank you very much indeed.
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The Secret Story!
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A new day was breaking over Bunnyburrow, Bonnie Hopps taking the time to sit back in her garden chair. All around her were a gaggle of little bunnies, her grandkits and even some great grandkits. "Ah," she cooed. "A lovely new day in the Burrows, and a great new day for some stories for some fluffy little bunnies."
Their eyes all widened and they cheered.
"We've got lots to cover. Lots of little adventures to have, stories to tell, and…"
"ICECREAM!" they yelled.
Bonnie chuckled. "And maybe even some ice cream if you're good."
"ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!"
"Wow, you really want ice cream little bun buns. But that's for later, now…"
"ICE CREAM!"
Bonnie pulled herself back, only to then spot her bunnies stand up and run away towards a bell chiming van parking up nearby. On its top stood a rotating ice cream cone filled with orange ice cream, a carrot sticking out the top. Ding-ding-ding-Ding!
"Kits!" Bonnie said, paws against her hips. "You know that when it's chiming it's out of ice cream. How many times have I told you that?"
The bonnet of the van lifted, a speaker coming out. "YO KITS! The chime means we've got a full stock to sell! Your parents are liars."
"YAAAY!" the kits cheered, crowding around the van. Bonnie approached up and watched as the window pulled open, a fennec fox in a suit and black shades looking out.
"Who wants ice cream right now!"
"WE DO! WE DO!"
Bonnie put her paws on her hips. "Who's gonna pay for it?"
The bunnies went silent, until the fox spoke up. "I AM! I AM!"
"YAAAAAYYY!" They cheered, as the fox looked inside.
"Let me just turn the super-cooler on. You'll all be cool in a sec."
"WE WANT ICE CREAM WE WANT ICE CREAM!" they all yelled, as Bonnie came up to the front. Knocking on the little window, her nose was twitching.
"I don't mean to be rude, but doesn't you paying for it make no sense whatsoever?"
She was broken off as a slight hissing came from the van, and looking down she saw a faint trail of white mist emerging. "Huh?" She mused, scratching under her chin.
FWWWIIIISSSSHHHHHHH
A thick white cloud blew out, covering the entire area in a freezing fog. And then, it was gone, leaving an entire frozen fluffle of bunnies standing still. Opening the door, the fennec fox jumped out and rapped one with his knuckles.
Chink-chink.
And then he pulled up his communicator. "Yo, this is Finnick! We are go! We are go!"
A horde of black suited mammals raced in, picking up the frozen bunnies and racing away with them.
"Should we put them somewhere warm to defrost faster Agent Finnick?" one of them asked.
"Nah, a normal room will be fine. They'll be defrosted and back to jumping around crazy like by the end of the day," he waved off, moving up to Bonnie. He rapped her a few times. Chink-Chink. A frosty eyebrow rose slightly and her eyes turned to glare at him. "Hey," he said, picking her up and carrying her off. "Don't give me that look. I'm sorry Bonnie, but we need this fic chapter for our own story! Write out, 'The Secret Story!'"
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DUH-DU-DUH DU-DU-DU-DUH-DUH DUH-DU-DUH DU-DU-DU-DUH-DUH!
THE SECRET STORY!
NYAH-NYAH-NYAAAHHH-NYAAAAHHHH! NYAH-NYAAAAHHHH-NYAH!
STARRING AGENT SLICK WILDE!
DO-DOOO-DOOO-DOO-DOO-DOOOO-DO-DO-DO-DAHHH
AND AGENT JUDY JUMP!
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"AHHHHHH!"
"RUN AWAY!"
"IT'S GOING TO EAT US!"
Flying through the sky on their hover bikes, top GUD agents Slick Wilde and Judy Jumps watched down below as panic stricken citizens ran for cover. Fleeing, running, panicking, hands waving in the air.
"It's like they're the reverse of moths to a flame," Slick Wilde said, banking around and going down. With a blast of air from his jet boosters, he held up an elephant, stopping his panicky stampede right before it crushed a tripped up zebra family. The equids got back on their feet and resumed their running in terror, the elephant stepping around and doing the same.
"Something's really got them spooked," Judy Jumps said, looking at where they were going. Her eyes suddenly widened and she braced herself, as a flock of bats raced in the opposite direction. "Ah! Hey! Mind the wings! Mind the wings!"
"Bats being the fearless ones?" Slick asked, speeding around and towing his agent out of the stream. They set on by its side, racing along in their hoverbikes. "Now this anti moth to a flame is a moth to a flame for them! What even is it?"
Judy looked on confused, then faced forward, her eyes widened. "Slick? What's a bats favourite food?"
"Uh, blood?"
"For all the other bats."
"Oh. Fruit!"
"I mean the other, other bats."
"Hmmmm… OOOH! Moths! Funny how that keeps on coming up."
"Yes," Judy said gravely, pulling her hoverbike to a stop. Slick did too, following her gaze, his jaw hanging open. "Funny…"
Their eyes rose and there, hovering up over the moon, flapped a giant space moth.
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GLOBAL UNITED DEFENSE HQ
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Standing tall and proud, GUD HQ was like a thistle, a huge trunk with various landing pads for hoverbikes branching out like leaves. At the top, was the round, squat, ZPD Precinct one (very much) like main pod, its various architectural features branching out like a crown.
And inside there, at its heart, was a highly secure but quite nice drawing room. Complete with its own burning fireplace and mantle and three cosy arm chairs. In two of them sat top GUD agents Slick Wilde and Judy Jumps. In the third, sat Professor Honey Badger, the lab cloaked mustelid adjusting her glasses with her pointy stick. They all looked towards their leader, a massive Cape Buffalo resting against the fireplace mantle, the screen above it showing the giant space moth in real time. "This is not good," he said in his gruff serious voice. "A giant space moth is causing panic, chaos, anarchy, setting the population into a frenzy, and it hasn't even done anything yet. The fact that it could do something is a very serious matter."
"Oooh, yes!" Professor Honey Badger said. "I mean, what if it decides to lay its eggs on earth. We'll soon have cosmic space caterpillars wrapping our entire planet in silk!"
"Exactly," the Cape Buffalo said. "Suffice to say it's a terrible security risk, and we must never take security lightly! Indeed, it is for reasons of security that my name is changed daily. Today, my name is…" He pulled out a special communicator and clicked it, groaning at what he read. "Urgghhh… Big Blowy Buffalo Butt."
There was a fit of laughter from the small crowd, especially from Agent Slick Wilde. Finally though, they regained their composure. "So," Judy Jumps said. "What are we going to do about it Big Blowy Buffalo Butt?"
"I don't know. Ask Professor Honey Badger."
"What?" she asked, adjusting her glasses. "I don't know. Why do you always ask me? It's always me who has to come up with these things. Why don't you ever give it a go huh, it's very hard."
There was a pause, Big Blowy Buffalo Butt's eyes narrowing. "It's your job Professor Honey Badger, I pay you to do it."
…
"Well, that is true. But is also true that the benefits are lousy."
"Not the time."
"I mean, given my status is a company car too much to ask?"
"Not the time. We'll discuss your company car after we solve the problem of the giant space moth. Any ideas."
"No, I just know it's a potentially very bad thing."
And with that, the small clock on the mantle turned purple, a maniacal cackle ringing out. "AH!" Professor Honey Badger said. "It's the BAD phone."
"Could BAD be behind the space moth?" Slick Wilde asked.
"Well after the Zombie thing I'll put nothing past that sheep," Judy muttered.
Big Blowy Buffalo Butt pressed the button on top, and the screen changed to show BAD leader Doctor Bell Wether standing there, looking frantic. "Okay," Big Blowy Buffalo Butt said. "What's with the giant space moth?"
"What's with it?" she shrieked. "Why would you think I'd be behind that. Can't you see my wool?" She held it out. "One look from that thing and I think I'll be nibbled clean! Listen, I know I'm BAD and you're GUD, but right now I just want the same thing as you do. I want that moth gone!"
The four members of GUD looked at each other, shocked. "Woah, woah, wait," Slick Wilde said. "You want to work with us!"
She nodded her head.
"Seriously?"
She nodded further.
"To get rid of the space moth."
"Yes, that is what I said. Me working with GUD. Though you might want your hearing checked, as it seems to be not GUD right now."
Big Blowy Buffalo Butt pressed a button on the clock and turned to his group. "I've muted her. What do you think?"
"What? Work with her?" Professor Honey Badger shrieked. "This'll be like the evil toothbrush all over. Nuh-uh, even if she isn't behind it she'll have something sneaky planned."
"I don't like it too," Judy Jumps said, arms crossed and nose a twitching. "But right now, do we have a better plan?"
"Huh? Does she have a better plan?" Slick Wilde asked. "Or, tell me if this sounds familiar, evil bad dooer finds herself in big doo doo and suddenly expects the good doers to solve all her problems as they're good. Now unless Smellwether has something good to bring to the table, there's no point in this."
"I do, actually…"
All eyes turned to the screen.
"And I don't like being called Smellwether."
Slick scratched his head. "I thought you muted it."
"So did I…" Big Blowy Buffalo Butt said, looking closer. "Oh, that's the turn off camera feed video. I blinded her instead."
"Indeed you did, black screen of grumbling," Doctor Bell Wether said. "But I do have a rough theory. That moth is simply doing what all moths do."
Back in the GUD HQ, the mammals turned to each other. "LIKE A MOTH TO A CANDLE."
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A few hours later, and everything was buzzing around. Agents with sky bikes were docking up, masses of black paint were being off loaded, alarms were sounding. In the main briefing room, Professor Honey Badger, busy after labelling a bunch of boxes, was addressing the crowd. "Okay, okay, here's the situation."
She turned to reveal a massive diagram of the moth. "This moth here wants to go to the brightest thing it can see. Currently, that is the moon." There was a murmur of agreement. To the side, agent Finnick put his paw up.
"Yo, then what's the problem? It's gonna stay on the moon, right?"
"Yes… Until it's a new moon and the moon is all dark! Then, it will fly to the next largest bright thing." She flicked to a new screen, showing the city from space at night, lights aglowing. "And that will mean giant wings flip flapping over and giant winds and chaos and destruction and all our clothes getting eaten!"
There was a gasp of shock, some mammals even beginning to panic. "No! Not my cravat collection. NOT MY CRAVAT COLLECTION!"
"Fortunately," Professor Honey Badger said, "for tonight at least we have a temporary solution, even if it has major…"
Fwooomppp… The whole room went dark as the power was cut.
"-Drawbacks," she said, grumbling as she couldn't see her board. "Just imagine what was there before is still there."
"But what if I can't."
"Well then, you're on your own."
"NOOOOO!"
"Anyways, BAD have proposed an alliance. I don't like this as much as you do, but together we'll aim to remove the light source and drive the moth away."
"Is this why we've been going around and collecting all the black paint and moth balls we can find?"
"Yes, that is true," she said.
"I mean," came the voice of Slick Wilde, carrying something heavy. "Why else would we have all this…" Crack. "Woah, ah, AHHHH!" The sound of something falling over, cracking, smashing, and then hundreds of small ball shaped objects bouncing around and rolling off everywhere rang out through the blackness.
…
Professor Honey Badger cleared her throat. "Slick? Are you still alive?"
"Yes," he groaned. "I am still alive."
"Anyway," she carried on. "We will paint the moon black with bad paint that will in time break apart from the cosmic rays, but will work for easily long enough to do this job for us. We'll also lace it with moth balls. Meanwhile, Doctor Bell Wether will use lights on her flying spider BAD base to lure the moth away. Either to the sun or the shiniest moon of Uranus, I am happy with both. But, it is worth noting that this is still BAD we're talking about. Expect betrayal at every point. Understood!"
"YES!" came the chorus of agents.
"Very well," Professor Honey Badger said. "Prepare GUD base for launch."
Outside, the massive tower began to rumble and smoke, before a blast from its base sent it roaring skyward. Picking up speed, it cut through the atmosphere, raced out into space, and slowly began moving up to the shiny moon.
Inside, the lights back on, the various agents got into position. Slick Wilde and Judy Jump were there in the pilot's quarters with Professor Honey Badger, watching as Big Blowy Buffalo Butt guided them into position.
"Look," Judy said, pointing to one of the side windows. "There's Doctor Bell Wether's base."
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Flying alongside them, Doctor Bell Wether guided the giant flying spider HQ for Doctor Bell Wether's Army of Doom into position. "Expendables," she said, raising the attention of all her round helmeted minions. "Turn on all the Christmas lights we requisitioned."
Millions of lights strung around the outside of the base… Didn't turn on.
"Huh…"
The screen fizzled to show an irritated looking group of GUD leaders.
"Hey, there's one stupid bulb causing a problem. Give me time to fix it." She pressed a button. "Expendables! Go outside and fix it!" She watched as her minions went into the airlock and suited up. Soon, they were outside, peering at the bulbs, trying to swap them and see if it changed anything, working their way through.
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Two hours later.
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The screen fizzed to life again, showing a bunch of very irritated GUD leaders.
"BUGGING ME ISN'T GOING TO SPEED IT UP!" Doctor Bell Wether yelled, sitting back in her chain and grumbling. Outside, a bunch of expendables were still busy trying each bulb one at a time as their intercoms came to life.
"HURRY UP DAMMIT!" Bell Wether yelled. "ARE YOU BEING SLOW ON PURPOSE OR WHAT!?"
There was a collective groan as they tried to pick up the pace. One green suited ram expendable pulled a light out, put in a new one and… FWOOOSH!
The entire BAD base lit up, blinding them in light.
Inside Doctor Bell Wether smiled, phoning up GUD again. "See. Patience."
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With that, GUD got to work. "Remember," Professor Honey Badger said, as they flew in low. "Only use the best stuff possible for this very specific job."
There was a bunch of jostling as agents got the stuff they needed and, flying their base over the moon, they poured out black paint, covering the surface. On top of that they let the world's supply of moth balls tumble into the craters. Their fumes releasing, the entirely now black moon became covered with a potent miasma.
One that pushed the giant moth away, and then set it flying after the BAD base. Doctor Bell Wether turned and flew off, the moth flying after it out into the black void.
Inside, agents Slick Wilde and Judy Jump looked at each other. "I don't believe it," he said.
"It worked."
"Doctor Bell Wether," Professor Honey Badger began. "Didn't betray us…? No, there HAS to be something up."
"Doesn't seem to be," Big Blowy Buffalo Butt said. "I think we've solved this, together! Take us home."
"You're the pilot."
"Oh, right."
…
"Take us home."
"I'm on it."
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GUD BASE. Back on Earth. (Later)
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Soon after, inside the half hidden by white fluttering GUD base, Big Blowy Buffalo Butt was giving a new meeting. Leaning against his mantlepiece, pausing as he examined one of the many holes in his suit, he turned forward. "Well, seems like this giant moth problem was solved."
"Yeah," Judy Jumps said, grumbling as she examined the new holes in her combat uniform. "No giant moth problem."
"All sorted," Slick intoned, watching a bunch of white moths fly overhead.
"Indeed!" Big Blowy Buffalo Butt said, turning on his screen and showing a far off picture. "The moth is currently very happily sitting by the brightest moon of Uranus, and won't both us any longer. Turns out moths aren't the problem after all!"
He folded his arms in front of him, pausing as half of one sleeve disintegrated and slipped off.
"Well, what about these moths?" Slick groaned, pointing down at his trouser legs, currently covered in a layer of moths. "They're not even being subtle anymore."
"Well," Professor Honey Badger said. "We used all of the world's moth balls to get rid of the super giant big moth. What did you expect?"
"What are we going to do about them?"
"Try brushing them off?"
"Ha-ha," he said, trying to shoo them away. They lifted off, only to settle on Judy.
"Hey!"
She shooed them off her, and watched them settle on Honey Badger. "I'm seeing an ingenious solution you're not." She then leant forward and chomped at them, grabbing a few in her mouth and swallowing. "Mmmmm. Fresh!"
Judy looked on unconvinced as their smartest mammal began racing around and jumping, trying to chomp on as many moths as possible.
"Tch, you're always looking at the negatives," Big Blowy Buffalo Butt said. "The fact is, we did save the world from a giant space moth that could have wrapped the entire world in silk and killed us all. A few nibbled clothes is a perfectly worthy sacrifice."
He smiled, only for that smile to fade as Agent Finnick ran in a bunch of black rags and his underpants. "Yo, we got a problem!"
Big Blowy Buffalo Butt groaned. "What now."
"Some angry ZASA guys want a word."
Big Blowy Buffalo Butt pressed the button, and the screen showed some angry ZASA guys. "Hey, you!" one of them said. "Who do you think you are?"
Big Blowy Buffalo Butt stared them down. "The Director of GUD. Big Blowy Buffalo Butt."
He groaned as they broke off into laughter, and groaned some more as they got angry again. "Well Big Blowy Buffalo Butt. Do you know how long we planned our space probe to Uranus' brightest moon? Do you know how expensive it was? Do you know how long we waited for it to get there?"
"Do you know how much I care."
"All that waiting, and now all our monitors and detectors are feeding back is cotton sheets and balsa wood! Thanks a bunch."
And with that he signed off. "Some people just can't be grateful," he huffed, shaking his head.
The others nodded in agreement, only for Judy Jumps ears to jump up. "Hang on. Didn't he say 'cotton sheets and balsa wood?'"
"Yeah," Slick Wilde said, his head tilting. "Wouldn't it be bug guts or something?"
Professor Honey Badgers eyes widened. "The giant space moth was a fake!" She leapt up, bits of her lab coat falling off as she went. "But why. Why?"
Slick's mouth hit the floor. "The lights! Doctor Bell Wether used up all the worlds Christmas lights. It was all a plot to destroy them and thus RUIN CHRISTMAS FOREVER!" He stood up proud, paw up as the rest of his clothes disintegrated around him. "We must combat this evil right here right now!"
The others stared at him, and then pulled up their paws to cover their eyes. "Slick," Judy began. "Wouldn't it make more sense if the plan was to get rid of the world's moth balls and blacken the moon and all lights, so all the moths would fly inside and eat the worlds clothes."
Slick looked down, suddenly covering up the area between his legs with his tail. "That might make more sense."
"Well, in that case," Buffalo Butt said, as his entire attire also fell apart around him. "Go and find out who, why, and stop it."
"I won't let you down Chief," Judy said, getting up and leaving a shower of cloth behind. After blushing and covering herself, they did just that.
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"Oh sweet cheese, oh sweet cheese, I'm hoverbiking naked."
"You know I think I might prefer it this way," Slick said, zooming past her in her birthday suit, a big grin on his face.
"Why aren't you finding it embarrassing!?"
"Because it seems that everyone is in the same boat as us." Looking down, they saw anarchy in the streets as clotheless mammals ran about, followed by flocks of moths.
"MY CRAVAT COLLECTION!" One yelled.
"I can't wear nothing! This month blue is in. WHERE'S THE BLUE ON ME?"
"I THOUGHT RUBBER CLOTHES WOULD BE SAFE! I WAS WRONG!"
"Woah," Slick said, "things are getting pretty scary down there."
"Yeah," Judy agreed, as her communicator chimed.
"I've done some research on the moths," Professor Honey Badger said. "And they're actually a kind of super moth! Super appetites, super breeding ability, and even an improved if not perfect resistance to moth balls. This stinks of genetic engineering."
Slick Wilde's ears lowered. "You've been eating genetically engineered moths!"
"Oh GM food is harmless. What's the worst that could… -HIC! … Still totally worth it."
They tuned her out as they turned the corner. "Look, the medieval museum!" Judy said. They flew towards the castle, surrounded by hordes of mammals. "Looks like someone's popular."
"Yeah," Slick said, "Let's see what that's…"
BOOM!
His eyes widened, and he dove his hover bike hard down to avoid a cannon ball flying past. It didn't boom, but he did as he hit the ground with a thud.
The ringing of a communicator chirped out, followed by the voice of Professor Honey Badger. "Slick. Are you still alive?"
"Yes," he groaned, "I'm still alive… After the medieval museum SHOT A CANNON AT ME!"
Judy grumble at that, only for a call to ring out. "Stay back, or we shoot again!"
She turned to see the mammals of the medieval museum, dressed in knights armour and chain mail, loading up another cannon. "We have the world's only clothes left! And we're not giving them away, they're ours not yours."
"But I have a job interview tomorrow," someone in the crowd outside the castle yelled. "I need a new suit."
"I was naked for three days. I can't wear the same outfit four days in a row! THAT'S TORTURE!"
"I'll pay you a thousand bucks."
"Ten thousand!"
"A hundred thousand!"
"A million."
Pulling Slick back onto her bike, Judy looked down. "They'll pay anything for any clothes."
"Yeah," Slick said, "must be great to be a clothes maker. You could charge anything."
"Yeah," Judy agreed, her eyes suddenly shooting up. "Hang on, find a tv!"
"Huh?"
"Find a TV and tune it to the fashion channel!"
"But why?"
"Just do it."
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The fashion fashion show, with Stacy Serval.
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"THERE ARE CLOTHES LEFT!" the news reporter cheered. "Tomorrow, the auction for the only remaining clothes in the world is being held, with new fashion superstar Doctor Bell Wether selling off her exclusive moth-repelling knit-wear collection!"
"Yup," the Ewe said from a live screen TV. Soon, images of her parading in badly knitted woollen wear were being flashed around. "The best clothing left on the planet! And completely moth resistant. Bidding starts at ten billion for an underwear timeshare of three days a week. There's already talk of a bidding war between Jeff Beavos and Elon Muskox. Things are going to get hot!"
The screen closed down, the four naked GUD members looking at each other. "OOOH I knew it!" Professor Honey Badger said, holding up a jar containing a bunch of moths. "I knew she was up to something! She created the fake moth to make us dump all the moth balls on the moon, so her new breed of hyper moths could munch all the clothes of earth. Now, she's going to be the richest mammal ever as everyone pays anything for her clothes!"
"Uh, mammals," Slick said. "I'm actually getting used to this Birthday suit thing."
"I'm not," the naked Judy muttered.
"Well, despite not liking not being in a suit, I can endure," the naked Big Blowy Buffalo Butt said. There was a pause as the naked agent Finnick walked in.
"You, had a report that the GUD base and all our stocks have been nominated for use as a bid in this auction, that's a mistake right…"
"Yes, yes, big mistake, no idea how that happened!" Big Blowy Buffalo Butt waved off.
Finnick raised his glasses, then lowered them. "Sure…"
"But we can't let Bell Wether get away with this," Professor Honey Badger said. "She'll be the richest mammal ever!"
"Well as long as mammals don't have any clothes, she will," Judy muttered, only for her ears to go up. "Hang on! What if we make everyone clothes! Or just give them the fabric to make their own."
"And you don't think the moths haven't eaten up all the clothing fabric?" Professor Honey Badger snorted. "Face it, there's no fabric left on this planet."
Nick blinked. "Hang on, on this planet?"
"Yes, as all the moths ate it all…"
"But what about not on this planet," he said, jumping up. "What about…"
"THE BRIGHTEST MOON OF URANUS!" they said together.
"Of course," Judy said. "Big fake space moth saves the day."
"Well it does, for a bit," Professor Honey Badger said, before sighing. "Even if we recover all the moth balls from the moon, the chances are the super moths will still eat most of the fabric anyway. Unless…" She paused as she saw one flying by, leaping up to CHOMP it.
She missed, slamming down on the floor.
"Urgh," Big Blowy Buffalo Butt groaned. "Scratch that idea for good."
Slick clicked his fingers. "Hang on, there might be something in it after all."
"YES!" Professor Honey Badger said.
"Just not with you."
"Ohhhh…"
The gang was soon racing out to do what had to be done. Slick shot out on his hoverbike, letting the rest of the GUD base launch off once more. Releasing 'the main pod' by the moon, they hovered over it and began recovering all the moth balls. Meanwhile, the tower part of the base, steered from the cramped and crowded 'secondary control room' flew to the brightest moon of Uranus. They skewered the giant balsa wood and fabric space moth, currently lying on its surface, and straining the engines flew back.
Around the moon, they reunited with the main pod and settled back on earth. A pile of moth balls around them to keep the moths at bay, Slick returned with his mother, dropping her off before flying away again.
Together with all the GUD agents, they began working on making a whole new range of clothing.
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The only fashion show left in the world.
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"A billion!"
"A trillion!"
"My first born son!"
All yells were called out as Doctor Bell Wether strutted her bad knitwear for all to see. The clamour only rose higher as a moth flew closer… only to be scared away.
"Official bids about to start," the announcer called, Bell Wether rubbing her paws eagerly.
"So are the ones at our sale!"
There was a gasp, as all eyes turned to see Judy Jump standing there, showing off a pretty white dress, only a few little corners badly crimped or fraying.
The sheep shook her head. "What… I… The giant space moth!"
"You should have flown it into the sun," the bunny jeered.
"Ah! But that would have meant a plot hole as to why it didn't fly to the sun in the first place instead of the moon!"
The bunny blinked. "Hang on, how's that not a plot hole anyway?"
"The moth doesn't like sunlight or something, they're moths! Well, it wasn't, but the point still stands. Unlike your clothes!" She cackled, looking up as a flock of super moths flew over. "Even rubbing moth balls against them can't keep them away for others. The moths are going to find and eat all your new clothes like… Ha, moths to the flame!"
Judy smirked. "Well, good thing we found something that goes to moths like moths to the flame!" She held up her communicator. "Slick, now!"
"Charge!" the fox yelled, zooming overhead in his hover bike, followed by a swarm of bats. The moths saw them, began flying back, but were soon swamped, getting eaten up.
Similar to Judy, the bunny desperately trying to hand out all the copies of the new GUD fashion catalogue to the growing hordes around her.
Doctor Bell Wether saw it all and stomped her foot. "No, you can't get away with this! You can't. I'll just release more moths, I'll, I'll…"
A finger tapped her shoulder and she turned over. "You'll pay for my cravat collection!"
"Oh," she said, before getting punched in the face. Almost knocked out, she stumbled into the naked chest of some mammals.
"If we had clothes on they'd be ZASA clothes. We're nerdy mammals from ZASA."
"Oh, right… And?"
"Do you know how much time and effort we put in to our space probe to the brightest moon of Uranus?"
"No, I…" She was punched back.
"FOR MY CRAVATS!" PUNCH.
"FOR OUR SPACE PROBLE!" PUNCH.
"FOR CHRISTMAS!" KICK.
Breaking from the bat cloud, Slick looked down. "You know, I should really help her."
He paused, then flew off again.
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Later, at GUD base.
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"Well," Big Blowy Buffalo Butt said, brushing down his new black suit. "It seems the fabric factories are back in production. And, with the moth situation sorted and Doctor Bell Wether behind bars, we can put this situation behind us."
"Yes," the group cheered.
Judy smiled. "I think the best thing is that Doctor Bell Wether is going to be naked longer than any of us. Her prison suit is at the bottom of the list."
"Uh-hu," Professor Honey Badger said, styling off her own 'Bell Wether' set. "And I get to wear all her stuff and rub it in her face. Yes!"
"So, all sorted out nicely," Big Buffalo Butt said. "I…"
He paused as the screen fizzed to life again, the angry ZASA mammals looking back.
"Oh what is it. We removed the giant fake space moth, didn't we?"
"Yes, but the moon is still painted black!"
"We chose paint that degrades over time," he huffed, "didn't we Professor Honey Badger."
"Duh," she said, holding up a can. "Here is the bad paint that will degrade from the cosmic rays and won't stay there forever." She fished around for a can. "And here is the stuff we told mammals not to use, good stuff that will last forever unless scrubbed off! I labelled them bad and good respectively, so mammals would know when we went to the moon, and I told them to use the best stuff possible for the very specific job, which one to use! The stuff labelled bad! See, there's no chance for confusion or stupidity or something and…" She paused, looking around. "Why is everyone looking at me like I did something stupid or confusing or something?"
Big Blowy Buffalo Butt could only groan.