Chapter 14:
Splinter Packed! Hole Riddled! Not Filled! Damage Property at Your Local Neighborhood!

Craig's plan hasn't worked like he had anticipated.

He lifts an arm to the side to stop Tweek from coming down the stairs. From the top of it, both boys look down in mild quiet panic at Craig's dad frowning at something they cannot see from where they are standing. It's roughly ten minutes after six in the morning, and Thomas is supposed to be on his walk by now, and it seems that he was just about to leave by the looks of it. He's even wearing that light gray sweatshirt he always wears when he goes on his stupid walks, but he isn't moving, instead stuck in place glaring at something.

Craig turns to a very tired Tweek and whispers. "Go back to my room. I'll figure out what's going on."

Tweek nods and turns to leave. Craig sighs as he watches the door of his bedroom close softly. Why can't anything go his way? Not that he's unhappy he'll have a little more time with the other before he leaves, but he would rather get rid of him than the chance of his parents finding out he's been keeping a boy in his bedroom.

He walks down the steps quietly and shudders when a gust of cold air hits his legs, only then does his father notice him.

"Craig? Why aren't you in bed?"

"Uhm," Craig bites his lip, ignoring the valid question, "What's going on, dad?"

Thomas looks at him, the only emotion Craig can decipher on his face being slight confusion— much like how the boy is feeling currently. Then he steps back, revealing a large rough hole in the door that looks carved out unprofessionally, the floor in front of it covered in the wooden flakes that once were used to be their front door.

Craig feels his heart drop.

So that's how Tweek got in.

"Do you know what this is?" Thomas suddenly asks, face now red from anger— probably that someone fucking carved a giant ass hole in his door.

"No," he lies through his teeth.

Thomas narrows his eyes suspiciously. "Craig…" he repeats, "Why aren't you in bed?"

He blinks. "Stripe went missing."

His father's gaze pierces him.

"But I found her a few minutes ago," Craig croaks, "M-Maybe she made that?" He lazily points at the hole.

Thomas turns to look at it with genuine concern. "You… You think Stripe made that?"

In his heart, Craig apologizes to Stripe for throwing her under the bus. "Yes. She was cold when I found her." he adds, as an afterthought.

Thomas looks at the damage for a few suffocating minutes before sighing— Craig doing the same, but from relief rather than weariness. "Craig. I swear to god, next time you lose your guinea pig or it damages property, you're paying for it." He looks sternly at his son, "I don't care if it makes a building collapse, you need to take responsibility for your pets. I'm only giving you a pass on this because I know you haven't been feeling well yesterday. Understood?"

Craig nods his head so much he's a little afraid it might fling right off. Then he realizes that that's too much of a guilty reaction to not seem suspicions so he stops and brings a finger up to flip his father off. Thomas returns the gesture lazily. "Now clean this mess."

"Can I do it later?"

Thomas responds with a resounding "No."

Craig shudders before rushing to the kitchen to retrieve their small cleaning dust brush and tray from under their sink and goes back to clean the wooden chips, coughing lightly at whatever dust is still there. By the time he finishes and dumps all the rubble from inside and outside the house to the garbage can, Thomas has already left— probably to get a door as soon as possible.

Seeing this as their chance, Craig rushes up the stairs and into his bedroom where Tweek is now fast asleep on the bed.

Craig pauses before he can make too much noise to wake the creature up. He walks up slowly to his sheets and peers at the sleeping beauty. Unlike the sour face he was making the first time Craig had seen him nap, this time Tweek looks impossibly relaxed. His eyelashes are pretty short, he noticed, probably since his body knows that it doesn't need to keep water out of his eyes— that, and with the added fact that he's very much blond makes it so his eyelashes and eyebrows are practically invisible from far away, but from here they're clearer to the eye, and… nice. Craig is no poet. All he can really think about to describe Tweek is 'nice', and 'good'. Cute, and pretty and cool.

Not just his lashes, the rest of his face too. From this close Craig can see faint lines and scratches over his temples and cheeks— small scars he had gotten from who knows where. Tweek is so naturally pale that they are only visible from this close, in the right lighting.

Craig has his gaze stuck on him, roaming his face up and down, his own lips parting unknowingly until his eyes finally land on soft blond hair. He just wants to… touch.

The moment his hand lands on those golden locks, Tweek's vibrant green eyes open wide in alarm— causing Craig to yelp and stagger backwards until he nearly falls on his ass.

"Agh, Craig! Jesus Christ!" Tweek hisses as his sits up, hand carding through his messy hair. "I told you not to sneak up on me like that, man!"

Craig just flips him off; ignoring that his face feels like it's getting the same treatment as a day without sunscreen at the beach. "We need to leave,"

Tweek furrows his brows before standing up with a yawn. Suddenly he swirls towards the direction of Craig's desk, and very much not the door. "Tweek—"

"Shh, shh, Craig." Tweek sasses before picking up the bundle of blue fabric thrown onto his chair. Craig groans. "You promised, remember?" he says before tossing the hat towards Craig, who doesn't even try to catch it, and it lands a meter from him because apparently Tweek's aim is shit.

"Whatever," He rolls his eyes. "I'm not even going to school yet."

"Then bring it when you do go, okay?"

"Fine."

Tweek beams.

"Can we leave now?"

"Yes, yes you big baby!"

Craig scoffs. He's not a big baby.

They tip toe down the hallway and stairs, surprisingly escaping the house without much trouble whatsoever. Craig grits his teeth at the way his socks are becoming damp from standing outside with no shoes, but he's planning on sleeping the extra whatever minutes he has left until he usually wakes up, so he's not putting them on. Anyways, they need to hurry up.

"Welp, bye Craig!"

"Bye, Tweek. Please don't make holes in my property next time."

"Uagh— Sorry!" He flushes, "I wasn't thinking straight!" Craig nods absentmindedly. He hasn't been thinking straight either.

"It's okay. I'll see you later…?" he asks in a hopeful tone. As much as a Craig Tucker can sound hopeful at the very least.

"No." Tweek promptly responds heavily.

They both stare at each other for a couple seconds before they lose the ability to keep a straight face and burst out laughing. "Okay okay, bye, Pond Boy."

"Later, Human Mortal."

Tweek goes to turn around before it seems he thinks better and whips around to give Craig a large bear hug that crushes him in an admittedly comfortable way. Just at the moment the taller wraps his arms around the other, a familiar car enters their driveway. Craig and Tweek both dislodge from one another and hop a meter away each, yelping. They were so close— to returning to Craig's normal routine! No car is supposed to arrive here yet!

Out comes Craig's mom. He cannot even fathom the concept of thinking clearly at this point.

Seeing her son's confused face, Laura kicks the driver's side door shut and wipes her palms on her large green buttoned coat. Tweek seems interested. "You're father called and told me there is a hole in the door…? I'm here to 'guard the house' until we can replace it, I suppose." She explains, using air quotes.

She then turns to Tweek and smiles politely. "Good morning! Are you one of Craig's friends?" Craig feels a weight lift off his shoulders. She most likely assumes that Tweek is on his way to school, then. Because thankfully she didn't catch him inside the house… Or the bathtub. Though he didn't really think that the other boy would meet his parents this soon into their relationship. Craig shakes his head at that thought. Don't be dumb.

"Agh! Ah— uh, yes?"

She nods before looking at Craig, her face less warm as she addresses her socked son, "Craig! Why haven't you put on clothes yet!? It's already five minutes later than when you usually leave the house!"

"What?!" He exchanges a glance with the other boy, who just shrugs anxiously.

Laura pinches the bridge of her nose before sighing deeply. It just seems that Craig is disappointing everyone this morning. Just a moment ago he was taking forever to watch over Tweek like a creep and now he's rushing everywhere constantly. Give him a break, darn. "Ugh, if you can manage to get ready real quick right now, I'll drive you both to school. Just pray to god no rodent crawls into our house in the meantime."

"Oh— I-I don't really need any help ma'am—" Tweek starts spieling but gets cut off lightheartedly by the woman waving him off.

"Nonsense! It's no problem at all, darling!"

"Mom—"

"You have three minutes, Craig."

Craig squirms annoyingly, looking between his newest friend and his mother restlessly before groaning and turning to dash into his house.

"Don't forget the hat!" Tweek says awkwardly, sounding like he wants to yell it out but also not, since he's standing right next to Craig's mother. Craig's eyes widen with the call and he half pauses, staggering as he slaps his hands to his head, grabbing and feeling at his chullo. "Th— No, the— S-Stan's hat, Craig…" Tweek says, mumbling towards the end. Right. Stan Marsh's hat. Craig clicks his tongue before continuing to hurry inside.