A/N: Timeline: post-chunin exam, several days into Hayley's first reunion visit

XX. Battle Wounds

"I just don't understand how you two can trust me so easily."

He was sitting across from the girls at a lone table in his home with sad eyes.

"Especially since you know what I became when you were gone..."

"The real question is: who are you now?" one of them asked.

"I took their lives as if they were nothing," he continued, almost ignoring the question. "What if they had families? What if I left their children fatherless? I had no right to take the life of another."

He was, of course, referring to the handful of people he had killed, even though they were mostly assassins sent after him and it was always out of self defense. And the supposed bloodlust all those years wasn't actually of Gaara himself but Shukaku. He knew all this. But those details didn't matter anymore. Being shown love again for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, he was reminded of the value of life. It hit him like a truck.

When he proceeded to cry into his hand, they both got up and moved to his side of the table.

Hayley placed a hand on his back; the kind of loving, motherly touch he had been starved of for so long.

"Okay, let's think about this," she began. "You had a vicious animal sealed in you before you were even born, so it had nothing to do with you personally. And this animal hates humans and is angry; angry that it has to be stuck inside one and used as a tool, and it lashes out through you. That's where the bloodlust came from, not you. You had to learn to control it all by yourself because no one was willing to help or teach you. And if we take Shukaku out of the picture, and all your dad's brainwashing and manipulation, what's left is a lonely kid with a big heart who was forced to be a child soldier in the village's military. I hate wars, but they happen, and they're the fault of governments and their leaders, not the individual soldiers. And what happens in warfare when you're in the military? Well… it's heartbreaking, but people die. You have no choice but to fight enemy soldiers. You do it to protect your country and its people. Gaara, you were caught in the crossfire of other people's problems. It's not your fault, and it's not who you are. It's just not."

"I can't be excused so easily!" He raised his voice. "It's a big deal, what I did."

"You're right. It IS a big deal. Murder is an evil thing. But think about it, right now: with your dad gone, Shukaku under control, and you being in your right mind again, would you even dream of ever killing again?"

"I… I'm not perfectly sure, honestly."

"No. I don't think you would. I don't think you'd dream of it for even a second. I've sat here watching you mourn out of regret; ever since I arrived in town, really, you've been lamenting. You've been expressing care for other people because you value their lives. That's the real you."

Harley moved back into his range of vision. "Who was it who told me he wanted to become Kazekage in order to bless and protect people? Who took medicine to his bully after an accident six years ago when he didn't have to? Who was the guy who risked his life to fight that bone man and help those Leaf shinobi a couple months ago? Are these qualities of a monster?"

"If one of your siblings were to be put under a spell that forced them to kill," she continued, "but then came back to their senses and were doing everything in their power to earn people's trust back, would you consider them worthy of mercy?"

"Why should you be any different?"

"Because I… I could've stopped it, if I tried harder-"

"You were always at war in your mind, against that tailed beast. You never once, in your heart, actually wanted to kill."

"You two… I…" he resumed sobbing. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Tears are battle wounds."

A/N: So uh… I felt weird writing this one. Probably because I'm a dummy and don't actually know how governments, wars, militaries, etc work beyond the very basics. I just want my baby to be comforted ok

Was thinking about how if Gaara was a real person and never had to do jail time or anything after murdering but was made president instead… we'd be outraged and demanding justice.

But it's Gaara

He is baby

Best boi

We all know this

So in my head he gets to be happy. My OCs will comfort him to the end.

(Also I do HC that he was never truly sadistic and was basically all talk in that area. I know people will disagree buuuuuuut that's just me. I think about this a lot. Feel free to DM or something if you wanna discuss, I guess)