Caught in the hold, water coming up all around them. There was no way out, no way out and they were going to die. Rex looked around frantically. They were already at the highest point in the damned hold, under a grate that wouldn't budge. Their only hope was that their crew would find them before they drowned. It didn't seem like they had a lot of time.
The water was rising steadily, Rex took a breath to calm himself. There was no point in panicking if he was going to die anyway. He took a moment to think about what was to come. He took a moment to lament all of the things he hadn't done.
He looked at Dagger, guilty that he had been unable to keep her safe. He had agreed to this last mission. She was still scanning and scanning, trying to find a way out. She looked at him when he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. He could see the desperation in her eyes, the fear of dying. He wanted to take away that fear, he wanted to save her, but he also knew that sometimes you don't get what you want.
"Hey," he tilted her face up to look at him with a crooked finger under her chin, "Look at me."
She did for a moment and then her eyes darted away again. She was still trying to solve this impossible problem. Maybe if he just delayed her problem solving long enough, she would be able to hold out hope. The hope that Rex didn't have anymore. He gently pulled her back, "Look at me. Only me, ok?"
She nodded and focused on him, her beautiful brown eyes searching for answers in his. She looked at him as if he could save her, oh how he wanted to save her. He would do anything for her, even if that meant easing a modicum of her panic.
"Don't look away," he whispered as his hand looped behind her back, under her armor. He gently pressed closer, pulling her into him. The wet clothing that they both wore stuck together, heat transferred between them easily, even with her armor in the way.
"Rex, I'm afraid," her voice was so small. He knew she was afraid, just as afraid as he was. The only difference was that he was better at hiding it. It was his job, he had to push down his fear for the greater purpose. Even if that purpose was trying to ease the fear in this precious girl, this girl who didn't deserve to feel anymore fear or pain in her life.
He smiled, as convincingly as he could, "Don't be afraid. We will be out of here in just a minute. They will be here and find us."
She looked like she was going to say something more but he beat her to it, "Do you trust me?"
"Of course," it wasn't a question she even had to think about before answering.
Stars, he hated it at that moment, she shouldn't trust him. He was the entire reason that they were in this mess. She should never have been here in the first place. It was his duty to protect her, he was only one man, he could only do so much.
She was loyal to him as her Captain but also something more. She trusted him, even if it was going to kill her. He almost looked away in shame, almost. He couldn't bear to take his eyes off her knowing that these were the last moments he would ever get to gaze upon her beauty.
One of his hands snaked around to hold the back of her neck. Her chin tilted up and he could feel her breath ghosting across his lips. He had to ask, it might be the only chance he ever had. He had to know if she would say yes, and so he broke the promise he made to himself and did.
"Dagger? Can I kiss you?"
He expected her to look shocked, but instead he found relief in her expression. Her lips parted and she breathed out her answer, "Please."
His heart felt like it was breaking with how much emotion filled it at that moment. He moved forward slowly; he wouldn't rush this. He would do it right, he would kiss her properly. He had to, it was his only chance, he certainly didn't have enough time to express how he felt with words.
His hand cupped the side of her face and gently pulled her close. His heart fluttered as her eyes slipped closed. Then his lips were on hers, she was warm and soft. Her lips were wet from the water they had swam through but he could still feel every detail as he pressed his into her.
Rex knew that death was still minutes away but he could have sworn that he had died happy just from kissing her. The simple and blissful pleasure of being close to her. She pressed closer to him and her lips parted in a soft gasp. He opened his mouth slightly and their mouths slipped together, moving as one.
This. This moment was all that he had ever wanted. He had the woman of his dreams in his arms and she was kissing him back with the same passion that he felt burning in his own heart.
He stepped forward, eliminating any space that was between them before, he felt the water curling up around his knees. He broke apart for just a moment, "I love you."
Tears streamed down her face and she hiccupped slightly, "I love you, Rex."
He brushed her tears away with his wet thumb, "Hey, don't cry. We'll be fine in just a minute."
She laughed a humorless laugh, eyes closing tightly as she tried to calm the panic he saw building in her. She reached up for Rex. Her hand found the side of his face and he watched her every move closely as if he thought that she would disappear at any second.
With slight pressure behind her hand, she guided him back to her. He went without a fight and did his best to kiss away the fear. He was gentle and soft with her, he kissed her as if everything was going to be ok. Who knows maybe now it would? He could die knowing that he had the love of his life in his arms. He could die knowing that she loved him back.
There was so much left unsaid, but he was ok with that. He had said the most important thing. He was willing to die, willing to let go, just as long as she knew. Just as long as she understood that he loved her. She would not be taken away from him without that knowledge and he could die happy with what he had been given.
As he kissed her, one of his hands found her waist, his fingers brushed the ever-rising water. He let go of her neck and let his hand fall, dropping into the water on her other side. He grabbed her by the hips and gripped her belt tightly. He pulled her up and his hands slipped under her legs, encouraging them to wrap around his waist.
He tilted his head back to keep their lips connected. She opened her eyes to look down at him. She grabbed his face as he lifted her higher on his hips, keeping her out of the water as long as he could.
Her lithe fingers brushed away a single drop of water that fell down his cheek, neither of them acknowledged it as he smiled up at her, "Just keep looking at me, sweetheart, everything is going to be ok."
"Rex," her voice was a hoarse whisper.
"I know Dagger, I know," the water was slowly creeping its way up his stomach. The water was cold on his back, but his front was warm where she was pressed closely to him. Her head was a short distance from the ceiling, the unrelenting grate still secured tightly to the ceiling. He wanted to curse and scream at it, he wanted to beat on it until it broke. He wanted anything that could help him break free of this trap. He wanted to save her.
Tears dripped from her face and onto his cheeks. He tried to smile at her, but his own sob got caught in his throat. The water was up to his chest, he didn't want to die, he didn't want her to die. She couldn't die, she had to survive, she was his light in this dark war. Too pure to be snuffed out so soon.
He was just a Captain, what could he ever do with his life? He decided that he would just have to hold on, there was nothing else to do at this point. With her legs wrapped around his torso and water holding her weight he was able to wrap both of his arms around her back to pull her close.
He buried his face in the crook of her neck, wet from tears or the water encroaching he couldn't tell. She held his head close and pressed sweet kisses to his temple; he couldn't keep his lips from her neck. He kissed his lips into that precious skin, whispering into her ear over and over again, "I love you. Dagger. I love you."
She shivered against him and he held her tightly. He sobbed into her neck as she said it back, "Rex, I love you, I will always love you."
The mind-numbing dichotomy between her blissful love and the terror of their situation was getting the better of him. He sobbed and held her tightly, his chin hooked over her shoulder. He chanced a look at the water. It was close enough to see his breath making ripples on the surface. No. No, please no. He wanted more time. He needed more time. He would do anything for just a little longer. After all the times that both of them had almost died, this couldn't be it. This couldn't be the end, how it could it be?
He pulled back and sealed his lips over Daggers again, he kissed her like it was his only air. He knew that the end was here, he was powerless to stop it. He didn't want the last thing he ever did to be something so unimportant as breathing. He needed the last thing he ever did in his life to be the most important. He needed it to be kissing Dagger. He pressed all of his love into her lips and kissed her deeper than he thought he would have ever been able to. Deeper than he even knew that he could.
He took one last look at her, he nodded in reassurance as she looked into his eyes. The water was already covering their lips that were pressed together. He was already on his toes. He took one more breath through his nose, he knew this would be the last, too bad it was cut short by the rising water.
He tilted her head up with his hand, gentle fingers encouraging her. It broke his heart when their lips separated, to be so close one moment and forced away the next. He tilted her face towards the sky as his own was completely covered by the water. He lifted her as high as he could even though it would be pointless in the end. She could have one last breath, she deserved so much more, but that was all he could give her. All that he amounted to, all that he could provide was one more breath.
There was nowhere to swim to, there was nowhere to go. But Rex held her as his lungs burned. He saw her sobbing above him, hands desperately clawing at his shoulders. He refused to let her pull herself down to him as she wanted to. He hugged her tightly around her lower stomach, hugged her like he was never going to again and well...
He watched her though the water, one last glimpse of Dagger through the water. Everything was muted, everything was quieter. The water wasn't actively trying to kill him, it just was doing so because of its nature.
Everything was quiet, as if it didn't quite matter that they were going to die. The thought angered Rex, it mattered that Dagger was going to die. It mattered to him. She was the most precious thing in his world. He didn't want her to die. He didn't notice as he cried, tears lost in the water that was slow to drown him.
At least he got that last pleasure, he was able to watch Dagger for a few extra seconds before everything turned black. A slow fade, but fast enough that he didn't have to watch her run out of air. He didn't know if he would have been able to take it, seeing her choke on water as he did when he couldn't hold his breath any longer. He didn't want her to suffer. Even if it was inevitable, at least he didn't have to watch, his vision had already faded and he couldn't see anything. He couldn't feel anything, it was as if he faded out of existence and there was no other choice except to follow his fate to the end. Nothing to be done about it anyway.
In the darkness he heard a voice or maybe he didn't. He couldn't tell if he actually heard it or if it was just his own thoughts. He wanted to go back, he wanted to go back to Dagger. He didn't know what his body was doing anymore, but he hoped that it lasted longer than his mind had. He hoped that the cool water had locked his muscles so he could continue to hold Dagger out of the water even though he knew that it was nowhere near cold enough.
He hoped that he hadn't just dropped her into the nothing, sinking to the bottom uselessly as the air had billowed out of his lungs, unable to hold it in anymore. He just wanted to hold her, to hug her and keep her safe. He wanted so much. He knew it was selfish, but for once he allowed himself to be selfish. He allowed himself to want things, it didn't matter now, he was never going to get them.
Perhaps if he had been born a jedi, instead of being made a clone, he would have been able to save her. Perhaps if he had been made a commando, instead of just a command batch captain, he would have been strong enough to save her. He would have done anything for her, and yet all he did was everything he could. Somehow it didn't feel like enough.
He knew that his heart should be breaking, he knew that he should be crying. But he couldn't feel his body, he didn't think he even had one anymore. And he certainly didn't have any tears left to cry even if he could find his body in the darkness that had swallowed him whole.
It made sense though, his body was never his own, created and designed all the way down to the molecules, down to the tiniest atom. It was never his own, but his mind, well that was something that they couldn't control, or his heart.
That's why all of his thoughts were about Dagger, why his heart beat for her. Why did it beat for her? He had lost his heart too. He couldn't figure out where it went. The darkness was a funny thing. Rex would have thought that spending so much time in space he would be used to the stretching darkness, but this was different and he wasn't in any ship.
He thought he understood how darkness worked. The light got lower and lower until there was nothing that could be seen. There was nothing darker than darkness. However, it seemed like he didn't know how darkness worked anymore. It stretched out in front of him and got darker even though he thought it was already as dark as it could get. It was almost as if he were moving away from the dark and into the darker. It didn't make a lick of sense.
He wasn't afraid but he knew he was alone. He wished Dagger was here with him, she always made him feel better. He pushed the thought aside, no he couldn't think like that. Then he pulled the thought back, why couldn't he think like that? Dagger might like it here, it was dark and it felt safe. Did it matter where they were, as long as they were together? Rex didn't think that it did. He just wanted to be with her.
If he could have found his face, he would have smiled. A soft dopey grin, he decided. He would have smiled till his face fell off. He had told Dagger that he loved her. She even said it back. He was happy. He was content in the fact that for once in his life he was loved like that. He would let the darkness take him now, he was happy now.
There was no battle to be fought anymore. There was no more war to be won. There were no more men to be lost, it was just him. He supposed he could fight in the darkness, but he didn't think it would matter at this point. He had fought enough in his tragically short life. It was all over now, there was nothing left for him here. There was nothing more to be done…
Except maybe there was more to be done.
In a stark contrast to the way everything had faded before, everything came back to him as if it were a speeder hitting him in full force. He slammed back to his body, every sensation that came with it was startling after the weightless, out of body, feeling he had experienced a moment prior.
His muscles contracted against his will and he lurched forward. His lungs burned and he felt like he was spewing an ocean from his mouth. Something was beating against his back. He gagged and choked, desperate for air. He gasped as the first lick of oxygen hit his lungs, then he was choking again.
Rex's eyes screwed shut at the painful way his body continued to expel water from his lungs. The beating continued on his back until he was sure that the next thing out of his mouth would be his lungs.
He fell to his side to try and get away from the abuse. He shivered slightly at the feeling of air on his wet skin. His eyes flew open, air? He was on solid ground, not in the water. Rex blinked his eyes as his heart pounded. Was he alive? He rolled onto his back on instinct alone, he had no control over his movements, things were just happening at this point.
He searched desperately, where was she? Where was she? He didn't care about Jask's face in front of him, he couldn't even hear what the man was saying. All he saw was her. She was alive, she was standing over him, behind Jask.
His hand shot out, grabbing onto the devaronian's shoulder and using it as leverage. He pulled himself to standing and stumbled forward. He tried to speak but his voice croaked and failed him. So instead, he reached forward, he grabbed onto her.
Precious Dagger, standing right in front of him. She held his face in return and he surged forward, his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. Rex kissed Dagger. She breathed a new life into him as he kissed her. He was never going to stop, nothing else mattered anyway.
She latched onto him just as he did. He pressed in close, pulling her forward, crushing her into his chest. He would never let go, he couldn't anyway. He kissed her for what felt like an eternity. His lungs continued to burn and if he could have managed it, he would have growled as he was forced to pull away. He gasped and sputtered as he held her tight, chin hooking over her shoulder yet again. This time his eyes were wide open, Dagger was in his arms and there was nothing left to fear.
He coughed and coughed, trying to get all the water out of his lungs. He coughed so hard that he barely had a moment to get a breath in between the wracking coughs that seized his chest. He could feel Dagger holding on to him. He could tell that she was supporting his weight more than he was.
Rex clutched her to him as he tried to get his shuddering breaths under control. The roaring of blood in his ears slowly started to fade and he could hear her whispering into this ear. He hugged her closer as he tried to hear what she was saying.
Her voice slowly faded back to him, "Ok, you're ok. We're safe Rex, we're safe I promise. We are going to go home. We are going home. Rex you are safe. I promise. We are going home now."
His breaths started to get deeper and he could feel the oxygen slowly starting to saturate into his body. He forced his heart rate to calm down. It was hard for his mind to rationalize that what was going on was real.
Rex had honestly thought that he was dying and thought he was dead. He thought it was all over? He thought that he would never be able to see Dagger again and that he had lived his last moments in this universe.
He pulled back and looked down into Dagger's eyes. Her beautiful eyes looked up at him with such relief. He could still see the tear tracks still staining her face. He nodded at her, "You're right, everything will be ok. We're going home."
"You scared the absolute shit out of me!" Came Jask's loud voice, breaking through the moment, "Both of you! I told you ten minutes!"
Dagger squinted her eyes at him in a scowl, "Yeah I'll be sure to count the minutes accurately next time I'm trying to not get eaten by a Rancor or drowning."
Rex shivered as she spoke, just the thought of the water filling his lungs again was haunting. The helplessness was a feeling that he didn't ever want to experience again. He hated the thought of ever being stuck in that cargo hold with the water rising around them. He was so trapped in that feeling that he didn't even notice the conversation going on around them until Dagger laid a hand on his arm.
She looked at him as if this weren't the first time she tried to get his attention, "Rex are you ok?"
He took in a rough breath and nodded, "Yeah, yeah."
She didn't look like she believed him, "We are heading back to the ship. You need a full med scan."
He didn't have the heart or even the mindset to argue. He probably did need a medscan, his chest ached and panic still bubbled in the back of his mind after the whole experience. The first step he took to follow her back to the ship was shaky and slow.
Dagger gentle grasped his hand, interlacing her fingers with his and slowed her pace so that they walked together. He looked over at her, analyzing, "Are you ok?"
"I'm ok, Rex, I promise. I was only under the water for a minute," her voice sounded distant in a way, as if she were hesitating, holding something back.
He squeezed her hand, "Not just your body, but are you ok?"
She didn't meet his eyes, instead she looked beyond him, "Why did you do that Rex?"
"Do what?" his head cocked to the side as he tried to figure out which part of that disaster she was referring to.
"You pushed me away from you. At the very end, I thought we were going to die you wouldn't let me be with you."
"Dagger," he stopped walking and turned her to face him with a gentle pull, "I had the thought that I could save you. If you got one more breath of air maybe someone would find you in time and you would be safe. Dagger if you had stayed with me I would have had to watch you die with me and that is something I am not willing to do."
A tear streaked down her face, "I thought you were dead Rex. I thought- I thought that you were-"
He hushed her gently as she started to hiccup. He pulled her into him and she buried her head in the crook of his neck. Rex brushed his hand across her back, hand skipping on the wet material. He shushed her again, "I'm sorry Dagger. I'm so sorry."
She sniffed and backed up a glare on her face. He had to work hard to keep the smirk from his face, she looked adorable as she poked his chest with her finger, "Don't you dare ever die in front of me again."
"I'll be sure to do it when your back is turned next time," he replied, grin slipping onto his face. They both laughed and he pulled her in for another hug. It was good to know that they were both as safe as they could be for a moment.
Rex realized that even though he had just about died not even twenty minutes ago he felt better than he had in a long time. He realized that he had told Dagger that he loved her. His lungs still burned but his heart was full.
He leaned back and gently hooked a finger beneath her jaw, "I love you Dagger."
"And I love you, Rex."
She leaned up and sealed their lips together and they kissed. He smiled, everything seemed to be right where it was supposed to be. He held her tight, he wouldn't let her go. Never again would he let her go.