Chapter 14: Loss of Control

The snow was falling softly on the Denali Mountains. Jasper looked at it without seeing it. He had to go hunting, his siblings, but also Tanya were getting on his nerves: Emmett and Rosalie because of their endless cooing and the lust that escaped from every port of their bodies; Alice and Edward because of their perfect love and Tanya because of her misplaced desire for him. She wanted him because he was resisting her, the only bachelor in the family. Sure, he could have had fun with the blonde, but he had been raised in Texas and his values held him back. He wanted to wait for his soul mate to discover the pleasures of the flesh. Unfortunately, this choice only made his loneliness and melancholy even heavier. An eternal life without anyone to share it with was long. It seemed even longer since he had joined the Cullen and adopted their diet. Hunger nagged at him almost perpetually, the temptation of human blood was present every day he had to go to school with his siblings to allow their family to have a pseudo human life and reside in one place for several years. In addition to his omnipresent thirst, he had to add the management of the emotions of the people around him: the students of the high school, his family, the women of the Denali clan... The mixture of emotions and their vegetarian diet made him more prone than others to lose control. That day he felt his control was very thin, if he didn't feed before he crossed paths with a human again, his vampire might take over.

Finally Carlisle, Edward, Emmett and Alice were ready to leave. They ran out of the house in short strides, letting their senses expand to spot prey. It was then that Jasper spotted the most tantalizing and delicious smell he had ever smelled. The vampire took over and Jasper didn't even try to regain control, his whole being was hypnotized by the smell. He had to find out who owned it. He was vaguely aware of Alice stopping and Edward exclaiming to hold him back, but it was too late, he was already speeding towards the source of the smell. As he ran, he felt he was being chased, he sped up, not being able to afford to risk losing the source of the scent.

Suddenly a weight fell on him, grabbing his legs and sending him tumbling to the ground with a loud thud. Jasper turned towards Edward, sending him immediately a kick which made him move back several meters. The blond wanted to go back to his goal, but his brother came back at him. Jasper pushed him away easily, but he had lost precious seconds and the rest of his family had had time to join them. One on four, even though he was by far the best fighter in the group, it was no match. Emmett and Edward belted him as Carlisle and Alice moved in front and behind him, holding him by the shoulders. He hesitated for a moment to use his power, but a baby's cry followed by a woman's voice and a man's voice came out. The man's voice was like music to his ears. All his attention turned to the man. He was scared, yet determined and confident, like someone who was about to fight, Jasper realized. Over his father's shoulder, he saw the woman, about fifty years old, and the exceptionally handsome young dark-haired man. He had emerald green eyes, black hair in a shaggy mess, a tanned skin, a slim, athletic figure. His gaze soothed Jasper instantly as he gazed into it. The woman gave the young man a baby and he turned to enter the house. And suddenly everything disappeared: the sight, the smell, the man's voice, his emotions were still there, but so attenuated that they were almost inaccessible to him. Only the woman remained. Jasper cried out in frustration, he struggled for a moment, but the fog that had taken possession of his mind when he had felt the young man finally dissipated. It took him several seconds of deep breathing to finally regain control of his body and realize the tension in his family.

"It's okay," he said in a calm voice to be released.

He felt the intense gazes of Carlisle and Edward fixed on him.

"I've come to my senses," he thought to Edward.

"I see that," Edward replied in a calm voice.

They all let him go, but they remained on the defensive. Jasper sensed Alice was stressed by the situation, he guessed she was looking into the future to see if there was any risk. Edward was confused, and so was Emmett. Only Carlisle was confident, believing in himself when he said it was okay now.

"What happened Jasper?" asked Carlisle in a calm, concerned voice.

The blond realized he wasn't sure what had just happened to him. He tried to formulate an answer, but the voice of the woman who had remained outside the house spoke up.

"Vampires, I would like to speak to you."

The voice was clear and calm. Jasper turned his gift to her and analyzed her emotions.

"She's confident, she's not afraid," he murmured in surprise.

Usually humans who knew their nature were afraid of them and would run away, but not her.

"Edward?" asked Carlisle, concerned.

"I don't know," he replied, annoyed. "I don't hear anything."

"I see. I'll go," the older man decided. "You guys go far enough away from this house that there won't be another loss of control."

Jasper felt bad when he heard this sentence. Was it because he was ashamed to have reacted like that? Or was it because he didn't want to walk away?

"I'm going to go see what she wants from us. Feed yourself, we'll see you at home," concluded the doctor in a tone without appeal.

The man was determined, a little worried, but confident. Jasper took one last look around and turned away, disappointed, from the house.

Harry was playing in the snow with Teddy, making pies and balls together. What he had learned three weeks earlier continued to haunt him. He had responded to Charlie anyway, but Charlie had sensed his trouble, expressing his concern in the letter Harry had received two days before.

"Inima mea,

Is everything all right? Your last letter makes me think something is bothering you, is that the case or just me worrying too much about you? Is it the letter from Hermione? The news I gave you? If it is and you would rather I didn't tell you about the developments in England, just tell me.

I have two more trips to make to Scotland, then I'll be going to Alaska around mid-November. I can't wait, I loved my first visit there. Then I'll have to go back to Romania for a week and then it will be Egypt, a country that I also like very much, the dragons there are so different from those in cold climates!

Please inima mea, please tell me how you are. I miss you, I wish I could hug you, reassure you, tell you that everything will be fine.

Te iubesc.

Charlie. "

Obviously, Harry had felt guilty for doubting their relationship when he hadn't even met the blonde. He felt like he was cheating on Charlie just by not sharing this information with him. Should he tell him? Certainly not in a letter, but the next time they met?

Andromeda snapped him out of his internal questioning by joining him outside. She had read the paper Hermione had sent him after his violent reaction to it. She had tried to reassure him that he would know what to do when the time came, that he had no reason to push Charlie away now and that he should enjoy what he had while he could, but that hadn't been enough for the young man.

A loud noise, similar to the one a giant tree might make as it fell, sounded. The two wizards looked around as Teddy began to cry.

"The food is hot," she said as she took the boy in her arms, though she immediately handed him to Harry, looking away.

"Go inside and get him ready for dinner, I'm coming," she added seriously.

"Is everything all right?" Harry asked, suddenly defensive.

"I think so, don't come out under any circumstances," she ordered.

Harry did not argue and did as he was told. He heard a shout from outside and hurried to his task. Once Teddy was ready, he handed him over to Naoil and looked out anxiously, wand in hand. Andromeda was talking over the fence to a man in his twenties, blond, with amber eyes and transparent skin. This man was a vampire, one of the vegetarians, but he was not the man of his dreams.

Harry's eyes were drawn to the forest on the horizon, barely visible under the snow. He couldn't see anything. His anxiety at the thought of meeting the vampire who was, presumably, his second soul mate soared, gripping his heart. His mind wandered to his dreams to list what he knew about the blond, but he realized that in the end he didn't know much about him.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't realize Andromeda had finished talking to the vampire until she walked back into the house.

"Do you want to know?" she asked.

Harry quickly asked himself the question, but the answer was obvious, his whole being screamed it at him.

"Yes," he breathed.

"There were five vampires, all from the same convent. One of them picked up your scent and lost control. It took all four of them to stop him. Apparently, he came to his senses as soon as you entered the house," she explained in a neutral tone.

"When I got past the guards," Harry concluded thoughtfully.

"That's right."

"Do you know what his name is?" He didn't know why, but he needed to know now.

"Jasper."

The name made him tremble from head to toe, he suddenly felt warm and his heart raced.

"It seems to be him," Andromeda confirmed his reaction. "I'm going to their house tonight to explain how I know about them. Do you want me to tell them about your connection?"

Harry could only nod, still in shock at his own reaction and fearful of the reaction he would have the day he met him.