This fanfic, by far, has been one of the longest I've written - and it's the closest I've come to truly being satisfied and near an end goal for a fic I've been working on in this new decade. I have a habit of trying to work on many projects at a time, and my dedication to each has been so-so, but this one? I can safely say, I'm the most happy with working on and I pray I'll be able to finish this before summer ends. Crossing my fingers here!

So now, I present you chapter 11, where we get to the "healing" process in the aftermath of the battle from chapter 10. In realizing animals don't work medically like humans, I did the best I could.

For years, since she was at least four, Shira swore that she never wanted to catch any positive feelings for a non-saber… especially herbivores and omnivores, and humans. She buried any remorse she had deep down. She did as much as she could to live up to the standards held for a high ranking alpha. Anything and everything that she could do to prove herself worthy, even at the cost of whatever conscious she held, she did. She was content to go with the rest of her life as Soto's lieutenant, without ever truly thinking of all those that had laid at her mercy… without thinking of those who she'd deemed beneath her or unworthy of a second thought. But now, as Gupta was injured from dealing with a predator twice his size, as Gutt carried the almost limp form while having his own wounds to show for the dangers he'd faced and Roshan had nearly faced danger from something that hadn't been her, she would give anything to make sure they weren't put in harm's way ever again.

Lost in her emotions, Shira was unaware that the gigantopithecus noticed her expression, worried and near grief-stricken like he was. He saw her fear, same as his, horrified at seeing the state their companion was in. While both had gone through their own losses of those they cared for, neither had the chance to actually have the chance to help— to actually get to try and save someone who had been harmed from death. That chance was snatched from them the first time, for they'd been too late to save their families, forced to watch as their loved ones died. For both, getting this opportunity to help Gupta, to try and treat his wounds was a grim reminder of how fragile life was. Despite their wishes to start over, to be able to do the same for their deceased families, such a thing couldn't happen. It was a sobering experience for both.

Gutt could only thinking of all the times he had spent, having been so cold to Gupta. He spent time thinking of him as someone too idealistic, a bit foolish, talkative and too forward… and even sometimes, runt-like. But it wasn't like he hadn't cared for the badger. He did, even from the start… that was why he had saved him, because he didn't want him to get hurt by those rhinos. His heart was just so closed off, he appeared uncaring, but that didn't mean that he'd thought of him so lowly… and he felt a grief overwhelm him, knowing now how insecure the guy was. How he wished to prove himself, to assist in any way he could, and how he had done exactly that by throwing himself into danger just to protect Roshan—just to help out his fellow mammals in fighting off those wolves.

"Idiot…" he muttered, feeling himself choke up. "You're not a nuisance, and we never… I never resented you…"

Shira moved closer to the ape. She understood how he felt, sharing the same remorse he had and more. "He's – he's really brave for someone so small," she remarked, her own voice getting choked up. "I didn't know he had it in him… to take on a—" she stopped, recalling the exact moment they had found him.

They had made it to the den, just in time to see that the remaining wolf had caved in the entrance and had trapped Gupta under his paw, his claws digging into the badger's back. The gouged out eyes of the canine laying across the chamitataxus.

Gutt had reacted immediately, snapping the wolf's neck before he reached in to grab the badger's form. By then, the smaller mammal had gone out cold, unconscious but holding onto life. Gutt had tried to shake him awake, to no avail. Shira had nearly gone sick at the sight, but quickly went to get Roshan, to make sure the child was alright. Thankfully, he was, but of course, he'd gotten worried sick as they were.

And now here they were, near an area of fallen trees and rocks. Enough wood to make a campfire, and on the trees were evergreen herbs that Gutt recognized — verdi curativi, his mother had called them. The elder was more experienced in this sort of thing, but taught him enough just in case. Now, he was very thankful she did. "We'll stop here," he decided.

Shira nodded and placed Roshan down on a small rock, which he sat on, looking worriedly at Gupta's battered form. Gutt gently laid Gupta down on a patch of dried leaves, before rushing to get the herbs. Shira went to start the fire, trying her best to smash the rocks and sticks together. Thankfully, it started.

The ape returned and began tending to the badger, applying the verdi curativi to the smaller mammal's wounds. "Hang in there, little guy," he murmured. "You're gonna be okay…" A part of him wasn't sure if he really believed his own words, but he had to remain faithful. He had to, for his companion's sake.

"How is he?" asked Shira, watching as the gigantopithecus was applying an healing herb to one of the wounds. She was fearing the worst, that he had taken too much damage and that he'd… that one of the guys she had grown close to over the journey would die. After all, badgers weren't very big. Just barely was Gupta strong enough to hold and carry Roshan, but to take on a predator twice his size? Might as well be facing the rhinos again, preparing to become a —

Gutt sighed as he pressed the herb over a particularly gnarly looking cut across Gupta's back. It moved slightly, up and down with the shallow breaths taken — so slow, so quiet, but still filled with enough life. "He's out of death's path, thankfully," he answered. "He took quite a hit, but he's a good fighter and persistent as ever." Thank god, he added silently. For once, the persistence was welcome.

Shira sighed in relief. "Good… so he'll live then." That's good, but… she trailed off in her mind, thinking of what would happen next. She didn't know if she wanted to really go through the plan anymore. She didn't want to face death, but she didn't want to exchange a child's life for her own. It wasn't right. It was wrong, so very wrong, and she couldn't go through it anymore—but she couldn't turn back now, though, due to what would happen if… oh, why is this so hard? She wanted to wail silently, bemoan over the turmoil within her and happening around her, but no, she wasn't even allowed that.

"I believe he will." Gutt looked at Gupta with a sad expression, feeling a pang of guilt. The badger had felt unwanted because of him, or at least he felt that was the case. He should have tried to get across that he didn't hold any contempt, but he was never good with making friends, not after— "I can't believe he felt like a burden…"

"Well, you weren't—I mean, we weren't exactly nice to him at the start," Shira began, shifting her paws uncomfortably. "I think Pinkster— Roshan…was the only one who seemed to accept him instantly. But the kid's always been so warm, loving…" Even when I don't deserve it. "…so is that a surprise? I don't think so." She looked down. "Gupta, though—I think…I think he listens to us too much, you know? He takes what we say about him, especially what you say…really seriously." Her teal eyes reflected sadness. A strange sight for the ape. "I – I think you're smart, don't get me wrong, but – but Gupta does too… and when we treat him like he's dumb, he believes he is! 'Cause he takes what we think to heart. Even when we don't—"

"You really think that?" the question left Gutt's mouth so fast. The thought swam through his mind. All this time… "I don't … why?"

At that, Shira grinned, a terrible grin without a trace of humor in it. Her teeth gleamed a ghostly white in the dark. "Do you really not know? Are you really … that stupid… yourself?"

Gutt frowned. He almost snapped back that he wasn't stupid. Almost. But that awful grin on the saber's face and the sadness in her eyes made the words shrivel up on his tongue.

"I don't know why I'm saying all of this," the saber sighed. "I'm as guilty as you are. Hell, I told him when we first met that I'd be chewing on his back…" She noticed Roshan crawling over to the badger, concerned. The infant poked the badger's cheek and babbled something.

"Gup?"

"Roshan, no," said Shira, quickly moving to the human child and grabbing him by his 'scruff'. "Don't do that. You'll—"

Gupta groaned and slowly blinked. He whimpered as his eyes flickered open. Roshan let out a happy coo and leaned as far as he could to touch his face, with the badger leaning into the baby's touch for a second. Then the feeling was replaced by the surprising, gentle touch of Shira's nose pressed to his. Shira was as strong and unforgiving as steel but when she wanted to be, she could be as soft as silk – only to those that deserved it. Gupta desperately needed a soft place to fall, and she provided that for him. He groaned again, but this time it was softer, more peaceful. His body relaxed and so did hers. It seemed, for now, that Gupta was going to be fine.

"Shira… Gutt… Roshan…" he murmured as his eyes finally opened. He looked at all of them before smiling. "You're all okay."

"Of course…partially thanks to you," Shira told him, giving him a light nuzzle. "Thank god you're okay." She couldn't imagine a world where he was gone, a world where his light was snubbed out. He along with Roshan were two upstarts she had grown fond of, despite that not being her intentions at all in the beginning – which made her feel all the more guilty. It's my fault you're hurt, she despaired in her mind. It's my fault this happened. If I hadn't followed those orders...

"Of – of course, heh… can't keep a good mammal down," Gupta said, chuckling lightly. He winced as a pain rushed through his back, where the wolf had clawed him. "Agggh!" He couldn't believe he forgot for a second that he'd gotten pierced there. Not too badly, he prayed…

"Try not to laugh too much," Gutt instructed, concern in his voice as he held his hands up. "The wounds are still fresh. Scars are forming. It'll take a few hours before the pain subsides, but since it's been treated, you should heal quicker than if there weren't any herbs applied." Would Ma be proud that I wound up using her lessons for good? he wondered. He'd never know, due to her fate. He imagined a smile on the old ape's face, a pat on the back and a that's my boy from his pops, even. But that was just an idea.

"Scars?" Gupta glanced at his back, and saw that over the skull were three fresh scars. His eyes widened, realizing that the cut had been more larger than he thought. But seeing there was an healing herb applied, he sighed in semi-relief, knowing it wouldn't get infected. A consequence for running into battle with a predator twice my size, he thought. But it was worth it, for… he looked to Roshan, who smiled so happy, so relieved. And he smiled back. "Suppose you're not the only one with an experience in bloodbaths now, Gutt. Shira."

Gutt's expression hardened. "How could you do that?" he demanded to know. "Running to fight a wolf – do you understand how insane that was? It's twice your size, and you – you gouged its eyes out! Why would you endanger yourself like that? You could have … you could have died!"

"I had to!" Gupta defended his decision, his brow furrowing. "I had to do something to keep it from attacking Roshan. I couldn't live with myself if I just stood around and did nothing, if I just— gah!" He grit his teeth as another pain surged through as he sat up, but he tried to ignore it. "If I just remained wasteful. If I died back there, then it would be an honorable death." He puffed his chest out. "To die protecting the innocent is better than to stand aside and let someone get hurt."

"Wasteful? What makes you think you are wasteful?" asked Gutt, frowning deeply at his companion's words. He felt guilt weigh heavily on him. Was Shira right? Was he really so stupid? So unthoughtful? "You're not wasteful, and you're not a burden."

"I didn't pay much of my debt back," Gupta argued, biting his lip, feeling his own type of guilt. "And I've been a bit of nuisance. So loud and obnoxious. I'm surprised you and Shira haven't gotten so sick of me yet."

"Nuisance? Obnoxious? You, never," Gutt was quick to shut that idea down. He knew he wasn't good with expressing his emotions—positive ones, at least—but he had to reassure him that wasn't the case. That he never thought that low of him, not for a second. "I used to think you were a runt, yes. I used to think you were cowardly. But over time, I realized, you were just overly optimistic and wounded, from all the times your family left you." He swayed a bit as he sadly shook his head. "I understand now that you were insecure… but sometimes, your questions stung and—I have my own fears too, you know? It's hard for me to get close to someone because I've lost…I've had my own painful experiences with family. So it took me a while to see from your view, because I've kept up an ice wall around me for so long." It feels like it's been so long, anyhow.

Gupta's eyebrows knit together. "Gutt, mujhe khed hai…"

"It's fine." Gutt dismissively waved a hand through the air, careful not to tumble as he did so. He had to keep steady, had to make this right… he had to fix this. "But the point is – because I have a point – the point is, you're not a nuisance or obnoxious. A little loud, yes, but not a burden. Actually, you're helpful in a really bizarre way, going out there to face off the wolf to help Roshan. That takes true bravery." He gave a light- careful not to be too rough on the new scars- pat on the badger's back. "And Shira said you listen to us when we…well, aren't savory. Which is weird, because you usually didn't seem to care about what I say at all, so I wanted you to know that—"

"Shira, you said what?"

The saber and gigantopithecus both blinked at the badger. Gupta looked upset still, though Shira couldn't think of a reason why that should be – until it hit her.

"It hit me as we were bringing you here." She shifted her paws uncomfortably. "And it hurt me, because I was partially a cause of that…and I didn't like contributing to your insecurity. Because I don't hold any contempt for you. I don't think you're an idiot."

"And neither do I," Gutt added in. "Not anymore. You're…a bit smart, actually. Smart, and a valuable member of this group." He smiled, sadly. "I just didn't know it until you went and showed it." And then, the next words left, shocking both of his mammal companions, "Gupta, I'm sorry."

Gupta opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. "You're forgiven."

"I know I've been really harsh on you," Gutt went on, not really registering the chamitataxus' words. He had been so cold, and it had taken a while for him to thaw…and now that he was ready, he was desperate to make sure he hadn't— "I understand if you hold any grudges, or if you are upset."

"Gutt, I – I'm not upset at you or Shira…" Gupta swallowed, trying to keep his emotions from overwhelming him. He had always wanted this, affirmation that he wasn't a burden, but now he didn't know what to say or do. Here he was seeing a softer side of the gigantopithecus, and he was befuddled as to what to do. All he could say was, "I just wanted to prove myself, and to be your friend. If I have that, then I'm fine… grudges aren't my thing."

Gutt beamed at that, a warmth going through him. It might have just been the relief, but he didn't think so – it had to be some kind of joy, too. "That's good! 'Cause you know what? I think…I think you're a good friend. No, a great friend that any ape, tiger or human could ever ask for!" And he meant it, every single word.

Gupta's face broke into a wide grin. "Really?" It sounded too good to be true. He had to claw himself, to see if he was dreaming—

"Really!" Shira chimed in, grinning widely. "You're amazing."

Roshan squealed and clapped his hands, nodding his head in agreement. He tried to form a word, but he couldn't, so he made little sounds in an attempt to get his word across – that he, too, thought highly of the badger. He was so brave, just like his parents and the tribesmen! And he was helping him so much, just like the other two…so the human child wished to see him happy.

Gupta teared up. For so long, he wanted this – to belong to something. To have real friends. To be helpful. Now he had friends, those that believed in him, that didn't think he was a pain… friends that cared about him. He felt so happy, so joyful.

Life wasn't perfect, and it would never be without its downsides, but in this moment, it felt close to perfection.

"Aapako dhanyavaad, guys… you're all wonderful. I don't know where I'd be without you all." Gupta looked to Roshan and reached his paw out, gently patting the child's arm. "Especially you. You may be a little light, but you shine brightest of all."

Roshan smiled, a pure joyful one, and crawled towards the badger to give him a hug. He wanted to express his gratitude more, to tell him how grateful he was for his help – for everyone's help, really. That they were the best friends he had, and the best saviors a kid could ask for – but he lacked the proper words. All he could say were babbles and coos, but with this hug, he prayed it would be enough to get his message through. Just as he prayed within days, they would find his father and he would be home.

Feeling Gupta hug back, the infant eased up, especially when he heard him say: "You too, kid. You too."

Shira felt her heart melt at the sight. Such a wonderful sweetness filled the atmosphere. She never felt happier since… since she was with her own family. So to see this, to see the human child and the badger hug, to be finally able to admit she saw Gupta as a good companion, to see Gutt's own heart thaw and to see this much more sincere side of him – it overwhelmed her. It felt like the happiness returned, somehow, in the form of this band of misfits.

Which was when she was starting to come to grasp the fact that, I can't continue with this mission. I can't do it.

To throw this all away for the sake of saving her skin, it was unthinkable now. Sabers weren't supposed to soften up like little cubs, sabers were supposed to be remorseless assassins, but she wasn't a proper saber. She knew now she never really fit that mold, not in the way the pack would want her to. From her fur to the way her heart had begun to thaw, she knew…she was the opposite. And the guilt from the fact she was the cause of this, that she had led the child's mother to her demise…it ate at her like termites in wood. A parasitical guilt gnawing at her until she was feeling hollow, pained by the weight of her actions.

What have I done?

She was only torn from her burden for a moment, as Gutt spoke up.

"I'm proud of you, Gupta." The sincerity and genuine nature in his tone was unmistakable. There was no coldness, no sense of the icy walls set up around the ape's heart—he was true. "You did good." He gave him another pat on the back. "By tomorrow, you'll be alright enough to continue moving. But next time, don't gouge out the eyes of something that's twice your size. I don't want to lose you…pal." At the last word, a small grin formed on Gutt's face.

The chamitataxus beamed again. "Understood…friend." He was grinning now, as well.

Seeing the two smile at each other, Shira forced her own smile, trying to not let the guilt plague her. But it was hard. What am I doing? I shouldn't be here. I'm the reason Roshan's mother died. I'm the reason Gupta has his scars. I'm the reason Gutt had to— suddenly, she heard a squeal. She snapped out of it, only to see Roshan pointed his hand at her, a smile on his face.

As if he was letting her know he hadn't forgotten about her. That he was also grateful to her. And when Gupta and Gutt looked at her with such genuine grins, she felt herself melt even more. It had been easy to keep her guard up, to put walls around herself, but to open up? To show her own soft side? It was difficult.

Yet she managed to. Her smile became less forced. Her steps toward them were genuine as they were in their happiness. So was her playful question, "And what am I?"

"You're our pussycat," Gutt teased in return, his grin growing. A welcome upstart, he meant to say. But he wasn't ready to say that yet. To admit that he was beginning to feel something for her… but to accept her as a welcome fellow traveler? To slowly start to get used to seeing her as a friend? He was nearing that, slowly but surely.

Shira's eyes narrowed, but she kept a grin. "Didn't say you could call me that, monkey boy," she continued the teasing. Talking with him had been hard at the start, but now she felt more relaxed, more at ease. To talk with him was easier than any of her pack members, especially Soto, to the point where she wished she hadn't been so callous in the beginning – to the point where she wished she could've taken back that night, where she had informed those two fleabags of…

"I know, but I like to." Gutt nudged Shira's shoulder, light and careful. Like they had been friends all along, the way it was supposed to be … or, it felt to him that it was. That this was a gift, somehow given by Roshan. Somehow, in choosing to aid him, he had been given the chance to have friends… and a new start in life. For once, he felt like his life was taking a better direction, ever since he had lost his family. "Get used to it. You'll be stuck as the pussycat for a couple more days."

"Fear not, Shira," Gupta chimed in, going over to the tigress' other side, cozying up slightly. "I also consider you my friend."

Roshan giggled and hugged her foreleg. He was so happy to see everyone in this state, enjoying each other's company, bonding so nicely after such a scary incident. It was delightful to see his favorite mammals all getting along after so much turmoil.

Shira felt herself nearly tearing up. It was too much to handle, and she didn't deserve this – not for the sins she committed, the life she had inadvertently taken. She deserved scorn, their ire, but instead they showed her kindness. If they had known the truth, she knew she would be no longer at Gutt's good side, but at his mercy.

"You're all wonderful," she spoke, her voice getting choked up. "I…I'm so grateful to have you guys travel with me. Truly, I am." I'm so sorry… I shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here. You should be safe and sound… far away.

Gutt held Shira's paw in his hand, his fingers curling around the pads and giving it a light squeeze. She leaned on him, squeezing his hand back gently. "As am I," the ape whispered, and that familiar warmth surged through as he saw the tigress' eyes light up in a such a way, that he wondered why he ever generalized her kind. Or why he had generalized any member of this bizarre group.

"We're such a strange bunch," Gupta remarked as he leaned on Shira, a light chuckle escaping him. "I mean, three mammals of different groups, species and sizes, brought together by our want to help a human… it's a story you'd only hear in a folktale." He glanced at his back. "Yet I've got the scars to prove that this is real."

"And I wouldn't have it any other way," Gutt said, as the group began to curl up together in a sleeping pile of sorts. He brought Roshan close, cradling him in his other arm. "Even if the circumstances weren't ideal, if I had the chance to go back? I wouldn't change a single thing. Especially not you, Pinky." Little light that shines the brightest.

Roshan touched Gutt's face, as if to say he felt the same. He would miss them all when they would part ways, but maybe they'd see each other again? He could only dream. And so he did, as his eyes drooped shut and he yawned before letting sleep overtake him.

"Goodnight, Pinky," whispered Gutt, feeling himself tear up as he thought of his Luce. Thought of what could have been, but wasn't. Thought of how this was his second chance, a chance to somehow…make up for his error, his inability to rescue his own child. Your father doesn't deserve to lose you, he wished to say. And you shouldn't have lost your mother. He looked to his companions. "Goodnight, Gupta. Shira." Neither of them deserved the pain life put them through, either. Yet they were all overcoming the darkness, slowly walking towards a lighter, more hopeful path.

A better future.

"Buenas noches, Gutt. Roshan. Gupta."

"Shubh raatri, Gutt. Roshan. Shira."

With that, the three mammals went to sleep, and as Gutt was the last to allow slumber to overwhelm him... he thought that perhaps, he wasn't nearing the end of a journey. No, he was walking towards the start of a new one.

A new life.

Mujhe khed hai – "I'm so sorry"; Hindi

Aapako dhanyavaad – "Thank you"; Hindi

Verdi curativi – "Curing greens"; Italian. Made this up on the spot, don't come at me.

Buenas noches – "Good night"; Spanish

Yay for family bonding! Gutt's thawed up to Gupta, Roshan is still the pure child, and Shira's redemption kicking in because she's become a softie (lol) now.

Ice Age is such a perfect study on light overcoming dark and second chances – and I pray I am doing that justice here!

By the way, I feel myself overcome with my own feels after writing this genfest. What has this AU done to me? *cries*